Tag Archives: Nanny

Wishing

I know more people like the grandmother who “adopted” me 14 years ago. I never really knew mine as they died before I was a year old.

She’s been undergoing some difficulties and it’s hard to be so far away and unable to visit right now. We love her and hope she’ll be up and on her feet swiftly.

Nanny came from a different age. All of her children, grands and great-grands have a sense of purpose, honor, and honesty.

Today I was scammed my a company trying to buy my husband (from dog Zoe) a gift for Fathers’ Day. My bank refused the first payment as fraud. The second, I called in and told them I’d sue if they charged me for two more of the same items.

I think I have to call the bank back as the only way they can stem these charges is to cancel the card.

Nasty people are around that just want whatever they can get without earning it. Guns, drugs, that’s not how we were brought up. While my husband and I grew up in vastly different places we never locked our front door or car. Think of others, tell the truth, apologize when you’re wrong. Work hard. Take care of your family. That is what it is about, and grandmothers who take you in. Cheers, Dee

Life

My father was in the hospital for surgery this week. So was Nanny, my husband’s grandmother. We cannot be in both places at once, and neither wants us hovering.

It makes one think how fragile life is and how many times can you demonstrate and say You Are Loved, in life. There is not a limit on this. I married a man who tells me he loves me at least ten times a day.

They’re going to try to fix Nanny, my Nanny now. She agreed to “adopt” me as a grand-daughter just before I eloped with her eldest grandson years ago. Yes, I had the interview. I never really knew my grandmothers as both died before I was a year old. We wish Nanny well in recovery and hope the Dr. has not needed to schedule surgery this morning.

Dad will be going to a top-notch cancer center for his next treatments after he’s well enough to travel. Staying on top of this is a priority because it’s family and I don’t want to go to a funeral any time soon. These folks make a difference in peoples’ lives and they are not allowed to leave with unfinished deeds. Dee

Integrity

It’s a tough thing to come by. Luckily I met a man who had a bunch of it. So did I and it burned me out trying to help people from themselves.

That’s work and I’m married to that man. I’ve been many things, including a consultant for many years. Trying to do the right thing for a client is very difficult. They hire you to do the right thing then fight every step of the way to keep any change from happening.

Even in a small organization, it is tough when the board wants you and the staff does not. I’ve had my car keyed, lies spread about me and books cooked to assure I couldn’t revitalize a key program and make many times profit for the organization, not a penny for me in an effort, funds realized prior to the efforts, plus more bang for the buck for public and community relations and jump-starting a new education program that has thrived ever since.

When the new director came on board he took great pleasure in letting me go his first day. The next morning he called and demanded a meeting. I went. He asked for my keys then said he wanted everything in my brain and in my files (of course he had copies of everything I and the past development director had done) over the past three years. He really wanted a confidential study whose public results he had but the private data was, at the Board’s request, not accessible to them or anyone because the study was about them and their role in the future of the institution.

I told the new director he had all my documents and spreadsheets and should have asked me for all the development information in my brain before he fired me. Of course the confidential study is still locked in my files and I said I would have to be present at a Board meeting where they voted to give it to him. The first thing I did was call the Chairman and met with him briefly that morning and told him what had happened. He laughed.

At the next Board meeting, the new director was fired. I was brought on as a committee member and my audience development ideas approved by committee could be brought to similar management because these votes came from the Committee and Board. I was made a Trustee for a few years. It started out as a quarter million institution and is now much more flush and professional than that partially because I and others got hands dirty and did what needed to be done. Yes, I created FlexTix. Kids for Kids was my standout work. Revolutionary back in the day.

I’ve been a consultant and board member for a number of years. In my younger years, 20 of them, I also did hands-on work in no-kill animal shelters and spaying and neutering feral cats so I know of love and loss and caring for others and doing your best for them when they might not care a whit about your efforts.

In business, one learns to cajole, educate, inspire, always learn from everyone, progress, coalesce and make goals reality.  Then go out by a lake with the teams and make some burgers and have a beer. Perhaps there’s a guitar and we sing.

No-one knows anyone any more. Nanny told me years ago to make sure my husband took a long-term job at a company and got a gold watch at retirement. I told her back then I’d try (that was before she okay’d me as the wife and her as the only Nanny I’d ever known) but the world is not like that anymore.

There is no loyalty. Or trust. One could be let go tomorrow and have nothing. Sadly for people with our talents it is a buyers market, but lest you think businesses need no technology or process or other improvements it is at your peril. When it becomes our market you’ll pay top dollar or go out of business. It’s that simple. You’ll file Chapter 11 and we’ll be on the upside.

Our tax money bailed out banks and insurance and car companies and so many others that are still secret. That’s why you’re in trouble now, because you never fixed anything, just sent traders out with bonuses to buy new Ferrari’s. And how does that play on Main Street where the fire department does the fireworks and everyone goes out to sit by the lake? It’s no Wall Street outside of NYC.

My husband always looks for meaningful work where he can make a difference in the world. That has always been his, our dream. He can fix anything, from a bank trading system to a grain bin micro-switch. Physics and agile development. He taught himself the latter and has credentials, whatever that means.

As for Nanny, my husband/your grandson could buy himself a gold watch. He does not wear jewelry except his wedding ring as he has an iPhone. Yes, it tells time. I love you for everything you are to our family and all you want for your children, grands, greats. Integrity. We love you for instilling that in everyone. Cheers! Dee

Thanksgiving and Family

Now that Ebola is out of our hospitals please let us keep it in mind. We will need to fight it better than we did AIDS, that denial will hurt us forever.

Now I can stop watching the faux news which only hits on whether Black Friday or Cyber Monday is the best shopping day. Now they all say it’s Thanksgiving Day.

Sorry, Nanny, thanks for the turkey, I don’t have time for dessert as the mall is calling and these are the best deals of the season. Retailers, you’re spoiling perhaps the one day a year when families get together and share a meal.

Hey, folks, instead of going to the mall, how about leaving the table after dessert and clean-up and instead of watching football, help plant trees or build a home. Or just stay home and play outdoor Qube, as we do.

I plan to be at my in-laws at least three days before Thanksgiving, to cook and visit family before my husband arrives. That’s what we do every year. I would never get up from Nanny’s table mid-meal and leave to go shopping.

Shop for what? My husband and I do not celebrate birthdays, holidays or anniversaries. Why buy extra stuff we don’t need? Before we married I made him promise not to buy me little things, Hummell  figurines or dogs, cats or angels. I mistakenly told a relative the other day, and it was agreed that it’s just more s*** to dust.

We’re on our own and not even together right now due to a contract. The most important thing we can give to our familes is enjoying time together. To me, that’s way more important than a great deal on that sweater or a pair of Jimmy Choo’s. Hug your family this holiday season. Dee

Thanksgiving

is different this year. My husband has been gone for nearly four months on a contract consulting gig across the country. I’m holding down the fort.

Great news is that he’ll be home in a few days, briefly, then meet me at Nanny’s 1,500 miles away for Thanksgiving. Sadly, I’m driving his car there and he’ll take it the rest of the way. He flies in, I fly home.

There is something to say for strategic planning. I’m not good at cards or picture puzzles but give me a problem and I’ll think about it and find ten ways to do it then awaken at 3 a.m. and have it down. Outside the box.

Interestingly my husband and I often come up to the same or very similar conclusion even though we go through very different mental processes to get there. He’s left brain/physics and I’m right brain/liberal arts. Yes, I’m sinistre and he’s dextrous, as handwriting is concerned.

The puzzle is that I can bring anything I want to Thanksgiving in the car and take as little as possible back on a plane or planes. My husband’s task is to take as little on a plane as possible to me at our shared destination while having enough casual clothing for Nanny’s, then driving with everything I think he needs for the next few months (simple things like a winter jacket and perhaps some corduroy trousers for weekends).

We bought my mother-in-law a 1957 Necchi sewing machine, gorgeous, all metal. It’s in the car. So is 25 pounds of food. There’s another wrinkle to this puzzle. The dog can’t know I’m leaving so I’m taking one thing out at a time. Yes, she will have a responsible young woman staying here with her but gets upset when my husband and I leave with suitcases.

Thanksgiving has led me to many thoughts of food, as I started 12 years ago as a girlfriend who brought some spiced almonds and cashews to place on Nanny’s kitchen table for noshing. I’m a northerner in southern territory and would not even think to make a side dish or dessert and compete with the southern ladies.

Now there are at least 35 desserts but as a 12 year wife I get to bring up to seven dishes, melding the war of northern aggression with the south that will rise again. M-I-L and I literally dance around the kitchen for days cooking.

This year, I’m just getting started: spicy almonds and cashews (Epicurious); boursin and toasts; Dee’s marinated Kalamata olives; cranberry spread; brussels sprout and cauliflower gratin; corn and chorizo casserole; and mincemeat tarts.

There’s always a lot of meat at these gatherings and as we all age some of us and younger generations want to be at least part-time vegetarians. I help out in that regard. No, I do not put a sprig of parsley on a meaty plate. Nor do I place naked broccoli on a platter. With sixty guests there are vegetarians and I like to provide something satisfactory. It may not be the healthiest meal in the world but it’ll be tasty and perhaps have some toasted pine nuts in/on it and some Parm.

There are gifts in the offing as well, but I cannot tell of that, as I look forward to our annual family gathering. Cheers! Dee

ps I went to the bank and got $20 in quarters. Last time I went through this stretch of road there were no people, I’d run out of quarters so threw the toll booth a dollar bill. Their receipts added up at the end of the day but for two years I’ve kept the receipt in case there’s a warrant out for my arrest.

pps Italian change purse from Dad. $20 in quarters for toll booths. In the car. I’ll keep secretly packing from the dog, another week and a half. D

 

 

Words

When I used the guest bathroom at my Aunts’, both were English teachers who are going to scold me for my punctuation but not necessarily for content or spelling.

There was the big old OED, yes, a dictionary, on top of the toilet. By the time I got out I was supposed to have chosen a new word, its’ meaning and use it in a sentence.

It is interesting that my husband was read the Encylopaedia Brittanica by his, she’s agreed 12 years ago to be OUR Nanny, starting very early in life. We also had a set of EB and I learned much from it just reading from day to day.

One may say we led separate lives and we did until later in life. We both had dairy, education (science vs. liberal arts), and a will to make life better both for business, non-profit organizations, and us.

Words are difficult when transmitted via phone or email. All I know is that my husband is sick with cold/flu and I’m 2,000 miles away and can’t make him chicken soup or herbal tea.

The answer is tuppence, feed the birds. I’ve seen Saving Mr. Banks again and perhaps childhoods like that made people more creative as they aged. I think we use words because we had good parents, and one had grandparents, to show us the way. Supercalifragisticexpealidociously yours, Dee

ps I never used that in a sentence or explained it. We must ask Mary Poppins!

 

 

Giving Thanks

Journey equals giving one’s husband a trip of a lifetime, a trip home. It’s been a year and we’ll get to see up to 60 family members at Nanny’s and cook for at least ten at home.

First year I visited, before we wed, I got the Spanish Inquisition from his mother for five days, his Nanny for 45 minutes. Also his Dad who saw me in the car and told his eldest son “When are you going to ask her? It’s OK with me.”

It’s been 12 years now and I’m just a wife. Yes, we prep, cook, clean, put dishes away and do it all over again with paper plates. I’m making at least five dishes this year, even though I’m transient. When folks get used to stuff you’ve got to bring it! I’m changing up my cashew and almond mix making it more Texan , and my boursin will be tastier. More later.

Every year I give thanks for both my families, as they are who make me, me. Much love to my husband and dog, we will leave her but she will have the best care possible, at home. Happy Thanksgiving! Dee

Adoption

I was adopted 11 years ago over Thanksgiving weekend. It doesn’t matter that I was already in my 40’s. I never had a grandmother and Nanny came along and “adopted” me as a “grand” (there are many “greats” now) even a few months before her eldest grandson and I eloped.

She celebrated a birthday yesterday as my Dad did a few weeks ago. He wrote from overseas that “everybody needs a Nanny” and that I’m lucky to have one. That I am, every day. We tried to make a special experience for her last night at a concert and I hope it went OK. Neither she nor my father need physical gifts, an experience fits the bill. Unfortunately Dad just went to opening night and gala at the Bolshoi Ballet in Moscow so there’s not much for his eldest daughter to do in that arena.

My grandmothers both died before I was a year old. I’ve vague memories of “Bye Bye Blackbird” but that’s it, and I haven’t even tried to play it on my guitar. My Dad’s father died a few weeks before I was born but I knew Papa a bit until he died 30 years ago.

Grandparents are important. I believe they show a child stability, kindness, forgiveness and a sense of history. Dad wrote (email) this morning and told me that his grandmother was born in 1865 and his mother in 1898, Those were certainly different times.

What is interesting is that half of my husband’s family grew up less than 60 miles away from my maternal family in Switzerland, both German-speaking. Sprechen zie Deutsch? Danke. Let’s try English now as it is the language of computers and cell phones!

I know kids don’t read this blog, so involve them in your life and that of your parents. It will serve them well in the future. Even if they caution you to have your husband spent 40 years at a company and get a gold watch, I hedged there saying, Nanny, those kind of jobs do not exist anymore….. Dee

 

Adjusting

My southern family has its own tradition. We always had a family dinner where we mixed things up year by year. One year mom made a tangerine chicken with a cheesecloth topping to catch a tangerine and butter glaze, probably from Gourmet.

It was delicious. Our Southern family has 65 for dinner and sets up tables throughout Nanny’s house. Years ago I was so afraid of them and asking whether I would be accepted. My MIL questioned me, FIL told Jim after two hours in the car, “When are you gonna ask her, son?”

Then I had the Nanny interview an she told me he wanted my husband-to-be to have a job where he’d get a gold watch after 50 years. Sadly, I told her those jobs no longer exist. She passed me anyway.

We’ll go to Thanksgiving as always, only missed a year because of Black Friday and Jim’s work. I was so afraid of the array of food put out and the hierarchy of women from Nanny on down. Forget it, the men were all watching the Aggies battle the Texans or napping.

I started before we married with the spiced nuts. Then I added boursin. These were not for the buffet but for pre-and post-supper at the kitchen table. Then I taught the girls how to make boursin.

Then I introduced the stalwart spinach ball after we married, and gave it to Jim’s uncle’s new bride. After that, I knew these Southerners loved sweets so wanted to bring some of my own family into the mix. Mincemeat tarts were a hit. So was berry trifle.

Last year I made a spinach-cauliflower gratin because we now have a few vegetarians and one is Val the Vet who took our our Zoe’s hips ten years ago. It was a hit. I’m thinking of adding a corn pudding this year but here’s the thing.

My MIL has a wonderful kitchen and we work well together in it but adding dishes to the three-day marathon may be too much.

I now have to do the nuts (in advance from home), boursin, spinach balls, mincemeat tarts (I bring mincemeat from home), spinach-cauliflower gratin. and now a corn pudding? I think we can handle it.

After all, M has potato rolls by the dozen and brings gallons of iced tea and an Italian Cream Cake. People steal the potato rolls to take home, they’re so good.

Yes, we can do it. Thanks for being the best big sister I never had. And thanks to Nanny for hosting all of us every year. Thanks to all the ladies for your culinary efforts and to A and kids for prepping and serving and cleaning up. Then re-heating, serving and cleaning up. Thank the trash guys for picking up all those bags from a 65-person Thanksgiving. I give thanks before, after and during the day. Dee

Why I Don’t Make Chili

Many years ago, I decided to make a turkey and corn chili. All was going well, and I’d bought a really cute plant at the farmers’ market that I wanted to use. I’d never tried it before, it was called Thai bird chile. I used 1/3 of the amount called for to taste and re-season. Aaaaaaaach!!! Over the next couple of days I threw in everything but the kitchen sink to tame the fiery beast but to no avail. I froze it and threw it away on trash day.

The second reason is that I spent six years in Texas and chili is quite a conversation starter and ender. There are no beans in Texas chili. I have looked up LBJ’s (that’s our president Lyndon Baines Johnson for you young uns’) recipe for Pedernales chili, which his staff served up for thousands on the ranch in the 1960’s and would like to try that recipe one day.

The weather is turning and after this weekend, as it’s supposed to be nearly 80 degrees tomorrow, it’ll be time for hearty soups and stews. Just as I look forward to spring and summer for fresh fruit and asparagus, I look forward to winter and the opportunity to create tasty one-pot meals.

Today I made spiced almonds and cashews from a 20 year-old recipe. They won’t allow me to use it on the blog so I won’t tell you where I found it. So there. I kicked it up with more black pepper and used pure chipotle chile powder as I never use Americanized “chile powder” any more. Thank Penzeys.com for that. I need to put in an order there before I start cooking for the holidays! Half of the nuts are going as a hostess gift to a dinner party this evening, and the other half will be sent out Monday to Jim’s mother to freeze for Thanksgiving.

It’s a family rule (or perhaps my husband just thinks it is) that those traveling to Nanny’s for Thanksgiving don’t need to bring food along. Permit me a correction, the women in the family and those who’ve married into the family don’t have to contribute food. The men are content to bring themselves, eat, belch and watch football. Most of the ladies bring Southern desserts and there’s no way I’m going to compete in that arena. I’m no baker. I concentrate on “nibbles” that stay on the kitchen table throughout the day and evening, like spiced nuts, herbed cheese and crackers, and spinach balls. Though I gave spinach balls to the newest wife in the family as her signature dish.

We don’t have any idea how many people will be at the house this year, only that we missed a year and look forward to seeing everyone. I’m sure Jim’s brother will go out deer hunting early in the morning and I’ll help cook breakfast for however many there are. Jim’s mom Margie makes the greatest potato rolls and they will have been rising overnight and ready to bake before we head out to Nanny’s. Over the river, if not through the woods. I never knew my grandmothers so Nanny agreed to be mine nearly ten years ago! Thank heaven for grandmothers. Cheers, Dee