Wheels Down

Posted on April 16, 2016 | Leave a comment

My husband touched down about an hour ago, not home but across the country but he is probably in Customs and on US soil in a safe place.

He’s been in India for work, a grueling week and I’m certain he’ll sleep the weekend away and be home a week from now.

I gave him a list from the NYTimes (thanks, Grey Lady) of what to do and what not to do. His favorite beverage includes an inordinate amount of ice and Dallas’ answer to Beaujolais, Dr. Pepper. He was deprived of both (you can’t drink local water/ice) so I asked him to treat himself to a huge glass of ice and Dr. P at the airport. No word from him for over an hour. He must still be at Customs.

He brought an extra suitcase with books and training materials. I’m getting worried though I’m glad they landed safely. He’s through and is driving to his hotel before he gets too tired. Whew! He sounds really tired and will call later, guess he didn’t get his DP and ice.

When a spouse can’t call for over a week it’s stressful, especially with taxes et al to be completed, but I did them as I have for years, before we were married I did his! He asked to meet me at the restaurant where we first met, on April 14 – nice timing – and showed me his W-2 and asked me to do his federal and state taxes, giving me the forms. The deadline, it was snail mail back then, was midnight on the 15th so I went over it with him at the restaurant, we made a copy, sealed the envelope and drove to the main post office about 10 p.m. and waited in line to place the envelope (in the running car) in the USPS mailbox.

That old car brings back memories of trips we took and stories that were shared. He sold it to a co-worker years ago. His colleague came to our going-away party and I asked if I could say goodbye to the car. I just looked at it, looked into the window and there was a baby seat in the back and I knew it was no longer “our” old car, it was theirs. Good.

Here’s a tax story. I did my own taxes and mailed them via USPS. Two days later they were returned to me for no reason. I spent a day dealing with the IRS and the USPS who finally said they made a mistake. The IRS waived penalties because it was the fault of the postal service. I’d sent the unopened tax envelope with postmark in another envelope with a postmark and IRS still said I had to pay late fees because even with the April 15 postmark it arrived late. Don’t trust the federal government! That’s all for now. I have to hope my husband doesn’t fall asleep on the freeway. Dee

ps He’s parked and is walking to his hotel. I’m sure he’ll get a lot of sleep but at least he’s safe. Last night I tried to put worry out of my mind with breathing and thoughts. I think I’ve worried since I was a little kid. It’s a hard habit to kick. Please don’t say yoga. Dee

 

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Trust

Posted on April 15, 2016 | 3 comments

At my advanced age I hate to say this but I really don’t trust people who have never had or loved a pet. Someone who has never cared for a spouse or living being their entire life because they’re “too busy” or wish to collect coins.

A guy asked me this morning about the white stuff on my dog Zoe’s coat. I said she was shedding her winter undercoat. Yes, spring is coming late up here. Of course she sheds her undercoat 365 a year, 366 on leap years. It’s all over floors and carpets even though I tend to it every 48 hours!

She has tufts coming out so needs a brushing, bath (I do that at home). 24 hours drying by herself then a comb-out. I need to pay some bills and do some business here so won’t get to that ’til the weekend.

As a young woman I asked why someone’s cat jumped on my lap and put his butt in my face. He was purring like crazy. He liked me! Yes, that was the answer.

I adopted two kitties after that who I had for many years and I knew their personalities, and neither placed their butts in my face, they walked aong my kybotf. Yes, mess up the keyboard. Nate was older and did not want to be chased by Mickey. Both purred. I bought them a blanket for Christmas one year only to lay on the sofa under it for five minutes while one went over and one went under and then wiggled out after they slept and they snuggled, unbeknonwnst, with each other so I could work.

There’s no disdain, just a lack of understanding of people who don’t “get” either people or animals. Zoe loves to be lifted up onto the bed but when the sun begins to come up she goes underneath, under my pillow so I can’t leave her. She’s a herder and a chow hound. She loves her one and only indestructible toy, we call “Precious.”

I believe one needs to take care of something, hamster, bird, fish, cat, dog, horse, cow or whatever before taking on a spouse and creating a family. Zoe’s hip surgeon, Dr. Val, used to have us stay over. When Zoe and went out the earth shook at 6 a.m. There were a horse and huge STEER, Pork Chop, following us in the yard thinking it was Val coming to feed them! It was a good lesson for both of us. Pup Zoe freaked out.

People I meet these days are living in a bubble. They’ve little or no family, no spouse and no pet and they hang out with strangers and talk about the weather or newspaper.

It is my wish that we build a cabin in the mountains and I have a huge chest freezer and shop at a grand market once a month and perhaps have a book club with ladies from town, and tea. On our own land I can toss a ball for our old Zoe without a $300 off-leash ticket. Get to know the neighbors, bring over banana bread or corn custard with chorizo. Take care of their dogs when they’re out of town. And host dinner parties with Texas Chili or whatever else is on my menu.

That’s who I am. They call me the dog lady. I can’t help it. I would be the cat lady as well but my husband is deathly allergic. There’s a story! Cheers, Dee

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Nasty Things

Posted on April 14, 2016 | 5 comments

Taxes, ugh. I finished them this morning. Feds and multiple states. Oh, don’t go to Maine. My husband was there for eight days and owes $500 for the privilege, and he can’t even eat seafood. That took 3 hours.

Then I spent a couple of hours on health insurance. OK, a few. After over two weeks we got a policy number that did not work. No policy, no cards, no proof. That was a downer after finishing and submitting taxes.

My husband has a very nice old car in our garage that’s battery is dead. It’s dusty because he’s been away on business so much. Mine is slimed with rain, snow and mush but it works and I just need to run it through the car wash.

His battery is dead. They’re power washing the garage next week and he’s still away so I arranged to have it towed (better than the alternative) to my mechanic and have a bit of work done on it.

Yes, I’ll get to the rest of the bills tomorrow, I was just a bit busy today and never even got to dinner at this late hour but took Zoe out four times and fed her twice. That’s what even dog “mom’s” do.

Business is the order of the day. That’s the way it is. Dee

ps There is a situation going on with family today, please help in thinking about all. Thank you, Dee

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Barbie

Posted on April 13, 2016 | 2 comments

I was never allowed to have one, and really I didn’t understand why my girlfriends liked them. Years later, my favorite college professor, Fr. Cap taught a class on, yes, Barbie. He pointed out her proportions if the doll was made into a woman, and making that the standard for male likes of a female figure.

The numbers were grotesque and unimaginable. Even Kate Moss wouldn’t have made the cut. The most enviable class in school showed us that women can be women.

Fr. C and I were friends for over 40 years, he was my advisor, before he died.

So I went and got a Barbie of my own, over 12 years ago. She was from a shelter and had worms and coccidia. A couple months after we got her at six weeks, already spayed (I draw the line at 8 weeks, not five) I had to make a decision to get her hips removed. She grew her own from cartilage, there were no hip replacements for small dogs back then.

She prides herself on beauty sleep of at least 20 hours per day, wouldn’t I love to look that good as she’s way older than me in people years.

She sits by my feet at all times and follows me everywhere,doing a serpentine in front of me when I’ve a load of laundry to fold. How could Barbie do that?

She’s a sweet, smart, intense, demanding herding dog who loves to sleep on our bed and pester us. Right now my husband is working elsewhere so she’s extra vigilant and is sleeping under my desk.

Mom is long gone but I have My Barbie, and she’s real. A rescue with no hips. It’s taken a lot of time and effort and training but she’s great with people (kids too) and other dogs, even some cats as she was trained by me and a cat. Don’t worry, we’re not looking for a doggie Ken. She was spayed at five weeks by the shelter.

Look for personality. Get your adoption dog or cat (yes, adopt) to a vet. Talk to your family. Then adopt. I say spend $100 then the rest on hip surgery!

Please adopt from your local shelter. You’ll find your own Barbie and Fr. C, God rest his soul, would appreciate that you love and care for that pet forever. We’re Franciscans, after all. Here in solitude with my girl Zoe, Dee

 

 

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Posted in animals, dogs, Editorial

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Losing

Posted on April 12, 2016 | Leave a comment

Mom always conveyed that I was loser, she was trapped, married to Dad and pregnant so stuck, back in the old days. Vacuuming in a dress and heels and high hair. She lost much but the year I graduated college she did as well. I was Deans’ List at 3.8 and she was summa and went on to accounting where she passed her CPA exam the first time. That was not a competition. I was very proud of her.

For several weeks now, and nearly all last year I’ve lost my husband to work everywhere. He always calls me every night but he’s overseas in India so even our new iPhone 6 S’ won’t work. Work on that, Apple.

It’s been a bit but I’ve got bruises that made it difficult to walk, sit and sleep. I couldn’t have caused them myself, maybe bruised a couple of ribs. Sleepwalking? Never did it in all my life. Maybe once I was tired so missed the bathroom by 10′ at age eight and tried to pee on a chair in the living room.

I’m also in the process of losing my right eye because of walking with husband and dog one sunny weekend afternoon and taking a spill on the very crosswalk I created. We are enrolled in health insurance but have no proof of it so no-one will see me. Pretty soon I won’t be able to see them.

Luckily my husband has a temporary international health policy for his journey. I don’t want to lose my husband, our family, our dear Zoe (the dog). No good deeds go undone. I need to do some research, pay some bills and finish our taxes. I don’t always win, but I do make things right. I don’t like losing and my husband says I even find my way through side streets to get around traffic. I do. Cheers! Dee

ps Love you, Dad! I miss you and hope you’re doing well.

 

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Posted in Editorial, Family, Travel

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Fires

Posted on April 9, 2016 | Leave a comment

I used to be all about ideas. Now all I do is put out fires.

How do we move this forward? How can we make this work?

Now it’s retirement, cooking dinner and getting the dog her shots. Fires include taxes, insurance, bills. Cleaning out the frig and taking out the trash. Picking up dog poop.

Mom said something persuasive when I wanted to become a cheerleader in my early teens. She asked “why cheer when you can do a sport?” She was right. I got into track (I was awful but got the nice lady in the office to say we came in second, instead of losing). Then gymnastics. I became the head of our team at a different school.

The problem was that I was also in music (two classes), dance et al.

I was a horrible gymnast but a great leader. Oh, I’ve stories. Thank you Olga Korbut! I actually ran into Mary Lou Retton in an elevator across from Disneyland. She was still so tiny.

I worked for many years then married. Always a leader, my father taught me well. Now I lead a dog. Sometimes another dog if someone needs us. I volunteer for politics sometimes. Our volunteer center has no use for me. Cast to the sidelines of life, I am glad that my husband still believes in me. Dee

 

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My Framer

Posted on April 7, 2016 | 1 comment

Ms. K has consorted with me several years to get important things framed. Today I’d like to share with her a print, Japanese block print from the artist who was the first in the 1700’s to do full color wood block prints.

Why do I have this print? I took care of a neighbor’s dog.

There is a frame I was unsure about. It was an idea I had, the usual three a.m. idea to re-frame a theater by revitalizing its’ youth program. I ran it by them and they didn’t like it but they were making $64 for three days and I decided to buy out the theater. I got a sponsor who wrote a check immediately.

They said they’d lose money. OK, $64 vs. $2,400 plus press attention. Gimme a break. Donors paid for all the tickets and we only asked for snacks for orphans. We did a Christmas tree with volunteer “gingerbread” ornaments made from grocery bags, a Menorah (donor, electric, don’t yell fire in a theater) and an homage to other religions.

It was The Firebird and The Christmas Roses. It was beautiful, I saw it twice. And I had to load up my Jeep and take all the gifts to the orphanage.

The youth coach got to keep his job. I got listed top of the bill as “coordinator.” All the kids signed this bill for me and I found it a couple years ago.

My framer and I consulted on it and for the first time she said she’d surprise me. It was the holidays back then so the playbill was all red and green.

It took two years but it goes over the old oak dresser my mother gave me, and with the red/green paisley duvet cover she gave as well, God bless her.

And what did my framer do? Make it look like a theater poster on a wall in NYC.  I love it. Kids for Kids was one of the greatest projects in my life and now I’ve ornaments and signatures of those present. That is what one remembers in life.

In addition to sponsorship a good friend donated in memory of her lost children, I love you Mrs.L. Dee

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Posted in Editorial

She Sleeps

Posted on April 7, 2016 | Leave a comment

Probably 20 hours per day which is why she is so gorgeous at 84 in “people years.” People think she’s a pup because she’s so happy and energetic.

Zoe’s worried about me so will probably be a foot away from me any moment now in my office. She never stays this close. Worries about the food wench leaving earth must be there.

All I want is proof of health insurance we paid for, they haven’t cashed the check or given the broker a number or temporary cards. My husband leaves overseas tomorrow and he has a scan of a temporary international insurance policy that we purchased outside of health insurance. I asked him to print it and take it with him because he cannot use his new iPhone for anything over there.

We went through this health insurance debacle last month where we talked to the folks, submitted the information and we had to cancel the check because this employer would not answer our phone calls or cash our check or give us the insurance we agreed on.

I’m getting tired of trying to get COBRA or private insurance. The broker says they’re working on it but it’s too late to even FedEx my husband a temporary insurance card.

Zoe jumped off the bed (her front quarters are good, I have to “Otis”her back up in a moment.) She is a foot away from me again. Husband’s gone so she has to herd someone. That would be me.

This new ACA health insurance deal is being manipulated by insurance companies to gain health insurance for people who need federal assistance with payments, not for the private market. I couldn’t get anyone at a major company we’ve been with to answer the phone. It’s not surprising as that’s what they always do. Profits, no service. Par for the course. Hey, I worked insurance law back in the day. “Will Increase Premiums” was all they said. But we did get Well Baby Care done even with that caveat and it has helped families, and insurance companies, over many years.

Let’s fix it, not let things lie. Let Zoe go back and get her beauty sleep. I’m worried about things. She’s worried about me and we both care about my husband, the fun guy. I’m only the disciplinarian and food wench. Dee

 

 

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Posted in Editorial, Family, Zoe

Being “By”

Posted on April 6, 2016 | Leave a comment

Aunt L used those words but now after many years I know what they mean. No dictionary over the downstairs “loo” taught me this. Yes, when I emerged I had to define a word, spell it and use it in a sentence.

When my husband is home he’s always by, and when our Zoe knows I’m in danger she’s a foot away. She’s by.

Husband is away. Zoe’s “by” right behind my desk chair. She’s worried about me.

She is such an intuitive dog that should have been allowed as a therapy dog. She is so great with adults, kids, other dogs, even cats. Why dis-allowed? She eats raw food. She can’t even work in a hospice because she eats raw food. It’s the only thing she’ll eat. I won’t change it.

She’s taking care of me now. I love her and so do our neighbors’ grandkids. When they visit they knock on the door and tire this  84  (people years) year old pup out. I love them for their interest and enthusiasm. And they each got a trophy in soccer this year. Yea!

We love each other and love life, whatever comes our way. As I “Otis” Zoe to the bed each night, we’re by, always. Cheers from D&Z my hipless wonder dog

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Posted in Editorial, Zoe

What Goes Around

Posted on March 31, 2016 | Leave a comment

comes around. My mother never liked me, from the day I was conceived. The eldest child meant back in the day that she had to stick around and wear dresses, high hair and heels to vacuum. That meant no college until I went to college, of course she was Summa Cum Laude and I was Dean’s List with a 3.8.

Before hospice care at which all four of us were there along with my husband, Mom asked me to do something about tissue.

I arranged for her eye tissue to be donated after her death at her request. My siblings fought me on this again, as they did her priest for Last Rites, but she asked me to do this for her. They took her body just under the time wire and were able to gain tissue before she was removed from their facility and cremated.

I’m losing eye tissue now, Mom, due to a fall on the pavement last year. Thanks for donating yours and following my lead and caring for therapy dogs. Cheers! Dee

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Posted in Editorial, Family