Category Archives: loving life

Ladders

Posted on July 2, 2016 | Leave a comment

or getting a leg up on the competition. As an infant one cannot walk, but as soon as s/he can there’s a ladder.

I probably did not know the concept until my teens, but learned the reality soon thereafter. Think of our supposed “melting pot” of cultures. Each one that got in to our nation kicked down another culture to make their way in the world.

As a kid people talked about Wops and Micks and Polacks. They were friends and neighbors. I didn’t understand the terms of the diatribe because I didn’t know it was one, didn’t get the words and that I had to take a stand. I did, at age eight, in favor of a boy who was gay. I didn’t know it, nor about sex or gay. I just knew he was seen as “different.”

Did I climb the ladder and push anyone, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation off that ladder? NO. Job inequality? Yes, equal rights and pay. Do I fight for the rights of my family? Yes.

The question is if I keep a person from a different condition, let’s say someone with one parent who doesn’t have money for an education, and kick her off the ladder, NO, I would never do that. Not for being a citizen, voter, retired worker, perhaps I should call this blog Melting Pot Mom, but I still need to be Napping Dog Press! I have met so many wonderful people over the years, from everywhere. It’s been a lifetime of adventures.

My husband is still sleeping off a tough work week and long commute home. We have three days together, a treat for me and Zoe the dog.

One of the reasons husband and I have been together so long is that we do not believe in the ladder of age, color, anything. We believe in bootstraps. Education, jobs, belief in one’s abilities. We’ve never kicked down, we lift up. A happy July 4th to you, your family and friends. Dee

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Appointments

Posted on May 19, 2016 | 1 comment

I have a great view, not so great weather. Live in a building overlooking a lake. Don’t worry, I’ve boots and shoes and coats for everything because we lived in the Rockies and are ready for even Mud Season (called Spring everywhere else but the Rockies).

Our dog, who we got as a rescue from the Pound and had to have two hips taken out and grow her own, has appointments. She’s about 86 in “people years.”

I’m running into Grandmothers who want to schedule to see our Zoe with their grandkids this summer. Should I ask her real grandma for approval?

If I’m pleased you must know our Zoe (Greek for “life”) is as well. She loves the attention and I must keep her bathed and combed out. Yes, she loves the bath/massage, has to air dry, no hair dryers, and hates being combed with Dee’s Torture Chamber of combs and brushes.

As she is the Queen, or Grande Dame here she will do her part and I’ll make it happen. Please tell her it’s OK to let the younger dogs keep ears out (one is blind) and she can snoopervise and take appointments from loving grandmas. All the best, Dee

p.s. Zoe’s Grandma M is far away. I will not place Z on a plane. For a farm family who once wanted to mow a goat pen for Zoe, I said no, she sleeps on our bed. Now Grandma M laments the holiday times we do not bring her, because of two things. Zoe cleans up anything we drop or spill in our 3-5 day cooking extravaganza, and she watches out for my father-in-law to come home from feeding the cows. On his portion of the sofa where he reads Civil War books.

I tried to take him up to New York, Vermont to see Revolutionary War sites and have a great photo of him framed, with my mother-in-law’s shadow taking the photo, at the Saratoga Battlefield. I also took them to the women’s suffragette location. No photos will be disclosed but I did get one. I’m keeping it under wraps for now.

Still the daughter of an ancient battle, the War of Northern Aggression as he calls it, we get along well but my dog is a Texas dog, born in the only state that was ever a nation. Proud of it.

If my father-in-law knew how much Texas kindness his son, daughter-in-law and adopted dog were bringing up here, he’d be proud and still miss us when miles away, our dog picks up that farm road dust and knows the ranch is nearby. Thank you sir, ma’am for everything. Dee

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Healed

Posted on May 14, 2016 | Leave a comment

I went to the eye specialist yesterday for a follow-up from surgery and she said two wonderful words. Healed, and that the growth was benign, not cancerous. She did say that something could grow back and that in 20 years I may need cataract surgery. I may or may not be around for that.

She also said I don’t need to see her again unless I’ve a problem, and that it’s now OK to get new glasses.

To celebrate I’d already ordered very early birthday gifts for me and a friend. We’re the same age but I’m Scorpio and she’s Sag so I’m older. Headbands with a bow. We’ll open them this weekend together and clink them together as if it was champagne and our birthday. Thank you, Nordstrom! It’s the most comfortable headband I’ve ever worn.

I opened all the shades so my husband could see the lake and views yesterday then got up at 4 a.m. to close all the shades so he can sleep in. He just arrived late last night and leaves Monday dawn, again.

We’ll see what we can do about this. I may be able to go see him one weekend a month that would save him time and flights, if I can have someone stay with Zoe the old dog. In the meantime I’ve a rough woven sweater with a loop hanging out. He, the physicist and software engineer, went out and bought a crochet hook and fixed it once. Not enough but the crochet hook is in the sewing kit. But who’s husband knows how to buy or use a crochet hook. Very few. I don’t want to know.

One who’s mother sews quilts and stitches me linen hand towels with my favorite herbs (when she was on bed rest after leg surgery, she’s OK), that I even iron. I like to use them as napkins for guests at dinner but guests think they’re too pretty to use so I’ve found another way to display MIL’s and my Aunt’s hand towels and must make it happen.

I failed my sewing badge in Girl Scouts, age seven. The “leader” called everyone around and they all laughed at my work at her suggestion. I remember her to this day. I stuck it out selling cookies, found that not as delightful as I’d planned (back in the day when we had to go door-to-door) then quit. She was a horrible leader, sitting there, with sweat stains down to her waist and never moving from her chair and yelling at us. I didn’t need to volunteer to do that after school. Back to violin, piano, choir, ballet.

I’m getting older, may get cataracts in time but no more treatment needed. New glasses may afford me a better perspective on life, as was going to my barber the day after eye surgery and asking him to cut off 8″ of hair. He did, and I’m better for it. You’ve heard about winning a battle but not the war? I’ve not won a battle and never will win the war, with my hair. It does what it wants, when it wants. “Smoothing Serum” only makes it look stringy and dirty. C’est la vie.

Let’s let things go. No more smoothing serum, play with your hair. Give with heart and soul. Love your spouse, your pets. Cook with abandon. Have guests for dinner. Make them good food.

Get rid of dog undercoat on carpet who is really shedding now. Bath first thing today, dog not me. Launder dog towels. 24 hours from bath (she hates hair dryers so I bathe her at home and let her air dry like Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry McGuire) then comb her out. This time she needs a pre-comb-out. Too much undercoat.

That’s how my life goes. It’s about priorities. I once had a boss that said we needed a meeting about “priorities” and I had to bring her every file on my desk. She went over who knows, I’ll guess 99 files and said they were all of equal priority and all had to be done asap. Write the annual report, keep everyone happy and I’ll be fine. She was looking to fire me. I quit, instead…. and went to cooking school! Cheers, Dee

 

 

 

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OK, I am Gibbs

Posted on May 11, 2016 | Leave a comment

I’ve nearly 90,000 viewers. I wanted to give up at 1,000 posts but didn’t. For years I’ve been asking myself why. I had a career, a large volunteer coalition with projects I was passionate about. I was always afraid of writing, that no-one would like what I wrote. I was told by one parent I could be an astronaut or president, and the other that I would always be a failure. Yeah, they divorced. I like writing stories from life, recipes, thoughts, and apparently you like reading them.

Here goes, first version of Dee’s Rules:

1.Live, love, laugh.

2. Cook with abandon for family and friends. Be generous in spirit.

3. Get a pet. It’ll make even a nerd a human being capable of thought and care. Even a betta or goldfish will do if you know their rules.

4. If you can’t handle a pet, get a plant. If you can’t do that get an air plant and place in on a suction cup on your window. It only needs minimal moisture.

5. Find the right spouse. Took me over 20 years. He asked about kids. Not yet, see rule #3. We’ve had our dog over 12 years, no kids. He spoils her rotten and I’m the disciplinarian and food wench.

6. Before #5 meet the parents, all of them, no matter how far across the country or world they are. Grandparents, too. Survive the interviews then cook for them. Yes!!!

7. Take a break in life and go to a good cooking school. It’ll teach you Rule #8.

8. Shop the outer aisles of the grocery, produce, fish, meat, dairy and only go in the center for bottled water, condiments, rice, pasta, tomatoes for sauce. And tea, of course.

9. Yes, space is a big dark thing out there few folks can speak about in person. It is also a small kitchen space used for very few things. I keep mine to a minimum. If you eat rice five times per day, by all means have a rice cooker. Espresso with foam? Ditto. I’ve a 5 quart stand mixer, food processor, blender, toaster and hot water kettle. I can explain the kettle, we were living at 6,500 feet above sea level where water boiled at about 140 degrees instead of 212. On the stove, water for tea would never boil.

10. Trust your heart and your brain. If they’re fighting, resolve it.

11. Love your family and always welcome them with open arms.

12. Always say thank you.

13. When you go to any foreign country, always learn good morning, afternoon, evening, and good night; also please, thank you, excuse me and where is the nearest bathroom. Also can you point me to my hotel.

14.When planning to go to a foreign country make certain your passport and visas are in order. Research! Know what to see, what you can eat (raw fruit or veg) or drink (water) and about the culture and how to dress. In Greece we went to an historic Orthodox church and all the gals were in shorts and tee-shirts. We had to walk by a priest who OK’d us. Luckily I’d stocked up on local scarves so some were used as skirts, others as shawls. Of course I was dressed appropriately to begin with. Who else had to walk around the house at age six with the OED on her head keeping posture erect?

I think that’s wiped me out enough for now. I may venture on a walk on broken sidewalks and dreams towards the grocery store to gain dinner. My rules will be simpler, but needed stories to go with, for now. Dee

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Wheels Down

Posted on April 16, 2016 | Leave a comment

My husband touched down about an hour ago, not home but across the country but he is probably in Customs and on US soil in a safe place.

He’s been in India for work, a grueling week and I’m certain he’ll sleep the weekend away and be home a week from now.

I gave him a list from the NYTimes (thanks, Grey Lady) of what to do and what not to do. His favorite beverage includes an inordinate amount of ice and Dallas’ answer to Beaujolais, Dr. Pepper. He was deprived of both (you can’t drink local water/ice) so I asked him to treat himself to a huge glass of ice and Dr. P at the airport. No word from him for over an hour. He must still be at Customs.

He brought an extra suitcase with books and training materials. I’m getting worried though I’m glad they landed safely. He’s through and is driving to his hotel before he gets too tired. Whew! He sounds really tired and will call later, guess he didn’t get his DP and ice.

When a spouse can’t call for over a week it’s stressful, especially with taxes et al to be completed, but I did them as I have for years, before we were married I did his! He asked to meet me at the restaurant where we first met, on April 14 – nice timing – and showed me his W-2 and asked me to do his federal and state taxes, giving me the forms. The deadline, it was snail mail back then, was midnight on the 15th so I went over it with him at the restaurant, we made a copy, sealed the envelope and drove to the main post office about 10 p.m. and waited in line to place the envelope (in the running car) in the USPS mailbox.

That old car brings back memories of trips we took and stories that were shared. He sold it to a co-worker years ago. His colleague came to our going-away party and I asked if I could say goodbye to the car. I just looked at it, looked into the window and there was a baby seat in the back and I knew it was no longer “our” old car, it was theirs. Good.

Here’s a tax story. I did my own taxes and mailed them via USPS. Two days later they were returned to me for no reason. I spent a day dealing with the IRS and the USPS who finally said they made a mistake. The IRS waived penalties because it was the fault of the postal service. I’d sent the unopened tax envelope with postmark in another envelope with a postmark and IRS still said I had to pay late fees because even with the April 15 postmark it arrived late. Don’t trust the federal government! That’s all for now. I have to hope my husband doesn’t fall asleep on the freeway. Dee

ps He’s parked and is walking to his hotel. I’m sure he’ll get a lot of sleep but at least he’s safe. Last night I tried to put worry out of my mind with breathing and thoughts. I think I’ve worried since I was a little kid. It’s a hard habit to kick. Please don’t say yoga. Dee

 

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Pack Leader

Posted on March 31, 2016 | Leave a comment

I am the pack leader at home. Not when the “fun guy” my husband comes home for a day or two. I am the dog walker and food wench, and disciplinarian. She’s 12. 84 in “people years.” So, she’s older than me.

Zoe the dog is going in this weekend for blood tests and shots and a general exam from her vet who now does acupuncture. Cool, that’s why I chose this practice. Oh, Zoe had her hips excised as a pup, severe hip dysplasia in a 24 lb. pup.

I’m wondering how difficult it is for people, adults with enough money to afford it, to get health insurance through ACA, non-subsidised. Insurers we’ve had will not answer the phone unless one wants a marketplace plan with subsidies. After one company screwed us, accepting a check after several phone conversations, not cashing said check then never returning a phone call means there are holes in ACA. After we did much research we found a broker who is setting us up. Why is my dog’s lifetime, tattered health care folder larger than mine?

I cancelled that check and it’s back in our HSA account. As to the dog question, we pay cash and will do so this weekend for her senior blood panel and shots. No-one will offer insurance for our hip-less wonder dog. I think pet insurance is a crap shoot anyway. I chose her vet for a reason, acupuncture, acupressure as Zoe ages. Yes, research.

Do research for everything. I do it for a few things and my husband is the ultimate consumer. I find places to live and he vets things to buy. We’ve been married over a decade and he told his parents to get us a Kitchenaid food processor for an elopement gift because his detailed research said it was better than competitors. I agree and have been using it for years.

I have my pack. Keeping it together is stressful with my husband gone to work elsewhere all the time. I never know what to cook when he comes home. If he’s eating beef all the time I want to change it up and make it homey as he only eats in restaurants.

Zoe and I are home. We want him here. We miss him. Dee

 

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Posted in Editorial, Family, loving life, politics

What She Brings

Posted on March 28, 2016 | 1 comment

is way more than we ever could have expected.  Of course Zoe is a herder. She is so kind with adults, kids, other dogs and in her lifetime has always liked cats as well. Sorry, two mice digging out from winter snow out west.

She’s getting old but is healthy. I’m calling her vet to ask if she needs more that the kennel cough vaccine as to a postcard reminder.  Another senior blood panel may not be warranted as yet.

I’ll check my Dallas vet. She’s my husband’s cousin, who excised Zoe’s hips as a pup. Yes, our Zoe had the worst hip dysplasia in a 24 lb. pup she’d ever seen on an x-ray. She grew her own hips and at age 12 is 32 lbs. They never made hips for dogs under 6o lbs. back then so we had to give our girl a chance. I don’t know what she could do today but back then when she recovered she could corner around a tree, get a ball, bring it back to me and the Retriever or Lab would be looking around clueless. Who got the ball?

Hips from one’s own cartilage. It took a while to heal. When she stole a pound of prime steak off our counter I thanked my husband for putting it away because he doesn’t go into my kitchen except to get ice or Dr. Pepper and he said “I didn’t do it” then we looked at Zoe and she was licking her paws. We laughed.

Zoe brings joy to our days, life to our years. Everyone in the neighborhood knows her name (not usually mine) and they introduce their kids and dogs to her, knowing that she is cute and friendly.

In olden days she, at age 84 in “people years” may be called the Grand Dame, the highest status, but she is a dog. I prefer to call her my, our, Zoe and leave it at that. She herds us in the house and makes friends with everyone out on a walk. She brings love to our home and life and is family. Please adopt and spay/neuter. Cheers from D and Z

ps Thanks to Nathan, Chani and Mick Dundee (Mickey) as well. They were also my rescues over the past years I worked in shelters and spay/neuter clinics.

pps Someone asked me while I was volunteering at a community services event for a shelter showing a pup years ago why I was so mean that I couldn’t adopt this cute puppy. I told her if adopt all of the unwanted and strays that would be an untenable situation. I’ve had four wonderful pets over 30 years.

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Posted in animals, Editorial, editorial pets, Family, loving life, Zoe

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Quiet Time

Posted on March 7, 2016 | Leave a comment

There are some times when you look at your life, enjoy memories from view, taste or even photos of relatives and friends.

As we always go to Nanny’s on Thanksgiving after dinner all the other guys were watching A&M vs. UT. They’re all A$M (intended) so it’s a big deal.

I was looking for my husband and he was in the formal living room alone, lying on the floor because his back was bothering him. I offered to help, nothing but OTC pain reliever, so I laid down on the sofa and held his hand. The light was waning outside and we had no lights except the Christmas tree. Next thing you know, the five Grands (six if you include me, adopted into the clan) all laid on the floor like J and told stories, some that were sad and others that made the laughter almost make you want to fall onto the floor.

Like the time J’s cousins pretended to be a girl in grade school coming by to ask J to marry her. He agreed to be put down the laundry chute instead of answering the door. Of course it was a cousin that was ringing the door bell. I laughed ’til crying.

At one point a child ran by and his mom was lying on the floor. Normally she would have gotten up. Child said “he disrespected me!!!” She laid there and said “work it out.” The cousin disrespecting him was three times his size. They all worked it out and get along.

We have so many stories. I do. Don’t talk about the laundry chute. My husband may be a few years younger but is bigger and taller and they’re cousins and good friends. Here’s to family! Dee

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Posted in Editorial, Family, loving life

Here Comes The Sun

Posted on March 7, 2016 | Leave a comment

As the Beatles sang, I never imagined my life as it is. When my husband is home and we’ve our old dog Zoe I lift her up to the bed at night, all 32 lbs. of her. If the shades are up when the sun starts coming up (in summer before 5 a.m.) she jumps down and becomes UBD.

UBD is under bed dog. She comes to my side so I can’t get away as I am the morning person and food wench, and she crawls underneath our sleigh bed to get her beauty sleep. I don’t know anything that 20 hours of sleep per day wouldn’t cure as she’s gorgeous. In “people years” she’s got nearly 20 on me.

This morning at 6:45 a.m. I felt a paw holding onto my arm. Lo and behold, it’s guest dog L. Zoe was sound asleep on my husband’s pillow. Yes, shades were down halfway so they can see and I protect the art. “Hey, Aunt Dee, get up, I want to go out and have my dinner!”

I got up and took them for a nice walk and fed them then they played and went to separate rooms to soak up the sun (they heard you, Sheryl Crow). Zoe asleep, no sun. Zoe awake, all sun until noon when there is no direct source, only reflected.

Husband will be back this weekend, so will L’s mom to take her home. I was wondering how we would all sleep together but there’s no need. They return on the same day. How’s that for planning?

Our guest, I looked up the breed, is a mix of Borzoi and Whippet. When Zoe and I are alone on a walk everyone pets her and says this Aussie mutt is cute. When we’re with L everyone says “She’s beautiful, what kind of dog is she?” I’m expecting a rush for purebred dogs like L in our neighborhood shortly. Perhaps I’ll stop saying exactly what breed she is.

Now, if a magic elf (not the funny, enigmatic Will Ferrell) could somehow do our taxes all would be well. Cheers from Dee, Z and L

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Posted in editorial pets, Family, food, job description, loving life, Recipe Ideas, Zoe

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Gotcha!

Posted on March 6, 2016 | 1 comment

When I met my husband over 14 years ago he’d been dot-bombed, his company laid off over 1/3 of the work force. Last hired, first fired. They actually left “fire staff” as a to do item on a white board then left the conference room open. That made everyone’s weekend enjoyable…..To cut his losses, three weeks after we met he went back home.

Two weeks later he was back and staying with relatives. I found him a home 1,000 feet from mine. He couldn’t visit me (tried once in a Darth Vader voice/mask for dinner but it didn’t last five minutes) because he’s deathly allergic to cats. So I moved part of my kitchen to his place, as I’ve a well-appointed kitchen, then part of my office, then when we eloped, all of me and my stuff. The cat went to live with a Corgi neighbor he loved for years. The Corgi used to put Mickey’s entire head in his mouth, very gently. Yep, Mick did love him. All the dogs used to come by, even run away from home, to see Mick. I’d get a call early morning. “Is he there?” Hold on. Yep. I’ll take your dog inside and watch for your car.

J and I met three weeks after 9/11. He was back on Thanksgiving and starting early January with his new job and abode he liked to come home for lunch. He had an hour, so it was a 12-minute commute each way, lunch, and he’d snooze for about ten minutes while I did dishes before heading back.

One day I was making grilled cheese sandwiches and he walked in and said, “so that’s how you do it!” It was like my college roommates being startled that I could make brownies or mac & cheese from scratch!

The kicker was when I was kind of settling into his kitchen and he walked in one lunch time and I’d been washing plastic zip bags (never those in which meat or cheese were stored) and storing them over the sink and appliances to dry.

We did meet all the parents before we wed but he’d only met my mother at that point. The first thing I thought of was to grab all the wet plastic zip bags and stow them. All that went through mind those few seconds was “what would his mother do?” Well, it turns out my mother-in-law is a salt of the earth, frugal, industrious woman who thinks nothing of re-using things. Phew!

In other words, I did good, and gained a husband for life. He’s with his family, parents and grandmother, this weekend. Sometimes one does the right thing for the right reasons. I washed those bags and have created a food snob. He’s visiting his Nanny. I should say “our” Nanny because after our pre-engagement interview I told her I was so glad the “grands” had a Nanny. I never knew mine, grandmothers or one grandfather. So she offered to be mine. What a kind lady she is. With love for family, spouse, kids, pets and more, Dee

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