Yes, hello, and welcome to this week’s Napping Dog Press. I am Sir Nigel Davenport, Cat-caster at Large, roving the world to see how animals living indoors with humans are faring in our world today.
I am in a very cold city by a great lake today in the Colonies, sorry, chap, the United States with Zoe, a nine-year old Australian Shepherd mix.
NIGEL: So, Zoe, I came here to see how you are faring. I understand you just had a birthday. Nine years, I believe. How did life start for you?
ZOE: I barely remember Mama and who knows who Papa was, but I was brought to a city shelter at five weeks and they did surgery on me to keep me from having puppies.
NIGEL: Oh, my!
ZOE: Yes, but the day after I met my new humans and they have had me this entire time. They took my hips but everything is OK now.
NIGEL: They took your hips? My word, lass. You should have sued them then and there!
ZOE: No, I forgave them and even my surgeon Val the Vet because I’ve felt better ever since. A neighborhood stray cat helped me out, Meow Meow. We walked together at least five times a day. She came to call or just slept in front of my door.
NIGEL: That’s amazing, that you like cats. Do you eat people food?
ZOE: Not really. They tried to make me eat all kinds of exotic dry food tarted up by eggs, bologna or hot dogs but I put my paw down. Only frozen raw lamb or duck for me. Or beef or bison.
NIGEL: Really?
ZOE: Yes, the Food Wench buys it for me. She also takes me out. The Fun Guy plays with me and takes me out late at night for a last pee.
It’s a difficult life, though. I have to whine to be lifted back onto their bed after I jump down to drink water and look out the window. Like this morning at 4:30. They should just be waiting for my return and do their “Otis” duties.
NIGEL: Anything else you’d like to tell us?
ZOE: Well, they won’t let me get a squirrel. I bagged a couple of mice at the last place we lived but Fun Guy made me drop them before I could eat them and vomit on the bed.
Otherwise, don’t pack suitcases to go away for the weekend. Don’t pack boxes to go away for good. Moving is very stressful. I’d have to meet all new dogs, cats and squirrels and it’s a tedious chore.
NIGEL: Thanks,. Zoe, for your insights.
ZOE: Thank you, Nigel. Prepare to be chased by a dog. Ready? GO!!!
ZOE Aside: All in all, it’s good to be head of my human pack because I can keep everything under control, until Food Wench made me get shots a couple of weeks ago.