Prohibitions

I agree with many, starting with the Ten Commandments. Maybe fifteen but as Mel Brooks broke the tablet in History Of The World, Part I, I do not know that content.

So, I’ll add one of my own, “Thou Shalt Pick Up Dog Poop.” There’s been little snow this season so no reason to have to wear thigh-high boots to traverse through 4′ of snow covered with ice to pick up after Fido. As an irresponsible dog owner, you are littering, being a lemming (just because others do it doesn’t mean you have to so), and inevitably denying the privilege of my dog, and yours, to live here. That is unacceptable. We are responsible dog owners and always have an extra bag for you to pick up.

Saturday is my dog’s 12th birthday, yes, we had her at six weeks, or as Renee Zellwegger would say, she “had me at hello.” No, we’ll not have a party. She only had one, when she turned one year old after having both her hips removed, not replaced. She had to grow her own from cartilage.

Where we were living the dogs and their owners were so kind to this pup who had the worst hip dysplasia her surgeon had ever seen. Even when other dogs chased her before her surgeries, she just laid down on her back, exposed her tummy and because of her sweet, Beta personality they left her alone. No-one knows my name but everyone knows Zoe.

For that party I brought three hors d’oeuvres for the humans, and three for the dogs, plus water dishes and soda. This year I may make dog biscuits and deliver them to the dogs she likes most. Practically everyone in the neighborhood. May as well leave a bowl out!

As to other prohibitions I get tired of them as they are unnecessary and mean. You may not have any ornament on your door, a mezuzah or a wreath or a welcome hanging with bluebirds for Spring. You may not have a door mat. What? This is a land of snow and mud. Where am I supposed to leave my boots for 20 minutes to dry?

A woman has been burglarizing our homes for months now. What says that people don’t really live here? Lack of a door hanging (mine is on a Command strip so I didn’t put a nail there) or door mat. When my husband is away on business I like having a door mat and door hanger and a dog to deter trespassers. Zoe’s Beta so will bark but if I open the door, she will lick. It works for me. I just don’t open the door. “Down, Jezebel!!!” Enjoy the day. Dee and Zoe, Greek for “life.”

p.s. There are enough prohibitions in life. I prefer to live my life. Oh, they caught the thief last week and I hope the people she stole from will testify against her. She’s caught on surveillance video here and elsewhere.