We’ve found that there are housing opportunities at the Grand Canyon. Yes, we will have public hearings and never listen, then we’ll blow it up, use the rock for a base and build McMansions. We’ll blast out the sides to allow Hummers, Caddies, Mercedes and even the occasional Rolls Royce to go to their multiple garages.

Don’t think of it as destroying a national treasure, it’s progress. What else are the people of the USA going to do with it? Just look, take pictures and ride a mule and camp? There will be no camping here, nor photos. Our security staff will make sure no-one takes a photo of our kids swimming in our pool.

Now yada yada yada we have to listen to a bunch of people who think they care about the Grand Canyon. Please don’t get anywhere near my suit or tie. That little baby just threw up on me! Arrest that baby! This is an Armani suit. Who are these Americans obsessed with natural and other treasures, anyway? Just give me three garages, six bedrooms, seven baths and a wine cave. Blow up the Grand Canyon and I’ll have my home built right away. Enough of “public comment.”

It’s going down. My people say it’s a lock. If we have to kill a few more (in the press), just do it!


So goes it for items on the list to retain via the National Trust for Historic Preservation. Hopefully last thought of the day, except perhaps speaking with my husband who is miles away. Not so Cheery, Dee

Here’s to Teddy Roosevelt, National Parks. Dee


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