Tag Archives: toilet paper



As Sung to a Bit of Puff The Magic Dragon…

We ordered toilet paper

By 8 p.m. was due

Now we’re on the last roll

What else can we do


We do use Amazon

And most times they come through

In this case we are perturbed

Delivery didn’t do


Should we be suing Amazon

And their drivers too?

Or just stop using them

And just say P. U.


We get paper towels

And tissues aways too

Amazon’s been good to us

And we really like you


You send us books and clothing

And everything you do

Looks professional but

Delivery is overdue



Let’s see. My mother taught me to always write a thank-you note, even in crayon. She said to only use two squares of toilet paper for #1 and a maximum of five for #2. Never try to serve her breakfast in bed, even on Mothers’ Day.

Many years ago my brother was writing his holiday thank you notes and he had our mother place the destination, return address and stamp and mailed it to her sister, our dear Aunt. He didn’t place a note in it. The envelope was empty. She tells the story years later. He was, is, a rebel.

Dad taught me to believe in myself, that I could be anything I wanted to be, how to lick an ice cream cone (I’m the eldest) and drink through a straw. All good things. And he got really mad at me for using Brillo to take the tar off the paint on his bright red Buick coupe, the first new car he ever had.

Oh, Mom said never to call anyone after 9:00 pm. There’s a time difference between me and my brother and I called him tonight at 9:02 his time and immediately apologized and asked if it’s too late. He asked, “too late for what?” I told him that’s what Mom taught me and he replied, “me, too.”

If each of us four “kids” wrote a story about our childhood memories they’d be very different. We kind of had two families, and I missed the growing-up phase of the two younger siblings because I was away at college. My brother and I remain closest. Closest age sibling and I used to hide him in the basement and not seek. Mean, I know, but on a 14 hour car trip he’d sit in the back of our station wagon and drum on the suitcases. Yes, that was before seat belt laws. And he’d get up and play his trumpet in the hallway at six in the morning. All to avoid practice as we all yelled “SHUT UP!!!” Ah, memories. Dee


I never said that as my husband will not eat them. He’d rather say “let’s go out.” But his mother doesn’t do that.

It is a matter of making leftovers different and tasty. You’ll never make what I did this evening because when I think we may be moving I make full use of frig and pantry and yours will not be the same.

No meat, I just made fettuccine Alfredo in a 2 tbsp measure of cream, butter and parm, and added the same amount of fresh chimichurri with parsley, lemon, garlic and jalapeno. Tyler Florence, gaucho steak + chimichurri at foodnetwork.com

Shopping at home is a necessity and a duty. My husband stocks us in paper goods so there is always an extra roll of toilet paper or paper towels, tissues as well. I stock us in food and always have a full pantry of pasta, flour, herbs and spices and baking stuff.

When the thought of moving or being without a job is pre-eminent I work through the frig and pantry. My family moved enough as a kid, and I learned to do it much better with a physicist husband. Uniform boxes, all the best equipment (I’m a whiz with a well-worn professional moving tape dispenser and box cutter) and the dog already has her 4″ orthopedic bed in the back of my SUV.

We do what we can with what we have. My frig has many possibilities but my pantry can expand it tenfold. I used to subscribe to a delivery service that gave us milk, juice, bacon, et al. I got the service for their apple juice and a $15 surprise package that would test my culinary skills seasonally.

Last week my dog received a wooden puzzle in which her owner places treats. There are six pegs and three sliding wooden pieces. She’s played it six times and can now do it in a minute. That’s like me and the surprise culinary package. It’s fun. Cooking for you and your family/friends should be fun. Dee