He Tried to Kill Me, Twice

Something happened. After nearly 16 years together my husband made an error, twice. I’ve always joked that a terrorist could get in and detonate a bomb in our bedroom and he would never awaken to hear the terrorist enter our home or bedroom.

This time, it was nearing seven in the morning and I do not know how he was positioned. He decided to throw his down pillow atop my face and lay his head on it. I immediately reacted “NO! Get off!” He did, then two minutes later he did it again.

He has no knowledge of any of these things so I hopped up, threw a denim jacket over my pj’s, slipped on a pair of Crocs and took the dog out then fed her. I’m not going back and usually I lift her up on the bed to co-snore with him on weekends after she eats. Not today. If his mind is in a certain gear or positioning is uncertain, I don’t trust him with our old dog, either, because she will not push him off or yell.

He had no clue where he placed his pillow or that he tried to suffocate me. He will be horrified to hear my story. All he wanted in his deep sleep was to find the most comfortable place for his head to be. Sadly, it was blocking my nose and mouth. Big brain, smart big head. Heavy.

We love him dearly and know he was just very sleepy and trying to get comfortable. I guess that’s what happens when one stays in hotels all week alone for a year. Happy weekend! Is there room service here? Yes, it’s called… Dee


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