Tag Archives: love

The Candy Man

Love is in the air. I took our old dog Zoe out for a late last, last chance as her first one was too early.

Yes, there was a guy with two snickers bars and a package of M&M’s. He was giving them to his girlfriend because he finished off the last of  her Girl Scout cookies. Imagine once they’re married, telling that story to their kids and grandchildren.

I know a guy who was and still is in love with me. How do I know this random guy is in love? Who would do that if he were not? My husband moved halfway across the country two weeks after he left me. We’d been going out for three weeks. A former neighbor he introduced me to asked why he moved back and he said, “her.” And you thought he had me at hello.

Walking a dog introduces you to many interesting people and I’ve many stories to tell but I hope this one has a happy beginning, as did ours. Cheers, Dee

Heat and Light

Both are things we treasure in cold weather, especially as I witnessed a first ice fisher out there today, only a few feet from the jetty as the ice is thin.

We also treasure it in inspiration. I don’t remember cooking before age seven when I miraculously found a cookbook in a dusty village library while my mother was off to the grocery store.

The first recipe I ever cooked was from that book, Betty Crocker’s Boys and Girls Cookbook. It was curled carrots. I sliced carrots thinly, and placed them in ice water in the frig. Two hours later I took them out to serve. My grandfather was visiting at the time and he called them “suicide carrots.” Such was the beginning of my culinary life. Everything I cooked he thought he’d die from ingesting.

I wanted my grandfather, parents, siblings, friends and everyone to like me. I learned to cook. Perhaps the best thing my father liked was a cassoulet I made for him from Simca Beck’s recipe many years ago. I would love to make it for him again, with my brother, with two days in the kitchen and items from France I didn’t have. Or we could make it Italian. He may like it even better.

Aunts L and J were also wonderful mentors in cooking and proper English. They still love food and create food for those in need of a good meal, as volunteers.

I was devastated when my husband loved my ten minute (check blog) vegetarian lasagne more than my four-hour version with long-cooked Bolognese and boiled noodles. Then I realized if I made lasagne in ten minutes and cooked it for an hour we’d have more time together.

Lasagne = love? Food, sharing, togetherness, conversation, a toast, that is love. With my berry trifle, it’s also decadence.

As to food I’ve a final exam to pass. Our Swedish neighbor G taught me to make Kottbullar, Swedish meatballs, for us and my husband a few months ago and now I have to take the test and make it for him.

My challenge to Swedish G is true Texas chili, my riff on a classic 1962 recipe from Lady Bird Johnson that was served on the Pedernales ranch for 5,000 guests including JFK.

He’ll have to grind the meat, saute the onions and garlic, add spices and try it three hours later. Then he’ll have his test a couple of weeks later and make it for me. Food is love, darlin’. My husband loves G’s Kottbullar.

My view on life is that if anyone of any nationality or faith met another of a differing one and cooked and sat at a meal together there would not be wars.

Food is friendship, food is love, taste and sharing an experience. I am a complex person and use words to opine, not swards, guns or bombs. I think we spend a lot of our tax dollars for “diplomats” to dine with representatives of other nations. The food may be good but perhaps it is not enjoyed with the camaraderie that best represents our countries.

Savor. Let’s have presidents, princes, diplomats dig in a garden for their meal, together. Cook it, together, and serve, family style to their people. That may actually lead to a representative democracy here in the US of A. and may help other nations as well.

Early on my heat was an Easy Bake Oven. I used it three times. Cooking with a light bulb? Come on. From there I saw light. Thank you, everyone, for getting me here. Cheers! Dee

Chopsticks

I called Nanny to tell her what a wonderful, marvelous, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious grandson I married. Today, I figured out that Mary Poppins dropped in and left some fairy dust behind that made our childhood street a wonderful place to live.

My husband usually gets off work and comes home around 7:00 so when he called (I was walking the dog and of course, forgot my phone) it was shortly after five and he was very ill.

I think it was food poisoning, certainly not intentional but I looked after him all weekend. He’s allergic to anything that swims so if someone dunks his french fries in oil that has been used to fry fish… that could do it.

While I normally cook, he was well enough to go out Sunday afternoon and got me some spicy tuna sushi. He forgot the chopsticks. Luckily a kind waitress at a local Thai restaurant, after hearing he did not use chopsticks, had fashioned a set with rubber bands that one would give a three year-old. I took off the rubber bands and used those.

So what did I get in the mail? A set of five Chinese bamboo chopsticks hand painted with Peking Opera facial masks.

A week after we met we talked marriage in a hypothetical way and I said it was always about the marriage, not the wedding. I also told him it was unfair for a potential wife to get an engagement ring. We eloped, but only because my parents were divorced and it was unfair of me to ask them to sit in a small room together.

As to jewelery, we got two matching rings for our wedding, I’ve two magnetic golf bracelets to stem my arthritis, a pair of earrings I’ve worn day and night for over ten years and last year, a silver Claddagh ring I’ve always wanted.

No diamonds, I married mine. As we go through life together I’ll remember that he doesn’t want me to carry in bulky or heavy stuff, so orders it online. And he bought me chopsticks when he doesn’t eat fish. This one’s for Tommy and all the birthday parties we had in our garage. Pin the tail on the donkey up there, kiddo. Dee

Song in my Heart

Yes, I do wake with a song every morning, well, most. And I sing it in my head and sometimes, aloud. It’s usually old musicals and goes from Shall We Dance to … I can’t even think of them the next day.

Often I held a song in my head for weeks and hated it. Then I had the opportunity for another. So perhaps my mind told me that I need a song a day to make me and everyone else happy.

That may be what made me give up guitar. My teacher didn’t want to let me learn what I wanted to learn and was paying him to learn in private sessions. He was a drummer and didn’t care if I knew beginner chords and only wanted me to keep the beat and mess up all the time.

That’s not how I work in business or how I learn on my own time. Famous drummers may get the girls but the guitarists and lead singer do better. I’m married and only want to be able to play and sing for family and friends. I prefer to do the serious work to learn and do better and let the drummer play the drums, keep the beat and I’ll set the tune and do harmony (play second fiddle) from time to time.

Now I keep my nice guitar hydrated every few days but rarely play it. I’m still a beginner, was scared off by my teachers, Bible Belt guy and Drummer. I’ve a treasure trove of music, most of which I just downloaded free lyrics and figured out the chords myself.

Yes, Drummer and I tried to sing a song together and I went up a third in harmony and he followed me. He stopped and said “Oh, I bet you have perfect pitch.” I told him I didn’t know but my father said I did and so did two of my music teachers. From then on it was downhill. He was not nice after that.

The problem is that I don’t have the vocals to do anything pro, I can sing my own harmony to practically anything (not today’s ersatz music for kids) many can play instruments and I quit violin and piano as a kid and regret it. Yes, at 12 I had a band of three guitar players all with no skills and the other two were tone deaf. Now any teacher I find will have tremendous skills to teach me and I’ve wasted something my DNA gave me because I wanted to go to the mall with my girlfriends and I barely remember those girls’ names now.

In order to play basic guitar chords I was introduced to Pete Seeger, Peter, Paul and Mary, and Johnny Cash. They’ve become good friends by their music. Dylan, well I want to play many of his works but the chords are not yet known, I can sing them but not play them…. yet. I’m not a musician but would like schools to place that back into their curricula. Music translates to math. It is not something to cut for budget reasons.

Today I sing on road trips with my husband, especially when he’s asleep (don’t worry I am at the wheel), to CCNY and all my friends, and all in harmony. I could sit as a beginner at my guitar and sing Bob Denver’s song that could make my husband nearly come to tears. In the end it’s all blowin’ in the wind. Dee

PS There is Love (John Denver’s Wedding Song) and I always stand on your shoulders, my dear. Music in schools. All is love, Dee

Postcards and Memories

When I was a wee bairn, I was baptized and my Aunt J and Uncle D held me in their arms. They have been with me for many years, even though Aunt J died a few years ago, as did her sister, my mother.

In 2007 I called my Uncle from Scotland and asked if he wanted me to contact any of his family while we were there. He said his family left in the 1700’s to fight the French but if I walked into a pub and said his name anyone with that name would stand me a pint.

I never took him up on that one. Instead I looked like knew where I was going and after three days living there was stopped by every Japanese tourist asking directions. I just told them to avoid the post office and get postcards and stamps from the local sporting goods store then post them at the PO without standing in line.

People call him Saint D because he’s taken care of his family and so many others. My dear cousin visited him yesterday and he had out a postcard I sent years ago from Scotland. He read it, and remembered. His sons played golf at St. Andrews’ and we got to live around there for a few months.

What do I miss most from Scotland besides my friends? Bagpipers in the streets. I slept better there and the water was right from Loch Lomond and the coldest and best tasting I’ve ever had. Cheese, cheddar of course. Mussels. Salmon.

Oh, dear Uncle you come from a proud and noble heritage. I don’t know how much leeway Salmon has but I saw the sword of William Wallace, the marker at Melrose Abbey for Robert the Bruce and even toured Parliament.

Whilst not really free, the Scots are on their way, peacefully. May you spend your days with family, me included. I thank you for remembering me and the Scottish postcard. With love to family and friends. Dee

 

Turn on Dishwasher

This is the first post-it note I’ll ever save. My husband posted it on my monitor before a work call where these loud washing sounds were not appropriate.

It is also one of the most loving things he has ever done for me over the past years, partly because he’s not allowed in the kitchen except to get ice and a beverage.

Because of making most of the round pots and pans oval, rather than round, over the years going through our other kitchens he doesn’t cook and I do. I feed him well, perhaps too well.

I set up the dishwasher to turn on, all he had to do was push buttons. He did it. Is that love or what? Dee

Feet

Our relationship, which comprises nearly ten years of marriage, is measured in feet.

Before marriage, indeed three weeks after we met, my husband returned to Texas for two weeks, utilizing three linear feet, the minimum required by ABF Freight.

Two years later, post-marriage, I had brought in an entire kitchen, bedroom and office. He tells folks I cost him nine linear feet when we moved to Texas.

Years later, we lived in the Rockies for a few years in a furnished place and stored our stuff in Texas. A real bedroom, a living and dining room had been added to round out our lives.

A few weeks ago we moved in (still have a few boxes) and the cost, yes ABF once again, is 15 linear feet.

So, over ten years of marriage how can I give my love 12 linear feet??? Should we just renew our vows and have an ABF trailer at the site? Looking for ideas.

We live in a small space with great views and enjoy the people we’re meeting. I cook a lot and enjoy being able to walk to the store with a new cart he bought me that glides over the misshapen sidewalks and even preserves eggs!

Come to think about it, he’s jointly responsible for three of those linear feet so I only owe nine. And I did bring in an office and entire huge kitchen so he’s been able to use all that for eleven years so let’s take off another six.

But I do have a lot of old papers so three feet is all mine, which equals the three he needed in the first place so we’re even. I love you, dear! No more ABF trailers! Dee

Like My Menus

I also fall into place. Most of the people I know and love are true Type A personalities. I look for the job and narrow it down and something tells me to take one. When I haven’t waited for it my job has stunk.

Whether it’s a feeling in my heart or my gut, I know when something is right. That’s how I met my husband, how we got our dog, how I got our new temporary apartment with 24 hours notice, and they even furnished it in that time.

I know when a job is right for my husband and he’s only contradicted me once and it was a disaster. I don’t tell people this, they’ll think I’m a bit “teched in the head” but something/someone tells me the right thing to do. I’m not talking right vs wrong because I’ve been taught that from birth, just what is right for us now when a decision must be made about, say, a place to live. When I find it, I’ve found it. That’s it. Years later my husband says, “I love this place.”

Perhaps all those thousands of volunteer hours piled up and I get a break, but that’s not it because my husband was laid off, then after we paid to move, his credit card was hacked and I was just hacked last week as well. As I said to my brother-in-law, we have quiet times interrupted by utter chaos. And we get through those times, both quiet and chaos.

For those in our new town on Lake Michigan, I’m here. The right volunteer or consulting opportunity will find me. The Feminist Homemaker is in the ‘hood. Dee

Fragility

Life is fragile. We “lose” people. they’re not lost, they’re gone from us forever. We lose some and they’re still living, but still lost in a way.

When we’re young we think we’re invincible, in our 30’s and 40’s we go along and get along, doing all we can for our families. In our fifties we could be on top of the world but still faces and bodies begin to sag.

Then, I guess we’re to choose between Botox and plastic surgery or just getting old, hopefully together with someone we love. I prefer the latter.

Just as we become comfortable, parents begin to age and there are flights here and there in these times. We also begin to think of our own aging.

A good thing comes with this if one is lucky, and that is wisdom. It’s even better if someone else benefits from that wisdom that we can share. Luckily we are at an age where we can still obtain wisdom from our elders and impart it to a younger generation.

Many of our friends and family are gone but others remain and we hope to remain close to them for the rest of our lives while remembering those who went before us.

I will try my best to be closer to the family and friends I have. I will not make Christmas cookies, because they’d be overcooked or burned and I don’t make cookies. I may try a pannetone bread pudding this year but only if I buy the cake.

OK, I may make a trifle for Jim’s office, and dinner for any office and neighborhood “strays” or adult “orphans” from the neighborhood for Christmas dinner. It’s the least I can do. Hear than Andrew? And J, you can bring the girlfriend!  We’ll initiate her to the inevitable parent situation.

No, I’m not a matchmaker, just want your roads to be less bumpy than ours. Cheers and happy holidays to you and yours. Dee

 

Three Things

First, we have Thanks. Recently my husband told me he was continually amazed that when he gets home from work his dog and I say hello, dinner is nearly on the table and every stitch of clothing he’s worn for the past few days is hanging in his side of the closet or folded in drawers. That’s a big “thank you” from this guy, who’s not big on praise for everyday duties.

Now, Retribution. Charlie Rangel has been playing it fast and loose for many years. Today the powerful and shamed former chairman of the US House Ways & Means Committee was given censure by the House Ethics Committee. His penalty is, when the House as a whole votes to censure him, stand in the well of the House and listen to their rebuke of his egregious self-serving behavior. Think of taking multiple properties in NYC that were meant by law to help people who can’t afford one, much less four. That seems to be who gets these places, someone who can afford four, not just one. Remember Mayor Dinkins living in Mitchell-Lama housing that capped the income at way below what he was making as Mayor. But no-one in these places, the rich and powerful, ever get kicked out. Standing in a room on C-Span that no-one will ever watch does not even begin to address his wrongs. But the Good Old Boys Club sees wagging a finger at a colleague as the equivalent of several years in jail. That wouldn’t happen to his constituents in Harlem.

Last but never least, Love. My husband’s parents are back home and living a different existence from three weeks ago when they were in a major car wreck. It’ll be a while until life gets back on an even keel. They are adapting well, as we would expect. They’re self-sufficient farm folks who make do in a crisis. They are an inspiration to us and to anyone who knows them. We look forward to seeing them and all our family very soon, but not to naked scans and invasive pat-downs at the airport.

We wish y’all a happy Thanksgiving. Cheers, Dee