Amazon

I am amazed at what we can get there. And of course we’re Prime so get free shipping. We get all our paper products online. Unfortunately my husband just ordered about 100 sticky spider traps with attractant that stinks. I figured if I left it inside it would invite every spider in the neighborhood so wrapped in a tall kitchen bag and left it out in the cold.

There is one thing I can not order on Amazon or find at any specialty store. Bright, sensitive, inquisitive kids who call on my dog Zoe in their pajamas.

When you ask a kid what he/she learned in school today and they say “nothing” that’s a kick in the gut, also wasted taxpayer dollars. Yes, as these smart kids grow older they’ll probably have a dog of their own and lose their fascination with Zoe. Now they call on her every visit to their grandparents. Last time we made graham cracker, vanilla Greek yogurt and berry parfaits for their whole family.

Between playing ball, throwing Zoe’s “Precious” and making her do tricks for treats, they talked to me about school. A is liking math and doing multiplication. C is learning about clocks and time and looked at the time in the kitchen and told me the time in California where my husband was probably in the shower preparing to go to work.

I sent a note and Spring flowers to the family as there was a death and a funeral, a sad reason for a visit.

A said she asked questions about the funeral. That’s a good thing. I asked where I could get two like their grandkids, no deal, not on Amazon or anywhere. I’ll have to settle for visits in pajamas several times per year. I love being “Aunt Dee.” To children and dogs alike, Dee

Respect

When you go to the grocery store, show some respect. They are doing you a service and are not paid well to do so.

Congratulations! Your parents put you through college. You will respect your colleagues and professors as you graduate from an Ivy League University, and go to Europe for the Grand Tour.

I had to pay for much of my own college but when I went out to a Greek sandwich place ten years ago I thanked him in Greek and he responded parakalo. I said thank you, and he responded “you’re welcome.”

Learn where you’re going. At least learn please, thank you, excuse me, where is the nearest bathroom. When is the next boat/train/plane. And learn the food in your studies so you’ll know a Greek, Italian or other menu. Also learn good morning, good evening and good night. Kalimera, Kalispera, Kalinichta. Boun Giorno, Buona Sera, Buona Notte. Now I will have to ask you to excuse me, permesso, as Zoe isn’t sleeping as soundly as I’d like. Cheers and have a good night, Dee

ps When you get to know owners/waiters at an Italian place, when you arrive for dinner it’s OK to just say Sera. Don’t ask me to pronounce it. It’s like Sarah but heavy on the first like “say.”Don’t ever touch the fruit or veg at markets in Italy. The purveyors will choose the best for you. I had the best pear of my life over there. Perhaps I should name my book about it, as did Proust over madeleins.D

Missing

I miss my husband who has been away from home for nearly two weeks. Next time he’ll be going overseas for nearly a month. Yes, we have to pre-pay all flights and hotels so he can place himself in coach for 20 hours. He is a very tall guy so that will be a burden in itself.

Of course I miss him but understand his obligations. Our old dog Zoe does not. We’ve a small place with a great view and our dog has no hips. Welcome to Otis. Yes, I am the elevator operator to the bed. She will stay with anyone on the bed. She’s a herder. If only I am here, she is by my side. Please don’t tell anyone she was afraid of the baby goats. I knew they needed strong female names so named them Eleanor (Roosevelt) and Rosa (Parks). It seemed to fit their personalities, not their color.

If I crawl out of bed and come into our office to write she’s by me in two minutes. If I go into the kitchen to check the time she’s there. Then I have to “Otis” all over again.

What happens is what happens. My husband worked for this company for nearly a year away from us and Zoe got used to it. She’ll get used to it again and hopefully not herd me everywhere. It’s good to be loved and protected but I check the locks and do not need “snoopervision” every moment of every day.

Zoe’s favorite kids stopped by in their pajamas to see her this morning before dressing for a funeral for their great grandmother. Zoe did tricks for them until grandpa showed up with breakfast. The love is mutual and these are two great kids. If Zoe’s still alive when they are in their teens, she will miss them when they lose interest. She knows when they’re here and looks out for them. With love of family and friends, Dee

Look at the Goal

When you’re a gymnast, you put a 2×4 in the back yard and practice on it. Don’t look at your feet. Look at the end, your goal. Focus.

That’s what I’m trying to ask my only remaining Aunt to do, teacher L, to re-achieve balance after being hospitalized.

Look toward the future, Aunt L. Don’t look at your feet. Of course your sisters want to see you, my mother and godmother are looking down at you now. No, they don’t want to see you yet. Yes, they told me. Give it up to physical therapy and you’ll be around your kitchen and for the soup kitchen for a long time.

I also talked to my priests today, Fr. John and Fr. Cap. They’ll be there to welcome you but not today, tomorrow or anytime soon. I think they had a baseball game to attend. Apparently Shoeless Joe is playing for the White Socks.

Look at your goal, Aunt L. It’s more than the end of a beam. With love, trust, honor and integrity, Dee

ps I think I looked up all those words in your dictionary but learned them from you and our grand, extended family. d

A Priest

Yes, another. And I forgot his name and even the Friary does not have it.

He taught me Gerontology, the study of older folks, and the five phases one goes through when a loved one dies. Of course it was the first Kubler-Ross edition.

As we age, hopefully we become more wise. My grade school, a few high school and college teachers and dear family combined in a way that coalesced and made me wise. I still can not attend a funeral without crying.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light. So said a much better writer than I, Dylan Thomas. I’ll be reciting my own Haiku at the food court in the ABC mall tomorrow at eleven. Thank you for reading. Dee

ps This goes out to one mentor who has passed. Led, you better be there when I arrive. It’s OK if you play Shattered, Rolling Stones,three times.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

It is young visitors A and C who come to call on Zoe, our old dog. They had her do a couple of tricks then grandpa showed up with breakfast. They disappeared next door in their PJ’s. So cute. I got hugs. So did Zoe.

Zoe’s friends are in from another state for a sad occasion, their great grandmother passed away yesterday. The funeral is today. I don’t know what they know about death or funerals but hope they ask a few questions. These rituals have always been a mystery to me.

Zoe has offered, if events go long, to play with the kids. I said OK as long as I can “snoopervise.” Too bad my husband is not here, he’s made the kids balloon animals with great grandma in attendance.

Recently I wrote about a childhood neighbor who asked “what are you?” A six year old girl, a student, “no, what ARE you?” I didn’t even think of it. I was Catholic. She was Protestant. We came to that situation with armed guards, horses, SWAT teams when a soccer match was on in Scotland. Rangers vs. Celtics. They had a parade that marched below our windows and I think every police officer in Scotland was there to make sure there was not a ruckus. Ask Gordon Ramsay.

A and C’s family are Jewish. I looked up information, and the florist did as well and said that if this is the location where the family is sitting shiva it is not appropriate to send flowers. While there’s a mezzuzah on the door frame I do know that they’re reform and wanted to give this lapsed Catholic’s condolences. K saved Zoe’s life, it was the least I could do.

Yesterday I went to a great flower store and even though it was not 50% off Friday I brought my own vase and picked up a few spring blooms. I’d heard the reception would not be here but at the nursing home. When I got home there were flowers from great grandpa so I felt OK to leave them across the hall.

At my age, having two kids under ten years old knock on our door to visit our 12 year-old dog is fantastic. They gave their Aunt Dee a hug and put Zoe through her paces. She was so excited after our walk she asked for Precious, her only toy, and gleefully squeaked it. She’s now possessing it in her sleep, happy that her friends have returned for a day.

Death and dying are universal things. How we go about ritualizing them is personal. I spent an entire week halfway across the country with my mother eight years ago. She said these words and these only, to me. “Get me some water, please.” My gift to her after she died was to have her body removed and use her eye tissue to help another. My family fought me all the way but that’s what she wanted before cremation.

In the end, we do what we need to do. She had walked the breeding seeing eye dogs for a decade. Dee

Swimsuit Edition: Dogs

This is the Westminster challenge, where they groom dogs and show them, then say that they are also “good family dogs.” How many city folk do you know that have sheep? How about cattle which our family has. Zoe played with baby lambs once on the farm then ran from them because they were rambunctious teens so I took her out of the goat pen. So much for being a herder.

Some hunters may want a birder but I’ve an Australian Shepherd mix that herds… me. Especially with food or laundry.

I saw one new Italian dog in the competition that is a digger, now trained to dig truffles. I doubt s/he could find a truffle around here but will always have nose to the ground. My dog looks around at her area from all sides but cannot see upwards to save her old life. Yes, she does sniff but only to do her business or chase squirrels. Don’t worry, she’ll never catch one!

I’m wondering why folks have and train and have handlers and groom dogs like crazy just to see what a breed could look like and what it was bred to do. Our 12 year-old dog has never retrieved a bird or killed a rat, ok, two mice in winter when they came out of the snow. My husband threw them over the fence for local wildlife as he knew I would not want to do five loads of laundry after she vomited the remains on our bed.

These dogs are bred for show, not work or families. Our Zoe is a real dog who herds us and keeps us company. She’s an Aussie mix we got at a shelter 12 years ago as a pup. Ours is a good family dog, even though she tries to get into her “magic room,” the kitchen, and serpentines in front of me with laundry.

She’s kind of a mascot around the community as she’s beta so most of the dogs love her and all the people know her name. That’s my kind of dog show. Let’s go for a walk, Zoe! Cheers from Dee

 

Spiders

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! My bete noire is insects. They’ve loved me all my life. Show me a bee, wasp, no see-um, gnat, mosquito or spider that doesn’t come to see me. We always had to protect out west against the spiders, bitten in my sleep by several nasty hoboes, but never came across a Recluse.

My new husband almost lost me when the no see-ums took up space in standing water. Now we keep all our windows and front door closed and sealed. Why? We live over an old railroad track that is now, gleefully, a hike and bike path. Wait, it not only has mosquitoes, but rapists. Zoe and I don’t go there anymore, alone.

Said path has standing water 12 months per year with biting insects. I have been to every jurisdiction and no-one will do anything about it. The best lie I’ve been told was that these 4″ of fetid water is protected by the MMPA, the Marine Mammal Protection Act and cannot be messed with, I replied that I’ve never seen a porpoise or blue whale in 4″ of water, off a lake.

So here I am getting spider bites. They hurt and take a while to heal. My husband is away for a few days so decided to get me probably 100 sticky spider traps. With attractant. They smell like a stink spiders may enjoy. I took the entire package, wrapped it in a tall kitchen bag and placed it out in the cold on our balcony and shut the sealed door.

Thank you, dearest, for thinking of me. If I place that entire package in a closet I’ll be inviting every spider in the neighborhood to visit. Like a dog in heat with male visitors. (Don’t worry, I always spay our dogs and to date have only adopted two females, no males, since 1991). The trap package is staying outside in the snow until my husband returns. Then I’m giving some away, already have a few recipients. With love to my husband, cheers to you, Dee

Bereavement

I awakened the moment my mother died, two time zones earlier. Jumped up in bed, threw on some clothes, grabbed the dog’s leash and went out for a long walk on the trail. Two hours later, 6:30 a.m. my time, my sisters called to say she was gone. I said, I know. It was a long week for all at hospice.

I’ve neighbors now who have saved the life of my dog when her leash was caught in an elevator door. His mother died and will be laid to rest tomorrow in a Jewish ceremony.

Our neighbors’ grandkids have been part of our lives for several years. My husband makes them balloons and we’ve cooked together for their parents and grandparents. Sunday, Miss A came by with a picture she made for my husband, me and Zoe.

Today I heard of their loss and left a note offering for Zoe and I to take care of the kids for a while, whenever needed. I also learned that where one sits shiva flowers are not welcome. I placed a small bouquet of spring flowers outside their door and was grateful to know that the huge bouquet next to it was from his father so it was OK.

I picked spring flowers. A white spider chrysanthemum. A strange fluffy green thing that is a relative to that species. Daisies, white and yellow, and a few greens. It looks lovely for spring which I hope will cheer them somewhat and me as well, as the snow is flying out there, who knows when it will end. May?

The grandkids, when they visit, stand outside our door and whisper dog Zoe’s name, louder and louder until she barks and I answer the door. They just want to play. They play ball in the hall or go for a walk taking turns with Zoe’s leash. It’s all with parental OK and perhaps grandparental supervision from K.

They are a lovely family and I mourn their loss and maybe I can make them a lasagne. I think that’s what I made for them the day they moved in. No, it was spaghetti and meatballs. I remember.

Again, K saved Zoe’s life, she was nearly strangled. I took the elevator upstairs to see my dead dog. Instead she was standing with K, on leash, happy to see her mom and food wench. God bless her for saving Zoe’s life. Dee

ps Miss A’s picture was of a pirate octopus. What are they teaching kids in school these days? I hope she stays away from pirates else her parents will have fits about her dating in ten years!

Doors

Yes, they can open and close and perhaps a window could open for you as well. It’s happened for me.

The first doors I remember were on a home I moved into at age eight. They were solid wood Dutch doors painted red. I could release a peg and open the top, with diamond windows, let in air and see the view. That home had 60 casement windows operated by crank, and a few “picture windows” that were a standard size. I’d love to see that home again.

The Dutch doors gave me a window to see the outdoors when I was eight and my mother didn’t want me to go outside. My kindergarten class was held in an historic home with Victorian windows but only a few unremarkable doors.

The door to my 2nd floor classroom was always a challenge until my dear teacher made me sit up front and then go to the back with another student to read 4th and 5th grade literature as all the other students didn’t know how to read so they began teaching phonics. Steven’s and my parents objected to phonics as I was already reading Anne Frank’s diary and Death Be Not Proud at home. Now there’s an open door.

A closed door was omnipresent when I went to junior and senior high school at a racist school that did not teach. When I moved back north I had remedial classes I passed with honors and earned a small stipend for college.

Ah, the doors in high school. My last two years I’d run home (it was open campus), hop into the pool then go back to class, and spend hours in the summer evenings doing gymnastics with male and female colleagues. We learned so much from each other, being separated in training every day in school. I used to use the 4′ wrestling mat to try flips. What a stinky room, whew! I learned my best trick on the bars there and that we girls didn’t get strength training. I was the team captain and we had to know what the guys were learning.

To the doors of knowledge. Two professors put it all together me starting sophomore year. I got history through art and sociology and, yes, history and religion. My dear profs are gone now. I kept in touch with one for many years.

The porta clausa is an image found in some artistic works by historic artists. It means that the door was closed and Mary was visited by an angel and told of her mission to bear a son. I did a study of annunciations and tried to visit many. My favorites are Donatello’s in Santa Croce and Fra Angelico’s at San Marco, both in Florence.

Work after college opened some doors. I worked in government, as a lobbyist, in a couple of restaurants in the kitchen, consultant to non-profit organizations and as a 20 year volunteer.

That door was opened when I decided to volunteer in the memory of my brother and sister’s dog. That door was closed. I opened another by stepping in and doing everything from kennels, cattery, public relations. I sat by one dog’s side even with me in a neck brace, for a year. She was afraid of men (abused by a deputy sheriff) and kids (stoned in the back yard of said sheriff).

It was one of the first of US no-kill shelters but a fellow volunteer told me they had a meeting to put her down. The adoptions chief said wait a week. Next day I had her home, for ten years. She and my old cat, also a rescue, slept in the same position three feet away. My young cat moved in at nine weeks, a rescue from the same organization, in bed with the dog and stayed there for a year.

My dog Chani opened a door for me and many others, and the neighborhood planted a tree that I can now see on Google Earth, for her, in 2001. Another rescue needed us at five weeks of age and that is our Zoe. She grew her own hips and is the happiest dog, after 20 years of volunteering, I’ve ever met. She’s sleeping behind my chair and taking good care of me. If there were two open doors I love most today, they are my dear husband and dog.

Cheers! Dee