Ladders

or getting a leg up on the competition. As an infant one cannot walk, but as soon as s/he can there’s a ladder.

I probably did not know the concept until my teens, but learned the reality soon thereafter. Think of our supposed “melting pot” of cultures. Each one that got in to our nation kicked down another culture to make their way in the world.

As a kid people talked about Wops and Micks and Polacks. They were friends and neighbors. I didn’t understand the terms of the diatribe because I didn’t know it was one, didn’t get the words and that I had to take a stand. I did, at age eight, in favor of a boy who was gay. I didn’t know it, nor about sex or gay. I just knew he was seen as “different.”

Did I climb the ladder and push anyone, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation off that ladder? NO. Job inequality? Yes, equal rights and pay. Do I fight for the rights of my family? Yes.

The question is if I keep a person from a different condition, let’s say someone with one parent who doesn’t have money for an education, and kick her off the ladder, NO, I would never do that. Not for being a citizen, voter, retired worker, perhaps I should call this blog Melting Pot Mom, but I still need to be Napping Dog Press! I have met so many wonderful people over the years, from everywhere. It’s been a lifetime of adventures.

My husband is still sleeping off a tough work week and long commute home. We have three days together, a treat for me and Zoe the dog.

One of the reasons husband and I have been together so long is that we do not believe in the ladder of age, color, anything. We believe in bootstraps. Education, jobs, belief in one’s abilities. We’ve never kicked down, we lift up. A happy July 4th to you, your family and friends. Dee

Teach Your Children

well, that was the song my tone deaf band sang at age 12, at a concert. Whenever I rose up to do harmony they came up with me. That was my only concert, even though in a huge school we did place second.

It’s after nine a.m. and the dog doesn’t know where to go so I’m thinking of taking her out, again. She loves sleeping on the bed but wants me now as well and I’ve been up for hours. My husband works on the other coast and is looking forward to a long weekend with us. Shhhh, sleep, dear.

I’d like to think the songs of Bob Dylan, CSNY, PPM, Joan Baez and others have made a different life for parents and children. I was too scared of Dylan at age 12 and I’ve only about 12 chords, never enough for Joan Baez even though I sing her music all the time. Dave Mason, I took up guitar again at age fifty and cannot play Joan Baez, I’m a beginner. One of the best musical virtual friends (now deceased) I have is Johnny Cash. I made fun of country/western music as a kid at age 12, just to be cool. A fool, I was.

Johnny Cash is one heck of a teacher even after he’s gone. When I was in private lessons I’d download free lyrics then unpack my mind and new guitar and make up chords to go with it. No primers, no music, or chords. I’d just hear in my mind, and do it.

It was time to quit private lessons as my teacher was rude to me, treating me like a kid, and when we sang a song together and he followed me to harmony he became angry, denigrating me by saying I had perfect pitch. It was American Pie and I did a riff at the end that he liked, practiced all week. He was impressed then did a turnaround.

I told him I never thought of it but Dad and all my music teachers said so. I think he had such talent on instruments that he taught his kids well, I had perfect pitch but nothing like his playing ability so as Dave Mason would say, we agreed to disagree. Dee

Dreams

I got up at four this morning. My husband actually got home by ten p.m. which is a miracle. At six in the morning the dog wanted to go out, walk, be fed and go back to bed.

She is a fan of sleeping atop our bed with anyone who is in it, my husband sleeping off a long week or flight, or me with flu and chicken broth. No, she only gets broth in her dish, after I’m done.

Of late I’ve been dreaming of family and good health. My husband spent 18 hours getting home last weekend to spend 24 hours with me and the dog, most of it snoring. This July 4 weekend we’ve a dinner, a couple of other things to do but it’s mostly down-time and he has three days!

I think he wants spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Too early to go to the store, but I can check out the pasta shelf in the pantry. How many tea towels and dog towels has he ruined with that sauce?

We’ve moved a few times and I know to use the pantry before we move it. If there are half-full or full spaghetti wrappers for which I use moving tape to seal, I will use them. It’s not as if we’re looking to move, it makes room on the shelves so I might make, when we get a new grill, Asian-inspired kebabs over marinated Udon noodles with perhaps marinated chicken, peppers, pineapple and onions. Radishes on the side? Perhaps cucumbers as well. We’ll see.

I’m set to make an English trifle for dinner on the 4th. Interesting that I learned on my own, not from Mom who switched from turkey Christmas to Prime Rib and Yorkshire Pudding with mincemeat tarts et al.

There’s the rub. I usually use pound cake, make whipped cream and top layers with various berries. Also lemon zest and juice. I was thinking of making a healthy one with angel food cake, low-fat vanilla Greek yogurt and berries. Yeah, I thought so too. Door #1 it is! Dee

Lunch Money

If we brought our own lunch we’d have PB&J or bologna and a piece of American cheese, I didn’t care for either.

It was an extravagance to have a red token for $.35 for a full meal of awful “swiss steak.” Then there was the green token, good for a cup of milk. I used to add a penny from my allowance to it to get the same amount of chocolate milk.

Not a mom, I don’t know what is happening with kids these days, especially those in households that cannot afford to keep them properly fed. We never went without food, it was a lunch box with a sandwich  and a two-cent token for milk, or a school lunch for one red and one green token for lunch and the milk. Plus one cent from my immense $.50 weekly allowance for chocolate milk.

Right now I’d love to remember my lunch boxes as I had many and they would be heirlooms now. I can’t think of any! Tell Corky it was too early for “Remains of the Day” lunch boxes and “My Dinner with Andre” action figures! As you wish, Dee

We Have it Easy

Our choice of five week-old pup we named Zoe, Greek for life, was a given. When she’s in trouble my husband says “we should have adopted the dumb one,” as she’s intuitive and smart.

He grew up with Border Collies and Shepherds on the ranch, to keep the dairy cows from being attacked. Zoe’s nearly 13 years old now and in good health. She was afraid of two baby female goats years ago, probably because I named them Eleanor (Roosevelt) and Rosa (Parks) for personality, not color.

Last night, every day, I marvel at Zoe. She is so good with kids (kids parents and grandparents set appointments to come to visit in summer), adults and big dogs, little dogs and survives pups who jump up on her. She’s not allowed to be a therapy dog, even at hospice, because she eats raw food.

I’m not looking to add to our family or replace Zoe but was wondering if I’ve a last pet in me and I think I do. I think about Standard Poodles, Portuguese Water Dogs or Wheaten Terriers that do not shed and do not have one or two undercoats that are like tumbling tumbleweeds.

A dog with wash ‘n wear quality would be near to my heart, as Zoe hates a hair dryer and combing/brushing out but loves my massage bath.

Zoe lives indoors. That was a problem 12 years ago when she met my in-laws. They started with a goat pen, no, dear husband, we won’t go. Then they settled for a dog crate they found and cleaned and placed in my husband’s old bedroom. Now she sleeps on the bed and cleans all the crumbs over our five-day Thanksgiving cook-fest and stands on my father-in-law’s perch on the sofa to watch him come back from feeding the cattle. He doesn’t acknowledge her so is dearly loved.

She got me up early for her quick walk and dinner, and is now in the the  office at my feet. As I said yesterday she doesn’t mind fireworks, thunderstorms, the Blue Angels or Coast Guard helicopters. She minds having her “pack” or one may call us her staff, away. Pet your dog today. Wash your hands and make a nice dinner. Dee

Noise

I was told today that our neighbor’s grandkids, visiting next weekend, are asking about our dog Zoe all the time. Their grandma asked whether Zoe is afraid of fireworks (going on now) and thunderstorms.

What Zoe is afraid of is me leaving her for any length of time. So, I’ll have to make this quick.

I lifted her up to the bed after “last chance” #1 and she’s sound asleep. Eyes not fluttering. Fireworks, Coast Guard helos, private planes to see the fireworks and now the wind has changed so commercial jets are overhead.

Sleepy girl sleeps. I’m going to join her before her herdiness, should I capitalize that? Her Herdiness needs me now. Dee

Traditional French Food

It just came to me in an instant. My brain had me type it before I even really thought about it.

I met with a lovely Texas lady yesterday, we had lemonade and looked at the view. Since then I’ve talked with two other Texans, on the phone, one my husband’s “uncle” and today his wife, his “aunt.”

His cousin, their daughter who happens to be our old dog’s hip surgeon, went to college, is very intelligent, and he wanted to go as well. Uncle has Alzheimers, aunt caring for him. His mind went in and out during our five minutes on the phone.

She called today because he didn’t remember who he was talking to and she apologized, no need, ever. They’re the sweetest couple I’ve ever met, making me feel at home at a Thanksgiving event for sixty, years ago, when my boyfriend left me alone for 12 hours. My family was six, not sixty. He said he kept checking the room behind my back and it looked as if I was OK.

I was corralled by his cousins asking if he got a job in another state would I go with him. I said, “depends upon my last name.” Then when we wed I wanted to keep mine and he was upset so I gave in.

***

That was my lagniappe. Introduction. What Cole Porter was so good at. I’m afraid I saw De-Lovely on Sunday and I remember my days studying American Musical Theater so permit me that diversion.

In traditional French food one deconstructs then re-constructs the elements. Kill the lobster, boil it, take it out of its shell while you’re making the sauce. Then assemble the plate, frame it with the shell on rice or whatever, and serve.

It’s not how people serve their families but something is familiar. It is that Mommy cut up your meat at the table. That’s classic French food. No-one has to take a snail out of the shell, it’s already been taken out, cooked, sauced and placed back in the shell with a tiny fork for the diner to take back out.

I prefer the more rustic cuisines of the Mediterranean with bright, bold flavors and fresh, local ingredients. In the time of Careme et Escoffier, French sauces, so luscious today, were designed to disguise rotting or rotted meat.

Now we have refrigerators and freezers, know how to brine, smoke, salt, dry, cure and keep protein. The frig takes the place of a root cellar. Too bad, as I’d love one! To visit my own onions and potatoes would be a joy.

The dog got the rotted meat after folks were done with it. Our dog gets premium frozen and grain-free dried raw rabbit, lamb and duck. If I do a sauce it’s a compound butter that’s been frozen, or jus. Perhaps at Christmas I’ll work up a hard cider gravy for a crown roast of pork, to go with the cornbread-stuffed apples and my brussels sprout gratin.

There are other ways to go. No money here, check out cookbooks, especially The Italian Country Table by Lynne Rossetto Kasper, and The Food and Wine of Greece by Diane Kochilas. That’s just off the top of my head. Check it out, it has links. Cheers, cook well today. Dee

 

What Not To Eat

on a date? First date at age 16, my parents made fun of me for years saying whomever it was would show up in an old red pickup truck. Guess what? Yep.

He had to come in and meet the family. He was 18 and I was 16 so my parents scoured the newspaper to find a PG movie. They settled on Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, a great movie I still recall. Then, the roads had frozen and Main Street was an icy mess so he did “donuts,” taking me home, 360 degree spinouts because all the smart people stayed home and didn’t drive in this kind of weather.

The next weekend I was asked out, same guy, to a nice restaurant. I didn’t want to get anything with tomato sauce because it could get on my outfit, whatever it was. Seventies, probably horrible. I loved salmon fillets so I got the salmon steak. I didn’t know where the bones were or how to extricate them or the skin. Ask me years later and I can skin and bone a salmon steak in no-time, place it yin and yang, toothpick together, season and pop on the grill. At sixteen, I had no clue. Cute guy went to Florida for Easter break and went out with a cheerleader for two years before coming back to me, for years. He married another cheerleader after I called off our engagement years later.

Don’t eat anything too spicy. If you’re going to an event or business meeting don’t get sunny side up eggs. Choose scrambled, they’ll brush off your suit if you accidentally spill a drop of yolk.

No tomato sauce. Steak and baked potato are OK but watch out for pot roasts and stews. Do not ever eat shell-on crab or lobster on a date unless you’re in the terroir, dressed for it and know what you’re doing. Example: shorts and t-shirt on the beach in Maine.

Basically, know what you’re doing. If you’re in Italy have your Bolognese. In Greece, eat the eel and octopus (I have textural and familial issues with both so I do not partake). When in France, traditional French cooks remove everything then place it back as garnish. It’s like Mom cutting up your meat.

In Scotland stay away from burgers. They look and taste like hockey pucks and are bloody expensive. Go for the salmon and mussels. Their pizza is great as well.

I should not have named this what I did. Try any kind of meal you’d like, in any city or country. I have, and it’s part of how I learned how to cook, and eat. There are just certain things, like tomato sauce, that can ruin your suit for a meeting, or a salmon steak you don’t understand that leaves you starving, to think about. Cheers and good eating! I just finished a toasted sesame bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon! Dee

Dad at 85

Yes, he’s nearly there and we are celebrating this event with travel to his parents’ homeland.

When I think of my childhood I wonder the traits that were hard-wired (innate) or learned and think of my parents, theirs, and theirs.

The greatest thing Dad taught me was fairness. Let every kid play, kids can carry toddlers, girls and boys for softball or touch football. No money, no scores, just kids calling on him and he’d have ask to wait until he finished dinner, to have fun.

I looked to humanize the star and pulled up the ones who needed guidance and/or talent. I was never a gifted athlete, but a wise captain. That was at age sixteen.

Don’t worry, I call on him to have fun, as he has intelligence, wit, and as I’m not in athletics he taught me to level the playing field. You can’t do it with cats, they don’t work that way. Dogs, yes. People, yes. I’m retired, not a consultant on Wall Street. Those are the mean dogs. There is no savior for them.

Thank you, Dad, and an early Happy Birthday, D

Man Caves, Corner Lots, Views

When I met my husband nearly 15 years ago he was living in a ground floor apartment with blackout curtains, behind the mailboxes and overlooking a parking lot. He had a friend’s donated la-z-boy, his desk (a door above woodhorses) and desk chair, the world’s first dual-brained, dual-monitored computer that he built from scratch. All he had in the frig was one frozen lasagna his mother bought him when she visited a few months before. In the frig itself were the remains of one 72 oz. Dr. Pepper from a convenience store, and a package of individually wrapped string cheese. There were string cheese wrappers littered on the rug between frig and computer.

He needed me. I cleaned up the wrappers and opened the blackout curtains. When he took me to a restaurant all the waitresses knew him. I cooked for him. I organized his laundry and closet so he could move away three weeks later. Hired and paid maids so he could get his security deposit back.

He was back with a new job two weeks after that. When a neighbor (a fellow cave dweller who was gifted the la-z-boy chair) asked why he returned he replied, “her.” He stayed at his grandfathers for a couple of weeks then one weekend walking a neighbor’s dog (a side gig for me) I found him a townhouse overlooking our park.

He had light, bought a frig and w/d and I cooked. I had a cat so he couldn’t visit me. One day he came home for lunch and I was making grilled cheese sandwiches and he remarked “oh, so that’s how you do it!” In response his mom later sent me a photo of him making his own toast at age four. It only took 30 years for him to learn to make a grilled cheese sandwich, and he still prefers mine.

I don’t really remember where I was born or the first few years except seeing slides every New Year’s Eve at home. I do remember my parents’ first home on a quiet street in a small village. No view, great street, people and kids. I still, many years later, keep in touch with a couple of neighbors. Touch football in the dead-end street (Dad was always reaching) and tree-to-tree baseball in our back yard. All the kids would call on him and his only rule was that everyone plays. I’m a girl and was allowed. A kid was able to help a toddler hit a baseball and carry him/her for a run. Of course Dad was the pitcher, the old softie.

We moved atop a hill for a spectacular view and got a pool. Then to our nation’s capitol for a corner lot where Dad tried to get a pool. In So Cal they had an incredible ocean view (I was on my own).

After the “Barbie House” on the park my husband and I didn’t opt for man caves but went for city views, then mountains, now lakes. Who knows what’s next but I achieved two things. I got him out of a man cave, and created a food snob. Yes, string cheese guy now tells me the nuances of two-year vs. four-year cheddar. Go figure! Dee

ps He’s in charge of anything that’s plugged into an outlet. Computers, phones, whatever. He also reaches high and is obligated to get things up high while I retrieve pots, pans and tools where I can reach below.D