Tag Archives: RESPECT

Respect

When you go to the grocery store, show some respect. They are doing you a service and are not paid well to do so.

Congratulations! Your parents put you through college. You will respect your colleagues and professors as you graduate from an Ivy League University, and go to Europe for the Grand Tour.

I had to pay for much of my own college but when I went out to a Greek sandwich place ten years ago I thanked him in Greek and he responded parakalo. I said thank you, and he responded “you’re welcome.”

Learn where you’re going. At least learn please, thank you, excuse me, where is the nearest bathroom. When is the next boat/train/plane. And learn the food in your studies so you’ll know a Greek, Italian or other menu. Also learn good morning, good evening and good night. Kalimera, Kalispera, Kalinichta. Boun Giorno, Buona Sera, Buona Notte. Now I will have to ask you to excuse me, permesso, as Zoe isn’t sleeping as soundly as I’d like. Cheers and have a good night, Dee

ps When you get to know owners/waiters at an Italian place, when you arrive for dinner it’s OK to just say Sera. Don’t ask me to pronounce it. It’s like Sarah but heavy on the first like “say.”Don’t ever touch the fruit or veg at markets in Italy. The purveyors will choose the best for you. I had the best pear of my life over there. Perhaps I should name my book about it, as did Proust over madeleins.D

Gentlemen

I don’t know many. Over the years they’ve been rare. I am lucky to say that my husband is one and so is his father. Yes, so is my father, of course. My brother, yes, he’s treated me well over decades even though I was his babysitter and that bodes ill in my book because we used to play hide and seek and I wouldn’t look for him for 20 minutes. My husband’s brother could have his photo next to the word “Gentleman” in the dictionary.

As I look over my life the friends I’ve kept in touch with since grade school who happen to be male are gentlemen and very intelligent as well. My Uncle and cousins fit the bill as well.

On our first date my husband went around the car, opened the door for me and took my hand and never let go. It’s been nearly 14 years, married 12. No-one else in the world was my soul mate, spouse and best friend.

Young gents. Learn to say please and thank you and ask to be excused from the dinner table. Say guests’ names or Ma’am and Sir. Write a note for your birthday gift. Dear Uncle Z, I really like the iPad you gave me. That’s why I didn’t send a paper note because I want you to know I’m really using it! Thanks so much! Pete

Make it personal. Always think of the other person first and what their interests are in a conversation. You meet a girl, college. Hi, I’m Jeff. Don’t you look gorgeous tonight! The blue goes with your eyes. Would you like to dance?

In the end, care. If you don’t you’ll be poor or rich, but poorer for not having met the right gal, and in rehab or a nice home with a family that loves you.

I grew up in a very strict household, Catholic French-Canadian and German. Today I find that some children don’t have any rules, only rewards. If you get a C average I’ll buy you a car. What? I had to garden, lay bricks and stones to keep water out and be the concrete chef (mixing Portland cement and sand with water in a wheelbarrow) for the front stoop that will be there until something freezes over. That’s an old story you’ll have to look up on site.

Perhaps that was my first moment as a chef as before, I only opened those tins with cinnamon rolls by rapping them on the counter! Revise story, Dee. I did start organizing parties and making birthday cakes at age eight.

Hope you had a good weekend and know that your husband and sons are gents. And gents, you already know that.  Cheers! Dee

 

Taking A Stand

As a spouse, a feminist homemaker, I pay all the bills, take the dog to the vet, let my husband take my car when he needs snow tires as I leave mine on.

I take care of business, Aretha. And I need a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

We’re moving this week and I’m not allowed to do a change of address on accounts I set up here three months ago. No, sorry, you must have your husband on the phone before you are allowed to move next door and change your billing address.

How do spouses get on joint accounts and be able to do simple things. They’ll let me pay a bill, just not change our address, and they treat me badly in the process as if we’re in the middle of a horrific divorce when we both are just moving next door.

What happened? I need a 15 page Power of Attorney to change the address of our 401(k)’s. All because I’m “just the wife.” The printer ran out of ink and we don’t live near any store that has our printer cartridges. We’re moving on Friday and my husband is at clients every day and I can’t even call him.

We need a better system, people. Life doesn’t work like Orange Level post 9/11 Bush world wants it to. We are real people who have to live our boring, mundane lives and need access to information to make those lives possible.

Change of address. Our government didn’t think twice when they allowed terrorists to learn to steer a plane but not to take off and land. Hello! All I’m trying to do is change our address to next door. Dee