Category Archives: Editorial

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Spouses

It’s funny how things change when we marry. I’ve written about the falsity of bridal magazines showing everything as laying on a sofa together on a weekend reading the papers and doing a crossword puzzle, and that’s not ever going to happen in real life. Sorry, brides, congrats husbands being out playing ball.

A friend’s wife is on an educational mission out of country. My husband was away for seven months and now is home every weekend. As Old Married People we’re allowed to say we miss our spouses when chatting for a moment or two. I spent some time thinking of a gift he could bring his wife. My husband is home more often recently so he craves my homemade food.

This thirty hours he spent sleeping and working on his computer installing a new hard drive et al because work doesn’t hand him a laptop when he walks in the door and take it back when he walks out. He has to use his own and give money to big companies who may not pay his salary or expenses.

I drove my husband to the airport, after making him the best spaghetti and meatballs he ever had, even met G the Swede’s test because I roughed up a huge Challah roll into crumbs in the food processor and then soaked that in milk. G, our neighbor, taught me Swedish meatballs and I’ll make them for him for my final exam but I’ve already aced it so he’ll be learning Texas Chili this weekend and it’ll be fun. Then he gets his final exam when he has to make it for us.

Oh, after spending all weekend on his computer components and downloads even at 4:00 this morning my husband finished whatever downloads he needed, later he placed his suiter bag and laptop backpack next to each other in the back of my SUV. I dropped him off at the airport. He called me as I was on overpasses with closed ramps under construction right by the city. “Oh, I forgot my laptop bag.” So I finally found a place to turn around and went to the airport twice.

It’s different than NYC. You can live in a building and know some neighbors and others from walking the dog. Still, some folks, when they hear your key in your door, close the elevator anyway. I always ask if anyone’s there and hold the door.

My husband tries to always hold any door open for me in any way. Things happen when you’re married, like kids. Unfortunately not kids for us. We have had a wonderful dog for over 11 years, however. Neighborhood mascot? Perhaps.

I never looked for a husband. We found each other. Fate? I don’t know. I can’t tell you how different it is from when you’re a teen to perhaps college to engaged and married. We eloped, older. Still met all the parents cross-country beforehand and believe we’re in good graces with all.

Kindness plays a part. Slings and arrows will come no matter what one does in life. Let all but the worst go by and address the latter. This includes the work and other frustrations you bring home every day. Vent and get over with. Have a great dinner together and watch an old movie, take the dog out and go to bed.

Clubbing? What is that? I’ve never heard of it. I have a club/pack of my own, thank you. I have a husband who forgets his laptop. Dee

A Cook’s Delight

It should not begin with calcium deposits but this story does. Between two towers lies a terrace that leaks into the underground garage we pay a fortune per space to park in, whenever it rains or snow melts. It has ruined my baby’s paint. OK my lovely car is 12 now so not a baby but I’ve asked to change spaces twice in three years and now my husband’s car (nicer and newer than mine, like our computers and cell phones), sports a new car cover because the only space available for him was the one next to my first that ruined my car’s paint because of, yes, calcium deposits.

I was the one who suggested an herb garden on the terrace, however, in large sealed containers. It’s my best place to shop, free, in the neighborhood and as a service I also trim them to keep them from going to seed too early, also I tell neighbors to avail themselves of the herbs, and horrific prices at stores.

Finally, after years of resident complaints, the garage is being sealed so it will not leak on our cars, which we thought were parked safely in a gated underground garage. While they undertake this month-long noxious process, we are not allowed access to said garage for trash or recycling or to our vehicles.

We have valets. As we are not supposed to tip, I’ve been making a few sweets for the staff because everyone from management to concierge to maintenance to valets are stressed out because of us and the inclement weather.

This afternoon, with my husband flying in for the weekend after a stressful week, I picked up some of his favorite things, pork savory bacon, blueberry breakfast sausages and ground beef. What he wanted most was spaghetti and meatballs, which I will make tonight. I also had a Vidalia onion, a Granny Smith apple and a teeny bottle of cognac so bought some chicken livers and cream cheese and toasted some walnuts from the freezer and made a pate. My husband hates this pate because it has chicken livers in it. I don’t like chicken livers, nor do many folks, but they like my pate. All except Miko. We’ll get to him later.

Recipe to follow! I needed help so J assisted in opening the chicken livers so I had to reward him with the results (I feed everyone around here). I bought some artisanal roasted garlic crackers, that’s my next task, making excellent crackers, these were quite fragrant. I had two with aged cheddar for lunch and it was not a good pairing.

Dip a crunchy roasted garlic cracker into my pate and it’s heaven because the onions and apples are sweet. One of the valets, Sam, tasted my plate. Of course I had to make a plate for J because he helped me open the chicken liver plastic carton that is adult-proof.

Sam the valet came back, “May I ask a question?” Of course, I thought he wanted the recipe. “May I have some more? This is delicious!” Yep, he’s the guy I met the first garage/valet day and every day since he says hi, Dee and pets Zoe and makes her do a trick for a treat, a bag that she donated to the cause of people and dogs awaiting their cars to assume their daily lives.

A lot of verbiage for one line, I know, but I had to set it up.

Pate

1 container chicken livers, adult-proof packaging

1 medium Vidalia or other sweet onion

1 Granny Smith apple, peeled and cored

1 package cream cheese, at room temperature

2 T brandy or cognac

1/4 c walnuts, toasted

salt and pepper, I like a bit of fresh or dried thyme with the onions

I usually let the cream cheese soften in its unopened package overnight.

Chop the onions and apples to be processed (food processor works, because you’ll need it later) and saute in a bit of butter until soft, seasoning with s&p.

Drain the livers. Remove the veg/fruit and add to food processor and let cool.

Add a bit of oil/butter to the pan and on medium high heat saute the livers, with s&p, until nearly done. Turn down the heat. DO NOT USE a full bottle of Calvados or Cognac to flame the livers. Pour the required amount into a measuring cup and add it off the flame. Heat, ignite and wait for the flames to subside leaving flavor, not alcohol.

Add livers to the food processor with veg/fruit and cream cheese and blend. At the very end add toasted walnuts and pulse a few times. You’ll want some texture. It looks like baby vomit at first. You made this in the morning, correct? Place in frig all day in your chosen mold and take it out an hour before your guests arrive. I like to make it in a simple bowl lined and covered with plastic wrap, turn out (invert) onto a serving dish leaving the top wrap intact until service. Did that make sense?

Serve with a cracker or crostini/toast of your choosing, perhaps sliced Granny Smith apples and some toasted walnuts. Always place a walnut on top of the spread so nut-allergic guests know what’s in the pate. Enjoy!

Well over 769 words so far. More now. Miko the huge Akita declined to lick the residual pate off my plate. Upstairs, our Zoe licked it no problemo Mommy. Undiscriminating. Must be why she loves Miko!!! Gotcha!

Do you know how long this would have taken me to write in high school or college? Age and wisdom, some do not have both but I love writing for you and hope you’ll try my off-the-cuff pate. You can always try it on your dog, first. Dee

 

 

Flowers and Texas Chili

My husband finally gets to come home on weekends. What a treat! I asked him what he wanted (after telling him his flight would be in early in transit and where the best sit-down restaurant was in his terminal).

He said Spaghetti and Meatballs. I got more beef than usual and may get some pork tomorrow to do my final exam on Swedish meatballs. I’ve got some culinary tricks up my sleeve that may actually let me pass.

Then my Swedish Kottsbullar coach comes to us next weekend and learns to make true Texas chili, circa 1962 when Lady Bird Johnson and her husband then Vice-President LBJ hosted a feast for 5,000 including President Kennedy. She served Pedernales River Chili. I’ve my own version of it and can only say that in Texas, chili does not include beans.

I usually stick to a code. I don’t cook Italian for Italians, Greek for Greeks. Chili for Texans. But I will teach my Swedish neighbor this and he and a guest will come over for dinner to taste our efforts that include grinding the beef and sauteeing the onions and garlic and seasoning so it can simmer for a few hours. I’ll take care of the simmering. He returns, we re-season. Then in a few weeks he’ll have his final exam. I’ll have to lend him my Kitchenaid mixer/meat grinding apparatus to make it work. He wants one anyway and I’ve had mine for thirty years. No, it’s MINE! He’ll have to find his own.

Husband will be here in a few hours. I bought him two bouquets of flowers and he asked for spaghetti and meatballs so will have it tomorrow night. I have his favorite savory smoked bacon and also blueberry sausages for our two breakfasts before he leaves again. Darn, I forgot the eggs and my car is buried for the evening. They’re re-doing the garage, don’t ask. It’s a mess but the valets get my car quickly. I only wish that they wear masks because the odor is noxious and probably poisonous and the EPA would not approve of this effort.

Texas chili, next weekend. Party. Who’s bringing the Margaritas? Dee

 

Loved Ones

When a loved one is in hospital or hospice, every night take notes. Write essential questions and get to the hospital early. The docs like to visit for their 3-5 minutes before family arrive so be there and have your questions ready.

Get them answered. When you ask why X has not responded to the surgery and is sicker than before it, Doc will tell you it’s normal and to check back tomorrow. Then you find out the wrong surgeon did the operation of a specialist who didn’t show up and caused cancer to go everywhere and kill your loved one, X.

Be very kind to the nurses. Doc’s are only there for five minutes per day. Nurses have shifts. Get to know their names. Ask them questions and leave the room when needed (if Y needs bathing, a linens change and such).

Eat. Do leave while your loved one sleeps. You must keep up your strength. Coffee, soda and machine-generated snacks do not count. Get out. Breathe a bit of fresh air. Arm yourself for the next battle.

Talk with friends and family. Even if you’re a long-time spouse whose lifetime love and best friend is in that hospital bed, reach out to others.

If the situation is serious and Z will not make it take a few moments to compose yourself and assure yourself you are ready for the loss and will recoup from it bringing Z’s love, wishes and intents with you. Then talk to Z and see what s/he wishes. Last rites? Burial, papers, who to contact. Contact everyone s/he asked about and ask if they’ve anything to convey. Do not ask them all to visit. Anyone who stays around for a few days is close. You don’t want the boss or golf partner showing up out of the blue, that’s what funerals are all about and why acquaintances are not at the hospital with you and other family members.

If needed, make final arrangements. Hopefully there is a will and executor of such. Get through the formalities, even if you must host a post-funeral event.

Grieve. By being there you’ve done much of it. Rest. Get away for a week or two. You have life, and hopefully your spouse, sibling or friend will care for you as you did for Z, Y, or X. Always with hope for ailing friends, Dee

See You Tonight

In 14 years of being together, my husband has never said that to me. It was a given until last year, when it didn’t make sense timewise or financially to come home halfway across the country for a weekend.

He’ll still have to fly tonight and I have to plan Saturday dinner and other menus and shop for food but we weren’t wiped out by a tornado last night, despite the storms so all is well. Next weekend we’ve a cooking session with a neighbor (not with husband, he can sleep or go buy dog food) and dinner with neighbor and guest. It’s a Texas Chili lesson with a Swedish neighbor. My husband looks forward to it. Not the prep or lessons, the dinner.

My husband called from 1,000 miles away to say “I’ll Be Home Tonight.” Life is good. Dee

PS They don’t call me the dog lady for nothing. This morning I held my 35 lb Zoe on a leash along with a 120 lb Akita who wants to be her boyfriend (don’t worry, she was spayed at five weeks of age) and they both stayed calm and three feet apart, a leash in each of my hands and were perfectly behaved. Zoe didn’t flirt at all! Cesar The Dog Whisperer would be proud. Cheers, Dee

101, not Dalmations

Things To Do.

Last night we had tornado warnings. We cannot get into our garage because of re-surfacing as that would be the best place to go. Dog Zoe was sound asleep after I lifted The Hipless Wonder up to the bed but there was this strange lightning and I could hear the wind.

My husband called from Maine, knowing I couldn’t get to the garage and while I suggested the back bathroom or hallway, he insisted on the stairwell.

Early this morning it’s very cloudy but the Lake looks clear. The second wave of thunderstorms missed us. Dog Zoe is behind me on the futon. It’s not officially “time” (to go out) yet.

Now is a time for good neighbors. Unfortunately one of ours has passed at a young age. A Marquette player and community benefactor, Marc Marotta died of a brain aneurism. He lived here. Yes, I’ve seen him and spoken with him but never really knew who he was. He had the air of someone who thought I should know, but while I admire athletes I do not adore them or keep track.

Now we’re looking at places that get way more tornadoes, severe storms including hurricanes. Why should I worry? My husband and dog slept nine hours through Hurricane Ike, a Cat 5. I sat by our windows and blogged it until the power went out. We spent the morning draining the garage, unblocking storm drains and knocking on everyone’s door to make sure they were OK because management didn’t show up for days. Yes, days.

Well, now we do have a hurricane kit. It’s in storage and we only have access to that for certain hours. Food, crank radio, you name it, it’s in there. Time to replenish if we’re looking at the Eastern seaboard. All for now, friends – Dee

ps My husband is flying in tonight and I have more than 101 things to do. No garage means no trash and I’ve salmon skin fermenting. Not good for a guy who’s allergic to fish.

Dear George Clooney, Director

Mr. Clooney, I must thank you for making Monuments Men once again. I must be brief because storms have started again and I must make sure our dog feels safe.

I learned things backwards in college as art taught me history (our old dog Zoe just came out to the office to see me during the next round of this incessant storm and I placed her on the sofa). History did not teach me art. History only taught me dates, 1066, Battle of Hastings. When I put things together between my curricula everything started to make sense.

The art of Greece, Romans, Medieval, Renaissance and Reformation plus Impressionists and even Dada-ism, gave me insight into the politics of the day. Yes, I worked in politics for a bit but ended up in arts and consulting.

When your crew, in the film, brought back the Ghent altarpiece that now resides at the Getty Museum in Los Angeles, I felt it. Especially so with Michelangelo’s Madonna and Child at the Bruges church. Now it has a different abode, with bulletproof glass and no visitors within 15 feet.

What are we doing to our art now? I consider it ours, the world’s populace, as it is our heritage. At the 1964 World’s Fair where most people think aliens take off near the historic world dome, I saw the Pieta. We only got to go down an escalator into a black room with a white light on this historic work, then go back up on another several feet away.

I will never forget that day, just as I didn’t when JFK was killed. I was five years old and knew I had a passion I’d find someday. Years later I went to St. Peters’ at the Vatican and they, Madonna and the Dead Jesus Christ were there, but protected after the Pieta was shot. I have not been back since that day over 30 years ago.

Sad that we are doing to this art what the Nazis did, they did protect or burn it to keep it from the people who love it. We just have it in museums that don’t allow most people in because of high ticket prices. Perhaps they might see a work their family owned before the War. I’ve traversed the Ponte Vecchio many times as well as Florence’s churches and new bridges, post WWII. I’ve seen what war has done to Europe and Britain and the US. Also floods, think 1966, the rising of the Arno and Cimabue’s Altarpiece.

I believe these soldiers and their compatriots in the art world and not necessarily the Army, deserve credit. Thank you and I must go, the storms have taken up again and it’s only me and the dog tonight so she needs to be taken care of. Dee

Fr. Murphy and Monuments Men

I loved that movie. Why? Because of Fr. John Murphy. It’s not my kind of movie but throw into a pot the producers, director, cast and crew it’s a really tasty stew.

Fr. Murphy taught me art history one and two, and renaissance and reformation. He helped bring together my college life.

When I saw Monuments Men my husband didn’t like it because there probably wasn’t enough pure war in it. I loved it for the art and the love the Monuments Men put into retrieving it for us to see today in museums around the world. And I knew many of the works even though we only saw them for a second.

A fellow student tried to cheat off my test and I said never do it again and I would tutor him, free, to pass the next test. I was smitten by art, not the boy, and will do anything to get into the Uffizi or the Louvre. St. Petersburg awaits my visit. Fr. John showed us slides in a darkened theater. I saw the works come to life as I wrote papers of my own and traipsed the roads and hills of Florence to get to San Miniato al Monte.

I’ve done that pilgrimage several times and always stopped at the church along the way to give money to the lady who tends the feral cats for their food and medicine. I may be a Franciscan in heart and soul and spirit, and hope I will be remembered for that. In practice I fail daily.

My husband, and dog, know that I am not the perfect person they wish me to be, but I do my duties and they have dinner prepared by a good cook. Dog gets great dog food, husband gets my food. He likes it!

Fr. John Murphy has placed a stamp on my life. He helped me grow into the person I am today. I can love art and place it in history. In my mind, he is a Monuments Man. I can only save mankind’s treasures of mind and art by giving them to another generation. That is what Fr. John did for me. That is what I will do for future generations. Thank you, Fathers, as you did not bring me religion, you brought me a way to carry it on. Cheers! Dee

A Brief “Date”

Yes, our dog Zoe likes every dog she meets but, as a flirtatious “cougar” who was spayed at five weeks has two favorites and just flirts. She does not date.

I know that if we are threatened in any way I can call upon Miko and his dad J. Yes, I made J an interesting quesadilla of pork, cheese and my homemade salsa after Zoe and my “last chance” walk.

Miko is an imposing dog, huge and with gravitas. So is his owner. I feel safe here alone with Zoe and thank my neighbors, all, for checking on us while my husband is away on business.

Now Zoe and I just have to teach G, a Swede how to make Texas chili! I’ll have to issue a challenge. But I have to pass my final exam first, Kottsbullar, Swedish Meatballs he taught me. Then we make Texas chili and I test him. Then we toast, I guess, there are no wagers on this as yet.

I’m enjoying making a different homemade salsa every time and making menus for my husband and for guests. I change things, pizza for young kids as they get to make dough (for us, tomorrow) and roll out my dough and choose toppings. What they choose is so interesting as it tends towards personalities. One is brave, the other just cheese. That might be a great study. Fr. Cap and Fr. Murphy would have liked that. RIP Fathers. To friends, cooking, safety, Dee

Oh, hon…..

I did have a good night’s sleep without him because our dog went to sleep on his side and he didn’t kick her accidentally in the middle and have her jump off and beg to be lifted back up (she has no hips so can’t jump up) as she loves her pack, that is us, her humans.

Zoe is a gorgeous dog because she gets 20 hours per day beauty sleep and doesn’t need moisturizer, only a bath care of moi every two weeks with Mane and Tail shampoo and a comb-out at least 24 hours later. She doesn’t like blow dryers.

So, my husband was off at work for seven months. Then home for three weeks. Now he’s away for a few days and I’m talking to him. Oh, hon, can you check?????? I need those papers to file X. Dinner will be ready in five! Whenever I say anything he asks what? Not you, dear, I’m talking to the dog. OUT of my kitchen, you already ate. Good girl.

It’s not fair. Send him away. Bring him back sick and I literally bring him back to life with broth, soup and solid food then he’s itchy and twitchy and bored to get back to work so now he’s back. Now I have to take our old dog out and will awaken with my hand on his pillow. Probably talking to him, as well. Married life. Single gals will not get that this is not a spread in a getting married magazine of laying on the sofa together reading the NY Times and doing the crossword.

It’s about real life. Missing each other, arguing from time to time, reaching out for a hand or arm crossing an icy street and knowing you don’t even have to ask or look, we both thought it at the same time. That’s marriage. Not crossword puzzles on the sofa.

He’s arranged to come home every weekend. Oh, I love him so. Now I’ve work to do. Taxes, menus, cleaning, dog walks and bath. I don’t have time to write. Cheers! Dee