Tag Archives: family

Some Weekends

we get to spend with family, cooking and reminiscing and hanging out. We do what families do, whether rain or shine, or airport delays.

I just got off the phone with my m-i-l and am thankful to have her in my life. We cooked up a storm this past week. There are weekends, weeks, days, hours for which we are, and should be, thankful.

On a flight today I met Joanna. She and her family met via Facebook. She flew in to see them after 30 years. Significant family. She sent along and made Philly food; they had a Mexican feast on Wednesday then traditional “American” Thanksgiving.

Three family members are pilots. Joanna, send some photos! They took hot air balloons over the mountains around Albuquerque. Joanna will spend next Sunday hosting her other Thanksgiving with her loving husband, kids and six grandchildren. She has a wonderful spirit and personality and I wish her well.

My family used to sit at a dining table with a tasty Thanksgiving meal. Some thought of it as being together. I thought of it as a formal meal eaten alone.

Over the years I’ve had holidays crafted together to benefit those with no family or overseas or just alone. I’ve been alone before and it ain’t fun. The more, the merrier.

Holidays are only a small part of the memories I cherish. Joanna was one plane ride in the sky. Yes, over the day’s travel travails, this I’ll keep.

Best wishes, Dee

Thanksgiving and Family

Now that Ebola is out of our hospitals please let us keep it in mind. We will need to fight it better than we did AIDS, that denial will hurt us forever.

Now I can stop watching the faux news which only hits on whether Black Friday or Cyber Monday is the best shopping day. Now they all say it’s Thanksgiving Day.

Sorry, Nanny, thanks for the turkey, I don’t have time for dessert as the mall is calling and these are the best deals of the season. Retailers, you’re spoiling perhaps the one day a year when families get together and share a meal.

Hey, folks, instead of going to the mall, how about leaving the table after dessert and clean-up and instead of watching football, help plant trees or build a home. Or just stay home and play outdoor Qube, as we do.

I plan to be at my in-laws at least three days before Thanksgiving, to cook and visit family before my husband arrives. That’s what we do every year. I would never get up from Nanny’s table mid-meal and leave to go shopping.

Shop for what? My husband and I do not celebrate birthdays, holidays or anniversaries. Why buy extra stuff we don’t need? Before we married I made him promise not to buy me little things, Hummell  figurines or dogs, cats or angels. I mistakenly told a relative the other day, and it was agreed that it’s just more s*** to dust.

We’re on our own and not even together right now due to a contract. The most important thing we can give to our familes is enjoying time together. To me, that’s way more important than a great deal on that sweater or a pair of Jimmy Choo’s. Hug your family this holiday season. Dee

Thanksgiving

is different this year. My husband has been gone for nearly four months on a contract consulting gig across the country. I’m holding down the fort.

Great news is that he’ll be home in a few days, briefly, then meet me at Nanny’s 1,500 miles away for Thanksgiving. Sadly, I’m driving his car there and he’ll take it the rest of the way. He flies in, I fly home.

There is something to say for strategic planning. I’m not good at cards or picture puzzles but give me a problem and I’ll think about it and find ten ways to do it then awaken at 3 a.m. and have it down. Outside the box.

Interestingly my husband and I often come up to the same or very similar conclusion even though we go through very different mental processes to get there. He’s left brain/physics and I’m right brain/liberal arts. Yes, I’m sinistre and he’s dextrous, as handwriting is concerned.

The puzzle is that I can bring anything I want to Thanksgiving in the car and take as little as possible back on a plane or planes. My husband’s task is to take as little on a plane as possible to me at our shared destination while having enough casual clothing for Nanny’s, then driving with everything I think he needs for the next few months (simple things like a winter jacket and perhaps some corduroy trousers for weekends).

We bought my mother-in-law a 1957 Necchi sewing machine, gorgeous, all metal. It’s in the car. So is 25 pounds of food. There’s another wrinkle to this puzzle. The dog can’t know I’m leaving so I’m taking one thing out at a time. Yes, she will have a responsible young woman staying here with her but gets upset when my husband and I leave with suitcases.

Thanksgiving has led me to many thoughts of food, as I started 12 years ago as a girlfriend who brought some spiced almonds and cashews to place on Nanny’s kitchen table for noshing. I’m a northerner in southern territory and would not even think to make a side dish or dessert and compete with the southern ladies.

Now there are at least 35 desserts but as a 12 year wife I get to bring up to seven dishes, melding the war of northern aggression with the south that will rise again. M-I-L and I literally dance around the kitchen for days cooking.

This year, I’m just getting started: spicy almonds and cashews (Epicurious); boursin and toasts; Dee’s marinated Kalamata olives; cranberry spread; brussels sprout and cauliflower gratin; corn and chorizo casserole; and mincemeat tarts.

There’s always a lot of meat at these gatherings and as we all age some of us and younger generations want to be at least part-time vegetarians. I help out in that regard. No, I do not put a sprig of parsley on a meaty plate. Nor do I place naked broccoli on a platter. With sixty guests there are vegetarians and I like to provide something satisfactory. It may not be the healthiest meal in the world but it’ll be tasty and perhaps have some toasted pine nuts in/on it and some Parm.

There are gifts in the offing as well, but I cannot tell of that, as I look forward to our annual family gathering. Cheers! Dee

ps I went to the bank and got $20 in quarters. Last time I went through this stretch of road there were no people, I’d run out of quarters so threw the toll booth a dollar bill. Their receipts added up at the end of the day but for two years I’ve kept the receipt in case there’s a warrant out for my arrest.

pps Italian change purse from Dad. $20 in quarters for toll booths. In the car. I’ll keep secretly packing from the dog, another week and a half. D

 

 

Family

The trees are changing and getting more bare. A family we know is moving this week across the country. As my husband and I have moved several times over many years, we know that when people move, they’re gone forever.

My father changes places several times per year. We try to keep in touch by email but mostly he re-sends jokes from old buddies.

My husband’s family is in place, on a ranch in Texas. Two, actually, for now. His grandmother hosts Thanksgiving for up to 60 folks every year. This is our annual family event. I started with two but think I’m up to 5-6 dishes every year. My mother-in-law and I have a cook-fest for 2-3 days and it is a joy for me to spend time with her. Lately she’s been concerned that our dog is not coming along, because she helps with floor clean-up!

It’s good to have a family that stays in the same place for decades as I’ve never had that, all my life. Nanny “adopted” me 12 years ago as my grandmothers died before I was a year old.

We only had the family, six of us, for Thanksgiving and my mother was resentful that my soon-to-be husband joined us for dinner. She placed our luggage in the hallway and told us to find a hotel. She’s gone now, no matter whether she didn’t want me ever to be born, she’s gone. I’ve a Dad and another family who actually like me.

This year I have to do boursin and spiced nuts for the kitchen table, mincemeat tarts for dessert, and I’ll try a corn custard for the main table. Yes, I may be flying in with M’s new/old sewing machine but I have a family.

Very few women have a father-in-law who says “I have to try this dish, because I know who made it.” It’s the same guy that after an hour in my presence took his son aside and said “When are you going to ask her? It’s OK with me.” It took his mother another four days but we’re OK now. Fall in love, even if your love is across the country and you only speak 15 minutes a day. Pay your cell phone bill and hope things will work out. Dee

Gifts

are things we give to people we love, and Thanksgiving is the best time as that’s when Nanny has her family fest for 60 folks. A couple of years ago we got the kids an outdoor game I don’t know how to play – I was just a cheerleader, for both sides, of course.

We don’t usually do holiday gifts. A few years ago we got our nieces and nephew three old-school games: Tinker Toys; Jenga; and Scrabble. We always liked encouraging them to think.

Jim’s MIA this year working in the land of fruits and nuts so I’m doing my own thing. Right now I’m focusing on the three kids and Grandma M. No, I can’t tell you or they’ll know! Tell you later once I figure out if something will fit in my car. Cheers, Dee

Roots

I never thought I had them as we moved around a bit as a kid, but I always have and they’re always there.

Sometimes we know there are stepping stones. Ten years ago this month we adopted our dog from a shelter and have seen her through hard times. My husband is back where she was born to speak at a conference and that’s where I told her he’ll be, where we adopted our sweet, needy (that’s for you, K) girl.

Sometimes folks put down roots after high school or college but we were both stubborn and waited for the right one to come along. It took a while for both of us. Now we’ve been together over 12 years.

Places don’t matter. Home is where we are, and these are our roots. With a bit of knowledge and wisdom I am Dee thanks to my families and friends.

Christmas

Today I dispose of our first tree, ever. As a kid, our parents would get us each an ornament, designate it by initial and year. While I haven’t found those yet, I’ve tried to create the tradition with my husband who says he’s allergic to trees.

We’ve a moose on a trout from his trout-fishing expedition, unsuccessful as I had to catch several steaks at the market. A bear on a sled, a Santa in a kilt, a thistle for me, from Scotland.

Several tagboard ornaments from an event I created over 20 years ago. On the back one says To Dee, Love Helen.

As the sun comes up this morning I like to remember family and Christmas. While we always put up a couple of ornaments on an outdoor wreath this is our first tree in our twelve years together.

When I get up early the sun is not up and I plug in the tree and it’s just happy. It even has a whisk, a reindeer serving cookies and a copper saute pan ornament on it. Next year. Happy New Year! Dee

Punting

We heard on Christmas Eve that family from 1,200 miles away may be coming for a visit. They planned on Friday. Yikes. Then they called this morning and said they’d be here this afternoon.

Oh, my! I didn’t even have my “to do” list started on paper, it was in my head, but no menu or shopping or anything. So here I am awaiting a call and tidying up. Haven’t combed the dog yet, yes Miss Tumbling Tumbleweeds.

I made a list for my husband and called the butcher to have an identical steak to the one we ordered for Christmas day cut and ready to go (they like me, I bring them chili).

Not to worry. I am the Mary Poppins of the day. I’ve a week’s worth of dinner menus planned. Also, a list of the most interesting things our young nephew would like to see. And though we’ve one video game he loves and has almost mastered (age-appropriate) we’d rather he see ice fishermen, old pump house equipment, a science museum and flight museum and sled down the big hill after building a cardboard sled with his Uncle Jim.

Yes, we punt and enjoy family for the few days a year we get to see them. This will be a special treat. Also a challenge as this good cook has a picky eater on her hands and I’ll have to do some Auntie L trickery to hide things he hates (he’s not allergic to anything) and ask him to try it first, then I’ll tell him what’s in it. Culinarily yours, Dee

Kubb

It is also called “Viking Chess.” We bought a lovely wooden set for Nanny as she said she wanted a new game to play at Thanksgiving.

We measured and practiced in the front yard. All the kids were in back behind S’s place so we set up there, heirloom tape measure in hand, to downscale the size of the “court” for the younger kids.

We were missing one stake but instead of asking the company for another my husband has another route: string with rings, one for an adult court, one for kiddos.

They loved it and our best players were C and K, and K is a five year-old girl who had her target and went for it and was solid. C can be expected to be an athlete, and came through with winning strokes.

It’s a nordic game that is actually played up north in the USA. We brought it south of the Mason-Dixon line. Basically you chunk wooden “javelins” against small wooden posts and the winner gets the castle.

I never played, only tossed two javelins, but was active for both teams on the sidelines while my husband and brother (his, now mine) refereed. Oh, yes, this game needed some teaching and refereeing! We all had fun until three games in, the sun started to go down and the temperatures with it.

I did get to meet Uncle S’ new dog, a Great Pyrennees who protects the goats. Also I petted Dolly, a gorgeous Percheron, the biggest horse I’ve ever met. I’ve been spooked by horses for many years since I was thrown by a pony as a kid. Dolly let me pet her and followed me out into the pasture. So did a little wild kitty named Wayne.

Thank you Nanny and grands and great-grands for alleviating my fear of horses. Thank you Wayne for being you and taking care of mice in the barn. Thank you, M and J for housing us and Nanny and A for feeding us and letting me know I have family and now Kubb in the South, land of Sweet Tea and every kind of dessert possible.

I was held up on a train (freight derailment) so only got to make three dishes instead of the five or six I had planned to do. Brussels sprout and cauliflower gratin with parmesan and toasted pine nuts, mincemeat tarts, and southwest-inspired toasted almonds and cashews with ancho chili powder, chipotle, other chiles and cumin. The latter goes to the kitchen table after dinner where the ladies sit and chat.

It is always good to see the ladies and chat after supper. We now have a family photo and then the blessing, then go to dinner. Yes, I’m now with the moms and grandmas and there are growing up kids that don’t need 24/7 parental attention as they’re all with each other playing something on the grounds.

My standouts last week? C playing piano with me (he’s never had a lesson) and violin, he has studied for four years. He has an ear for music and a talent I’ve not seen often. He gave me a big hug when I left and yelled out “I love you!” I thought that was so sweet. I tried to talk to him about fingering on the piano but he would have nothing of it. Then again I asked if the gold mark was third position on the violin. I always had a star sticker on first position. One must nurture talent.

Find out about Kubb, also termed Viking Chess. It’s a fun game for family gatherings or work or whatever. Enjoy! Dee

Family and Friends

A friend once asked my father out for a drink after work on a Friday. Dad said no, he had to finish up paperwork so he could start fresh on Monday. This wonderful gent said to leave something on your desk else you may die. No, I don’t know the Irish story – tried to look it up – but this is a true friend and I believe they had that drink.

People always say that when one is nearing the end of life, one does not devote thoughts on time, on hours, weeks, days, years spent at work. It should be centered on friends (some may be from work over the years) and family. I think of loved ones and am concerned.

There was a party here yesterday for all the neighbors. My husband and I attended, got separated and met many new people. We like knowing our neighbors and my husband even pulled a few balloons out of his hat to engage a child. The kid challenged his father to a balloon pirate sword fight!

Yes, that’s what it’s like to be older people at a party. I was asked for serving items I may actually get back someday. People always know to ask Dee for kitchen equipment.

I did get to dance, twice, to a good band. Once with my wonderful husband and once with a neighbor who did not know of my disabilities (except I told him I was wearing rubber-soled shoes so couldn’t turn as fast as he wanted me to) and I’ve nominated him best dancer of the evening. Hey, hubby taught me the Texas Two-Step in his closet as I was helping him move away due to dot-bomb 12 years ago. He came back three weeks later… for me.

Single gals, a word of advice. Aside from waiting until marriage, yes, consider who you’ll be sitting across the table with for breakfast for the rest of your life. That will rule out the serial cheater at the gym and the married guy. Great abs do not a great husband make. A mind, however, lasts forever. Do I need to write a piece on geeks? I love geeks. Enough for now, I’m babbling, Dee