Tag Archives: childhood

Raising Kids

All families are unique, but I’ll just talk about mine, in the vein of “minding my own d*** business.” My parents had two families together. I was born 1 1/2 years before my sister and we grew up best friends/worst enemies (friends most of the time, enemies lasted about five minutes). My brother is seven years younger and the final sister, 11 years younger.

Born in 1958 and 1960, we were raised in my father’s type of strict German/Swiss style. It was a different world back then. I learned to read at five, and taught my sister so she would stop talking and let me read.

As we started school we got an allowance of $.50 per week for our daily/weekly chores. We had to make our beds immediately upon awakening and help set the table/do dishes every day, but every Saturday we took an equal number of slips of paper out of the “job jar” to tell whether we had to dust, vacuum, fold diapers for the little ones, things like that. The worst jobs were “ask Mom” and “ask Dad.” Then, they could make up anything, like help lay 3,000 bricks around the new pool.

The real worst one was when I pulled both “asks” until I learned how to play the game. One week Mom made me weed the garden. Then, sweaty, grimy and out of breath I asked Dad what he needed done. “Hand me that Phillips screwdriver. Now go play.” Whew!

One thing I remember vividly between school and extracurricular activities (violin, piano, ballet, choir) was that we were fined a nickel of that precious allowance every time we called each other a bad name. Names like stupid or idiot or crazy were fined (of course racist or sexist epithets were verboten and never uttered). We just learned other ways of speaking to each other and working together so we didn’t let our spat get to that point. I’m going to venture a guess that a certain ex-president never learned that lesson.

The second generation of kids in our family were born in the late 60’s in a much more laissez-faire environment. There was no job jar, no forced extracurricular activity and no fines for bad words.

One time I returned from college and heard Mom ask my little brother to set the table for dinner. He said “wrongo, Moose Breath!” And she laughed!!! I looked at my dear sister of my generation as we both wondered silently if we were in the right house.

Sadly, my husband and I married late and I was unable to bear children so we didn’t get to punish kids with our separate views on child-rearing. After all, he grew up on a dairy farm. When I asked what he did besides school as a kid all he said to me was “milk cows.” What fun we could have had, though! Just some thoughts early on a Saturday morning. Make sure you’re registered and VOTE! Dee

International Affairs

How to get people to work together is the think. We live in the USA. I just wrote a post about a childhood incident.

I’d like to think that as we age we become more wise. I know I have but just learned something today about personalities.

My sister cut off her hair, tangled as a child, and I had darker hair. We were supposed to go on vacation at 4 a.m. and my parents pretended not to know where the hair knot was from, the scissors. She held out for a long time, so I confessed and we could get on the road.

She was pardoned for holding out, I was punished for lying. She had cut hair sticking up from her head that was many shades lighter than mine.

Internationally in a political debate, she is the zealot and I’m the UN. That’s what my parents counted on that day and now I know why I am who I am. What did the global tribunal do? Blame the UN. I don’t keep up with Afghanistan but someday before I die, please let skilled diplomats do their jobs. Or hire more skilled diplomats.

There has to be some neutral ground. Afghanistan, Pakistan, why are we there? Vietnam. My old dad was conscripted after the Korean war. He ended up striping roads then managing an Army symphony division around Europe.

I am and have always been the mediator. Take it from me. Dee

ps There will never be a move called The Mediator. The closest you’ll ever get is George Clooney in Michael Clayton. He was the fixer. D

Baby Mouse, Barbie House

Yesterday I thought I saw a dead baby mouse after I picked up after our dog and properly disposed of her contribution. I kept Zoe away and the little thing raised its head.

When I was a little kid a mother mouse came in through the trunk of Mom’s car and had babies. My sister and I each took one and gave two to our neighbor boys. We were in the car at the store at the time so mama mouse never found her way back.

My sister’s died within the hour. They weren’t allowed inside so I made a nest in a coffee can and mine lasted 24 hours. The boys with the grassroots nature mom with seven dogs, many cats and a couple of horses saw them and immediately flushed them down the toilet. That was many years ago. I know if mama doesn’t come and pick up this stray newborn mouse tonight s/he is doomed.

My husband thought I was crazy but helped me anyway. I had an empty box of tissues ready for recycling and taped up one end. It’s getting colder here and I wanted the little one to be able to get in and out and be away from the wind.

I lined the bottom of the tissue box with a microcloth for warmth and when out there, filled a cap of a recycling Dr. Pepper bottle with some cream for sustenance. Now my father and in-laws are reading this. I did this for a purpose. Should I let this little one suffer? Others had seen the baby mouse but no-one helped it. I didn’t want human scent on it so my husband used a doggie poop bag to pick it up and place it in the temporary home.

The Pope is here. I missed his Congressional speech. I went to a Franciscan college and have even seen St. Francis’ robe in Siena but have yet to visit Assisi. For many years I’ve helped lost and surrendered animals. The baby mouse was just another endeavor, and all the four animals I adopted over 30 years were lost or surrendered to a shelter. All were spayed/neutered.

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Ah, the Barbie House. My husband and I met 14 years ago. He’ll be away on a new assignment on that day. He lost his job as 1/3 of the company was laid off in one day. Yes, they left “Layoffs” on a white board in the conference room that was easily found by staff and my husband was one of the last hired so first to be let go.

He left to cut the money bleed and came back to a new job two weeks later. A month later he accompanied me on a pet walk (consultant and local pet sitter) and I found him a place to live about 1,000 feet from me.

Tons of steps. One car garage and if we were going to be together he needed a washer and dryer in the garage. He bought used for about $250. The deal was, I would get rid of his clean pile/dirty pile system and do his laundry if I could do mine. Of course we married a year later and will celebrate an anniversary soon.

Steps. I don’t remember how many. At least 14 to the front door. Garage/laundry, 19 steps to Barbie kitchen/dining/living. Curved staircase to office, only bath and MBR. Probably another 19 steps. My arthritis kicked in around the wedding and the steps were killing me.

I tried to make a pact but it didn’t work. If there’s a pile at the top of the stairs, bring it down to the living area or garage, wherever you’re going. If there is folded laundry on the first step up to the sleeping/office area, please bring it up and I’ll put it away.

He now asks to help with dishes as I’m washing the last one, or cooking when everything is ready to plate. The Barbie House was our first home. We met some great people there. Enjoy your Friday, I think we may head out to see some Fall leaves, after I check the mouse house in the morning light. Dee