Category Archives: Editorial

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Missing

I should have called it “tortured.” Old dog Zoe does not mind my husband, “the fun guy” being away for a week or weeks at a time on business. She apparently stands by the front door waiting for me when I go out for groceries or flowers.

Months ago I asked our personal assistant if it was OK to leave her as it was too warm to leave her in my car. She said no problem, she doesn’t bother me, just sits at the door waiting for you.

My husband says he is the fun one who plays with her on occasion, but I am the important one. He is home for a few weeks writing a book and I set him up a gorgeous desk in our bedroom with en suite bath. He only comes out for a walk or water or Dr. Pepper while in work mode.

Zoe doesn’t know where to go. If I take her to the prime work zone, she wants to be with me, especially near feeding time. But she lays in front of the bedroom door wanting to see him. I lift her (no hips) up to the bed and 20 minutes later she is at the door wanting to see me again and it’s five on a Sunday morning and he gets up to let her out and goes back to bed. Then she lays on the floor by the master bedroom door awaiting him.

Once the book is finished my husband has opportunities that may separate us for a day at a time or weeks at a time. I’m enjoying cooking for him right now as I rarely do so for myself when he is out of town. Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

I think so, as my husband has started to cook spaghetti and meatballs, and wash some dishes. There’s tomato sauce all over the walls and water splattered over the counters. I can’t follow him and clean everything magically but do it when he leaves the room. For over 15 years I would not let him into my kitchen except for water and Dr. P.

He didn’t even know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Now he wants to use my KitchenAid mixer to make fluffy pancakes with whipped egg whites, rich pasta with lots of egg and my hand-cranked pasta machine. I remember from cooking school 1,1,3,1,2,3,4,5. Then change to the cutter and there’s fettucini.

Today, for lunch I will make baby back ribs with a great rub from a wonderful book, Alton Brown style, and a bbq sauce that I love at the very end. Roasted or mashed potatoes and grape tomatoes.

Dinner will be chicken for him I made the other day, cold cucumber soup for me. German cuke salad for him, he loves it. Have a wonderful Sunday and July 4th weekend. Dee

Everybody Knows Your Name

Like the show Cheers, that my husband has been watching re-runs of in the evenings to wind down (I placed all his single-person shooter video games into storage) everyone wants to know their troubles are all the same, why not go where everyone knows your name.

Except, they don’t know our names, except for a select few. Kiddos and parents and grandparents seek out our old dog Zoe. We have little ones that when they visit they whisper her name outside our door then get louder and louder until she rushes to the door to greet them, they’re getting older so now come over with Grandma to make silly parfaits for their family. Zoe is kind of a mascot around here, greets everyone and is present except when my husband, “The Balloon Man” twists balloons for the kids. He always has a few in his hat, jacket or backpack and is a hit for crying babies at airline gates and on planes. Zoe does not like the sound of twisting or when one pops.

One time he was practicing and took us so he wouldn’t look suspicious when little kids came up to see him. They gave him tips, we still have an envelope with $19 saved in it! One guy gave him his card and said he may contact him for his kid’s birthday. Um, my husband is a physicist and software consultant. He doesn’t do birthday parties. We just happened to be in a Mormon state at the time and he wanted me to help choose candy for all the kids who came in on Fridays to pick up Dad.

I asked him to do something more original. Next thing I knew he was ordering balloons from Sweden. His paramount endeavor was Road Runner and Wile E Coyote. We placed them in the windows. A father and daughter cycled by our place and she stopped.

Dad asked if he could see them as they were his favorite cartoon characters, Wile even had a stick of balloon “dynamite” in his hand. We gave them away and it was a treat for us to see them with those characters in their bike baskets.

I’m just Dee. My husband and dog are now famous, I just cook for folks. A famous musician ran into husband and dog a while ago and said he was sad to hear of the death of my father. How he found out, I do not know, but somebody must know my name. I water his dead dog’s tree every month. To Zoe! Dee

 

Joseph

and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. He has a robe of many colors, his favorite in the world. He has gotten tomato sauce and other food on it, I’ve washed it many times including today.

I washed it cold and hung it up to dry. It will take me two days to decide next steps on stain removal. I washed it with a shirt of mine that was blood-stained by a teething pup. Now, every time she sees me she does the “happy pee” always on the floor but usually also on my pants and socks and shoes. Our laundry room has been busy.

I think of what thought M gave to that robe my husband loves so much. His mother hand-designed and made it big enough, with long sleeves and a vent in the back so he could move his arms to learn to make pancakes (he did) and it is a beautiful robe. It is his favorite thing, when it is cool, to wear around the house. When it’s hot he just wears underwear and a tee-shirt. Then when someone knocks on the door, the robe comes on.

My crummy French professor down south would have called this Dee-ville. Yes it is, the world where we can take care of the Dream Coat, the Mom who made it and the man who wears it. Cheers! Dee

 

Weeds

Friday is flower day. 1/2 off at a terrific florist right up the street. My husband never notices the flowers I get him every week so I started buying vintage chemistry flasks (Erlenmeyer, Florence, a graduated cylinder for single arrangements. He noticed.

I also got him miniature milk bottles (he grew up on a dairy) in a metal basket. He noticed. I’ve had those flowers for three weeks. The flowers are for my husband, me and our little dog Zoe. Our family.

Today I bought three yellow spider mums and placed them with three-week old greens to honor the memory of my father, who died over the holidays.

For the kitchen I got yellow and purple daisies and strange green mums for a large mason jar.

I moved the tomato plant to a gallon container as we currently have three babies on the way, of the Sweet 100 tomato variety, and we installed a cage. The plant was 8″ tall when I bought it five weeks ago, it is now taller than me. We have been self-pollenating, just tapping every new flower with a pencil. I also moved the basil out of a 4″ pot to a larger Green Bay Packers popcorn container. Both are looking a bit sad and shocked now but a bit of sun, water and plant food will help. Tomorrow.

With the basil gone from the three-pot wooden container I needed something else. As a kid I saw these beautiful flowers and gathered some up to give to Mom. I handed them to her and she immediately tossed them into the trash and said, “they’re weeds!” No, Mommy, they’re beautiful! Today I bought one gorgeous Queen Anne’s Lace flower and it is in my living room in a shot glass with flower food and water, standing in for the basil. It is beautiful and I will never think of it as a weed.

It has a hallowed place in the middle of the “nun desk” with Dad’s Turkish pashmina scarf and sacred ornaments for me, including my rosary from First Communion, and the mini milk bottles of course! The desk was a gift from neighbors who moved down the street to a more eco-friendly building that he re-designed back in the 1950’s. They bought it at auction at a nun’s school in town. It is gorgeous oak and the one drawer now holds all my cards for thank you’s, holidays, and other occasions.

We lose some things, we gain some things that provide memories for a lifetime. Cheers! Dee

btw with all I got today, it was under $10 of flowers and a weed.

Trying vs. Doing

A good friend of mine, my late father and my brother has been transferred to hospice care. I think a lot of what he meant to me in my life, getting me consulting contracts, being on the Board to support my views on the problems the organization was facing.

I remember, being retired, that looking for a job is far more emotionally exhausting than doing it. You get the job, have no idea of the subject matter you’re analyzing and give yourself a crash course so you can hit the ground running.

My first real job after college was as an assistant legislative analyst for the Speaker’s office. The analyst was off on maternity leave. I was asked if I knew anything about insurance. Well, I have car insurance.

Do you know McKinneys? Who is McKinney. Law books. No. That was a Friday. I started my new job on Monday and went to a bookstore and tried to cram over the weekend. All I could find was one hardcover book, brand new, with a guy in a pinstripe suit on the cover that was about insurance.

That book even had a chapter about Gerber Life insurance, which they’re selling on TV now. It was called “Like Taking Candy from a Baby.” Bosses and lobbyists did not like that book so I took it home and learned the real stuff at work.

I remember introducing an incentive for insurance companies to offer well baby care in the early 1980’s. They wouldn’t hear of it. Every bill report I made to the Speaker, everyone of my party in the Assembly, was sent to lobbyists and the opposition before the meeting as per FOIA (Freedom of Information Act), for which I was later responsible when I got a permanent job as analyst for another committee. For every such report the insurance industry said “Will Raise Premiums.” That’s it. I should have stuck with Gerber and the first book I read.

Everyone who has health insurance (soon to go away) has well baby care now and it is somewhat thanks to me. The insurance companies finally realized that well babies cost them less than sick ones, preventive care works, and as they never lowered premiums they could put their extra money into offshore accounts and reinsurance and the stock market. And be given billions of taxpayer money for being “too big to fail.”

I have done many good things for people and animals in my life. This is not one of them. It was only four months and a “hazing” that landed me a permanent job doing the “grab bag” committee. Pick an issue, fill the bowl and let me in with the claw to pick up anything and I’ll learn it. Native American Rights, Veterans, Cable Television Franchising in NYC, Fire and Building Codes. Reapportionment, Legislative Ethics (?), how to raise and lower the American Flag, Human Rights, Civil Rights, Military Code, Sexual Orientation, holidays and non-holidays.

The biggest holiday to celebrate was MLK Day, the first, we all drove to D.C. and went to several services, the most moving of which was at the AME church where Coretta Scott King delivered a eulogy for her husband, with a choir.

The other holidays were more days of remembrance, such as Haym Solomon for financing the Revolutionary War, and Raoul Wallenberg for his heroism in WWII. It was an honor to do this for our country. Veterans was taken off my burden of a slew of bills before computers, by a veteran who sat next to me for several years. He saw stuff we never heard of from anyone, including him, in Vietnam and was mustered out to Texas for two weeks. They ordered him to go to Chicago for the 1968 Democratic Convention, as part of a military presence to suppress the people.

He refused. He said he’d do KP (dishes and kitchen prep) for the rest of his time but he would not fire on American citizens. He had been through enough. Now he is a leader in an anti-war organization made up of veterans.

I’ve had many experiences looking for work, but in the end if you interview the interviewer first, you’re better off if they offer the job. I flew in from the Rockies for a breakfast bagel at the Carlyle in NYC and was offered my own office, twice my salary. My new boss made me into a hamster going around a wheel. I left and spent my life savings to go to …… cooking school. I recently received photos from my aunt from our graduation dinner at the James Beard House, that I had framed.

Yes, I cooked at the James Beard House, and as our family was a large group they were upstairs in the loft where his bed had been under a mirrored ceiling. We cooked our hearts out that evening and everyone gave me the food they made so I could toy with it and make breakfast for 14 family members and 20 neighbors. They were proud of me.

Yes, I do read about cooking and have many books. I do cook. I do not do that much French anymore, more Italian or Greek. Normandy and Provence. Best ingredients, simple preparation. I’m only cooking for two a la minute.

Big storm coming in. Must get offline and check on my husband and old dog. Thanks for sticking with me over the years. I appreciate it. Cheers, Dee

 

Yours? Ours!

I just met people from a furniture rental company who commandeered, legally, one of our two elevators. They then lectured me about using the second one, saying they needed that as well. I and my husband and our little old dog live many floors up and cannot use the stairs as I’ve arthritis and our dog has no hips.

They screamed at me saying both elevators were theirs. That is not the truth, which will come out. What they are trying to do is against rules, laws and fire code. I know, I administered New York State and City fire codes.

I do not care how quickly they wish to deliver and be paid for sofas and chairs and beds, I care that my dog went out for a quick walk and I am not supposed to climb many flights of stairs to get home.

I did register a complaint. These delivery people said nasty things about me and commandeered both elevators that bring me home. They are breaking the fire and building laws for their own convenience and that is not acceptable with what we pay to live here. That’s it for now. Hasta la vista, baby, I’ll be back! Dee

John Robert

That was me, before I came out as a girl. Now I’m Dee, because no teacher could ever say or spell my first name, after a Celtic gal with a very sad story.

Dad taught me to dance, swim, play violin and piano, guitar, touch football and baseball with two bases in our yard. All the kids would come out and call on him to play and he’d say “after dinner.”

Everyone in the neighborhood came to see him every night and his only rule was “everyone gets to play.” That didn’t go for football on the street because babies were carried for baseball and the outfielders fumbled the ball often to make sure the baby made a home run. The street was different and less safe for kiddos. We  lived by a sports coach and a canine detective, psych and electronics mentors all and lots of kids in eight houses on one dead-end street. One family had eight kids! Sadly my best friend died of a brain tumor at age seven. They never told me, just said he was visiting relatives. His dad’s wife died and he re-married so they had ten kids! More for play, miss Tommy.

Everyone Dad knew wanted to come to his funeral as well. I’ve yet to see his gravestone but am certain my brother will take me there soon. The funeral director recently sent me a kind letter and a map of this infamous cemetery. This is for Dad and Tommy, Dee

Lectin

I just heard about this compound yesterday and am researching it. Right around the same time my brother was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes (Type I, age 16). I had but was not correctly diagnosed for 25 years. I have rheumatoid arthritis.

Both are auto-immune diseases that are probably passed on through our genes. Of course my brother is on insulin. I take an OTC pain reliever twice per year on bad days.

They seem to be recommending a Paleo or what I think is Vegan, diet only. No grains, even beans, nightshades like potatoes and the entire family of tomatoes, eggplant. No cheese, no bread. I think I’ll print out this page and eat it. I’m a foodie. I’d just as soon die earlier than force myself into this. No problem getting the skins off and seeds out of a tomato to reduce my risk. More for you as it comes in. Dee

 

Sounds

It’s after 2:00 a,m. and I cannot sleep. My husband, first time in a while, is now snoring soundly, dog Zoe is yipping in REM sleep. I was just laughing inside my head while marveling at my family and how I know them so well, so can get up and write a bit.

My husband sometimes talks in his sleep. He tells me I do as well. I never understand a single word he says, just put my hand on his back and say “it’s OK” and snoring starts once again. With the dog it’s different. Sometimes I put my hand on her, usually her REM sleeps are very brief and she goes right back to sleep on her own.

It’s funny how you know people 24/7, and a dog. As a wife and “dog mom” you know what everyone is up to and anticipate what they need all the time. Out? OK, it’s 2 a.m. and I can get a jacket on and do it. That is rare. Zoe’s on really great food and she is not ill often even given her age.

I never lived with someone when I was single. It is very different being with a husband, someone for 15 years as there is a sense of one-ness and camaraderie that you don’t get from going on a date to a movie. Come on, we fart from time to time, so does old Zoe.

When I leave to write or just go into the other room I listen. I know they’re both OK. ABC, Airway, Breathing, Circulation. Yes, I took the first ever course from HSUS and the Red Cross for animals, way back. Yes, I passed and worked with shelter animals and feral cats for 20 years.

I still check on them every 20 minutes I’m in our den typing. They don’t know it, but I’m there. That’s what caring people do for their loved ones. Dee

ps They are fine, I will sign off and go back to them. D

 

Everybody Knows Your Name

My husband is known here, a but nobody understands what he does for a living. There are doctors and musicians, many others known for their skills.

Dad was known by many and is missed by many, especially his children and fiancee and her family.

I walk our old dog Zoe and everyone knows her. Inside, outside, on walks, whatever. everyone says hello. My husband and I check different things on Netflix and Amazon prime. He’s usually home only weekends and tired so we lay on different angles of the sofa and watch something, like NCIS or lately Cheers or a movie. Never Jane Austen for him!

I’m just the retired wife at home taking care of the house and dog and writing a bit. I don’t begrudge Zoe for having the limelight and time of her aged life taking credit for her sunny personality as it is so and I know it because she has been our joy for nearly 14 years. Do you believe they would not take her as a hospice dog visitor because she eats frozen raw food? They thought she would infect people who had two days to live.

My husband and I used to have a place to go a block away for a burger where everybody knew our names. It is now a flower store, gorgeous blooms, where I shop every week. They know my name but always ask for Zoe. My husband had her photo placed on my credit card. They all know her and ask me to bring her in.

You want to go where everybody knows your name. I will miss Zoe when she passes. She is over 90 in “people years.” Her sunny personality has helped us meet people and deflect dog situations on the neighboring streets, whatever neighborhood we are in. She just knows what to do.

The happiest I see her is when we turn down the five mile road to my in-law’s ranch in Texas. She hops up from her orthopedic bed in back of my SUV and I open the windows. She knows she’ll have a feast from crumbs grandma and I drop during several days of cooking before Thanksgiving. We like it because it’s less to clean up at the end of a day!

Why remember our names? Remember Zoe. She is still with us, just getting old like me. Cheers, Dee