Category Archives: Editorial

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Brothers and Husbands

Posted on August 6, 2015 | Leave a comment

I think one tends to the familiar when it comes to choosing a family. Of course one does not get to choose the family that bred him or her. My parents taught me a lot, as the eldest, and I passed some down to my younger siblings.

When I was off at college, my younger brother and sister were given a dog, a Collie they named Nike, after the goddess not the shoe. Yes, they loved her for all time but went off to college and the dog was left with our parents, of course.

My brother would always say, no, she doesn’t have to go out yet. My husband now says “When Zoe asks, I’ll take her out.” Does the dog need to get herself a “wee wee” pad (we do not need or have them) or just cross her legs and say PLEEEEASE!!!

I know my husband is in the middle of important work at home but this early evening work gives him a walk and a break and allows me to make dinner. My brother was in high school, had nothing else to do but could look at Nike and say “she doesn’t need to go yet.”

When I visited I often took her out for him and cooked for her. Two poached eggs on the weekend, on a piece of buttered toast, with two dog biscuits on the other side of the bowl. I forgot to butter the toast once and she wouldn’t eat it. My brother asked what was wrong. “You didn’t butter the toast.” It was still warm so I added a pat of butter and swirled it in.

That is why my brother doesn’t have a dog and we do. Of course Nike ate my breakfast. Zoe’s on frozen raw food.

Both Nike and Zoe were/are herders. Nike gathered the family up for breakfast. Zoe will not let me go anywhere in the house without following me and tries to be especially present in her “magic room,” my kitchen. Oh, the smell of chicken browning and potatoes. AAAAAAHHH. She gets great dog food, not our food.

I miss what Nike did for our family, especially my younger brother and sister. Her death was humane but traumatic for all of us. I ended up working for 20 years for shelter animals and feral cats because even though she was a sickly dog she loved everyone and I wanted to pay tribute to her and our family, including my abused rescue dog, Chani, who I adopted shortly after Nike’s demise and had for ten years.

With Zoe, (adopted from shelter at 6 weeks, with us 11.5 years) now she still herds me. I’m the food wench and disciplinarian and my husband is the “fun guy.” He’s working in the other room right now and the door is closed so it will be quiet. She’s with him, wants to be with me, she really wants her “pack” together so she can just watch to make sure we do not leave her. My brother, the Nike dog expert met Zoe as a pup and said, “she’s really needy.” Amen to that.

ps Can she go out now? Zoe and her “mom” Dee

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People

Posted on August 4, 2015 | 1 comment

People. We’re all people. Yes, I took political science and sociology and psychology. I know that we might get upset at the neighbor who borrowed our rake six months ago and never returned it. That’s an easy fix.

Then there are people who’ve hated each other for centuries or thousands of years. Jews/Germans and others, Croatia, Muslim, Catholic, Methodist, Episcopalian, and the British version that allowed Henry VIII to divorce or, better yet, behead his wives. Also we have Scotland and Ireland with a hated divide between Prostetants and Catholics that I have seen first-hand.

America brought in slaves from Africa. England provided the ships. Now there is a solid barrier between whites and blacks, that I have tried to quell in a small way. Now we live in the most divided city in the nation. Even the beaches are divided between black and white.

I was watching a film that turned to Auschwitz and could not watch it any more. For now. I need to see it. It’s mostly in Italian and is about Italian Jews being shipped to Auschwitz. It is unbearable but needs to be seen. I just can’t sleep after I see it. Must call Alice for the new exhibit at the Jewish Museum. I was raised Catholic, my husband a very Texas-style independent evangelistic way. I see people as people, not Black, white, Protestant, Jewish or Muslim. Or gay.

Open your eyes. Open your heart. If everyone did that I would be as eloquent as Sir Winston Churchill. In my mind….. Just think about it. Even vote.

We are all people. Same bodies, skin may be different and we may have differing religions but we are all people. Why enslave? Why make Jews and Catholics suffer the gas chamber?

Today we still have divides. We are all people. I think someone told me to ask us to think outside the box, to treat people as people. Meet your neighbor. A community, nation and world can only be stronger by its people and how they wish to change the world, for the better of all. Cheers! If I die because of this I wish my husband to shut this site down with a promise to take care of our old dog and re-marry. Not a trophy wife. Dee

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Differences

Posted on July 30, 2015 | 1 comment

My memories are my own, my screen saver is a picture of my father holding me with one hand at 5-6 months of age and me reaching my hands out in a park to pet a strange dog. They don’t call me the dog lady for nothing!

Much of my life has been led by the lessons Dad has taught me.

Last night he received a rare medal for his philanthropic works. I talked with the author of a piece in the local paper about an article he wrote about Dad. He said I had to call the business office in the morning to get a copy.

This is a small community paper whose former editor, now deceased, was a friend of mine. The business office called me back and asked the spelling of the name and said she’d send me today’s paper and call me back with a price. She couldn’t go back a day or look up a story on the medal or my father.

I asked for any paper this week that mentioned my father’s name. I told her he was the President of the organization and received a coveted medal last night. She asked his name again and said she’d have to look it up and get back to me.

Sounds like the Institution I remember! Change is a dangerous thing for old places and people. Not me. I used to go to the flower shop when I was working for the program office to get roses for Dad to give to the opera diva or lead ballerina in a pas de deux. Pay is a wonderful thing. Finally they made the roses thorn-free with water bottles at each stem that I could take off at the last minute that were worthy of placing gently in a diva’s arms after a wonderful performance.

I’ve heard the lectures on sweat, being there is most of the battle, but I recall the stories of honesty and persistence. That’s how I got the roses in those talented arms. That is what I brought to life and business. Dad earned that medal years ago in my eyes. I hope he knows he has a medal for being a role model from me.

That the local newpaper doesn’t know who Dad is, does not surprise me. It’s Bestor Plaza, streets and rooms are named after famed people. Dad just made Chautauqua what it is today. What would my old friend, deceased, Bucky Fuller think of that. Mom hosted his 84th birthday and 62nd wedding anniversary at our home and made him a geodesic dome cake to cut. I’ll bet the news gal has never heard of a geodesic dome or R. Buckminster Fuller. Oh, kids these days….

News, the President’s office is sending me two newspapers so I can frame the articles for Dad.

Cheers! Dee

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Seems Like Old Times

Posted on July 30, 2015 | Leave a comment

I love that movie with Goldie Hawn, Chevy Chase and Charles Grodin.

This is about something else. I don’t care about the medal, which is very special, but I approve and applaud it being given to a person who cares so much for Chautauqua. My Dad.

In 1978 an older gentleman came up to me on the street and called me by name. I was new but knew his name so said “good morning, sir,” I was young and very shy. He said “I’m not sir.” I said good morning Mr. F and he said “everyone calls me Shorty.” He was a peach and always spoke his mind. He is in my mind and heart forever.

The former editor of the local daily newspaper is also, I’ve heard from excellent sources, a recipient. She was a mentor to me at that time and when I veer, even though she’s gone now she corrects me, as an editor should.

That Dad joins this small neighborhood of honors is a tribute. Now let’s talk about art. Now that I think about it I hope it’s not a death sentence!

Alfreda Irwin, editor, took a photo of a creek I grew up on, catching crayfish and swimming in the pond. I bought it at an auction to benefit Chautauqua in 1982 and it was dated that year. Two years ago I framed it and it is a focal point in our home. I’ve sent a photo of it to her daughter and am leaving it to her.

Dad started painting at age 80. I’ve three of his works, all beautifully framed by me and my framers, of course. His art is also featured in our home.

Chautauqua sticks. I’ve met so many great people there. At its best it is a coalescence of heart and mind and such wonderful things that can be done. Dee

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Pain, Husbands and Fathers

Posted on July 30, 2015 | Leave a comment

My dear husband reached out for me the other night and caught my nose. He’s always touching the dog with his feet and she jumps down but can not jump up because she has no hips. So she whines near my pillow, I get up and lift her back and the two of them sleep. I’m detecting a pattern here. She wants a full side of a King bed! Smart girl, an old herder. Kick Dee out!

Last night I had a Charlie Horse on my right calf. I lifted my leg and did exercises to bring the spasm down. Then I walked around indoors for 1/2 hour and drank a lot of water. Then I tried to go back to bed. After sleeping a while, I reached out for my husband and he was not there. He can’t even call me from where he is because his minutes are limited by international law by the name AT&T.

Luckily I ran into an athlete who told me I need Magnesium for leg spasms. Pay enough and you get to meet doctors, news anchors and great athletes. Thank you! The calf is a bit sore but I bought my Magnesium today. I love my husband, dog, family, friends and in a while the people I meet every day.

My father got a medal yesterday he should have received years ago, for helping a not-for-profit business be a business. Forbes, early 80’s. Cheers to the former President. From his eldest, and with love, Dad, Dee

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Brown Beans and Stuff

Posted on July 28, 2015 | Leave a comment

My husband left this morning for the week, which gives me a chance to make noise, as in dishwasher, washing machine, vacuum cleaner and cleaning out the frig. Such exciting endeavors!

I’ve not been sleeping at night, so took a nap on the couch while he was watching a movie last night and I had intended to cook dinner. Instead he walked the dog to pick up Mexican food. What a sweetheart. He had started a list, which I just found now, on a post-it that says brown beans, crossed out. I got a chicken quesadilla instead. I can’t keep every note he writes but my heart goes pitter pat when he goes to the store for us, walks the dog or asks if he can help put our bed back together after an intense laundry day for me.

* * *

Cars. I tend to remember some over the years. There was my dad’s first new car, 1964 Buick Special coupe, red. At age 8, I was cleaning the whitewall tires with steel wool and saw tar from road maintenance on the door so used steel wool. He was so upset.

Then there was the woody station wagon circa early 1970-something. I remember family trips and my brother sitting in the back using suitcases as drums and driving us all bonkers. It was my college graduation present. Yes, a single gal driving around in a car that seats nine and groceries. It died on a bridge. I sold it to my mechanic for $400 and it was on the street in a week.

My pea-green/rustoleum VW sold to me by my boyfriend who must have hated me at the time. Semi-automatic, fuel injection (as my younger brother would have said at the time, Wrongo, Moose-Breath) . When it rained I had to keep stopping under overpasses and use towels to dry the distributor cap. After a politician’s child took the left front wheel off the axle on New Year’s Eve when I was home sleeping, police wouldn’t give me the report, I was responsible for the Freedom of Information Act in that state and no-one would tell me who did it so I footed the bill and could not turn too far left from then on lest the fuel system blow me up.

My only new car was my 1993 Jeep. I bought this army jeep (chose no back seat) so I could take my dog to the beach and it worked beautifully. One accident, because of a fire truck and the driver in front of me slamming on her brakes at the last second. All re-done. it lasted for years and hopefully went to a Marine.

Now I drive an old Acura and my husband an old Volvo. Why? Newer cars are smaller. My husband is very tall and he has to fit our cars. I can fit into anything but he needs to fit. We chose wisely and keep them fit for travel anywhere.

***

This brings me to Kevin, our former mechanic. We has a rocky start back several years as I don’t think he had much respect for female customers. I believe we got there quickly, however. Drop car off , what’s wrong, what he’s going to check, leave car and keys. Call with estimate, OK estimate, call for pickup. Credit card and keys. Clockwork.

Then things got more complicated. I ran out of oil down the street in my husband’s car. Kevin knew where I was, a few blocks away, and advised me to go across the street and get abc/xyz oil and drive to the shop. It worked. We worked together over two weeks with him advising me on when to drop off, pick up and to drive longer distances so he could find the leak. He did. It cost a lot but that’s why you keep a good mechanic around, especially if my motorcycle/tractor/car expert, physicist/software engineer/consultant is off on business. Yes, that would be my husband.

Thank you, Kevin. Thanks for working with me over the years. I appreciate your work ethic and service and hope our paths will cross again. My time with Jim Fascistio has ended. He kicked me out of the shop, yelled that Kevin said I was a pain in the *** then bragged about refusing service to a long-term customer who doesn’t have credit cards declined to fellow mechanics, another woman gone! Bravo! Throwing your father’s hard work into the trash.  Problem is he was kissing the feet of the young man next to me and thanking him after all his credit cards were declined. Then he turned to me, sent his minion out of the room then said “I won’t serve her! Get her out of here!” He had my car registration so I asked for my papers back. He bragged about a Federal Civil Rights violation.

If my numbers are right women are at least 50% of the population. If Junior eliminates all female long-term paying customers, wouldn’t profits go down? Think about it. He should. He’s lost a customer for life and everyone I know.

A rant, I know it. But I have to do a miscellaneous post every so often. Enjoy the day! Dee

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Connections

Posted on July 24, 2015 | Leave a comment

Zoe (our old hip-less wonder dog) and I saw a man and very hip-hurting 14 year-old Jack Russell downstairs and I told him we’d been through that. They went on their walk, we were coming back from ours.

A few hours later he was with his wife Janice and she passed me, turned around and asked me for a Vet recommendation. I gave her your Wellness Center and my favorite local vet. I have to be careful as I’ve vets all over the country! Zoe’s health file is thicker than mine and I keep every piece of paper, including the invitation for everyone to join in for hors d’oeuvres for humans (three) and dogs (three) to thank everyone when she turned one year old and was nearing well.

She’s 11 1/2 years old now and going a bit grey but passed her Senior blood panel with no concerns. The dogs were so great with her when she had her hips out as a pup. She would just lie belly-up and they’d leave her alone. I think she has some Zoe magic going on. She’s about 33 lbs. and has been flirting with a 150 lb. Akita. Just flirting. At 80 in people years and he’s about 40, we’re calling her a “cougar.”

Jack Russell’s owner Janice thanked me today and said my Vet had asked for the referrer’s name. It’s me, Zoe’s mom, Dee. Thanks for easing his pain. We always appreciate the work that you do and like making connections to make things right for everyone. Dee

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Mis-Direction

Posted on July 24, 2015 | Leave a comment

We just found out how badly our condos were designed. The cable TV people were here, scheduled last November but they’re here months later and the company is stingy with equipment so I assume someone is sitting in the truck checking things off as they complete this tall building.

The people who designed this place were nuts. This place is all about views. They placed all the cable connections where one cannot have a view. Today, they ran Cat 5 all around our bedroom and living room. We are supposed to stick it to the wall or whatever. There are not enough outlets for devices like cell phones and laptops to be charged.

As a cook, I minimize countertop appliances. Toaster, tea boiler (learned that in Scotland), a 5 qt. Kitchenaid mixer, crock with oft-used utensils and Kitchenaid food processor and a blender. That’s it.

Other electronics are based on the builders’ vision of how people would actually live here. I have something to say about that. They got it backwards. Think when a friend told you to relax and smell the roses. They should have looked out the window and thought “they’d put the bed here or here, Let’s give multiple outlets.

Luckily my husband is a physicist and engineer. He placed the modem in the middle and we also have The Beast of a printer with Bluetooth. I asked the guys not to move the modem or anything my husband set up. Internet, tv are working, faster. Unfortunately until we finish and go wireless, we’ve got about 60′ of Cat 5 wiring going around our place.

* * *

Today I had no Internet because of cable disruptions. I did get to see wings, however, many planes for the Air and Water Show that starts tomorrow and those of the birds that do not need an engine to fly. I almost hear them talking to to each other, seagulls that normally fly alone. What is that Coast Guard fire boat doing out there? All this noise, and the practice for the pilots? We do this, we fly elegantly every day. All we want is to is dive into the bay and get some dinner!  Get lost, humans!

My husband decided to take a different route today, business lunch and our vacation, his several-hour tour of another air endeavor. I got to clean dishes, laundry and floors. Luckily he’ll be back sometime tonight. Cheers! Dee

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Customer Service

Posted on July 23, 2015 | 1 comment

I was just ushered out of Fazio’s Automotive, a four-year customer who has dropped several thousand dollars there and has always been treated well and fairly, in my estimation. The new desk man (turns out to be the boss’ son) yelled at me and told me the guy who helped me fix our cars, very well I might add for nearly four years, told him I was a real pain in the behind (no, he didn’t use that word). New guy is in the dictionary now for Bad Customer Service. He practically kissed the guy next to me and called him by his first name and thanked him for his business then told Luis, who was writing up my paperwork and we got along just fine until I found out they doubled all the prices from last year, to get lost. I just asked why. Luis had last year’s bill in front of him, $80 vs. $160.00

I first stopped by last Thursday morning en route from the grocery store to secure an appointment. New desk guy/owner said he may have something Tuesday but I’d have to call back in the afternoon, another day. He was rude even then. They’re closed weekends so there was only Friday and Monday for scheduling and they do have computers so I left thinking it was not a big deal, just strange and rude.

After I asked about doubling the price, the owner’s son sent Luis to the garage and said he’d take care of this. He yelled at me, asking if I wanted the service done. I said yes and had signed the paperwork and had my keys on the counter. He called Luis and said that she gets no service. Get her out of here! My registration and paperwork from last time was on the counter and I asked kindly for it back. He yelled at Luis to give it back. Poor Luis was almost shaking when he ushered me out with my registration and paperwork in hand. It was as I crossed the parking lot to my car that he yelled that the former desk guy didn’t like me either.

We’ve spent thousands of dollars there over the years. Kevin, the past desk guy, and I worked for weeks trying to find the oil leak in my husband’s car. I’d drop it off at his request, pick it up, drive it however far he wanted me to go, and take it to our garage on weekends when they were closed. I can’t believe on his way to hopefully greener pastures he would go out of his way to call me troublesome as he was always so helpful and usually I just had to come in, get the keys and give him a credit card. Oh, the guy the new owner was sucking up to had no working credit cards. Go figure.

I asked early this morning if I should send my husband in to make things easier for him, because I saw how nice he was to the guy next to me, calling him by first name and thanking him for using Fazio’s. He accused me of threatening him. I could see with my own eyes and ears that he likes working with men and despises women. Goodbye local mechanic. Goodbye Kevin. If you read this let me know where you are and I’ll come to see you from now on. This has become a dictatorship and local folks will hear about it. In my decades on earth, I have never been treated so rudely and denied service after I even agreed to doubling the charge. I can’t pretend to really know what’s under the hood, but know what my car needs and when, how to buy a new one and when I’m being hoodwinked. As of now their bad reviews for service, maintenance, repairs and customer service are stuff of legend. The only thing they have going for them is convenience.

If they want to lose all their customers, especially female, they’re well on the way to doing so. The King of Fazio land, a corner on a commercial street in Student-ville doesn’t know that I know many neighbors and dog owners I talk to every day. I believe he made a mistake yelling at me and refusing me service. He’ll find out once the rumor mill begins and there’s a big one here. Dee

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