Tag Archives: Mom

Yesterday I made Bolognese sauce with ground beef and sweet Italian sausage. It was too thick so I thinned it with some red wine left over from a dinner party. So we had spaghetti and sauce, with freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano last night.

Tonight I am making pot roast, Mom-style with noodles. Jim worked from home today, having some dental work done at lunchtime. I go in again in the morning for removal of a wisdom tooth. Don’t know that it gave me any, wisdom that is, only pain.

Tomorrow is easy lasagne with the rest of the meat sauce, the sauce to be tasted in advance and possibly doctored by me.

My assignment, should I choose to accept it (I must) is to write something profound about Mom that can be calligraphied onto a 4″/4″ piece of origami paper and folded into a crane. At least I get to send it by email and the calligraphers, my sisters, will transform the words into something that looks beautiful. Luckily I don’t have to do that part, because I’m a lefty that writes from above and the entire paper would be smeared.

Now I’ve got it! Society didn’t like lefties so they wouldn’t allow them to do calligraphy! Works for me! Hey, when I was a kid I got the rounded scissors because lefties are dangerous, and I always had to tell the teacher that I could only use scissors with my right hand (true). And no matter what Steven or Melissa said, I never ate paste in kindergarten. And you can forget about folding. I cook, OK?

Sisters have asked family and friends to write something about Mom, rather than having a reception. Her ashes will be placed this weekend and in another ceremony in her home country later on.

It smells good in here and I had the water boiling for the noodles and the meat is cooling, but Jim and Zoe went AWOL. I’ll just keep on going at my temporary site as Jim took over my desk and monitor all day today. Perhaps I can consider it a rental! Cheers, Dee

I was so messed up today. I went nowhere today and spent the day in pajamas with cold/flu/bug. Who knows. Last week about six hours from now I got the dreaded phone call that Mom was gone. Since then we’ve very much appreciated comments and notes and calls and letters with condolences.

Mom’s and my relationship was complicated and we never really talked about it. There’s a real emotional loss there, laced with some conflict. After an entire summer being awake at night with many other things in our lives that were difficult, I think I just got permission to sleep for a few days. Not all day or every day but with Jim’s new job and our living situation straightened out and Mom, most importantly, at peace if I’m really dragging I’ll make Jim breakfast and set out his clothes, kiss him goodbye and go to bed for another hour.

Jim may hate me for this but I love it. He’s a wonderful and great, big guy and I love him so much, but he accepted a tennis date Monday with a colleague at work. He was the physics guy, not the sports guy. I think the tennis racquet he had in high school is somewhere in a trailer on the ranch. So tomorrow morning we’re going to get him a new one, shorts, shoes, shirt, proper socks and a tennis bag. And some balls, tennis variety. He already has others to have taken this challenge.

Wish my love the best. Luckily he’ll have a solid Sunday night dinner (the pork roast, as we had spaghetti last night) and I’ll make him a great breakfast to get through the day.

Hope your weekend is going well. Cheers, Dee

They’re coming into town, less than a mile away, and certain winds make us hear them more. Jim’s Uncle Steve would love it.I received many comments today, mainly offering prayers and thoughts for our well-being after Mom’s death.

I had everything ready for dinner except the pot roast, that I froze and it wouldn’t unfreeze in time to eat. So we ordered pizza for dinner, as I’ve spent part of the day actually sleeping and the rest on the phone or reading/writing emails.

Excerpts from one who called my mother a “class act:” “Your Mother…shines out like a beacon of grace, beauty and intelligence in the memory of my early years at Chautauqua, and you can quote me on that.” That is from Dick Redington of Chautauqua days.

Also from Chautauqua, from Miriam Reading: “She was a lovely person in every way, and it is clear she has impacted the lives of many. I know she will be missed.”

Thanks to everyone who has called and written since Mom died yesterday. The priest called me this afternoon and we talked for 15 minutes or so. Pretty sure he’ll check out the blog! I told him that if a Catholic parish can get a website, an old lady like me can have a blog.

It is wonderful to know that so many people that may know Mom or me directly or peripherally care so much.

Take care and thanks for being there. Hopefully our pizza will be here soon, because we’re hungry! Dee

My mother died today. Always wanting to be strong, like how she lived. Even her doctors didn’t believe how long she lasted at hospice.

Mom was incredibly intelligent, with a math focus. She was tops in her city in high school but at that time it was normal to become a secretary instead of going to college. That’s what she did, before she married and had four kids.

She was always a great wordsmith and writer as well, and heaven forbid you play a game of Scrabble with her, as she’d wipe the floor with you. Leave it to her to land on the triple word score with seven letters and clean everyone else out.

Mom graduated from no cooking to fifties’ cooking (always including a can of mushroom or celery soup) to Gourmet. She served her first cheese souffle with salad and everyone said it was terrific! Then Dad asked what was for dinner. Whoops.

She cooked and decorated a geodesic dome cake for Buckminster Fuller for his 86th birthday and 62nd wedding anniversary, at a luncheon at our home.

Four children, two grandchildren remain, as well as an ex-husband who shares in her loss.

She has been surrounded by close relatives and friends. All four children have been at her side but especially my sisters, who live nearby.

Mom will be missed. She taught me a lot, from how to lick an ice cream cone or drink from a straw, to good manners, honesty and how to make good food for your family.

She will be missed, but her memory and family recipes will live on. Dee

p.s. This was easier to write before I got the final phone call at 6:30 a.m. Since then I’ve had a nice long walk with Zoe in admirably cool weather. My sisters were with Mom last I know. I think I’m ready to get on to business now.

We just went out for a bite to a local Mexican joint and Jim is very tired after working until nine last night. A new neighbor said hello and we invited him on our journey. He had already met Jim and Zoe on Ike night last Friday, when all her friends were in the Bayou swimming but she’d just had a bath.

So we shared a cheese quesadilla and side of guacamole and Jim had the fajita beef enchiladas.

So, I spent a while on the phone with my sister Lisa today, and considerably more time with m-i-l Margie. What we came up with was unmentionable. I gave my version of the most comfortable, and so did my sister. She said Mom can’t die right now because she just bought new underwear.

Margie said that she sent both of her boys to college in tighty whities and they both came back with different solutions! Months ago I bought a pack of three cotton knit boxer briefs for my love. Two were in OK colors.

He was dressing for his first day at the new job and put on bright red shorts, what I call the Santa Pants. I said, no, no way you’re going to get in an accident on the way to work and they’re going to find you in Santa (bright red) underwear.

Lisa suggested I not go to the scene, but then I thought I should and just disavow any knowledge of him and take off these offensive undies.

If it were Mom in younger days, these would have “blown off the line.” That’s what she did with things she didn’t like. Presumably Dad’s “bum shirt” and leisure suit went that route.

It’s good to air all our clean, dirty laundry in public! Hope you’re enjoying it. Tomorrow it’s homemade Mac and Cheese with fresh grape tomatoes, and arugula and perhaps homemade cole slaw. The brisket messed me up, but I may re-heat that for guests tomorrow or Saturday. I miss seeing folks around here and have been too tired and insular.

All the best for a good evening. I am thinking good thoughts for us all. Dee

Apparently there has been a circus around Mom’s bedside the past 24 hours. She has been coherent and talking. Wish I was there.

Lisa is the youngest sister, eleven years my junior, who has taken care of Mom and has power of attorney. She has been handing me small tasks to ease her burdens and give me something useful to do. Find this package. Check out social security. Draft this. Call about storage options. To date I’ve done quite well. Very dedicated to my tasks.

In a way, it keeps me connected. We are having brisket this evening. Store-bought, frozen mesquite smoked brisket. Sorry, Bobby! Bobby is Jim’s uncle, who crafted his own smoking rig and babysits his briskets for 13 hours. Not me. I’m not standing in a parking lot to wait for brisket. We’ll go to Bobby’s house in Dallas before we do that! Probably Stubbs BBQ Sauce.

You might look up Alton Brown’s baby back ribs recipe. I combined it with “Smoked Butts…” baby back recipe (on my book list) and peppery sauce and it’s a great combo. Generally FN stinks but Alton doesn’t. Even Jim likes him, because he’s about science.

Roasted red potato wedges with thyme and olive oil and garlic. Corn on the cob, the last fresh ears I could find. Perhaps a few grape tomatoes to munch on.

I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. Just fed Zoe so she needs to go out. Zoe’s needy, must go. Dee

Mom obtained a paralegal degree while Alison and I were in high school. She went to work for a law firm and Alison and I were tasked with making dinner a couple of times each week.

We always made the same things. She made Mac & Cheese, and I made Tuna-Lemon Loaf. This goes along with our childhood board puzzle/game where I put in the US and South America and she did Europe and Africa. Now I’m afraid we’d both be lost with all the new/re-named countries.

So, I didn’t want to make Mac & Cheese because it took too long. What I did was basically a tuna souffle. Two cans tuna, three eggs, yolks in the mix and whites beaten to stiff peaks. I don’t really remember the rest but can ask my sister after the dust settles.

I don’t remember what I was going to say next as I’ve spent the last 20 minutes on the phone with Margie, Jim’s Mom, She’s a nurse and has been very helpful with information on Mom’s drugs and dying. She’s at the VA with a lot of older vets so has been through this many times.

From time to time, I do make my own Mac and Cheese, with special cheddar. The tuna souffle has gone by the wayside because Jim can’t eat anything that swims. But I often wonder how it would taste.

Thanks for sticking with me and have a great evening. Dee