Category Archives: Editorial

I always wondered why, when I moved during the summer before my junior year of high school, I was elected co-captain of the gymnastics team my first week in a new school.

My co-captain and I met once at the gym that day, then she missed every practice and every competition for two years. Senior year we had a vote on who was to be awarded the best of the team at the end of the year and she won by one vote, mine. I thought it inappropriate to vote for myself.

She was out for a Varsity letter and to go to college for field hockey. I was going to college for brains but she needed the leadership credentials of two teams, even though she was a no-show for ours. I wish she’d told me, not that I would have participated in my team’s and my school’s hoax.

Still, I did well for my team. I recruited a fellow student “ringer” who aced all the competitions. Then, when she placed second in the State competition she stormed out of the gym to the locker room. I went in there and she said that all of us were losers and shouldn’t have been on “her” team. I told her that this team had rooted for her and stood in the stands for her all season. She could go do that for them or leave and forfeit her standing. Five minutes later, she was out there on the floor rooting for her team louder than anyone else.

I always thought the best of my high school coach but now I know what was going on at the time. While it sickens me to think what coaches do to help some athletes succeed by conning other students, I think I made the best of the situation at the time, by really being a team player.

After all, it was our Team and we held together with faulty equipment and concrete floors in the gym. My ankles are weak now and I still remember shin splints. may even remember how to bandage them with athletic tape for a meet.

What did I get out of this? I should have been bitter and angry but am not and always recommend being a team player. Don’t harbor bad thoughts about someone who is smarter than you. Always surround yourself with the best people and let them do their jobs. The best thing that can move you up the food chain is being a mentor to a fantastic staff. Help your staff leave for worthwhile reasons (marriage, children, better job, spouse transferred out of state) because these folks will remember your kindness and support.

When I confronted the HS gymnastics diva I did it in the locker room, not in front of our peers. I gave her the option to go home or come out and be a heroine. That, she was. I was her friend, and her captain, and she had a team. We all did. Cheers, Dee

Let’s start first with parents, the usual and unusual. Of course there are the birth parents, who provide nature and nurture and try to mold you into the person they would have liked you to be, if you were born a boy.

Of course grandpa was there in the summer and re-roped our 150′ cliff dive down to the creek with hand-holds every foot. Yes, I was the eldest son until my little brother was born seven years later.

It took me until now to realize that for years I’ve had “extra” parents and mentors and never put it all together until now.

G & J taught me two different things. G taught me how to think and to question authority. J had an artistic bent that probably sent me to art history classes in college.

Col. B and Elsa were always there for me in high school, and Elsa taught me to cook exotic things like eggplant. I now have her recipes in my mother’s old recipe box. Daughter Julie and I were best friends and try to keep in touch.

Capt. A.J. and wife Joan are still my other parents. He married us over ten years ago and we were at his interment at Annapolis. It was only fitting that Sec Nav came out that day because she not only got a 21 gun salute for her husband, she got a 21 cannon salute and parade and got to meet Sec Nav and got a coin for her husband’s 35 years of service to the USNavy.

At my age I don’t think I’ll have any more parents, but I did gain some good friends along the way, including my in-laws and now brother John. Also I’ve finally gotten myself a grandmother, Nanny, who now counts me as one of the “grands” which is grandkids and not greats and beyond.

As to mentors my first was Mrs. Johnson in 2nd grade. All my music teachers were terrific including Mrs. Smith, Mrs. P., Mrs. H. Also Mr. B who taught me math so I could understand it. After he explained it, I could see it and it all made sense.

High school it was Breezy (rip) and I hated my French teacher but she was good for me. I loved my coach and was captain but she should have pushed me more.

College, I had two priests who shaped my academic life. One taught me about art and the other about life. I was a blank slate when I got to college and after a year of floundering am glad I met them both. Art is gone although I have taken up the torch and have tried to see nearly every slide he showed me from France to Greece to Italy and Scotland and London and here in these United States.

Life is there and it turns out my college degree may even help my husband’s career. Husband calls it “soft skills” but with years of consulting we may have something here. In my band as a 12 year-old, we sang “Teach Your Children.” Now you can do that and teach your parents well….. Dee