Tag Archives: compromise

Similarities and Differences

My mother made a beef stew Dad didn’t really like, even though it was his Mom’s recipe. I make a beef stew that started in Normandy. My husband loves it over Italian pappardelle noodles. France and Italy, working together, imagine that.

We love a great view and have one, just not one we wish for. My husband craves meat and potatoes. When he’s gone on business I eat fruit, veg and yogurt. We get along, for nearly 15 years. I’ve an aged NY Strip for him I bought last weekend and unfortunately had to freeze. I may have some pasta with pesto. My home-grown basil is looking sad so I had to buy some.

Last night, awaiting my husband’s plane three hours late, he got in at midnight so I turned the tv off, I had watched the beginning of Mississippi Burning. I do not like negative or violent films before sleep because they cause nightmares.

My husband knows not even to take me to a Harry Potter film on opening day at midnight. I keep the romantic comedies/dramas to a minimum so we’ve settled in the middle, cop dramas. Compromise.

I wonder why nations and people cannot compromise. We’re all people. We eat several times a day, drink the water, may espouse another god but we’re all the same. We bleed red.

When my family went to visit Dachau 30 years ago there was no sign and the locals did not want to tell us where it was located. They were ashamed. We found the German WWII death camp and it was earth-shattering to me.

WWII, Korea, Vietnam, other wars including Afghanistan and Iraq. They’re not about people, they are about resources and our young people should not be over there searching for “freedom” and dying by IED’s because there is no freedom or honor among tribes nor can we make it be so. If we want oil, buy it, not with lives. Our government bailed out all the banks and insurance companies, why not bring our kids home and write a check?

One more thing, in countries where women are chattel, cover themselves except to see and must be escorted by husband or family, men tend to be more violent. My husband works in an industry that has use for him in any country. He will not move, even short-term to some countries because of me. I have cogent arguments to which he listens. Yes, we discuss things and listen to each other and agree, to disagree or to meet in the middle. That is how things should work between people and nations. Hoping for the best, Dee

 

Kitchens

We met 14 years ago, three weeks after 9/11. That is what all of us talked about. An epic tragedy.

Three thousand miles away he was a living casualty of the dot-bomb era so he moved home three weeks after we met. In two weeks he braved Thanksgiving with my mother and he was back and staying with relatives for a month. I found him a home 1,000 feet from mine.

We moved him in, mostly computer, and got him an air bed that leaked. He tried to come to my place for dinner early on but I had a cat and he’s deathly allergic. He bought a gas mask beforehand so all he could say sounded like “Luke, I am your father.” Ten minutes later we were out of there to buy dinner.

Fourteen years later I knew we were in it for the long haul, he didn’t, so I decided I had enough stuff in my kitchen that I could cook for myself, and give him some essential items to use at his place as well. He brought one thing to his new kitchen, a colander. Before he started eating string cheese he may have made pasta once or twice. His mother gave this to him for college and we still have it. I went to cooking school and have every necessary tool known to humankind.

Funny story. I walked to Pier 1, 1/2 mile away and saw glasses. Six small, medium and large Picardie glasses for juice and beverages. It was $18. I got it immediately for him and tried to lug it home. One glass is light, 18 are heavy! I stopped every 300 feet and put the box down. Then I crossed the park. I went to his place and left them upstairs on the doorstep.  At that point I didn’t care if anyone stole them. I went through the bushes and home and there was a note. “Home sick from work and have aspirin. Do you have a glass?” Marriage made in heaven. Fate.

It worked out for the best. His mother and I cook together for days every holiday and I know now why he married me 12 years ago: I cook; write and edit; take good care of the dog; and when we walked on the beach that first date and looked at the sunset he held me and I was the perfect chin rest.  That’s love.

Oh, he also built me a pantry (I designed and helped). We’ve dishes for 18 and a table that seats four. Tomorrow is another day! Dee

Jim's Colander

Jim’s Colander

The Movie Pact

Our first date, in 2001, was at the movies, big screen and reclining seats, and then a Mexican dinner. We saw Anthony Hopkins in Hearts in Atlantis.

Years after marriage, we know several things. I love Star Wars, IV and VI especially, not the prequels. He is joyful to find me up on a Star Wars marathon and goes back to sleep knowing every detail that was changed from the original version.

It’s usually tit for tat. I get one, he gets one. Normally we agree but Netflix and Amazon Prime have thrown us for a loop. We live in the city and have two small cinemas close by. All the megaplexes are in the suburbs.

I think our paid channels should at least make us walk around the block before viewing. We always went to a movie every weekend afternoon and now we don’t.

Here’s the deal. My husband is always paying me back for giving in to a colleague and making me see “The Ring.” So he’s seen Memoirs of a Geisha twice, once with me, and once with a former friend.

Let’s just say it’s spy/intrigue/cops vs the Brontes and Jane Austen. And I love my spy novels. Horror films are off the charts. Nightmares ensue, The Ring.

When we disagree, seldom, I get one movie and he gets one movie. When in LA we stayed up ’til midnight to see the opening of Harry Potter without kids. Did you say movie buffs? Happy viewing, Dee

Pendulums

Yes, they swing. Witness Mitt Romney during the 2012 presidential campaign:

“There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.”

That is patently untrue. Now said party is trying to hold the entire citizenry of the United States of America hostage by shutting down the government to keep affordable health care from senior citizens, the poor and middle class. As I recall, Newt Gingrich tried that and it failed miserably. But you go ahead and don’t learn from your mistakes.

This moment I’m calling it Romney’s Revenge because he started this version of healthcare in MA then went against it as his party decided to kill it by calling it Obamacare and saying our President was not a US citizen. They were lame attempts that failed in the end.

A party that tries to tell us how to live our lives and that we’re not worthy of being citizens in this great nation, then licks its wounds after political losses and blames voters for it, is on the wrong path.

To Republicans, you cannot want to win and not include independents like me, and exclude everyone you don’t like from the tent for being Latino, gay, or all your touchpoints. The tea partiers don’t bring anything to the table and ostracize potential voters.

Why do I tell you this? I am a moderate. I would prefer the political pendulum swing from 60-40 for whatever party is in power. Personally, I believe the fewer laws passed in Congress each session the better, like the budget and one or two major issues per year. And limit the pork barrel budget.

I see more money going into campaigns and much longer campaign lengths that may start the day a servant of the people is elected. You’re elected to represent us, not you.

Right now I see an avaricious Congress only looking into posturing for next year and the Presidential election and ignoring the people they have been elected to represent. That goes for both parties but mostly for the desperate one which is grasping at straws. Trouble is, it’s a hurricane and straws can only go so far.

I am concerned that the Republican Party’s cow-towing to the extreme right wing troublesome not only for the party but for the country. When the platform is all about exclusion, who is going to vote for your candidates? You do the math.

When there is a close electoral win in Senate or House, there was a need to talk across the aisle. Gifted legislators such as LBJ, Tip O’Neill, and Sam Rayburn knew that. Now everything seems fragmented and I’d love to be a fly in those hallways to see if you even say a brief “good morning” to your political opponent.

Perhaps many of us would like to know if you ever talk with each other as that would be telling. In the meantime, could you possibly spend a few moments thinking about the welfare of your constituents and of the American people instead of yourself and your re-election campaign? Thanks, Dee

Vegetarian

Yes, I’m thinking of it. My husband has been away the past two weeks on business and I’ve been vegetarian. No, I haven’t lost 20 lbs. or anything but all he wants is meat and potatoes.

He only likes beef, not pork and only sometimes if I disguise chicken it’s OK. Especially yesterday’s chicken piccata, no fish as I know he is deathly allergic to it. Beef is OK on the grill or in a stew, but not every night.

Tonight I made my ten-minute lasagne (on this site) but couldn’t find no-boil noodles so it took me longer to cook the noodles, cool and cut them to size. In the end, he liked my choices (didn’t know about them) about a whole milk mozzarella and choice of ricotta.

It was his favorite lasagne to date. Let’s see, twelve years, four-hour lasagne, ten-minute lasagne, and now it’s about an hour before placing it in the oven. That’s what marriage is all about, compromise. I think he liked the pasta’s frilly edges that got crispy. Cheers! Dee