Category Archives: Editorial

Welcome to the blog

Learning

Curveballs. I’ve never hit one. I learned that my college sisters were all lefties so our team was Lefties, Inc. No-one who mattered ever showed up to challenge us so we ended up in the finals without ever playing. Yes, we lost. I was the pitcher and a switch-hitter. Ambidextrous is the word.

While my husband thrived on mechanics, how things worked, science and math I looked at people. Soc/psy was my bailiwick. Perhaps that’s why we get along so well, we’re different, smart thus somewhat similar.

Let’s just say that I choose art museums and he chooses others for planes or motorcycles. We both learn when we go together but getting him into an art museum is a chore.

Know how to meet and greet your neighbors. Who is best at that task? Old dog Zoe. Everybody knows her and pets her. Years ago when an old elected official tried to hit on me I asked how daughter Sally was doing in art school, and how is his wife Judy? It was so good to finally meet her. If you want to nip something in the bud without saying anything about it, I found it was the way to go. Learning about life. And politics.

Life and consulting can be different. Often there are different factions, the Board that hired you and the administration who has to deal with you. My new car was keyed, then when the miscreant was named executive director he fired me and took my key to the office. The next day he called me and demanded everything I had on the organization including confidential data I promised the Board I would never disclose without their approval and me in the room. I said “I’m fired. I don’t owe you anything.”

A few moments later I was at the Chairman’s office and we laughed. The guy was gone at the next Board meeting. That’s learning. Both of us learned. The Chairman played everything and everyone and I ended up on the Board, working hard for free. That was probably part of the plan. He got canned and I got “knocked up” to supervise the enterprise that is thriving today. It is difficult changing from consultant to Trustee. But I’m a proven multi-tasker. Ask my husband, who is not.

Another story. I told my park woes to a confidante so he made me a VP of another board, one where the chairman spent meetings reading mail. Snore-fest, indeed. It was over lunch-time so everyone had to bring their own and there were some sodas and iced tea. My hips are getting better but I don’t know if or when I’ll be back. Pass it around the room, spend ten minutes of my day. Let’s get to an agenda. Let’s do SOMETHING.

I learned to formulate off-the-cuff motions and order them. Second. All in favor. Passed. For years the Minutes show that I made all motions when ripe. My favorites, J, K and S agreed and seconded. Unanimous votes followed. I re-wrote their by-laws, spent months of “free time” and they were passed after significant opposition by an opponent. That is how I spent my single life. With a dog and two cats. Now I’ve a husband and an old dog and things will change once again after 16 years.

Before I went to those park meetings I would de-compress in a free museum nearby, upon which my recruiter and fellow VP friend was on the Board. I sat in a room with my favorite Italian altarpieces and just breathed for 15 minutes before the Board meeting. Then I could be gracious to those who denigrated me.

My husband always says that my life was easy. He has to deal with profitable organizations. He doesn’t know the half of it. Non-profits can be really good, or snake pits. They keyed my car. Dee

 

 

Vision and Wisdom

I think they go together. I’ve a vision of life, but my physical vision is going as I age. My husband told me a story of his childhood. His parents always loved him and took care of his health. His teacher asked them to take him to the eye doctor. He was fitted for serious glasses at an early age so that he could later correct a math teacher and ask questions she could not answer.

When he walked out on the street with his new glasses he could actually see cars and the business names across the street. He thought being half-blind was normal, as kids do. I thought all grandpas had one leg. It was normal. He doesn’t tell that story, except to me and immediate family. I cry when I hear it because he couldn’t see the blackboard but still knew more than anyone else. He had to try harder, and milk cows in the morning and after school on the dairy. He can see, has vision and another vision and purpose as to life.

If one is reading every interviewer answer as a potential consultant from books that give vision and wisdom 101, they may be hired because Daddy said so. We never worked that way.

My husband and I know the answers to our respective professions. Why? One cannot teach wisdom from a book, it comes from age and experience. As is vision. Mission, vision you have to be able to sit there in a client interview and answer questions from expertise and maturity. And wisdom. For that there is no shortcut. Dee

Getting To Know You

Getting to know all about you. I was in The King and I, a high school musical, when I was a very young violinist. I was so shy then I refrained from leading the pack, for which I was chosen, to be one of the twins.

Getting to know you is something one needs to know to succeed in life. Note that I did not say business, life will lead to that. We moved around a lot for Dad’s jobs and I had to make new friends everywhere.

Opening oneself up is difficult, especially if you’ve been taunted or spurned by fellow kids. So you just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. Learn to know bullies from good people. Character assessment. Guys always talk of handshakes. They’re correct.

We rafted a really fast river years ago with a guide. I was wearing two wrist braces to protect me from doing too much. The expert guide would have given me a great handshake but he saw the braces so just touched the tips of my fingers. NO! They’re for support, I am not ill, I use them for packing boxes and moving! We did a five hour raft trip in two hours. That is what the Army Corps of Engineers gave us that day, Cat 4 rapids. Yes, we looked for it.

I digress. In life, you want to get to know the people you wish to know. I kissed a few frogs before I met my husband of nearly 15 years. He had all the traits I wanted and a few enervating habits. As a physicist, software engineer, leader, consultant he is very methodical. I got to know his family over the years and love them.

As to me, I’m getting better, due to him, about being less emotional about slights to each of us, mostly job-related. I was a consultant and always a leader as well, in a very different line of work. When he tells me of a consulting issue I try to tell him how to solve it, because I’ve more years of experience in that field, and he hates that.

We got married and we wanted to have a kid but I advised that we had to get a dog first. She’s nearly 14 years old, sleeping more, limping a little. Between us we chose the best dog in the world. She’s a mascot around the neighborhood. Everybody knows her name. It wasn’t until my husband took her out for a walk a few weeks ago that two ladies behind them said “that’s Dee’s dog.” Fourteen years and someone knows my name.

Open up, choose wisely. Yesterday a new friend was flying home. I saw an SUV with four hands waving. Last week she made me a pot of delicious butternut squash soup. They stopped the car. She said thank you for everything and held my hand. I thanked her and said safe travels. Meeting new friends is an adventure. Always embrace it. Dee

Where Everybody

knows his name. Like Cheers, my husband likes to be as pale as can be and blend in with the locals. He did in Scotland, now wants to do so in Australia. He’s just a head taller than anyone else so if I remember the shirt or jacket he has on, I can find him. He’s usually in strange produce or ice cream.

You want to go where everyone knows your troubles are the same. You want to go where everyone knows your name. Well, everyone knows our dog’s name and says hello. They don’t necessarily know our names but everyone knows Zoe.

We used to have a restaurant close by that is now a flower shop I frequent, back then we’d just show up at the bar and have a burger. Everyone knew our names. Dee

Reservations

Yes, I’ve had a few over some of the life choices I have made.

Back in the day I was kind of the organizer for staff and team events. When there was a birthday, newborn, engagement, retirement et al I was the go-to gal.

What little gem did I find? An old beanery from the Depression era, still the same. In the 1930’s folks would line up around the block to get a bowl of beans for five cents.

Nearly 60 years later I found it. Great corned beef and cabbage sandwiches on rye bread with deli mustard and Pabst Blue Ribbon quarts.

I would call and ask for a reservation and was always told there were no reservations. Is David there (the owner)? Tell him it’s Dee. Table for 12 at 11:30 a.m. OK. When we arrived on time there were linens on the table, four quarts of PBR and corned beef and cabbage on the stove. Yes, I can make things happen. That’s why they call me Dee. Cheers!

Submit

A paper due at school, yes.

Bullies, no. Actually I had others to plead my case there. Thank you!

Dad taught me to think for myself and do for myself. I had many mentors throughout life but he was the best.

I would not submit to any discrimination including gender, Title IX, or sexual harassment, way before those laws were passed. I got the city and county agree to make a crosswalk, one they do not re-paint and that no-one stops at. But I got them to agree, a rare thing.

Yes, I can submit an issue to government. But I do not need to submit to them, as a voter. There is something called the 1st Amendment. Cheers! Dee

 

Blog and Blog Again

That is my density (remember the first Back To The Future movie).

Pursuit. Sixteen years ago I met the man with whom I wished to spend the rest of my life.  No, I never told him so! We met all the folks, eloped and will celebrate 15 years married in January, which is also the 14th anniversary of our young, sick pup who we rehabilitated from the shelter. Even systematically took out her hips at age six and nine months because she had the worst hip dysplasia her surgeon had ever seen. As my husband is a physicist his cousin, her surgeon cleaned and kept the first hip bone for our perusal.

Never chase. Be chased. As far as jobs were concerned I just showed up for the interview and they tried to sell me on it.  If it worked, it worked. I did make one error, a woman who took me to a fancy NYC hotel for breakfast and she ended up being the boss from he!!. That was two years of trials but I quit and used the money I’d saved to go to cooking school. A gift from a friend l came later on was a week south of Florence, Italy for another cooking school. Both were the most fun education I’ve ever had.

Always let a dog or cat come to you. They will pursue you and be calmer, happier and desire to be near you. Never pick them up and make them sit on your lap. Do what you are doing, whether knitting or watching an old episode of ER. They want your attention. As John Lennon (if you’re too young, he led a little band called The Beatles) said, I am the Walrus. Shades of Pale from Procol Harum. Pursuit.

My husband said he could not date me, when he was away after a week. It was the dot-bomb era and the board left info on the white board that ended with “fire staff.” Everyone saw it and went home for the weekend to live in agony awaiting the axe. He went to live with his folks for two weeks and came back and his neighbor asked why he returned. He simply said, “her.” Yes, that was me.

Oh, I had to hire and pay for maids to clean his place (string cheese in individual wrappers between the frig and dual-brained computer he built) in his man-cave apartment with the black drapes behind the mail boxes. I also found him/us a place to live 1,000 feet from mine, now called the Barbie House. Yes, I did passively pursue, but mostly through food. His grandmother now says that is looking happy and must be eating well. That is what nearly 20 years has done. He was skinny at the time. We eat healthily but age creeps up. Cheers! Dee

ps We’ve never lived in a man cave. Hey he met me! I need a view, keep our place clean (not me all these years later) and cook for him and do all the paperwork. You wouldn’t even want to know the “rules” of Barbie and how to deal with all the stairs. Leave something to take up and pick it up and put it away. I’ve done 34 steps twice to do your laundry and I live 1,000 feet away! Ok, I did a few of my things too, that was part of the deal. Dee

 

 

Teachers

My aunts are retired English teachers. No, we moved before I had them in “class” but I was in class all my life. When I used the “loo” I had to look at the dictionary, find a word I did not know, spell it, define it and use it in a sentence.

Learning to read at age four I read Romeo and Juliet, and Hamlet, at another school but these were the teachers I wanted to be. Second grade (I was a year early) I was reading The Diary of Anne Franke and Death Be Not Proud. It was a hobby, and a mission.

Years ago someone took me to dinner with a psychic. She told me I was going to be a teacher. I was a teacher of non-profit organizations for years, help my husband consulting with huge corporations and do my best with pups in our neighborhood.

I’m not a renowned English teacher that teaches Shakespeare, the Holocaust, or of Native Americans. I am and will always be a teacher. Dee, Retired but still volunteering. D

Shortcuts

I would not ever use them on my family or our dog, who is probably the most spoiled canine on the planet. Or cheat on our food, except a frozen Friday Night Pizza from the convenience store so when his plane arrives I can have the oven heating. Flights from the West Coast are notoriously late or cancelled, I make excellent dough and pizza but I’m not going to get up at 11 p.m. to make the dough (Italian OO flour) and prepare the toppings. Dog Zoe and I are in bed by then.

My husband wants to use highways, paid or toll-free, to get everywhere. He says they’re faster but they’re usually clogged with traffic and I don’t normally drive more than two miles a day.

He’s off at work for the day or week or month and I need groceries, his dry cleaning and more. We move to a new city and I have to learn my way around. This was before GPS and what he calls “Google Girl.”

I find back streets to take me to the grocery. He tells me I’m “sneaky.” I show him the way and he takes it! Way to go, Dee!

Don’t tell him, but I also try to add veggies and fiber to his diet. Sneaky, yes. Just clean a pile of radishes or peel a jicama and make a salad with apple and vinaigrette. Those are not really shortcuts.

We spent nearly a year to get our Zoe to adopt a food and she has, for nearly 14 years. I never take shortcuts on that, except to make sure her tummy can take the raw food dry version for car trips as no-one will sell us dry ice here to keep her frozen raw food good during travel. I usually have it delivered every few weeks. She loves M, who takes it to our door and tells a story while he pets her. Some shortcuts are good! Dee

Blue Skies

Smiling at me

Nothing but blue skies

Do I see

***

No fleas are looking at me

Nothing but no fleas

Do I see

***

Our Zoe has had three fleas this past week. The first, he found and methodically bathed her for 30 minutes, enough to kill a family of fleas. One jumped on top of her dense fur at the park and he sent it to its demise. Another he found a few days ago and we both flea-combed her and didn’t find anything.

She eats excellent food and has never had a flea in nearly 14 years. I think it’s a combination of a warm winter/summer and her slowing down a bit with age.

Attack mode. I’ve been through this before with rescued animals. Boric acid on the carpets. Vacuum. Diatomaceous earth (worms) but he went the extra mile and got dog soap that kills the eggs, larvae, pupa and adults and she has to have that bath this morning, after she had flea medication the other day.

He also got 10# of diatomaceous earth for carpets and doorways. THEN he got a carpet cleaner solution and is renting one today (ours is with his mother 1,500 miles away). Yes, the carpet cleaning solution gets rid all of those above and we’ve a friend coming in to help move furniture to get everything.

My solution when I found out my adopted kitten brought in fleas was to comb them under flourescent lights and place any fleas in a dishwashing solution so they would drown. I ended up finding many eggs in the bedding so trashed all of their bedding and bought new after I did the carpets with borate and entries with diatom dust. Of course I bathed them. Cats are tough in water, I think I still have the scratches! My solution was much less expensive and intensive than my husband’s. He is a physicist so I’ll let him do his thing. I liked the borate salt and diatomaceous earth because they were benign to animals, including us.

Zoe had three fleas total, one she never brought home from the park, and my husband is tearing our home apart to make sure there are not more. He will not let me help except to clean bedding and carpets. I guess that’s my job today. Hope all’s well with you. Dee