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At Peace

Husband is on his side of the bed with the view. Dog took over my side. They’re both snoring. They are in a happy state, of course Zoe chases rabbits in her sleep. Luckily he doesn’t chase women!

I wish I could sleep so well. Both of them snore all night, and that keeps me up. Someone could light a stick of dynamite (I would not know how to do that, it’s a reference from old Wile E Coyote cartoons} and they wouldn’t awaken. Hurricane Ike, a Cat 5 hit us in Houston and they slept through the entire thing. Nine hours. They weren’t afraid.

After a while I wasn’t afraid anymore (should have been) but as I watched the palm trees sway to unbelievable bend-ability I saw Bayou rise 20 feet. It was just a drag to try to get food or clean water to drink, or gasoline for the car for weeks for some folks. We had to find a way to get to see my mother across the land in hospice. In the end every one of our neighbors had damage. Except us. Many of the glass windows in the corporate towers 1/4 mile away shattered.

Early the morning after, my husband sucked the garage flood out of a garden hose he found, while a fellow neighbor cleaned out the street’s storm drain for a place for said water to go. His wife and I went door-to-door on the first floor to make sure everyone was OK. We couldn’t get them anything at the grocery because there was nothing. FEMA would have received good reactions if their actions were not disorganized in an appalling way, however they were also a sad effort, disrespectful, denigrating to all, but especially the poor.

FEMA had cars lined up for food and water for three hours using gas the car owners could not replace, and were telling the poor in the neighborhood who had no cars that they could not walk up and get their two gallons of water and rations. The reason is that the neighbors may come back and try to steal another ration from us. Us is the USA and no-one ever made a film or wrote about Ike, when the Mayor made us stay in place.

During Ike, staying in bed was not the answer to being frightened of the winds and horrific rain. I got up by the windows and blogged it until we lost power, water. Every place was damaged except ours. Maintenance and management didn’t arrive for days. It was up to us. Making myself useful gives me energy and peace.

I know why they husband and dog slept through it, my watching windows blow out downtown 1/4 mile away. They knew we’d each have a job to do, and I love watching them sleep. As I said, ours was the only place that was un-damaged. Somebody was looking out for us.

Peace was my creating a space for volunteers who wanted to help save animals. Most other leaders had two teams and two projects a month. I created 14 projects per month with willing volunteers and tough projects. One was three-hour Sunday shifts caring for Greyhounds right off the racetrack. They ate horrible food on the track, being in crates all day, and were malnourished. After rescue, docs spayed and neutered them and checked for health abnormalities. We released them in order of gender in separate play areas, took them back, in, they were used to crates, fed them, administered their medications then said good night and went out to bleach and clean the play areas.

I started coming up with themed names for them because no-one had a name. Music, presidents, philosophy, literature, prime numbers, First Ladies, Civil Rights pioneers, famous rabbit, cat and squirrel names? They would never keep that name with the home to which they were adopted but there were about eight of each gender coming in each week and I wanted them to have a temporary name to make the transition.

Another project was even more difficult. Spaying and neutering feral (wild) felines. No, I’m not a veterinarian. Somehow the “client” asked me to conduct training then supervision for cage cleaning, transport and breathing and as liaison to “ER.” That was a van run by my team leader, she was great. Plus tarps and setting up traps so they could awaken from anesthesia and be left with their caretaker (the right ear was tipped so the caretaker would know who’d already been done). It was a sweaty, minimum 6-8 hour venture. They provided the cats shots as well, flea medication and grooming. These were smart cats. There was no way they’d enter a trap again, even with mackarel!

The attention to detail of this small volunteer organization was amazing, the training manuals were incredible and when I had a thought to better the wake-up procedures, they copied a page off my printer and everyone received a copy. We were always in a hot part of town so I’d go trolling the mall (we were always in a back parking lot in heat, wind or rain) and get a Diet Coke and they’d ask what we were doing out back. I told them and inevitably they came out, the entire staff, with sodas, water, donuts or whatever they had to donate.

When I arrived home I was exhausted and needed to shower and change. Knowing that I made a difference for what used to be about 300 cats each month, now more as we moved, and our volunteers, that and the Greyhounds were two of my most challenging volunteer projects. That I got through the projects every week (dogs) or month (cats) was a testimony that I could get hot and sweaty, do the work well and achieve peace.

Be brave, in life, work and volunteerism. Find something you like and read books to kids in the local library. There are volunteer organizations all over. Or if you grew up on a farm, that’s your after-school volunteer work. Cheers and happy holidays to you, family and friends. Be at peace with yourself. Dee

Lovey-Dovey

A neighbor’s dog is called Lovey. The only dog she likes is our Zoe. Zoe loves everyone, from people who, let me re-phrase that. She likes most people, not criminals or people intent to rob us or anyone else. She has a bias towards “amblers,” including homeless people and tourists taking photos five feet from her door. She would never bite even a toddler taking food from her bowl but she can bark once or twice to let me know there is an issue I have to deal with.

She loves other dogs, except aggressive ones who try to bite her but she always gives them a chance, as do I, before judgment. I do that with people as well as dogs, having worked in shelters for years.

Lovey is also a herder, Zoe’s family tree although our Zoe is a mutt. I think they recognize each other as similar breeds. While scientists say dogs can’t see color our Zoe does and greets similarly colored dogs, whatever breed, as cousins. She also loves Huskies, especially huge ones that just love her and wish to be around her.

Don’t worry, every pet is spayed/neutered around here, part of the reason I chose to live in this neighborhood for a while.

Zoe has always liked cats as well, those who do not run from her. Lovey has her issues and is a really sweet and well-trained dog. Perhaps we should have her over after the holidays for a play date. No other dogs allowed, certainly no cats! Dee

ps What would she do if something happened to us on a walk, if she or I was attacked? There’s a trail below we’ve not gone to alone since there were two sexual assaults mid-afternoon one day, a while ago. She’s old and is not Lassie rescuing Timmy from the well. I just won’t go there any more lest either of us be molested. Dee

What is Christmas?

To me it is about change and memories of days past. I was sleeping while Santa was in the basement putting together my pink metal kiddo kitchen and my sister’s bicycle.

As to change, my husband and I do not “do” Christmas, except for a lovely dinner I’ve yet to plan. Change. Maybe back to my mother’s prime rib (never made it) and Yorkshire pudding and mincemeat tarts, perhaps not. But I did go out and buy mincemeat filling.

We took a tree given in my father’s memory and made it a Christmas tree. My husband strung popcorn and cranberries. I spent $3 on construction paper and made paper chains of red, green and white. Then I hung ornaments from my childhood and from our marriage. That was a change that we may or may not do next year.

I took a floral tying class last weekend and the spray roses died overnight. I improvised with red carnations, not a real carnation gal but they’re sturdy and the arrangement will last a week. I changed a few things and added a bit of bling from former arrangements (yes, I keep this stuff) so if we don’t get each other gifts, with the poinsettia, flower arranging class and construction paper Christmas has cost us under $50.

There is no Santa, no basement, no “some assembly required.” I might make bacon and cheese biscuits for breakfast, but have everything on hand. Eggs? Yes. Last night we drove around the neighborhood to see the lights. Very pretty. We even saw our tiny tree flickering from the street. I keep making changes to it. The silver wire bows I placed atop accentuate the star my husband’s grandmother, mother, and cousins gave last year with the tree to memorialize my father, who they never met.

Talking about change, Dad is buried near a noted criminal and several presidents, probably also criminals!

We will have a quiet dinner. I’m getting the dog’s food delivered today that will take her through to the new year (that’s her holiday gift as Michael will visit) and I may even get my husband a birthday card this year though he forgot my birthday last month, even had me inscribe it into his wedding ring many years ago and still forgot. I asked him what day it was, and he said “Monday.” Yes, dear. Later, he said “it’s your birthday!”

For Christmas we’ve had family, pushed cars out of the snow, and probably the best things my parents concocted, with Santa, were a family gift and minor personal ones like a sweater or socks. Also we kids had to choose a stocking from a hat and fill it for under $20, I always went over the limit, after all I was the eldest. Family gifts included basement items like a ping pong table and air hockey.

Ornaments. We each got a theme, every year, to hang on the tree, with our initials and the year on the back. Today I only have a few from the past, but started our wedded future with paired ornaments from wherever we loved, visited or lived. We’re putting the leg back on to my mountain reindeer carrying a tray of cookies. I found the leg yesterday. After our door wreath fell, I’m still missing my husband as a Texas snowman with a lasso and cowboy hat. I’ll work on that. Memories, family and changing traditions when the parents are gone. I preserve the memories in my own way.

As to memories my Claddagh ring fell off my finger as I slept the other night. I looked everywhere for it because my right ring finger was bereft. He found it by my pillow. That is my Christmas gift. Now I have to go and create a menu. Cheers and happy holidays to you and your family! Dee

Gonna Be OK

Two ornaments, same era. Snowman and a reindeer standing up, in an apron, carrying a tray of cookies. That was me, of course.

The wreath fell off our front door, causing damage. I placed it in the guest tub as it was loosing pine needles like crazy and we had bought it two days before Thanksgiving. My husband moved it to the hall and lost needles everywhere. I moved it to the balcony so I could clean up and remove ornaments and bag it to take out.

The snowman lost his head. So did the reindeer. I got glue to put them back together. Then the reindeer lost her right leg, so did my grandfather in the War, and I thought I might follow suit. Heads are on, ornaments on tree, now.

I chanced upon her leg today and my husband will put her back together this week. Just a one-inch white piece with a hoof. My cooking ornaments are sacred to me!

Speaking of sacred. I lost my Claddagh ring. I went to sleep with it on and awakened feeling my right ring finger naked without it. In the morning I’ll have to comb the place to find it. Hopefully I’m not losing too much weight for rings to slip off my fingers! I don’t worry that much about my wedding ring. I broke that finger at age 16, playing basketball in the driveway with my family, after dinner. The knuckle will keep that ring on.

A Claddagh is a ring with hands for friendship, holding a heart for love, topped by a crown for loyalty. Mine was also banded by a Celtic knot, for eternity and love. I’ll find it. Oh, if you get one, if you’re looking for a husband have the crown in and heart out. If you have one already, point the heart into yours to show that you’re taken. Oh, I hope we find it. Luckily our dog is old and not interested in eating sterling silver! Cheers, Dee

It’s Beginning to Look

a lot like Christmas. The streets I see are mainly clear or mushy. We were supposed to have two hours of snow in the middle of the night but it is now morning and it is starting up again.

Let’s hope the snowfall is not too small or too wet to fail all the kids to bring their plastic sleds and glide down from Mom to Dad at the bottom of the big hill down to the soccer field.

Looking at white roofs and receding snow I remember what that meant to me as a kid. We moved further south and I remember Christmas day being 72 degrees. It was just not the same.

This morning I donned my electric coat, winter boots, lamb Cossack hat, a scarf and wool fingerless gloves (I was walking the dog and have to pick up). The wind has died down a bit, it’s not shrieking all night. It was quite pleasant for our two minutes out there, and my electric coat was on Rudolph strength, bright red and useful.

The wind changes every two minutes here, one never knows how an aviator will land the plane. I’d hate to be Air Traffic Control here! I bet those folks don’t need coffee, just adrenalin. Same with Coast Guard. They are both remarkable.

The tomato cage is out there without a tomato plant. My basil is going. We may actually have a real winter. Ice fishers have not been out here for two years and I love to give one random pair per year pastries, hot chocolate/coffee and a six-pack of local beer for the day. It’s a random fishing hole near where I can get to the ice. Last time they’d just caught a 22″ trout. After the gift, they wouldn’t let me leave because I was good luck.

After 15 minutes, they didn’t get another and I was getting colder. The two men lifted me up to the dock by my arms and made sure I got to my car OK. No, they saved the brew for later! I hope their families enjoyed the trout.

So long, and thanks for all the fish. Dee and The Most Famous Reindeer of All, Rudolph

Design

Hello Philippines! I know a wonderful lady from Southern California who grew up there.

As to design, I never thought I was good at it. Neither did I think I was a good cook. I try to keep furniture in mainly neutral tones, except for a red paisley comforter cover given to my by my mother years ago.

I try to punch up the color on the bland walls, a bit. Theming. Walk in and there are reds, oranges and yellows. Dad painted a Tuscan landscape and a Maori-inspired piece from his travels. I also have a copy of the 18th century wood block print from Japan, the first full-color wood block in the world. I took care of this doc’s dog for a couple of weeks and this was my gift.

Down the hall are the greens. Each with a different green, all photos of Vermont, Concord grapes in western New York from a family visit, and my mother’s family.

The den/guest room is not finished as yet. When one walks in the front door there is a beautiful print of the Brooklyn Bridge, that I got framed for my husband. We have two wonderful quilts from his family, that are displayed proudly.

As one is a seasonal quilt I would like to replicate that in our den/guest room with four lithographs given to me by Dad years ago. It is art from Puglia, and arrange for their framing.

Our bedroom is supposed to be a Tuscan retreat. Chief painting is a large one from Dad of the Tuscan countryside. I’ve other plans, but they must be unveiled later.

I’ve an ally in getting quality photos and other art framed, K. For nearly 30 years I had a charcoal sketch of dancers that won a competition from an academy of fine arts. Of course Dad bought it for me in an awful uniframe. I had it framed shortly before he died last year and it was ready the day after his funeral, today.

K was gone the day I chose the framing. The owner made me do everything myself. In the end he asked me if I wanted a fillip. The only thing I fill up is my car’s gas tank every month. I said OK.

That night I awakened thinking I made awful decisions and wanted to take a photo of it for Dad. K answered and I told her what I’d done. She said she loved my decisions and couldn’t wait to work on it. Really? “And you did a fillip.” The dancers are in a pas de deux and I chose an undulating frame and mats and fillip with roundness to bring the eye to the artwork.

There’s more to do. This weekend I’ve a floral class, my second in a year. I’ve gotten good at small arrangements and this wonderful florist knows me and loves my dog and as one ages, learning a new thing every day or week is a good idea! You can’t find individual flowers at a grocery store. Here I can find thistles, alstroemeria, gerbera and other stems and with my pruning shears, make my own things. Cheers! Dee

Clock Ticking

Days are slow. No, it’s not my biological clock thank you Academy Award Winner Marisa Tomai for the information. That is no longer my concern.

As we age the clock ticks for everything, age, death, life through volunteerism, cooking, writing and caring for others.

We are awaiting something that takes longer than me re-writing the Uniform Code of Military Justice to prevent a kid from being sent to what now is Afghanistan. Yes, just for wanting to be with his father on the weekend. I got it done quickly.

I can’t be with my father or ever hear his voice or see his emails or see his sundry gifts again. He left a Sergeant in the US Army, I know his dog tag # by heart and my brother, his best friend, has one on his key chain.  It took a lot of my time to do all of these things. I wish to see my husband succeed in everything he wishes to do, and will help him do so.

Infamy, this is the day. May all those who have served our country be honored. Dee

L’Elisir d’Amore

We used to go to plays and operas all the time during a nine-week summer festival. The playhouse/opera house was in the Erte style. Over the stage the stone announced “art alone endures.” We “kids” laughed because it looked like art alopee epiduris and have called it that ever since.

Our family went to Vienna to produce a ballet, John Cranko’s choreographed Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev. We stayed at the infamous Sacher Hotel (Sacher Torte’s home) right behind the Staatsoper where they were performing L’elisir d’amore, elixir of love, by Gaetano Donizetti. I didn’t like the opera at all. Perhaps it was jet lag. I’ll try to see his Lucia di Lammermoor before I leave this earth.

We went for tea and sweets every afternoon and saw wonderful things. Dad wouldn’t let me go to the art museum by myself (I was 25 years old) so we saw the Lippizaner horses. Poor dudes, trained like circus animals. I’ve not seen a circus since I was a little kid. I will not go to rodeos, dog or cat shows, and certainly not pit bull frenzies unless I’m under cover. Heck, there is no way a nearly 60 year-old white woman can pull that off!!!

My husband went to his first ballet ever last year and said “that was really good.” Of course it was. My brother produced it and my father was chairman of the board. That was the week before Dad, a musician, entrepreneur and leader died. Now I have to try to get my husband to see an opera. It’s not his thing. I’m thinking La Boheme with supertitles.

Let me know what you think. Art elopee epidures to you, too! Dee

Wearing?

I think of the song “Sisters” from the movie “White Christmas” and wonder what I have on. “She wore the dress, and I stayed home.”

Long underwear, black silk, so comfy. And a just put on a sweater top in black/grey to keep me warm. It came from a company just a brief walk up the street. I got it probably a year ago and had to cut off the tag.

They had pants I love and I bought three pair and before they were bought out they said they were calling them the “Dee Pants.”

The entire worldwide enterprise was bought out and now it seems it’s mostly lingeree. They closed our local store and probably many others. What they offer now online is not to my taste so I’ll stick with what I’ve bought over the past few years, a lot of black and white, grey, blue separates. All very modest, including the Dee Pant.

Things I liked about this shop: the staff was fantastic, they knew how to find what I was looking for and knew what I bought six months ago; it was a young person’s store with a lot of mini-skirts et al but they did stock certain things for an adult in our community; and that I miss them. Happy holidays! Dee

 

A Woman’s Touch

As I’ve been convalescing the past few weeks I’ve looked around our home. What is a “man cave,” anyway? He usually spends so much time around the country for work that when we’re together on weekends, we’re together. He doesn’t play cards or drink. He knows billiards but doesn’t wish to be alone in a basement we do not have at the moment.

A workshop, yes, while his younger brother was out canoeing and hunting deer, he built a workshop and invented things, like a micro-switch for the grain bin. Now that would be his kind of man cave.

As I contemplated my will and eventual demise I realize that I have decorated our home with artwork that is very feminine and beautifully framed. The quilts are from his mother, one flowery one she refreshed, from an ancestor and one she designed and made the squares in the seventies (we consulted on the design for years and made it of the seasons). Some are personal, such as of me as a baby, then cooking at the James Beard House.

Much art and photos are of dance. My kitchen is all me. Do you know what he brought to our relationship, actually our kitchen, besides his wonderful self and a work ethic that only belongs to someone who grew up on a dairy farm? One blue plastic colander his mother gave him to go to college. Of course we still have it decades later.

I’ll never forget those nine bulls 20′ away when I turned on the light on “meet the parents weekend” to use the bathroom. They stared at me, eyes shining so I shut off the light. They thought his father was getting up to feed them but it was three in the morning! Whoops. We married two months later, rookie mistake taken in stride by all. Not the marriage, the light and noise of the bulls.

My in-laws are being flooded out for a lake to serve a big city water. They have to move all the cattle. They must leave in 90 days. When I think of how his mother decorated it’s rational in terms of his and her needs and those of the “kids” who flew the coop years ago but love to come visit.

My husband has no interest in making a living space homey or attractive. When we met he was living in a man cave on the first floor behind mailboxes looking at a parking lot, with his dual-brained computer he built and string cheese wrappers littered between refrigerator and computer. Of course there was nothing on the walls.

Now we always have a view. Thanks, Dad, for teaching me! Everything in me wants to be with him for the rest of my life, but I know it will not be as long as his life. Every few years we have a two minute conversation with me asking him to re-marry after I’m gone and have a kid and he responds not to talk about that. He’d be a great father.

Should I will anything personal to my family? My parents’ wedding photos, beautifully framed. My father’s art (he took up art at age 80) of Tuscany and one Maori piece I love. The dancer’s pieces which should go to my brother, head of a dance company.

Or should I leave everything with suggestions if he does find another lifelong companion and hope that she is kind and caring, acknowledges that I did exist, takes care of my dog and most especially my husband and parcels the art she does not wish to have where I’ve designated. I do not wish to see him alone.

Oh, our wreath on the front door crashed yesterday with precious family ornaments. Pine needles all over the place. It’s in the guest bath right now awaiting judgment. I got it two days before Thanksgiving and think now that it may have been in storage for a month, as it is so dry. There are so many memories, ones we made for our years together of a snowman with a lasso, a reindeer in an apron delivering a tray of cookies, Santa on a bi-plane and me the moose lying atop a bi-plane with presents.

Santa in a kilt with bagpipes and me as the national flower of Scotland, the thistle. He as a moose riding a trout when his brother visited and they tried fly-fishing. I had to go “catch” three steaks for dinner! After all these years, there are more. Finger puppets, he’s the cow (dairy reference), I’m the horse and the dog is the dog. Now we’re all together on Dad’s evergreen tree, dairyman didn’t fall with the wreath, I rescued him and placed him back with us before the wreath fell.

We rescue each other, all the time. Cheers! Dee