As Sung to a Bit of Puff The Magic Dragon…
We ordered toilet paper
By 8 p.m. was due
Now we’re on the last roll
What else can we do
We do use Amazon
And most times they come through
In this case we are perturbed
Delivery didn’t do
Should we be suing Amazon
And their drivers too?
Or just stop using them
And just say P. U.
We get paper towels
And tissues aways too
Amazon’s been good to us
And we really like you
You send us books and clothing
And everything you do
Looks professional but
Delivery is overdue
Amazon now has its own truck service. Problem is, they don’t know addresses or where to park.
We buy a lot from Amazon because my husband is on the road for business and we don’t wish to spend weekends out shopping.
Yesterday a new driver was here with a package for a sister address. I was in the lobby awaiting the “manager” and reading the newspapers. He asked where the sister address was located. I told him.
He went to walk out the door and I said, “but all their packages get delivered here.” He told me he’d have to talk to the manager on that issue. I said I’d been here longer than the manager and I know all the packages are kept here in a secure room.
She walked in, with her fabulous outfit and jewelry and simply said “what she said.” How I love my little “sister,” yes, the manager.
If Amazonliness is near to Godliness, heaven forbid you don’t give GPS to your drivers or have them know the neighborhoods they serve. Perhaps you can hire the USPS to give them a primer.
If Amazon wants to give us gift certificates or something for our birthdays we’re six weeks apart, I’m Scorpio and she is a Sagittarius. I think we work well together, and between us we kept him from another drive or two, and a pricy parking ticket. We’ll both be of a certain age and she always looks better than me and it’s not just that I’m in dog walking clothes. We both look good in jewel tones. Cheerily, Dee
Posted in Editorial
Tagged amazon, God
Let’s put it this way. Their www site doesn’t help with anything. I’ve been scammed by an Amazon seller who lied to Amazon that my purchase price has been sent back to us. I’ve been trying to get in touch for mail fraud but no one will answer the phone.
I’ve had to plug in my phone and headset because they were both dying on the wait for USPS to answer the phone. I am calling because their priority mail process failed. I couldn’t print the label except a 1/2 inch sliver of it. I’m not going to keep paying $11.30 every time I try to print out a darn label for a little package for family.
The fraud deals with a seller taking my money for a book, calling USPS and getting a tracking number, and never taking it to his/her local post office. It’s been supposedly sitting there since December 23. Amazon never showed it in transit. I am not allowed to download USPS tracking software because my computer is manufactured by Apple.
The seller says he/she refunded my account. Nothing shows two months back. I think they trick USPS, Amazon and cheat customers by phoning in and getting tracking numbers prior to USPS receiving the items for shipping. Then customers get upset with USPS or Amazon and forget that the seller cheated them in the first place.
Watch your online purchases. Neither Amazon nor USPS will help me (it’s been about five hours over the last few days with USPS, luckily I can write as I listen to their drivel on hold) and all Amazon says is that the purchase price from the seller for this out-of-print book has been refunded. It has not. Dee
Yes, a capon. I put it right in the freezer, in which I carved space today. I don’t know its weight but it should be between 7-9 lbs. I’ll take it to the frig on the 23rd to thaw.
I’m changing the menu. Too much bread. I remember holiday meals when everything had bread as a component and I don’t want my guests to fill up on carbs.
I’ll start with my marinated Kalamata olives and a Greek/Italian cheese plate with grapes and other fruit my heart goes pitter-pat for at the store.
It’ll be Mom’s basic stuffing, with the liver. No apple-sausage dressing. The gratin stays the same but I’ll add either a sauteed spinach or arugula.
I have to keep the cheddar-bacon biscuits in memory of Jane Grigson. Having never made them before I hope I can do them well and just place them on the table to nosh.
Mashed potatoes are still on the list but I may add additional root vegetables to the puree. Note: do not ever place rutabagas through a ricer. They will break your fingers, wrists and perhaps elbows.
I cannot find mincemeat to save my life, even Amazon can only have it to me by February at the earliest. Interesting I wrote here about it years ago and was contacted by someone who desperately needed mincemeat for tarts to bring to his father’s for Christmas.
Who was that person? My own brother. He’d never seen my blog and was taking mincemeat to Dad’s for Christmas. I ordered two large jars from Amazon as a gift and sent them directly to Dad’s. Oh, I also gave him Mom’s pie dough recipe which my mother-in-law also uses.
What are we doing for dessert this year? In the spirit of the great US of A and Europe I’m creating a fig and ricotta salata mini-turnover, plus a fruit dish, probably with lemon curd (I found some today) and whipped cream or Greek yogurt.
What can I say? This menu is a work in progress. Next year I may even try prime rib and Yorkshire pudding…. Permit me to tackle the capon first. Cheers! Dee
I do have nightmares from time to time, but daymares are few. One is with Sandra Lee talking about her new “novel” on the Today show.
We all know she’s hanging out at the Governor’s mansion in NY with Andrew Cuomo. I know because I used to live right across the street when his father was in office.
What you don’t know is that a Houston crew set up for a photo shoot a few years ago and asked her to pick up the slotted spoon. There was a solid and a slotted spoon beside her and she didn’t even know what a slotted spoon looked like.
Yes, we want this woman to tell us how to cook out of cans and frozen stuff. Then write a thinly veiled “novel” of her life to date. Sorry Amazon, you can count me out for that order. Free shipping? No thanks. Cheers and cook real stuff, Dee
As the wind swirls and screeches around us and the snow blurs the streets, I think that Sunday is the Academy Awards. I always love watching them, especially having girlfriends over beforehand for a cocktail before dinner while dissing the entire red carpet. Of course we are watching it, duh.
Looking at a ballot, I’m thinking “why don’t I know any of these movies?” The answer is that we spent time moving and have not seen a movie in the past year. There, it’s said. We’re movie buffs. We usually go to the movies nearly every weekend.
What has changed? Weather? New environment. Summer movies, we generally avoid the Bruckheimer Blockbuster. Living downtown where there are smaller venues and having to go out to the suburbs to see something new.
Hey, I can go see Rocky Horror Picture Show up the street, I just don’t stay up that late anymore.
The Oscars will be interesting to me because they may give insight into what films to see on Netflix or Amazon Prime next year. Aye, there’s the rub. No, we don’t have a 60″ flat screen projection HD thingie. You go, Hugh Jackman! Dee