Category Archives: Family

Thank You

Posted on May 18, 2015 | Leave a comment

Please is the most important, hello, good morning, good evening, good night, where is the nearest hotel, restaurant. Can I find a restroom as I’ve been on a bus all day. Today I’ll concentrate on thank you and please, as that’s even more important:

Gracias  or di nada- Mexico, please is por favor

Obrigado (men) or Obrigada (women) -Portugal…. por favor

Merci – France, please is s’il vous plait

Danke -Germany, please is bitte

Spasiba – Russia, I don’t think that there a please.Believe me, I’ve looked.

Separakallo for please, I never knew that until now, Epharisto for I don’t know any more and Parakalo for decades for thanks to the Greek people

Prego – Italian, Grazie or grazi mille which means a thousand thanks for a really great meal or service, I don’t know the rules.

The most important item before you get to this is learn please, thank you and your family are welcome to visit our country in English, Spanish, German or whatever language the hosts speak. They do not feel at home in our country sometimes, but we always must be made welcome in theirs. Yes, visitors may actually come here, even with TSA, to see New York or a university.

When visiting anywhere in your town or all over the world please learn the words PLEASE , excuse me, directions and follow up any kindness with a Thank You. We’ll all get a better reputation if Americans don’t rush in saying that everyone must speak our (not Brit) English.

This is the beginning, as we Americans must say please and thank you, at the very least, to our world neighbors when they visit our country, if one would prefer to skip learning a few words of the local language while asking for the route to the nearest restaurant or even more importantly, restroom facilities, you might want to reconsider those few words or just not travel and demand it of them.

Sorry, but as far as I am concerned the lady with the pink umbrella, parasol or brolly leading you off the bus visiting another country is one who will never actually be useful as she will never allow you to see the country you’re paying through the nose to see or let you even have lunch on your own. There will always be that umbrella, herding you. And it’s always attached to the person who peaked in high school, has a high voice and probably was a wanna-be cheerleader. Sorry, I don’t want to go on a trip with her. I leave my dog at home when we’re away with a sitter, I don’t need be herded for a week or two.

Reach out. Of course contact the State Department to find out what nations not to visit at any day. Then fly on your own and you’ll be free to find destinations other than London, Paris and Rome. As the venerable character Mame would say, “Live.” Do it yourself and have a great time. I have on my own with family and husband and work and it can be wonderful.

Go to an art gallery first and look at how many visions these local/worldwide artists had for their environs and for the world. Then go to your local restaurant (with patrons seated and the restaurant not empty) and ask for their local specialties. Look at my reviews on TripAdvisor! Share plates with your spouse. Back to the ship down the Danube or your car or train or tour bus and go.

Make sure to have dessert! And at least another three days because there are more museums to see, Dee

ps What, the ship sailed? Not ours. There are still art museums to see and mechanical and strange medical museums for my husband to attend. All we can do is see how it goes. We don’t mind splitting up for a few hours a day and meeting for dinner. Dee

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Knock and Run

Posted on May 14, 2015 | Leave a comment

That’s tough to do around here. There are seven families per floor. Our neighbors are having people knock on the front door and leave. They need an elevator to do so. I know everyone on the floor so it’s not any of us.

Backstory is that this neighbor’s young grandkids show up a couple of times a year and at their age all they want is to see Zoe, our old dog. Sorry, Grandma and Grandpa! They sometimes stand in the hall and just whisper “zoe” and she rushes to the door to see them.

I ran into Grandpa the other day and he told me of this issue, something I never did in my youth and would certainly never dream of in adulthood. I did knock on their door the day they moved in and gave them pasta and sauce and pots so they wouldn’t have to order in or go out for dinner.

He said “I thought Zoe might have learned to knock on a door. She would never leave, though, she’d always stop to say hello.” I replied “yes she would, and especially if your grandchildren are around!”

Ah, neighbors. As it is, our bedroom is way in the back and even Zoe, lifted by Otis The Elevator (me) to the bed at night, is unaware of hallway sounds so we can’t help find the culprit.

I find it hopeful and helpful that neighbors are so kind and watch out for each other. Another neighbor, when my husband is out of town on business, checks on me and Zoe at least once per week. It is so sweet of him to do so. No, he doesn’t knock and run. He’s usually off with his recycling or to an appointment somewhere and just checks in to see if we’re OK.

There is something to be said for neighborliness and camaraderie. A Swedish neighbor taught me Kottsbullar (Swedish meatballs) and in return I taught him true Texas Chili (Pedernales a la the great Lady Bird Johnson) circa 1962.

The neighbor who checks on me is also a Swede. Are they taking over here? Now there’s Irish. I’ve been given several packages that belonged to someone with the same Irish name I was given at birth. I introduced myself to her today, and her kids. Now we know when packages or drycleaning goes to the wrong Dee, where to send it.

We’re up in the air right now, things happening and in flight. This certainly will not be our final destination but it’s good to know we’ve friends around. I need to get a dinner party together before my husband is off for a while. I think I’ll do a pork roast with hard cider gravy and apples stuffed with corn bread. Southern, I know. I’m smelling and tasting it now, in my mind. That’s how I cook.

I’d actually rather bone out and butterfly a leg of lamb and marinate in a sauce from Jacques Pepin, one of my culinary heroes. Roasted potatoes with garlic, green beans with salt, pepper and a touch of butter and all we need is dessert!  I’m thinking fresh vanilla ice cream with a berry coulis and fresh raspberries and blackberries. Let me call our neighbors on another floor. I used to help take care of their dog who died last year, perhaps the new additions would like to come along as well. Zoe has friends and has been termed, by me, a “cougar.” She only flirts.

Y’all take care. Y’all means you, dear reader, in Texas-speak. All y’all means the mess of you who just got together for real BBQ. Just so you know. Cheers! Dee

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Thank You, Tiffani

Posted on April 28, 2015 | Leave a comment

No, I’m not a Food Network shill, I just happen to like Dinner at Tiffani’s because she seems real and actually has a family and friends! And she’s not on a clock cooking for judges and sabotaging competitors.

Actually any mom/cook working for their family or creating a dinner party is on the clock and has judges. Once when we kids were young we rated Mom’s dishes. BIG mistake. She was devastated by Dad’s comments, probably ours as well.

All I want to do is make the best dish I can and not get stuck in a rut of meatloaf night, pizza night (of course I make my pizza from scratch with Italian OO flour).

The sun came up before six this morning and I had to get up, put down the shades and take out the dog. Instead of looking at the debacle in Baltimore I turned to Dinner at Tiffani’s. She made peas, and also a roast reminiscent of one of my mother’s.

We always had frozen peas, unadorned. Tiffani’s peas with parmesan looked delicious. As a kid we had a “pea count.” Everyone guessed the number of peas on the pea-hater’s plate and then the pea-hater counted every one while eating all of them. The winner didn’t have to do dishes. Everyone got dessert and the pea-hater ate the peas.

My sister had surgery once and was advised to reduce the swelling by placing a bag of frozen peas on her face. She cannot eat frozen peas to this day.

For the roast, I don’t always do tri-tip, I must admit I do look for what’s on sale at a very pricey market. I use a packet of beefy onion soup mix and a can of crushed tomatoes, cover and cook for several hours, until the beef falls apart with a fork. Oh, how my husband loves that roast again in a sandwich the next day! It’s such a cheat but if he loves my pot roast, and ten-minute lasagne (on the site) so much the better.

The carrots were interesting with honey, soy and sesame. I’ve multi-colored heirloom carrots in the frig and my husband likes them raw. I scrub them and roast them whole in a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper, and thyme for about 45 minutes, turning every 15 minutes, until tender. They’re delicious. Yellow, orange, red, purple, they’re excitement on a platter. Every taste is there.

I always like to thank people for inspiration to try new things. My problem is that my husband is deathly allergic to anything that swims, and that may even include amphibians. More culinarily challenging things were done in the past like a side of salmon with scallop mousse and “scales” of half-zucchini rounds. Of course with fried parsley garnish. That was in French cooking school days.

Now I’d like to try a leg of lamb, after many years, and I would bone and butterfly and marinate and grill it a la Jacques Pepin. I’d love to try that for my husband’s family but as cattle ranchers they eschew lamb. Sorry Chef Pepin, I now have my own marinade and cooking system. I think you tried to make it foolproof for mothers. We only have a dog and I don’t cook for her, only for us.

Also I’d like to envision a new/old cassoulet for my father. I’ve seven recipes to sift through, all from the masters, and know when I made it for him years ago he said it was the best food he’d ever eaten. Chef Pepin, do you have another recipe?

Much to do, so little time….. Thanks for yours today. Cheers! Dee

 

 

 

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Integrity

Posted on April 20, 2015 | Leave a comment

It’s a tough thing to come by. Luckily I met a man who had a bunch of it. So did I and it burned me out trying to help people from themselves.

That’s work and I’m married to that man. I’ve been many things, including a consultant for many years. Trying to do the right thing for a client is very difficult. They hire you to do the right thing then fight every step of the way to keep any change from happening.

Even in a small organization, it is tough when the board wants you and the staff does not. I’ve had my car keyed, lies spread about me and books cooked to assure I couldn’t revitalize a key program and make many times profit for the organization, not a penny for me in an effort, funds realized prior to the efforts, plus more bang for the buck for public and community relations and jump-starting a new education program that has thrived ever since.

When the new director came on board he took great pleasure in letting me go his first day. The next morning he called and demanded a meeting. I went. He asked for my keys then said he wanted everything in my brain and in my files (of course he had copies of everything I and the past development director had done) over the past three years. He really wanted a confidential study whose public results he had but the private data was, at the Board’s request, not accessible to them or anyone because the study was about them and their role in the future of the institution.

I told the new director he had all my documents and spreadsheets and should have asked me for all the development information in my brain before he fired me. Of course the confidential study is still locked in my files and I said I would have to be present at a Board meeting where they voted to give it to him. The first thing I did was call the Chairman and met with him briefly that morning and told him what had happened. He laughed.

At the next Board meeting, the new director was fired. I was brought on as a committee member and my audience development ideas approved by committee could be brought to similar management because these votes came from the Committee and Board. I was made a Trustee for a few years. It started out as a quarter million institution and is now much more flush and professional than that partially because I and others got hands dirty and did what needed to be done. Yes, I created FlexTix. Kids for Kids was my standout work. Revolutionary back in the day.

I’ve been a consultant and board member for a number of years. In my younger years, 20 of them, I also did hands-on work in no-kill animal shelters and spaying and neutering feral cats so I know of love and loss and caring for others and doing your best for them when they might not care a whit about your efforts.

In business, one learns to cajole, educate, inspire, always learn from everyone, progress, coalesce and make goals reality.  Then go out by a lake with the teams and make some burgers and have a beer. Perhaps there’s a guitar and we sing.

No-one knows anyone any more. Nanny told me years ago to make sure my husband took a long-term job at a company and got a gold watch at retirement. I told her back then I’d try (that was before she okay’d me as the wife and her as the only Nanny I’d ever known) but the world is not like that anymore.

There is no loyalty. Or trust. One could be let go tomorrow and have nothing. Sadly for people with our talents it is a buyers market, but lest you think businesses need no technology or process or other improvements it is at your peril. When it becomes our market you’ll pay top dollar or go out of business. It’s that simple. You’ll file Chapter 11 and we’ll be on the upside.

Our tax money bailed out banks and insurance and car companies and so many others that are still secret. That’s why you’re in trouble now, because you never fixed anything, just sent traders out with bonuses to buy new Ferrari’s. And how does that play on Main Street where the fire department does the fireworks and everyone goes out to sit by the lake? It’s no Wall Street outside of NYC.

My husband always looks for meaningful work where he can make a difference in the world. That has always been his, our dream. He can fix anything, from a bank trading system to a grain bin micro-switch. Physics and agile development. He taught himself the latter and has credentials, whatever that means.

As for Nanny, my husband/your grandson could buy himself a gold watch. He does not wear jewelry except his wedding ring as he has an iPhone. Yes, it tells time. I love you for everything you are to our family and all you want for your children, grands, greats. Integrity. We love you for instilling that in everyone. Cheers! Dee

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Family

Posted on April 20, 2015 | Leave a comment

My dad called yesterday. I was teaching my Swedish neighbor how to cook Texas chili. He taught me to make Swedish meatballs and wants a Kitchenaid mixer so I had him use the one I’ve had for eons and assemble the meat grinder on it and grind nearly 5# of chuck and short rib I butchered for him.

I couldn’t take Dad’s call because I was hands-deep getting ground beef into the saute pan with my husband and two guests. Dad called again and I told him what’s going on here (not pretty).

He said he called because he was worried about our old dog because of the new Asian/Midwest dog flu that kills dogs. In 11 years he’s never met our girl Zoe but cared enough to call, I love him for that. And I’m his daughter, not a dog owner on the street to whom he is telling this story.

I checked it out and AVMA and the state and numerous news reports including Reuters say a dog came from China to Chicago and reports vary but from 1,200 – 5,000 dogs are sick. Six have died but others become carriers and never show symptoms of the disease or look sick. I just read it’s killed another six dogs in Ann Arbor MI. It seems concentrated now on IL, WI, IN and MI.

So, don’t let your dog near another dog on the street, in the elevator, lobby, especially dog parks, vet offices, doggie day care. A lot of organizations in the Midwest have shut down for this disease. From what I’ve read antibiotics might help but some vets want vaccinations against pneumonia. Does that latter vaccine exist? If so these researchers could help so many humans in addition to dogs. Pneumonia seems to be the last disease human patients die from because their immune system is compromised.

From what I’ve read nose to nose dog contact is the best way for direct transfer. It can stay on your clothes 24 hours and if you pet another dog you must wash your hands (face if she kissed you) and some germs last 48 hours, this is a nasty bug.

OK, Dad, you made me do the research. You’ve never met our Zoe and I dread the day she leaves us, but you love me and my husband so you care about our dog you’ve never met. You thought about me for this issue, for what I’ve put into it over decades, and let me know your concern. I thank you and love you for everything, especially the Buick. Dee

 

 

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Loved Ones

Posted on April 10, 2015 | Leave a comment

When a loved one is in hospital or hospice, every night take notes. Write essential questions and get to the hospital early. The docs like to visit for their 3-5 minutes before family arrive so be there and have your questions ready.

Get them answered. When you ask why X has not responded to the surgery and is sicker than before it, Doc will tell you it’s normal and to check back tomorrow. Then you find out the wrong surgeon did the operation of a specialist who didn’t show up and caused cancer to go everywhere and kill your loved one, X.

Be very kind to the nurses. Doc’s are only there for five minutes per day. Nurses have shifts. Get to know their names. Ask them questions and leave the room when needed (if Y needs bathing, a linens change and such).

Eat. Do leave while your loved one sleeps. You must keep up your strength. Coffee, soda and machine-generated snacks do not count. Get out. Breathe a bit of fresh air. Arm yourself for the next battle.

Talk with friends and family. Even if you’re a long-time spouse whose lifetime love and best friend is in that hospital bed, reach out to others.

If the situation is serious and Z will not make it take a few moments to compose yourself and assure yourself you are ready for the loss and will recoup from it bringing Z’s love, wishes and intents with you. Then talk to Z and see what s/he wishes. Last rites? Burial, papers, who to contact. Contact everyone s/he asked about and ask if they’ve anything to convey. Do not ask them all to visit. Anyone who stays around for a few days is close. You don’t want the boss or golf partner showing up out of the blue, that’s what funerals are all about and why acquaintances are not at the hospital with you and other family members.

If needed, make final arrangements. Hopefully there is a will and executor of such. Get through the formalities, even if you must host a post-funeral event.

Grieve. By being there you’ve done much of it. Rest. Get away for a week or two. You have life, and hopefully your spouse, sibling or friend will care for you as you did for Z, Y, or X. Always with hope for ailing friends, Dee

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Dear George Clooney, Director

Posted on April 9, 2015 | 1 comment

Mr. Clooney, I must thank you for making Monuments Men once again. I must be brief because storms have started again and I must make sure our dog feels safe.

I learned things backwards in college as art taught me history (our old dog Zoe just came out to the office to see me during the next round of this incessant storm and I placed her on the sofa). History did not teach me art. History only taught me dates, 1066, Battle of Hastings. When I put things together between my curricula everything started to make sense.

The art of Greece, Romans, Medieval, Renaissance and Reformation plus Impressionists and even Dada-ism, gave me insight into the politics of the day. Yes, I worked in politics for a bit but ended up in arts and consulting.

When your crew, in the film, brought back the Ghent altarpiece that now resides at the Getty Museum in Los Angeles, I felt it. Especially so with Michelangelo’s Madonna and Child at the Bruges church. Now it has a different abode, with bulletproof glass and no visitors within 15 feet.

What are we doing to our art now? I consider it ours, the world’s populace, as it is our heritage. At the 1964 World’s Fair where most people think aliens take off near the historic world dome, I saw the Pieta. We only got to go down an escalator into a black room with a white light on this historic work, then go back up on another several feet away.

I will never forget that day, just as I didn’t when JFK was killed. I was five years old and knew I had a passion I’d find someday. Years later I went to St. Peters’ at the Vatican and they, Madonna and the Dead Jesus Christ were there, but protected after the Pieta was shot. I have not been back since that day over 30 years ago.

Sad that we are doing to this art what the Nazis did, they did protect or burn it to keep it from the people who love it. We just have it in museums that don’t allow most people in because of high ticket prices. Perhaps they might see a work their family owned before the War. I’ve traversed the Ponte Vecchio many times as well as Florence’s churches and new bridges, post WWII. I’ve seen what war has done to Europe and Britain and the US. Also floods, think 1966, the rising of the Arno and Cimabue’s Altarpiece.

I believe these soldiers and their compatriots in the art world and not necessarily the Army, deserve credit. Thank you and I must go, the storms have taken up again and it’s only me and the dog tonight so she needs to be taken care of. Dee

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Role Reversal

Posted on March 11, 2015 | Leave a comment

Every so often I watch DIY for home improvements. Given an opportunity the wife’s eyes widen and a smile comes to light at the word “shopping.” At the same instant the husband looks upset and says “budget.”

In our household, it’s the other way around. Years ago I said I didn’t need a new MacBook so he bought me more memory, a large monitor and cordless keyboard. I didn’t think I needed those either but love them. He recently sent me a new battery which is a life saver because my laptop lasts less than two minutes without its electric life line.

He is the consummate shopper, doing detailed research on every product. Shirts from London, Hong Kong. Budget. That’s me. I pay the bills but appreciate him so much for doing all the leg-work on things we need and he doesn’t want me to carry from the store to my car, such as paper products.

We are the scientist and artist/teacher, a classic combination. When it comes to shopping and budgeting we cross paths. One thing I’ve never done is to go shoe shopping with a girlfriend. Perhaps that might have changed things but then I may have never met my prince.

As children my sister and I got one pair of school shoes each year. Mom told me she should get my sister two pair and I should wear the boxes. One wish in life is to someday have a pair of cowboy boots hand-made for me. It would be a boy’s size, around 4 1/2 wide. No stiletto’s for me. Cheers, Dee

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Fighting

Posted on March 5, 2015 | Leave a comment

I’ve always had it in me. Sorry, younger siblings. I was only there to protect you. It came out when I was writing legislation to help millions of people. Then, when I chose to volunteer.

My parents never fought, just divorced after 35 years of marriage. It was understood that nothing was ever discussed. A cheek kiss at the door, how was your day, dear, and talk of work at the dinner table. Then we each had to ask to be excused from the table to do our homework.

Parents did instill a 100% effective right/wrong meter as to ethics. I did less than exemplary fighting for crime victim rights and gay rights and privacy in my 20’s because of being stymied by larger forces. In my mid-thirties I took on a volunteer fight that made me grow and helped fellow citizens.

Fight from the heart. Use words, not weapons. When needed, get involved. I’ve pulled a dog with his jaws on mine off, all advice unheeded, he had no collar much less a leash, and we both lived to tell the tale. Re: that pit bull, they never apologized or said they’d pay for vet fees, only said he was going back to Mexico and would never be in our park again.

Yes, I fought. I got that pit bull off my dog by the neck skin and held him. When you fight for anything, for rights, a bill in Congress, or your life, you fight. I will never use or carry a weapon. Words. Actions. Life. Live it as I protect my family, Dee

ps I do have an arsenal of knives, as a cook. I treat them like babies and they look great up on the magnetic rack. Never do I take one outside. Only small scissors to trim our communal herb garden. d

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Cooking for…..

Posted on March 5, 2015 | Leave a comment

kittens? Yes. In 1987 my sister sent a five-week old kitten from CA to NYC on a plane with my brother as a surprise. Surprise, dog gal, you now have a kitten that fell off the 7′ shelf he was born on at two weeks of age and his mother would not feed.

Gorgeous Burmese/Tuxedo talker. I never got the last word until I held him in my arms 13 years later as he was euthanized with heart dysfunction exacerbated by pneumonia.

I knew absolutely nothing about cats. He didn’t even know how to drink water because he couldn’t see it. I left him milk when I went to work, had no A/C so it curdled during the day because it was so hot.

The first day I got a book on cats that told me to only feed him raw kidneys and to keep them in the freezer for four days to eliminate bacteria. OK. Then I got a book I still use (or did, when I lend it out it tends to disappear) that said build a mouse from the ground up.

I bought a chicken, ate the breasts over a couple of days and took off all the other meat for my Nathan. Hebrew for “gift.” My current dog is Zoe, Greek for “life.” Yes, that’s how I name my family, you’re glad right now I don’t have kids.

I mixed it with all kinds of stuff, cottage cheese, lecithin powder, kelp, bone meal. He barely ate it. I finally learned about organics. When he died at age 13 he was on Innova canned. I do much better with what is out there today.

For birthday and Christmas I got him and his little brother, Mickey, each a can of Fancy Feast trash food as a gift. Mick was named Mick Dundee, after Crocodile Dundee, because he was fearless when I adopted him at nine weeks. He took my dog’s bed for a year and then taught himself to fetch crumpled up post-it notes and retrieve them to me. His name morphed to Mickey Mouse and then just Mickey. He liked the twice a year Fancy Feast treats as well. Dogs ran away from home just to play with him.

My dog just turned eleven. She is on frozen raw and dry food. The dry is to prepare her tummy for long road trips. We’ll be moving soon and I can’t get dry ice here to keep her frozen food cold so I’m mixing the two now.

In my life I have “owned” two cats and two dogs. I love all of them but can no longer have cats because my husband is deathly allergic to them. I yearn to live on a farm so all the unowned cats will visit and I can see them outdoors, capture and have them spayed/neutered and if they forgive me for that, feed them. I continue to bathe Zoe every two weeks so her dander doesn’t make my husband sneeze. She loves the bath, not the comb-out 24 hours later.

After my first Nathan surprise, all our animals are from shelters. Please adopt from shelters. I worked with Greyhound Pets of America (GPA) for years and saw pitiful dogs coming off the racetrack of last resort, Caliente, and turning around in two weeks with good food, health care and human care. You may get a diamond in the rough, but it’s your diamond to polish.

I follow the no grain formula, frozen raw and my dog has the softest coat in the neighborhood. Yes, it’s expensive but at 11 our Zoe is happy and healthy. I bet she’d love that chicken mix I made for Nathan back in the day! Dee

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