Tag Archives: TSA

NYC Has a Few Clouds

This means my husband’s plane home has a 200 minute delay and growing. Where I grew up (not NYC) a few clouds didn’t change the nation’s air traffic pattern. Where my husband’s family owned a dairy in Texas no weather ever stopped them milking cows when he was a kid.

My husband has a days’ worth of meetings and an entire day’s worth of delays, not flight time, delays. This is irresponsible for the airports, airlines, TSA and everyone at port authorities who make big money because they’re quasi-governmental agencies and do not have to report salaries or bonuses to we, the people, who pay them.

We pay a lot of taxes. We expect the FAA and regulated agencies to perform when a person buys a ticket on any type of public transportation. We expect that when there is a meeting in another state, some form of public transportation (usually a plane) will be available to get to said meeting. Not eight hours of delays for eight hours work.

It may stretch to more hours and my husband will have to stay overnight in another city and not at home with family. He’s supposed to get in at nine tonight but now it’s nearing 1 a.m. because of a few clouds. Get over it. I know you’re flying and doing the more “important” routes before you let my husband board a plane. You’ve probably said the plane had a technical malfunction and will keep people there for hours, you already cancelled two planes for this destination and those folks will go first and the airport hotels will fill up and my husband will have to sleep at the airport. Shame on the FAA, airlines, airports. And the TSA.

Not so cheerily, Dee

What Would I Do?

No-one would say a million these days. Let’s say I played the Powerball lottery and perchance won $82 million.

What would I do? What would you do? First things first, tell my husband. Then this is about me and what I would want. This is my fantasy, not his.

First I’d bankroll a start-up for anything my husband wishes to do. Then I’d make sure every child in our family gets a college education and do with it what they wish after graduation.

I would rent a home somewhere in some mountains while we buy land and build our dream home. It would be small (2/2) and simple with a three car garage (one space for guests and enough room for a tool shed and gardening table) and heated garage and driveway.

Out back would be a MIL flat fitted behind the walls with disabled access devices (think rails in bathroom) prepared for but not installed, with room for at least six guests that would be annexed to Jim’s home work place and perhaps  a writing place for me, but I’d really prefer a nook off the kitchen with old file storage elsewhere, as I pay the bills and want to hear noise before something boils over, starts to burn or if the dog needs anything.

I’d get a team together that covers legal, financial, administrative, home and other needs. I would start a foundation that would help children and animals and encourage girls to study math and science, also have all parents involved in the education of their children. Spay and neuter pets and ferals. And probably human/civil rights that keep the NSA from reading this email because their initials are in it. Thanks for reading! Say hi to your folks in Utah!

Travel is definitely on the itinerary, for educational purposes. if it wasn’t for TSA tagging me as the terrorist grandma every time I fly while my husband stands aside luckily holding my purse, laptop and passport awaiting my fate before going to the gate, I’d fly more often. Ye gads, imagine 20 years from now and they take my wheelchair apart and lay me out on the floor while they disassemble it and leave it to me, on the floor, helpless, to put it back together.

So sorry an agent got killed this week. That sad incident should have never happened but it really makes me not want to fly over Thanksgiving but we do have a flight. I’m sure that they are going to triple down at TSA over the holidays. Let’s just hope I don’t get taken to that “special room.”

Yes, last time I flew they needed to pat me down after the naked scanner. They asked if I wanted a special room and I said no, let all 2,000 people walking by see you feeling my breasts and crotch so they know what they’re about to discover is yet to come. Then the first TSA woman left without explanation and I stepped off the pad and two TSA agents stepped up out of nowhere ready to beat or tase me and told me to stay put. The first agent was looking for bomb residue on my hands. Of course there was none. I think they may have been putting on a show for their bosses and I was the victim that time. My husband went through with TX BBQ on dry ice, no problem.

I will add access to a private jet to my fantasy list. Yes, I’d put my husband through flight school and perhaps buy him a small plane. This is for you, dear!

Nothing for the dog. Perhaps another $35 collar for a “wardrobe.” She’s happy as is. Ours would be the rural home to which every stray/feral would visit. That is my dream as well as we cannot have a cat indoors (husband’s allergies).  I would build a warm/cool, interesting facility for them outdoors, as I miss seeing them and I’m glad this dog person, 25 years ago, became a cat person as well.  Wishful thinking, indeed,

I was taught to reach to meet my destiny by one parent, and to stop and consider my limitations by the other. It certainly has been a path, unique by any standards but next I get to tell you about our place and how that will change the world! Dee

Signs

Sign, Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign

That was from 1971, Five Man Electrical Band. They’re worse now, but not about long hair.

The rules for our condo/apartment comprise a lengthy lease with rules about dog poop, combined with a printed brochure that encompasses more rules.

We went to a mall restaurant (not food court) for lunch yesterday and they have one huge page, on the opposite side of their map at every entrance, for how kids must behave. They even kick kids out at 5:00 on weekends.

Now, I know that these are only put in place to allow HOA’s, managements to kick people out that they don’t like for violating even one rule (your TV was too loud). It’s all about liability.

Children cannot gather in groups of larger than four. Monitor that.

This leads me to think that management companies have gone over the top with liability issues, and parents have been absent in teaching their children manners.

Whatever failings my childhood family had, we had dinner together every night. We talked about everyone’s day and when I was older, what was news that day. Then we had to ask to be excused from the table to do our homework.

I’ve even taken on some of my husband’s Texas traits. When you need to talk with a company or government agency, add “ma’am” or “sir” to the “thank you” and you’ll get nicer and faster service.

I don’t do this because it makes my life easier, though it does. I respect everyone who vies to make a living wage, if it’s my supermarket checker or TSA agent. That respect is conveyed in how they are treated. And I’ve been treated pretty badly by the TSA in the past! Turns out they were putting me through extended searches so they could smuggle drugs in another line!

Still, parents have to start early. Please and thank you. I’m sorry is a really good one to know. Fork and knife skills, Yes, ma’am, no ma’am. Thank you sir. I appreciate your time with me today. Thank you for the offer, I’ll talk to my husband and get back to you in the morning. Yes, I look forward to starting Monday.

You get my drift. But I did have to walk with the OED on my head for posture, and take ballet, piano and violin. Best wishes to the younger generations, Dee

Dear Congress-People

Please task the departments that we hire you to control to stop terrorism. Please stop treating all citizens like terrorists. Yes, I chose to be felt up in public because I wanted people in the security line to know what your agents were doing to me while I was trying to go to my husband’s home for Thanksgiving.

I got the naked scan, then a woman felt my breasts in full view of everyone nearby in the airport. She left and I thought it was over but a man stepped in front of me and told me to stay there, then they swabbed my palms for bomb residue. Of course I passed, and had to change clothing to return home. No metal, hair barrette, underwire bra gone. Still, I went through the normal metal scanner and was patted down but think it was just to show the new line that opened up where everyone had to go through the naked scanner that this line also meant business.

I would not go into a private room for the breast scan because I wanted everyone to see this and in private, it probably would have been much worse. What does one do with one’s belongings when they don’t have a significant other around? Luckily my husband picked up my purse and laptop.

When are you going to realize that terrorists try something then go to something else? It’s time we put our best brains on getting a leg up on them, rather than always being ten steps behind. Shoes, belts, laptops, purses, underwear, where will it stop? Been there, done that.

The fathers of our Constitution would be aghast at teenagers super-glued to their iPods, but more so at the level of shame we have to submit to in order to fly home for the holidays. Where I live, only my husband can touch me where TSA did. Can’t we do better? Learn from the Israelis. They wouldn’t strip-search a 52 year-old married woman in front of her husband. May the best and brightest prevail, Dee

Oh, The Weather Outside…

The moon is reflecting off the new-fallen snow. We may get two feet of the white stuff before Thanksgiving, glad I put on the snow tires last week! Only one car has driven down the street and otherwise every driveway is pristine with 3-4″ of snow and I’m wondering why I didn’t spray my new suede hiking boots (bought for Yellowstone and never worn). But I have winter boots and wellies, depending upon the weather.

We fully expect the heavy equipment to roll out early morning. They’re really efficient here at moving snow. Yesterday while my husband and dog slept in, I listened to the mortars going off for avalanche control at nearby ski venues. That’s a sound I haven’t heard in a few months!

Jim’s mother loves fruitcake so I wanted to introduce her to my favorite, panforte from Italy. Started in Siena, but this is a version I made for holiday gifts many years ago with hazelnuts and chocolate, dusted with cocoa. I don’t know when we’re going to make it, probably not in time for Thanksgiving dinner, but I have to go out and look for some of the ingredients because we have a Whole Foods here and I can buy dried fruits et al from the bulk bins so my suitcase isn’t stuffed with pounds of dried dates and apricots. I already have to bring a couple pounds of spiced almonds and cashews that have been in the freezer for a month!

Now is the time to make lists and keep up on the drycleaning (cleaners ate one of Jim’s shirts yesterday, and with the amount of plaid he has in his wardrobe I can’t for the life of me figure out which one!) and laundry, wash the dog and get her nails trimmed. Clean the fish bowl. Figure out what to wear. Sort 500 balloons from Sweden to entertain thirty kids on Thanksgiving day. Oh, we did that yesterday. Yes, hubby is getting in some practice this weekend. A bee, an apple, and the piece de resistance, a neon tree frog hat with 5′ pink tongue. Oh, and a princess wand with a “string of pearls” and heart top, that was a first. If he works on a princess crown, and does a couple of dogs, space guns and pirate swords he’s good to go. If TSA lets him on the plane with his “busker bag” with several hundred balloons. He does have to carry a 2″ pair of child safety scissors ($1 value in case he has to dump them).

I’m hearing varied reports on the TSA, like Michael Chertoff recommended the Rapiscan “naked scanner” while his consulting company is invested in that company. That TSA is purposely “groping” passengers in order to scare them into using the “naked scanners.” That faces are not blanked out and TSA and other agencies keep these naked scans for whatever use they want. And my father just sent an email about the 4th Amendment (remember that one, that the Patriot Act threw out the baby with the bathwater days after 9/11, it’s about illegal search and seizure) that states unequivocally that a few suicidal lunatics set about to destroy the USA and from Bush to Obama, we’ve helped them out every step of the way by making a free nation one that our founding fathers never wanted it to become. Every legal resident of the USA is subject to having no constitutional rights inside our land and 100 miles from the border, and in any airport. We are forced to take off belts, shoes, jewelry, have a naked body scan or be groped in public before going to grandma’s house for an annual holiday gathering.

This is all wrong. Homeland Security only looks backwards, not forwards. Cargo is the problem, not innocent American citizens. There’s a shoe bomber, so we have to take off our shoes. Liquid, so no shampoo or lotion. Terrorists by definition have to find new ways to strike. Do you really think they’re going to send another shoe bomber, now that every American who flies within our country has to walk around barefoot or in socks or hose on a filthy airport floor?

I’ll get us ready to go over the river and through the woods, and make sure our home, dog and fish are taken care of as well. It’s always good to see family, even for a brief time. Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving! Dee