Tag Archives: domestic violence


Eight days ago I tripped and fell, while walking our dog, on a crosswalk I asked for and got designated. They do no re-paint it and no-one ever stops even though it is state law to do so.

I took a header that started with my knees, hand, shoulder and head and have the first black eye in my aged life, after years of athletics so I know how to fall. My husband was out with us on this serene late afternoon walk and tried to save me from a fall but the dog was between us and he could not do so.

Now, people will not ask the obvious question about my black eye because they think my husband beats me. Other than a few involuntary elbow movements during sleep over the past fourteen years my husband has never touched me in a manner unbefitting a gentleman.

Kids ask. They want to know the truth. I tell them my eye looks ugly but it doesn’t hurt. Look both ways (we did) and always wear good shoes with tread on them. Adults think my husband beat me so look down and ignore me. Where did we go wrong in life? A taxi cab driver actually stopped when I fell. I don’t remember that.

I fell on pavement. I told people about it. Nurses have advised me on how to care for myself. My husband insists on taking off the bandage every day. Next thing I know someone will call it in as domestic violence. It is vehicular harassment.

As for me, it’s a city/county dispute and no, I do not want to sue them for “my” crosswalk, just want it re-painted with slip-resistant paint. And a flippy thing in the middle that says it’s State law to stop for pedestrians.

Speed demons go up and down our street in rush hours. I’ve many bruises and now can reconstruct exactly how I fell. My knees will be swollen for months. Hand, I don’t know. Shoulder and eye, play the dice. But my husband tried to save me when I tripped. He has helped every day. There are good husbands out there, and great ones. I got a great one. He opened the car door, took my hand and always kept me in his heart.

I tripped walking the dog. Now I have to explain this to kids and I’m OK with that. Adults avoid me as I’ve the plague. I am an advocate and have written laws that governed millions of people, including human and civil rights. Why do adults who see a woman with a black eye always think domestic violence? I’m sure there are cameras out there, I may be able to have them pull the footage. Just like a cop show.

I’m Aunt Dee, just asked for vet recommendations yesterday. I’m Dee, the gal who brings treats like lasagne and pizza to staff. I took a spill that I’ll deal with for months. Please know even though my eye looks bad for now, I’m always here, now that I have two eyes to see through and write. Cheers! Dee


I’ve worked with shelter pets for twenty years and just saw a billboard yesterday that reminded me of how important it is to report abuse of any kind.

Years ago I volunteered for a shelter that was one of the first to take and hold pets until a domestic violence situation was concluded.

Bullies/abusers usually start with small animals, turn to pets, then their children and spouse. If someone makes a call that should be answered, ahem, listen to this shelters and domestic violence agencies who probably put callers on hold, that an animal is being abused chances are the family is in danger.

Often folks don’t want to tell on their neighbors if they think there’s a problem, and even if they’re concerned city agencies don’t pick up the phone and their hours are ridiculous. No-one who works can spend an hour on the phone or longer going to a shelter and standing in line.

When I got my first shelter dog in 1991, she’d been abused by a deputy sheriff and kids threw rocks at her and her brother. I started volunteering there the day after my family’s Collie died and she’d just come in as well.

I visited Chani every week even when I was in a neck brace and couldn’t take her out. The owner came to the shelter and asked for her brother, Buddy, but he’d been adopted. He didn’t want Chani.

A year later even in a no-kill shelter there was talk of euthanasia and a fellow volunteer turned staff member let me know. Chani was home with me the next day. For a while she had aversions to anyone in uniform, also kids. We had a good life together for another ten years.

She rallied in weeks and with basic obedience and some private training was the best dog and loved kids. Uniforms were still tricky but she never attacked, only barked when our neighbor came out in his dress whites and not shorts and a t-shirt.

When she died I had to tell all the parents and kids at the park, and all the dog owners. They all bought the city a tree in her memory, a tree that is thriving and since I don’t live there anymore I’ve seen Google Earth and talked with a photographer, and also a good friend there who has promised to place a cup of water on her tree for me.

My dog was an abused dog. I don’t know how she was abused but I rehabilitated her step by step. Now I wonder if this law enforcement official “graduated” to abusing his wife and children and think how horrible a situation I may have ignored just because our neighborhood loved my dog for ten years.

I will try to get animal agencies and domestic violence agencies together but BEFORE an angry person starts beating the dog or the kids, let someone know.

Pets are the gateway to violence towards people. I want to make sure people answer the call.