Tag Archives: loyalty


There seems to be none in life or in the workplace. My husband calls me sneaky because when he’s away and I’m new to a neighborhood I find my way around traffic snags and road closures to get the best groceries for dinner.

The sneakiness is in my mind. I think outside the box to do whatever I need to do to help us live our lives and take care of ourselves. Nothing illegal, I assure you.

I recently worked through two fighting governments to build a crosswalk. Don’t worry, no-one ever stops for us. I helped a child who wanted to work with his Dad in Revolutionary War re-enactments, because his mere presence would make him eligible to the National Guard, at age 11. At 3 a.m. I got the idea and ran to work to to re-write the law to make it happen. Today it would be Afghanistan. Think about it. I fixed it.

I created an event that re-invigorated an arts institution by having all the tumblers in place, and they made me a Trustee for that (that means working for no money) then dumped me because I made things happen and they wanted to be sentient for a decade. I was a breath of fresh air most organizations fight and can not accept.

Always brought in as an agent of change, it stops the moment of hiring. Resistance, hatred, one client even keyed my car. I was fired after making a small-time business into a big one though events, press et al. A day later the new exec called me in, demanded my key and said he wanted everything I knew about the organization, including documents secret from the board and everything (he had copies of everything else). I gave him the key.

I told him he should have asked me for what was in my brain yesterday, when I was paid, and that even if I was being paid I’d have to go to the Board meeting with him and get a majority vote to divulge that secret information. He was upset.

The former chairman, to whose office I drove, laughed and the new exec was canned within a month. Come on, he used to call my office at 8:55 to say I was late for a 9:00 meeting. What a jerk. He may be working in fast food now. I’ll have a double burger with cheese. Fries and a Diet Coke.

Few are loyal. The circle of trust (thanks, DeNiro) works many ways. Be in it with your family and friends this season. All good wishes, Dee





It’s a tough thing to come by. Luckily I met a man who had a bunch of it. So did I and it burned me out trying to help people from themselves.

That’s work and I’m married to that man. I’ve been many things, including a consultant for many years. Trying to do the right thing for a client is very difficult. They hire you to do the right thing then fight every step of the way to keep any change from happening.

Even in a small organization, it is tough when the board wants you and the staff does not. I’ve had my car keyed, lies spread about me and books cooked to assure I couldn’t revitalize a key program and make many times profit for the organization, not a penny for me in an effort, funds realized prior to the efforts, plus more bang for the buck for public and community relations and jump-starting a new education program that has thrived ever since.

When the new director came on board he took great pleasure in letting me go his first day. The next morning he called and demanded a meeting. I went. He asked for my keys then said he wanted everything in my brain and in my files (of course he had copies of everything I and the past development director had done) over the past three years. He really wanted a confidential study whose public results he had but the private data was, at the Board’s request, not accessible to them or anyone because the study was about them and their role in the future of the institution.

I told the new director he had all my documents and spreadsheets and should have asked me for all the development information in my brain before he fired me. Of course the confidential study is still locked in my files and I said I would have to be present at a Board meeting where they voted to give it to him. The first thing I did was call the Chairman and met with him briefly that morning and told him what had happened. He laughed.

At the next Board meeting, the new director was fired. I was brought on as a committee member and my audience development ideas approved by committee could be brought to similar management because these votes came from the Committee and Board. I was made a Trustee for a few years. It started out as a quarter million institution and is now much more flush and professional than that partially because I and others got hands dirty and did what needed to be done. Yes, I created FlexTix. Kids for Kids was my standout work. Revolutionary back in the day.

I’ve been a consultant and board member for a number of years. In my younger years, 20 of them, I also did hands-on work in no-kill animal shelters and spaying and neutering feral cats so I know of love and loss and caring for others and doing your best for them when they might not care a whit about your efforts.

In business, one learns to cajole, educate, inspire, always learn from everyone, progress, coalesce and make goals reality.  Then go out by a lake with the teams and make some burgers and have a beer. Perhaps there’s a guitar and we sing.

No-one knows anyone any more. Nanny told me years ago to make sure my husband took a long-term job at a company and got a gold watch at retirement. I told her back then I’d try (that was before she okay’d me as the wife and her as the only Nanny I’d ever known) but the world is not like that anymore.

There is no loyalty. Or trust. One could be let go tomorrow and have nothing. Sadly for people with our talents it is a buyers market, but lest you think businesses need no technology or process or other improvements it is at your peril. When it becomes our market you’ll pay top dollar or go out of business. It’s that simple. You’ll file Chapter 11 and we’ll be on the upside.

Our tax money bailed out banks and insurance and car companies and so many others that are still secret. That’s why you’re in trouble now, because you never fixed anything, just sent traders out with bonuses to buy new Ferrari’s. And how does that play on Main Street where the fire department does the fireworks and everyone goes out to sit by the lake? It’s no Wall Street outside of NYC.

My husband always looks for meaningful work where he can make a difference in the world. That has always been his, our dream. He can fix anything, from a bank trading system to a grain bin micro-switch. Physics and agile development. He taught himself the latter and has credentials, whatever that means.

As for Nanny, my husband/your grandson could buy himself a gold watch. He does not wear jewelry except his wedding ring as he has an iPhone. Yes, it tells time. I love you for everything you are to our family and all you want for your children, grands, greats. Integrity. We love you for instilling that in everyone. Cheers! Dee


Know what you are doing. Grants have replaced me with a kid out of college reading a book for dummies just because he’s cheap. A few months later my phone rings and I’m back on the job.

Know good people. I do. I’ve learned from them for 20 years and if I get out of retirement they’ll have my back and I’ll do the same, but I’m a bit rusty so give me a moment. Kick in wisdom.

Don’t be cocky. Learn from the masters. I have a few. Some business-related, some personal. It’s a loyalty thing and they put you through their paces. If you’re in, you’re in.

I know this has covered more territory than it should but wisdom says if you know it, you can do it. Dee