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Vive La Différence

Today, our proven extremist Supreme Court basically offered Donald J. Trump immunity for violating the Constitution by fomenting an insurrection and conspiring to stop the legal transfer of power to his freely and fairly elected successor, Joseph R. Biden.

Happy 248th Birthday to U.S.! We left England because the King was all-powerful to the detriment of his people and came here, where we founded a democracy with no king and where everyone is subject to the same laws. Until today.

When deciding for whom to vote for President of the United States this November 5, consider this.

Joe Biden is our president, who will continue to act honorably as though he were not able to break the law to enrich himself or his friends, trade money for pardons or ambassadorships, order the DOJ to jail or audit all his enemies or prevent the constitutional transfer of power to his successor.

If we elect Donald Trump, he will be king, and act as such. And he will never leave office and perhaps even make us live in a permanent Trump family dynasty. The grift that keeps on grifting.

The stakes just got a whole lot higher, folks. I, for one, want to spend the rest of my life in a democracy and will move heaven and earth to do so. If not, consider the rights we’ll lose next: voting; reproductive freedoms; freedom to love whom we wish; and the list goes on. Luckily this blog has a niche following or I’d be preparing for the midwest gulag that will be empty once the millions of migrants are deported. What else would they be used for but anyone who ever said a bad word about Dear Leader?

Think about it and read Project 2025 to find out what we’re in for should we opt out of democracy. I’m afraid, for the first time, for our country now that the Supreme Court has shown its true colors. Think, and vote. Dee

Optics

The debate is over, probably the last debate between these presidential candidates. Was it good? No. Did I learn anything new? No. Did it change my vote? No.

We have here two older white men with varied expertise. One is a lawyer who has been well trained in legislating, mastery of foreign and domestic policy and a lifetime of leadership and, yes, statesmanship. The other is a real estate developer who has had middling success at business, having been given a major leg up by his inheritance, and a lifetime of conning people into giving him money, topped off by great training as a reality tv host. Are either eloquent speakers? I think not.

The pundits have been handicapping this debate for months. I don’t think you need 23 cable tv hosts (crammed behind the same desk) live telling you everything they think about what the debate participants are saying. Plus, the Friday morning quarterbacking was insane. I know you get paid to hear yourselves talk but, please. Give it a rest.

In the end, these are the two people we voters have a choice for, for president of the United States. They’re the same people they were 24 hours ago before the debate, and tomorrow morning they’ll still be the same people with the same qualifications.

Yes, I believe that Joe Biden flubbed a lot of opportunities given to him by his opponent with his firehose of falsehoods. He could have been over-prepared, or his brain was just working too fast for his words to catch up. I know the feeling. But a former president, who wants to be re-elected, lied so many times I couldn’t even count them. And many were stupid lies, about losing the 2020 election, abiding by the vote count in 2024, even saying that Democrats are “for” murdering infants. Presidents should not be in the business of lying to the American people, look at what that did to the country during COVID.

The debate was neither man’s best performance, but let’s take it for what it was, a performance. It’s not what presidents are judged on. Presidents are decision-makers who have a wealth of information at their fingertips to make the best decisions for the American people. All Americans, not black or white, red or blue.

We can have a man who has served the American people all his life, surrounds himself with the best and most knowledgeable people, represents all Americans and will fight to preserve and defend our democracy. The other is a convicted criminal who tried to overturn the last election that he lost fair and square, who surrounds himself with sycophants and will repopulate the administrative state with theocrats and party loyalists who have no expertise in gene sequencing or meteorology or anything substantive and only wants to help rich, white MAGA Republicans. It’s an easy choice for me.

Heaven forbid, if Joe Biden kicks the bucket in his next term, we all know his VP, who has been vetted and is up to the task. With Trump, we might end up with Ivanka, Don Jr. or even Eric.

Yesterday was a day in the life. I’m a lifelong Buffalo Bills fan. Yes, they lost the Superbowl, more than once, but they got up the next day and fought on. Joe Biden’s been here before, and been underestimated before. Stop wringing your hands, Democrats. Joe Biden has given America over fifty years of his life. We can allow him an off-night. Think, and vote. That’s today’s Dee-ism.

Waiting for the Pileup

Tonight is the first presidential debate. I’m not optimistic. I do keep up with politics, my husband says too much, but I believe strongly that America’s democratic future depends on a well-informed electorate before voters make the decision to change the United States of America we know into a dictatorship.

The founders created a balanced system between executive, legislative and judicial for a reason, and there is always a tension between the triumvirate. I believe that when Congress abdicated war powers to the administration, they kind of cooked their goose for a long time. Now Trump wants a unitary executive that places all executive power, semi-autonomous agencies such as the FCC (and probably FEC so no election violations will ever be dealt with), and the ability to refuse to issue funds allocated by Congress. Plus control of the Justice Department and weakening (or killing outright) the rule of law that has governed our country from the outset.

To add another wrinkle, with the bureaucrats doing as they’re told by Congress and the President, and Congress acting like a bunch of out-of-control junior high school students, the Supreme Court is stepping in to say that they’ll be both the executive and the legislature and deregulate everything, while taking women out of the picture entirely.

When I was sixteen I was picked out of the crowd, surprise, surprise, by one of the coolest seniors in high school and ended up on my first date. Two weeks later everyone decamped for Spring Break and he came back from Florida with a popular cheerleader. Oh well, I got to see a couple of PG movies.

Two years later upon my return from freshman year away at college, he called my first week home. We went out to the racetrack. I hated it. It was clear we were going to be together (we were, for years) for a while so I had to fix this.

Education was prized in my family, with both my parents being the first in their families to go to college, and at the time my father was a college president. Sending me out on Friday nights to go to local NASCAR races was not their idea of an appropriate date but they kept pretty quiet. I had a problem not with the people, but with the premise. Everyone was eagerly awaiting a multi-car crash. I’d prefer the Olympics, where an athlete can win a speed competition by a fraction of a second, a gymnastics routine by a soupçon of increased difficulty. Not assessing injuries and putting out fires.

I hate the way the mainstream and right-wing media are handicapping this presidential race and especially the debate, waiting for the inevitable pileup. This election is too important to rely solely on daily polls and harangues. Perhaps we’ll see an above-board exchange based on subject matter Americans really care about. Perhaps not.

My solution to the NASCAR issue was simple. My new boyfriend’s older sister and brother-in-law had a toddler who needed a babysitter. I volunteers, while remaining close to the family as after the races, parents and grandparents would come home with pizza and I didn’t have to see the pile-ups. I wasn’t paid for this gig, but it checked every other box for me.

Please know what this upcoming presidential election, and all the down-ballot races, mean for you and your family. You might be surprised. I know who I’m voting for. Above all, vote! Dee

Crassus, Redux?

Finally, I have an answer. I asked myself, why the need for mass concentration camps across the United States? Donald Trump, as is his wont, answered my question sanely and succinctly. Migrant fight camps. After all, why not round up our best non-native born housekeepers and landscapers and make them fight to the death for our amusement? They’re all mass murderers, rapists and psychopaths, anyway. Phew. And I thought he wouldn’t have a good answer!

I’ve a way to make the Fourth Reich even better. Separate the camps into mini-camps. The press camp would start with Bob Woodward, who Trump thought liked him until those fun interviews became a book. Throw in the entire staff of Pro Publica, all democrat reporters and those at Fox who don’t go the extra mile to make Trump look really good.

Then there would be the Expert sub-camp, led by the hated Dr. Fauci, who has saved gays from AIDS and entirely too many from being culled by COVID. Toss in anyone, from medical researchers to meteorologists, product testers, anyone who really knows anything about anything.

The Religion sub-camp would include all priests, imams, rabbis, and any protestant who doesn’t specifically toe the MAGA party line. Plus any philosophers, we can’t have that. May as well add anyone capable of independent thought, including all Democrats. I changed my mind, this is an entire camp, not a sub-camp. Everyone here will be in solitary confinement, as we can’t afford to have them talking to each other.

Another camp specifically for women. Uppity Black women, in particular. Now people would pay double to see these women fight to the death! Triple, even! Tish James vs. Fani Willis as the Main Event!!! Ini bikinis, in Jello. Of course Tanya Chutkan would be tossed in there preemptively because she’s sure to rule against Our Dear Leader. This camp would not be limited to lawers and judges, however. There’s plenty of room for women who want to keep the right to vote, bodily autonomy, financial independence, the right to not be killed by domestic violence. Also every women’s libber who ever lived on the planet.

Lastly, a camp for anyone who ever agreed with our founding fathers that there is a really good reason to separate church and state. That would include any democrat politician and all RINO’s. And anyone in the military who believes his/her oath of office is sacrosanct and will not obey an illegal order from Dear Leader.

Now that they’re all rounded up, the middle of the country is filled with MAGA undesirables, Reich IV can take the coasts. All the universities and prime military bases (Coronado and its golf course among them) have been vacated so there’s space for the faithful. Washington, D.C. is desolate so Marjory Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert, who now run the city, have agreed to guest star in a special event at the arena that’ll be more popular than a Taylor Swift concert. Trump can’t decide whether to train them in pistols or swords, but promises it’ll be extra special and televised for an extraordinary fee that will be used to pay Trump’s legal bills and shore up his tanking DJT stock.

Hope this sounds good to you. All this activity will give us time to initiate the real plan. For the little people who don’t matter to billionaires or small-minded, myopic pols, I am… Spartacus

ps I hope all y’all are Spartacus, too.

Another Horrible Day

in Milwaukee. Today there’s a music festival in the neighborhood spanning seven stages with a number of local bands to showcase and tons of vendors. I think we’ll venture out this afternoon, the horrible weather will be sunny and in the low 70’s, before the heat wave hits tomorrow for the foreseeable future. But rest assured, a sweltering summer like we’ve never experienced should not be equated with any climate crisis caused by burning excessive fossil fuels.

We’ll probably run into our horrible neighbors, because who but horrible peoplle, as described by one Donald J Trump, would live here? Mr. Trump is expected to bring his felonious reputation and fellow felons to town next month to be crowned king of the Republican National Committee and its nominee for King of America, or should I say president. One step at a time, buster.

I’m told different stories by his enablers about why he called Milwaukee, his kind host for the 2024 RNC Convention, a horrible city. They can’t seem to get their answers straight. What I read through the inevitable cover-up is that it is because of: violent crime, and that rate has plummeted since Trump was president last time; and something about the 2020 presidential election being rigged, even though the Trump campaign’s own recount of Milwaukee and Madison showed that Biden won fair and square.

In fact, when Trump plans to be in town next month for the convention, his mere presence will increase the crime statistics, because so many of his business and campaign associates are also felons. Then there are all the as-yet unindicted ones, many who still hold elective office, who have been with him lock, stock and barrel in The Big Lie since its inception.

In Milwaukee if I am mailed an absentee ballot, I have to fill it out in front of a witness, sign and date it and have the witness do the same. Then I have to make sure the Board of Elections has a valid copy of my Wisconsin drivers’ license with photo on file showing current address, with proof of said address via a bill or official document sent to my home. Then, because drop boxes are now illegal and the mail is uncertain to be received in time to be counted, I have to drive downtown to the main election office and go up to the fifth floor and hand-deliver my ballot.

Then, I have to go back down to the idling car where my husband is with our dog (who we can’t leave in the car because it’s too cold in November) and sit there while he hand-delivers his ballot. Why? Because otherwise I could be convicted of “ballot harvesting” even though he is my legal witness to said document and I am his.

Welcome to being a registered voter in Wisconsin! Whenever I can, I vote in person as the precinct location is walkable and the poll workers amiable. I deliver my absentee ballot, unopened, and assure that it is voided, then I am issued a new ballot to fill out. Upon watching my ballot go into the counting machine I am given my “I Voted” sticker, thank all the poll workers for their service (followed by an email to the Board of Elections thanking everyone) and promptly lose the sticker in the snow/wind as I walk home.

The irony of all this double-checking and proof of this and that is that ballots received prior to election day are not allowed to be opened until the polls open on election day. That is not for “election integrity” at all. It was devised probably by the RNC so they could say mail ballots are fraudulent and so that someone like Donald J Trump, as he did on election night in 2020, can say that he won and to STOP COUNTING BALLOTS! And you wonder how The Big Lie got started.

Question. If Donald Trump won the presidency in 2020, why weren’t any down-ballot races investigated? Doesn’t it seem odd that ONLY Donald Trump was cheated that year? Just like all the investigations into this particular president’s attempts to steal the 2020 election (federal and state cases pending), steal top secret documents that belong to the American people (case pending) and illegally influence the 2016 presidential election (guilty, 34 federal felony counts) are “politically motivated?”

Maybe rural Wisconsonites will vote for Trump regardless of his thoughtless comments on its most populous city, but that’s OK. They’ll like him until he tariffs their farms out of existence. Perhaps a day will dawn when they finally realize Trump doesn’t care a whit about them, their businesses or their lives and only cares for his own and that of his rich donors. He said it himself last weekend, he doesn’t care at all about his voters, he only wants their votes. What you see is what you get.

The sun is up, dog is fed and walked and the windows are open bringing in fresh lake air before closing up for the summer. Lest people from outside Milwaukee think it an urban hellscape, I assure you it is not. I don’t trip over homeless people outside our building or worry about being robbed while walking to the market. There are people walking everywhere, many with canine companions, and families grilling picnics in the local park. Tennis players at public courts across the road. Music and arts and even kite festivals. And here, a lot of houses have front porches where people can hang out and watch the world go by. It’s summertime, school’s out and it’s time to put the top down or dust off your Harley for a beautiful, sunny day. Vote! Dee

Life in a “Horrible” City

The sun will be up earlier again today, 5:11 a.m. to be exact. With a herding dog (Miniature Australian Shepherd) who swears by routine, when the sun comes up a walk must be taken then breakfast (hers, naturally), made with all due haste.

After I dress and open windows (when it’s cool enough) to air out, and cover some artwork to protect it from damage from the blistering morning sun, we’ll set out on the morning routine.

We’ve a stellar view of Lake Michigan toward the northeast. A block away begins a string of County parks designed by Frederick Law Olmstead of New York’s Central Park fame. Or we can go down to the lake and watch the boats. Or walk up by the University. So many choices. Lulu doesn’t care as long as the morning walk is brief so she can get to the important stuff, like food.

But I like early morning walks, with the dew on the grass and another day to plan while breathing in the lake air and enjoying the respite being along the shoreline brings from the hottest weather yet to come this summer.

The City has spent months preparing for the Republican National Convention, here in just a few weeks. Back in 2020 we planned in the same manner for the Democratic National Convention, scheduled to be here but was mostly done remotely because of COVID. Cities strut out their best for the conventions, and businesses and political parties expect a financial benefit as well as the usual puffery about staging a successful national convention.

That’s why we were so shocked to hear Donald Trump call Milwaukee a “horrible city” yesterday. Out loud. And all the Republican elected officials in the State of Milwaukee made excuses for this inexusable slap in the face to his host city. Now Donald Trump says it’s all cities and it’s about crime. Aside from him visiting as a newly-convicted felon, serious crimes in Milwaukee have gone down by double digits since he was president.

Perhaps Donald Trump wants to start a crime wave in Milwaukee? So many of his work and campaign buddies are already felons. If so, he should stay home. I feel safe here. I walk alone with the dog, and she’d just as soon wiggle her butt (no tail on an Aussie) and get petted than protect me from a potential assailant. In my years as a temporary resident here, I’ve never been afraid in my neighborhood or what Trump thinks is its scary downtown near Fiserv Forum, where the Convention will take place.

Milwaukee is a beautiful city, especially this time of year. I’m a Great Lakes kind of gal, having grown up on Lake Erie. From my earliest years until recently, all I really had to do was switch from the Bills to the Packers, not a real stretch as the Packers were always my second choice in the playoffs when my Bills didn’t make it. There’s the same Northern spirit, with brutally cold, snowy winters contrasted with that much more-appreciated warmer seasons. There’s art and theater, even music at Summerfest, beer and brats. And cheese.

Shame on Donald Trump for denigrating his host city. One wouldn’t think he has to win Wisconsin in order to become president again, eviscerate the Constitution, send women back to the dark ages and make sure he doesn’t spend a day in the Big House (not the White House). Vote as if your life depends upon it. Because it does. Dee

Our National Security

We as U.S. citizens pay intelligence gatherers and analysts to keep us safe. They provide raw data to be synthesized for decision-makers on going to war or moving troops to potential problem areas around the globe.

Politicians, generals, admirals and the like make decisions to send troops into battle based on intelligence. That information is sacred because it saves American lives. It should not be stolen and stashed (and re-stashed) in public ballrooms and bathrooms of a former president’s golf club.

Today, after all this time, Donald Trump and his fellow indicted associates are in court trying to prove: that this indictment is a personal and political attack on the former president; and that the search was illegally conducted by the FBI.

I guess what bugs me about all this is that everything is always about Donald J Trump. If it rains today, it’s a personal attack on Donald J Trump because he wanted to play golf. If traffic snarls because of his moronic and overblown entourage, it’s everyone else’s fault. If no-one shows up to cheer him on in an empty park across from the courthouse, it’s because Joe Biden kept his supporters from the area.

I’m sick and tired of everything being all about Donald J Trump. He stole classified documents, stored them recklessly, and obstructed justice when the National Archives had to stop bending over backwards to not offend Herr Schitzinpantz leader of the Fourth Reich and involve the FBI. Then the FBI bent over backwards before finally issuing subpoenas then, months later, initiated a quiet search.

This is about our national security, our spies, our soldiers who put their lives on the line for our safety. It has nothing to do with Donald J Trump and his insufferable ego. It has to do with stolen secret papers that are supposed to be continuously maintained by professionals in ultra-secure facilities.

Perhaps if Judge Cannon rules that the search was illegal and tosses the case, it can finally go up for review by more competent judges who weren’t all named to the bench by one Donald J Trump. While we’re on the subject of judges, allowing a private body to recommend judges for political bona fides and loyalty to Donald J Trump leads to rubber-stamping of incompetent and even dangerous judges. Being a judge is a serious job, a reward for a sound mind, fairness and adherence to the rule of law, not solely to the potential leader of the Fourth Reich.

I grew up knowing that the world didn’t revolve around me. Normal people pass that stage by about age five. Our nation’s democracy is at stake in a big way. We have to choose our leaders on what they’ll do to benefit all the people, not just themselves. Running for president just to stay out of jail is not a good enough reason for me. I know I’m not the center of the universe but hope that there are enough of us citizens who care about all of us Americans, not just one. Pass it on. Dee

Space

Yes, Trekkies, the final frontier. But not here, not today. I’d like to talk about kitchen counter space. As iyou know, there is only so much of it. If I could have everything my little heart desired, my home would only be kitchen and I wouldn’t be able to find anything.

So, we need to know what we need, what we use most and how to best access it. Over the years, I’ve come up with my own strategy. Yes, I’m biased based on some level of expertise (cooking school) and years on this planet spent cooking for myself, my family and guests.

Shortly after I graduated college, my mother gave me a glass punch bowl and ladle. She had to entertain a lot for Dad’s position in the arts and got a new silver set for weekly artist/donor receptions. Every year I trotted it out for the staff party at work and lugged it home to wash. Decades later, I no longer have it, don’t even remember to whom I bequeathed it. Some things you just don’t need for your lifestyle.

Now, if I were eating an Asian diet that required a number of small meals per day based on fresh rice, I would definitely have an electric rice cooker. Ditto espresso, but I might have espresso several times a year and I’d opt for a small stovetop model than a huge coffee/espresso maker with frother.

The kitchen counter is prime real estate, a place in which nothing can be unneccesary or out of place. All I can advise young cooks starting out in their first apartment is to consider what you like to cook and what you need to cook it. Then buy quality products. Many of mine I’ve had for decades.

I was instructed to purchase for cooking school a good 3-4″ paring knife, a 10-12″ chef knife and a steel honer. That’s it. Oh, knife guards to protect them and a case so I didn’t look like a serial killer on the subway. I still have and use all those knives and have added one ceramic and one santoku chef, a boning knife, a fish boning knife, two mid-size utility knives (for living with only two knives overseas) and several inexpensive paring and picnic knives. I do not keep them in a block, the ones I use every day are on a 24″ magnetic strip near where I prep food on my many plastic cutting boards (that are standing in a narrow cupboard below the counter)

Appliances include a KitchenAid two-slice toaster; a KitchenAid coffee/spice mill with washable container; a KitchenAid 12 cup food processor (no longer made, and 21 years later the lid is beginning to break down); a 5 qt. KitchenAid mixer that’s 35 years old and running strong; a KitchAid blender with glass vessel; and a KitchenAid electric tea kettle (sorry, fell in love living in England and Scotland). That’s it.

Otherwise I have two crocks, one for metal spatulas and utensils, and one for wooden spoons and spoonulas. Also a heavy stand for a roll of paper towels. That’s it.

Cooking stores will sell you strawberry hullers, cherry pitters, mushroom brushes and tons of stuff you don’t need. A paring knife has so many uses, and so does a heavy chef for pitting olives or cherries. I go to a hardware store for pastry brushes. I even bought a $4 curry comb (to brush horses) at a farm store to scale fish. But that’s another story for another day.

I love my current kitchen. Although the sink doesn’t have a view (unless I tile it with an Italian scene), my prep area does and I’ve plenty of storage for food, pots and pans, china and glassware, slow cooker et al. If you’re just starting out, consider what you really need and let your kitchen grow to be your very own. If you have too much stuff, use this as a guide to pare down. The kids can use some stuff, can’t they? Cheers and keep on cooking! Dee

Nervous Nellies

Stick with me today. I do have a point.

I looked at my phone for the weather shortly before 6:00 a.m. to take Lulu (our Miniature Australian Shepherd) out on the first walk of the day. It said rain starts in four minutes. We hightailed it out the door. A few moments later a thunderclap came out of no-where. Pull pull pull, try to slip Martingale collar. Mommy, get me home NOW!!! In between thunderclaps, there still wasn’t any rain, we tried to go inside and back out several times to no avail. Every dog we ran into had the same issue, all were trembling and pulling the leash home to safety. An hour later, the storm had passed, Lulu came out from behind the toilet and lay by the window again as if nothing had happened. We eventually were able to venture outside for her to finish her business.

Dogs have the luxury (or not) of living in the moment. If the sun is out, there was never a thunderstorm and all is right with the world. Ditto fireworks. For people, we need time to regroup after exciting or stressful situations. A lull in the action.

Think of entertainment, movies for example. Alfred Hitchcock was the master of suspense, but he didn’t keep you on the edge of your seat the entire movie. In “To Catch A Thief,” John Robie (The Cat) had the “meet cute” with Francie, and delightful scenes with her sassy mother, before he got seriously involved in tracking the jewel thief. my favorite line is the last one in the film, “Mother will love it up here.”

Of course this takes us to one Donald J Trump. For the past nine years, he’s had to be the center of controversy, therefore attention, at every minute of every day. Furious that he lost the presidency, he’s been Joe Biden’s unwelcome backseat driver every day of this administration. It’s one thing to disagree with his policies, but Trump won’t even concede the election after sixty courts ruled that it was fair.

Joe Biden works behind the scenes, and really gets things done. Big things, bipartisan things that have brought this country 180 degrees out of the pandemic. As an added bonus, he shares credit with others who have been toiling in the salt mines with him. Including members of the opposing party.

Trump takes credit for everything, blame for nothing, and leaves no air for anyone else. As a nation, we deserve to be tired. In politics, every moment of every day need not (indeed, should not) be a crisis. Unfortunately, we cannot all think like dogs and convince ourselves that the first quiet moment is the beginning of a period of lasting peace and tranquility. Unless and until Donald Trump is safely out of the picture. Personally, I’m thinking Gitmo, but only if there is no cell service. Hope you liked the tie-ins as I have to go. Thunderstorms again, all afternoon, so Lulu has to go out again now. She said NOW. Ok, ok! Cheers! Dee

Mr. Evil: The Next Level

Hey Brain Trust! I have something to add to my really old Rally Speech! Remember my dear friend Dr. Evil? He held the world hostage, threatening it with a nuclear warhead unless they paid ONE MILLION DOLLARS?

Maybe not for rallies. How about a FLASH SALE instead. Take this down:

SUMMER SALE! Want to deny climate change another four years? Give my campaign ONE BILLION DOLLARS and I’ll overturn every environmental law and regulation that Crooked Joe put on the books! Write those checks and executive orders at the same time and send them to John McEntee at home, please. I’ll institute the Executive Orders ON DAY ONE and put out of work all those Red State employees who have gotten good paying jobs since I left office. Who cares if we have clean air or clean water? Let’s just DRILL BABY, DRILL. But wait, there’s more, I’ll make your corporate tax cut permanent!!!

Attention THEOCRATS! For just TWO BILLION DOLLARS, I will overturn the Constitution of of the United States and the separation of Church and State will be gone. White men, take out your checkbooks! I will make sure that women no longer have the right to: abortion by any means at any time; plan for families through in-vitro fertiilization; travel between states if they are of childbearing age; sign a check without their husband’s permission; get a no-fault divorce; or protect themselves and your kids from proven violent gun-owning spouses. Look at how many pesky things I can do for you if you just get out your checkbooks and send a check to John McEntee, at home in Washington D.C., please. But wait, there’s more! There will be no more problems with racism as the Christian nationalists, the Proud Boys and Three Percenters will be installed at every level of government for your ultimate convenience.

No, we haven’t forgotten the LEGISLATURES and JUDICIAL BRANCH! For just FIVE BILLION DOLLARS we will make sure the Voting Rights Act is gone. There will be no more voting. Not really. We’ll just put up our friends for office and judgeships and they’ll toe the Trump Line and all will be well. No jail for rich people. Our friends (ONE MILLION DOLLARS each to … you know, at home, please) will hold office, get to have a great social media grift (SEVENTY PERCENT goes directly to me, through you-know-who), a decent salary until you get snapped up by a big lobbying firm, and great health insurance for life!

I’m still working on some other ideas but here’s a start. I expect to see it up on my campaign website during Mothers’ Day. The gift that keeps on giving.

Don’t laugh, if we remain silent it may come true. Cheers and please vote your conscience. I know if this matters to you, you have one. If not, the Overt Bribery Office is the gold-plated door down the hall on the left. Dee