Strange Dream

Yesterday I was awake from 4 a.m. to nearly 11 p.m. The dog was sick (for whatever reason, it only happens once a year) and I gave her two baths, once a rinse then a bath. Laundry ensues, of course.

Today I had a nightmare about taking her out, calling out for my husband (who is out of town). Anyway, I awakened mid-dream not knowing where I was, what time it was and where is my husband? And where’s our dog?

UBD. That’s code for Under-Bed Dog. She now goes underneath the bed by my pillow to get out of the sun and get her beauty sleep while making sure I can’t leave the house without her knowledge. Yes, she is a herder.

I was so worried about her yesterday as she felt bad. She got no dinner so her tummy would resolve itself. Zoe scarfed down a dog food breakfast this morning and is sleeping on the carpet next to my desk.

Zoe is a good thing in our lives. She’s spoiled rotten but won’t sit on a lap or be petted. She just wants what my English teacher Aunt always said, being “by.” She needs to know where we (especially me the food wench) are without being near enough to touch us. I don’t know if I could ever have a “lap dog” after this. My first dog was 89 lbs. when she died. She was not a lap dog or a herder, she retrieved stuffed toys and balls, knew the sound of guests’ cars and would search her toy basket frantically for the right stuffed animal with which to greet the guest.

Will it be Clifford the Big Red Dog? Or a tiger or kitty or lobster. She never left the house without a ball, but one day she brought a huge teddy bear (flea market sale, fifty cents) to to the park. She was saying goodbye without my knowledge, and she died the next day. That bear is in my closet with her ashes in it under a red felt heart with lace and beading from a dear friend. Zoe crushes stuffed animals, tears them apart in a minute and gets the squeaker out. The stuffing is all over the place, of course. For 12 years she’s had an indestructible “precious.”

Chani was a challenge at first because she was abused but in the end everyone loved her. No dog would ever have Zoe’s unique, friendly personality. Even though we’ve had 12 years with her when she does something bad I always say “we’re going to bring you back to the pound” and I never mean it and she knows that. Yes, she’s stolen a pound of prime steak off the cutting board on the counter, and croissants from the top of the stove.

Guess what? I laughed, as we had to have her hips removed due to severe hip dysplasia and she grew her own. Two years later she could reach the counter and stove and steal our food. Now she’s over 12 years old and I have to “Otis” her to the bed at night. She can walk a good while but her front end is much stronger than the back. I’ve had a good life, great husband and over the years we still have Zoe but I had Chani, Nathan and Mickey (cats) and I like to think we all made each others’ lives better.

That was before Mick learned from my sister’s cat how to open and slam the kitchen cabinet 400 times to get me to make him breakfast in the middle of the night, or Nate sat his 14 lbs. directly on my bladder to make me go downstairs and feed him. Ah, well, it’s been a wonderful life. Dee

ps People we know want to get a dog. I think they lead great lives with long days and great profiles and potential. They didn’t ask about breed, I did. Then they asked me to pet-sit on a regular basis. That’s not a good sign. At a seminar years ago a new dog owner asked why his dog didn’t like him when he “only” put him in a crate for 12 hours straight per day. The trainer said “you don’t deserve a dog.” In another case he also said, famously, “a back yard dog is a dog without a home.”

 

International Affairs

How to get people to work together is the think. We live in the USA. I just wrote a post about a childhood incident.

I’d like to think that as we age we become more wise. I know I have but just learned something today about personalities.

My sister cut off her hair, tangled as a child, and I had darker hair. We were supposed to go on vacation at 4 a.m. and my parents pretended not to know where the hair knot was from, the scissors. She held out for a long time, so I confessed and we could get on the road.

She was pardoned for holding out, I was punished for lying. She had cut hair sticking up from her head that was many shades lighter than mine.

Internationally in a political debate, she is the zealot and I’m the UN. That’s what my parents counted on that day and now I know why I am who I am. What did the global tribunal do? Blame the UN. I don’t keep up with Afghanistan but someday before I die, please let skilled diplomats do their jobs. Or hire more skilled diplomats.

There has to be some neutral ground. Afghanistan, Pakistan, why are we there? Vietnam. My old dad was conscripted after the Korean war. He ended up striping roads then managing an Army symphony division around Europe.

I am and have always been the mediator. Take it from me. Dee

ps There will never be a move called The Mediator. The closest you’ll ever get is George Clooney in Michael Clayton. He was the fixer. D

Stories

According to our retired architect neighbor (we love him and his wife and he checks in on me every week when my husband is out of town) we are slated for a “petit bourguois” vacation in the fall. We ran into each other and he told me he was going to send an email to apologize. I called him a wise a** and we were even. We agreed, not that there was any offense taken on my part. We do get together to see the ironer on 12 every so often. I can’t see him from here.

We got our passport photos done today and need flight arrangements very soon. Shhhh, my husband and dog are sleeping.

***

Now on to plan and menu. I menu-plan on the fly for us, in advance for guests. He eats out all all week and likes comfort food at home, so tonight it’s spaghetti and my homemade meatballs, his favorite.

Lunch is chicken over pappardelle noodles with a walnut pesto or one might call it a chimichurri of my own design. I’ll let you know after I I make it.

Breakfast was supposed to be cheese omelets but he’s slept through that.

***

Sunday breakfast. As a kid we and Mom would go to Mass and come back to Dad, who was forced to say by a Priest he’d let us grow up Catholic, a Lutheran would make pancakes with bacon or sausage. Actually after age 8  he started before Mass with a milkshake. To this day, I love Dad for his love, breakfasts and milkshakes. We don’t see each other enough to cook together (he cooks and paints after age 75 and I’ve several of his Tuscan and Maori works framed).

***

Brown Hair

If one knows anything about fashion or style, one knows not to try to match the color blue. Contrast it with a scarf or shirt or something that will bring out your best facial features.

I was a little kid, the oldest sibling. We were going on vacation leaving at 4 a.m. the next morning. My younger sister twirled her hair and sucked her thumb, always.

When we were awakened to get dressed there was an issue. A hank of light brown hair with a knot in it was on the kitchen table, along with dull kitchen scissors. We were told we could not go on our vacation until someone confessed. My sister had a spike of hair sticking up from her head and had light brown hair. After an hour I confessed so we could get on our way.

My sister was pardoned for not saying she did it and I was punished for lying. Teutonic justice. Yes, that’s where I’ll be for Dad’s 85th. Don’t worry, we have 24/7 security and the dog will be there to bark at anyone at the door. And now we have two other security agents, H and B, who like their Aunt Dee and will keep us safe.

I will have my barber cut my hair. We’re having a birthday for Bob so why not have a bob? Eight inches were cut off the day after my eye surgery, and I will not leave any in a knot on our kitchen table. And I’m a cook, and would never have dull scissors and would never use them for hair.

I believe my parents didn’t know what to do, and Mom said “punish Dee.” They knew my sister would not budge, waited for me to moderate the situation and as punishment for lying I think I couldn’t go swimming for 24 hours, while I watched my sister relish in doing so.

We all have stories. Tell them to your family and dear friends.  Cheers, Dee

One Day at a Thyme

One thyme plant came back! The other didn’t.

Sun, shade, filtered sun, clouds. If the herbs were in their natural environment, the ground, I could deal with it. I am God here and decide, because we no longer have my community garden, what rain to put in and when to dry out. It is a delicate balance.

When I talk to my dear father-in-law who has a cattle ranch in Texas, he always says there’s a dearth of rain or a flood, too little or too much.

It’s been 14 years but I finally get it. He’s running cattle on hundreds of acres and knows what to do, including getting calves across the river they’re closing (see PBS for  a show on Beau d’Arc Creek, he’s in it).

I can’t manage three indoor herb pots water-wise. I love going to Thanksgiving every year with my husband’s folks and his mother and I do cooking marathons and she always has some fresh herbs from her garden. Unless J, on the tractor, has accidentally sprayed them with weed repellent.

Let’s face it. I’m not good with plants. But now I do buy my husband flowers every week. I can’t figure out how to insert a photo in this new format so I’ll just say white Hydrangeas and Allium (purple garlic flowers that do not smell). I wanted thistles but they didn’t go with my arrangement. Cheers! Shhhh, let them sleep (husband and dog) as it’s nearly 7 a.m. and at least the dog wants to get up, go out and be fed. Dee

 

Ending Thyme

I’m good at it. First I drown it, then I dry it out. Both have wilted.

Years ago I created a community garden here and the pots are out but there are no plants. It’s such a short growing season I came over every week to keep the cilantro, parsley, thyme, rosemary, chives et al from bolting and going to seed. Chives are perennials so they should be kept around.

With no outdoor herb garden to “shop and chop” in, I had to do it myself. The thyme is dead. I’ve also heard it’s difficult to grow lavender. Basil, cilantro, flat leaf parsley, rosemary and some sage still look OK. Indoor growing, lots of cold days.

Some look to save time, I look to save thyme. Both, actually. Dee

Test Results: Negative

That’s always a good thing to hear when you’re ruling things out. Yesterday our dog Zoe went through a number of tests and shots and is still sleeping it off. She was negative for heartworm, intestinal worms, fleas, ticks, you name it. She got her annual panel of shots and after we got the results, heartworm medication/treat. Ivermectin is so tasty. As we both age, it takes longer to bounce back so she’s been sleeping. Yesterday, for an annual exam and all these procedures it cost us $219.00. We can’t have doggie health insurance because Zoe has no hips (she walks fine, just can’t jump up to the bed) but we consider this part of the cost of having a dog, that and food, love and treats.

I  was denied one cent of coverage by our new health insurance company while my eye was bleeding profusely. The hospital completely misdiagnosed my condition, I went to an eye specialist after I stopped bleeding over the weekend and I had a large growth, surgery, multiple eye exams, biopsy, pathology lab and finally two weeks later the words “benign and healed” happened. Test results: negative. Phew! But we’re not out of the woods yet.

None of this happened in the ER. They didn’t care about my eye and what was wrong with it. They are going to charge me $9,000.00 and insurance will not pick up a cent of it. Apparently an eye gushing blood is not a danger to “life and limb” so because I couldn’t see to find  documentation or drive because of all the paper towels on my face to stem the blood, a kind neighbor drove me to the ER. My health insurance refused to allow a bleeding patient one cent on the insurance as it was not “life and limb.”

Oh,  am going to fight this denial with everything in my being. $219 for the dog is nothing. $9K for an unnecessary CT scan, a few bandages and a cursory vision test by a nurse are not worth that in my book. The insurance company won’t deal with them, or me. I haven’t gotten a bill yet but today called several phones and finally got the whopping number.

Now I’m waiting for them to deny me the medical visits, surgery, biopsy and follow-up for what the ER failed to even look for. This is medical malpractice and insurance fraud. The postal carrier, a good guy my dog loves, knows me and will be sure I get the next denial promptly. I think it’s time to sue and change health care companies.

They messed with the wrong person, yes the former state insurance representative. Everybody knows me. More know and love my old dog. It’s been a trip living here but I think it’s time to go. Dee

 

 

Vision

In the beginning I looked for 1,000 readers/participants. Now I’m looking to quit at 100K. Yes, it’s been an un-monetized niche blog. It gives me joy to send you flowers from my heart,via my blog.

My eyes/glasses are still not right but I did something the other day in which you might have interest. I had framed a work of art, from the first artist in the world, 1700’s Japan, who created a full-color wood print. I took care of a neighbor’s dog while she was in Japan and she returned with this lovely print.

I chose the double mat pulling out the colors, and the frame with able assistance from my consultant K and it is gorgeous. But one must remember that the frame and the colors are only designed to showcase what is within. Our neighbor and her dog saw it the other day, while Mom was admiring the art, her dog and Zoe were mixing it up in a good way. Keep away is always a good game.

I could say they’re “fast friends” but the young speed hound would leave our old Zoe in the dust. But they do like to sleep together, on our bed. Trust.

People judge on skinny or fat, tall or short, black or white. When one looks at an historic wood block print, a painting Dad did at age 80 or the paintings I collected from an artist in Florence with an easel outside where we stayed, even photos I took from various trips they are gifts because how I framed them shows what’s on the inside.

Please try to see what is on the inside. A frame and matting are on the exterior only to draw attention to the art and what it says on the interior. Dee

Thinking Ahead

I made a difference in America’s sixth or seventh largest city, I haven’t checked the numbers of late.

Six years into the leash-free debate for dog owners who pay taxes to access local parks my dog died and I regretted every hour away from her that I spent arguing for her to be able to chase a ball in her local park.

I had to tell the kids, toddlers’ moms and fellow dog owners of my loss. It was terrifying but I had to do it.

The “enemy” was really two people, who had another two friends chip in to a debate in front of the City. My dog Chani died. They went against a memorial tree that had been donated to the City’s Foundation with all details as to type, size and location that were all determined by the City. We have our tree and watered it. Since then they’ve planted many more so I can barely find Chani’s on Google Earth.

Now the government is touting leash-free areas and while I didn’t make a difference in the early years, nineties, I did in the long term. I’ve a wonderful dog for 12 years, no legal leash-free areas in town. The circle of friends around a picnic table at four in the afternoon with all the widows and their precious dogs made for incredible friendships and some are still in touch years later.

Our volunteer work changed governments. Our team did it.

That’s the way it is, Dee

Poop

I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch but it has been due to our blog hosts. It’s also been a really bad month with health and death.

Our family has endured loss. I’ve an appointment with a vet next week and she wants poop from our dear old dog Zoe.  I need to know why, then when and how much if I agree to why.

Poop has always been the standard Dog Mom thing. Know what you give her/him to eat, know what comes out. Pick it up in a bag, tie it off and toss it into a bin.

Now I have to bring some, poop, that is. She’s been holding out on me a couple of days per week, because The Fun Guy is unavailable, I only stay with her, feed her, walk her but when he’s off on business she wants him. Same here as he’s lenient. Not even that, he’s eager to let her play off the leash and risk a ticket, court appearance and misdemeanor and losing his job forever. Zoe and I are joined at her non-hips, inseparable.

I know. I worked for leash-free areas for six years and my dog died while I went to nightly community meetings and regular City Council sessions. That demanded a lot of time, meeting with Council staff, collaborators and the enemy, four people that then added another four, my neighbors.

Fifteen years later I feel terrible that my dog didn’t get what she wanted, a leash-free park in our neighborhood. It’ not that she didn’t get it, it’s that I spent more time looking for that for her than I did with her. The priorities were not straight.

Older now, I cherish the times I had with her. She was abused by a deputy sheriff and was afraid of men (especially those in uniform or even a hat) and children.  In the years before she died, all the toddlers in the “tot lot” called out “CHANI” and ran out to pet her when we walked into the park. It was the opposite when we began.

I like to think that the wisdom my friends taught me, the politics, everything I did for my Chani went to good use. It always came back to one premise, if parents have expensive playground equipment paid for by our tax money, dog owners should share a piece of the park pie.

Dog owners without kids are already paying property taxes for schools and all the kids in the neighborhood so why not find a creative solution for people without back yards to let their dogs run free? Yes, six years and a dissertation I cannot find. It was brilliant, made the director of Park and Rec afraid of me and had one of the most powerful people there make me his co-head and VP of development on one park board.

It was severely dysfunctional as a Board of Trustees to I tried to change it, to no avail. I never mentioned or talked about the word dog in my two years there, only about our parks and how to raise awareness and funds.

The kind gents who put me in this situation and others were seeing if I could take the pressure in different venues at the same time. I wish they could do that now as I’m so much wiser over the years. At this time I could only mentor. It would be so difficult to have a recalcitrant student like me.

I spent six years trying to make it legal for my dog to chase a ball in her park. When she died 15 years ago the neighbors got together and bought a tree from the City’s Foundation in her memory. The eight city dog haters got together and banned the tree. It was a legal donation to the Foundation (I was VP) and Park and Rec had already determined type, size and location on their own to which we had all agreed, so the haters were placed aside for this battle. We held a tree-watering ceremony in her memory. There are so many trees that have been planted around it I can barely see it on Google Earth, much less put a cup of water on it myself or leave flowers as I’m many miles away.

Friends, family have taught me a lot about pressure, priorities, and when  to have your “sidearm” at the ready. Oh, there are no sidearms, everything in life is brains and politics. If your kids know how to fight with words, and have an education, they’ll be able to live their lives.

I got a good education throughout college. Some of my mentors were from there, two died recently. Be open and willing to learn, love your family and friends. Think of what the ones you love and loved taught you. Dee

ps And remind me to take Zoe’s poop to the vet!

Dedication

Love, help, just being there. Staying in for the long haul.

This week I’ve been bombarded by our state of record for our tax preparers not sending them our full tax returns and W-2’s from other states. We thought they had our full returns until last week until we were threatened and told we had a week and there were no extensions, no electronic filing, no fax, no FedEx, no UPS and do not use Priority Mail but you must use the US Postal Service only.

Due to requirements I’m forced to print out 100 pages of forms from three states (I assume they have their own and the 1040).

The irony is that neither I nor my husband ever made one cent in this state in the past year yet paid full employment taxes, and now they are auditing us to make sure we paid them enough for paying through the nose to live here while making money in other states.

My husband helped this evening  from 2,000 miles away by phone to put everything on a USB fob I can take to be copied tomorrow morning then find the post office (I send all bills online) and mail it.

I do have faith in and dedication to my husband. We’ve known each other nearly fifteen years and there is love, help, and just being there. He’s always there for me and our old dog Zoe. If he still has a cold, I’ve soup and tea.

His family had a dairy for 30 years, now a cattle ranch. Given the state we’re in, I’ll love the ones in which State they live, not necessarily the people who govern them here. I’m in for the long haul. You can find me at a crosswalk I got the city and county to agree on curb cuts to build, who painted it twice. State law is to stop for pedestrians. No-one stops.

Paint fades, is rarely re-done and no-one ever stops for an old lady and old dog. They beep the horn or run you over. That’s what state we live in. Here’s from a former dairyman’s daughter-in-law. Dee