Category Archives: Editorial

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The Help

We saw the movie over the weekend, sad times for the maids and cooks that literally raised children and did everything else so rich white women could pretend to be something in their social circles and spend days getting their hair and nails done to do so.

I’ve only felt like “the help” once in my life. I spent three summers working at a summer resort and the residents were downright mean. I was working for $.43 per hour, around the clock seven days a week and taking guests around in a car and hate letters were written that I had the nerve to drive a car. It was the only way to get everything done. This was before computers so I had to write everything by hand.

When I finally got home a reception would be going on for the guest of the day and I’d have to help serve hors d’oeuvres or help in the kitchen. I chose the kitchen. Guests would escape the party and come in for a glass of water for a few moments and we’d chat. That was the only escape.

Wishing the summer to be over and for me to be back at college learning something and being a peer was what kept me going, knowing I was earning practically nothing towards what I had to pay for my education but living in the middle of no-where it was the only choice I had.

I’ve seen “The Help” twice, once in the theater, and cry every time as I know all too well that sense of helplessness that these good women feel. When one “class” subjugates another, righteousness must prevail.

Since college I’ve worked for the underdog, whether it be shelter/stray dogs and cats, young people needing an education, or just being kind to a grocery clerk or security guard. Ask them, the pets will just lick my hand, the others know me by name. Be kind to someone today, Dee

 

Men and Dogs

Last week my issue to solve was that of a utilities billing error that was rendered 100% in our favor and it didn’t cost us a cent, except 18 phone calls/emails and much research. That doesn’t cost a thing. I’m a wife so my time is not billable.

In this post in no way do I assume that men and dogs are incompatible. Certain dogs are bred in certain neighborhoods to scare people. Many other dogs are loving family companions and that is my goal.

We currently live in a tower. This evening, I was in the lobby taking my 31 lb. Australian Shepherd dog mix out for a walk. A group of people walked by, four couples. The men went to the other side of the lobby, the women came by my and another woman’s dog and said hello and one petted Zoe.

When we got outside they were awaiting transportation and I picked up Zoe, who would let a 2 year-old steal food from her bowl and just look up at me with sad eyes. The men recoiled, one woman petted her and asked her name, which is the same as her dog. One of the men said “She’s not like the dogs in my neighborhood.” He reached out and petted her back while I was holding her.

This is only part perception, mostly reality. If Maddie’s Fund and ASPCA and the Humane Society want to really stop animal abuse and irresponsible breeding and dog fighting rings our human culture must change. Not just for the dogs, for the people. Just as our business model is, you do what you do to go out of business and have people fend for themselves.

Twenty years ago one of the first programs to shelter dogs from abuse was a beacon to me as a behaviorist and humanitarian (petarian?) as they took in animals and held them without threat of euthanasia where the spouse/children were abused and in an anonymous shelter. They knew that abusers start on small things (pets) and graduate to children and spouses.

I would go a step further and allow families in domestic violence shelters to keep their dog or cat or fish as a symbol of family stability during a crisis. In hurricane Katrina no pets were allowed to be saved and even the inept government rescue agencies have changed that policy, so should domestic violence shelters.

Getting the abusers off the streets is paramount, but education is the key. One does not need to breed aggressive dogs to fight each other or attack humans in order to gain dominance in society.

How can we do it? Unless I was Mother Teresa (I’m not) as an old white lady there’s no way I can go into gang neighborhoods. As an engineer my husband does not like top-down solutions and would rather create from the ground up.

That’s how this must be done. I once read a story of a gang neighborhood with regular drive-by shootings into homes. The ladies installed speakers and played opera music very loudly and the gangsters left. If I could find these ladies, we’d have a solution today. Cheers, let’s hear your solutions, Dee

ps Yes stop drugs, gangs, cock fighting, dog fights, animal abuse, child abuse, spousal abuse on a continuum. If we don’t nip it in the bud, we end up with people who hold girls for years aka A. Castro. Up the ante in jail time for animal abusers and you’ll have your people abusers at bay. Case closed.

Who Do We Elect, and Why?

Note to professors: you taught me well. But this is from the heart and from years of experience in politics, plus age and wisdom you always knew I’d gain (thanks Fr. C).

Perhaps our founding fathers made a few missteps. Like having no founding mothers. In ye olden days teachers and carpenters and lawyers ran for office. Now it’s only lawyers.

The class clown needs attention because he’s bored with school, gets average grades but knows he can ace everything if he wanted to do so.

Sometimes the politician is class president, I believe a lot of those folks peter out in high school or college.

Today we have Anthony Wiener and Eliot Spitzer running for office in NYC. We have 70 year-old Mayor Bob Filner in San Diego groping women.

Who are we and why do we vote these people into office? My theory is that they are attention-seekers. It would be interesting to see how many are middle children.

When our country was formed it was an honor to run for office. Now it’s a stepping stone to a lucrative career as a lobbyist or attorney. We vote for and “hire” them so we don’t have to deal with legislation ourselves. If there’s a dead squirrel in the street, we may have the wherewithal to call the right department to do dead animal removal. Otherwise it’s someone else’s problem.

We vote for the name or party on the ticket, if we even take the time to vote at all. That’s where the founding fathers faltered. They thought we would be interested in our government and where we are going. In a representative democracy we have ceded all power to the government, and don’t get me started on the NSA and privacy issues.

We just don’t care anymore. A government of the people, by the people, for the people. It’s still summer. Take your kids to the state capitol, or to Washington. Read the Declaration of Independence. Know that we can each make a difference if we choose to do so.

Make the word “politician” a good one, and not one that rates below used car salesman. People who seek attention and get into scandals because of it are not worthy of our votes. Thinking ahead, author of legislation that affected 35 million people, and one that just got three new stop signs installed on our street, Dee

Weather Weenies

Year after year, national weather services show a storm right where we’re living and say it will threaten Chicago or, heaven forbid, the northeast where anyone of consequence lives.

I’m up in the middle of the night (husband is snoring loudly) and saw a portion of Rick Steve’s England and Wales where he says the English pushed all the undesirables off to Wales, Scotland and Ireland. I’ve Brit and Irish in me, and my husband has some Scot so we fit right into the outer colonies.

When in the Rockies weather weenies all talked about how a storm was affecting the Pacific northwest, then how the storm would affect Chicago and the northeast. Then, they’d gloss it over by saying “snow in the Rockies.”

Now they show a storm center right atop us and tell us how it’s going to affect the northeast. Is that so Al Roker (love you, Al) et al can get on their Wellies and yellow rain gear and stand out in the middle of a major storm? Are we just a ratings punch line?

People live in San Diego and hear LA weather. Glad I’m not in SD right now with the Mayor’s hand on my leg during a Council meeting. Move to the Rockies and you have to know where to get your morning traffic/snow report online because the news will never tell you.I learned to look it up by individual interstate traffic cams so I knew when those plows were coming through.

Do you know how much damage Hurricane Ike did to Houston? We already had the poorest of the poor from New Orleans, Katrina victims, living there and that city would not lift a finger to help us. We had no power, water or food for weeks and FEMA just made things worse. No-one helped us. But there’s plenty of $$$ out there for NY/NJ and “Sandy.” Let’s help those rich folks who stupidly built houses without stilts directly on the beach!

I’ve had the privilege of living in many places and the US and overseas. During Ike every loft in our building was damaged, except ours. My husband and dog slept through the entire hurricane while I blogged through it until the power went out. I sat there, alone, in front of the windows watching the Bayou flood and trees sway like God never meant them to sway. Most of the windows in the skyscrapers 1/4 mile away and in view, had all their windows blown out.

All the news could talk about is that Ike might hit New Orleans. Dear Weather Reporters: People live in the mountains and in the midwest. You can tell us what is going to happen to us as well as those NYC folks.

I’ve coats and boots for every weather issue and even made the time to greet ice fishers by walking on Lake Michigan this past winter. There are actually interesting stories between Pacific time and east coast time. Be in touch. I’m a good cook and will also show you around. Cheers, Dee

The Man

I read people well. Instinct and experience. I don’t really think about it. Perhaps you’ll let me tell you something. When you, dear girlfriend, get married you’d do best to keep things in your name and both your names.

We were recently served notice from the owner of our building that we were not paying our utility bills and would be evicted. Neither the utility company (my husband came here two weeks before me so I put it in his name) nor our bank which will remain nameless, would talk with me.

When we married over ten years ago I let my husband be on my bank account and created another so I’d have my own name on an account and also savings. We are co-signators on each account. Now my bank will not speak to me about my original account without my husband’s authorization.

After 18 calls and emails, I finally found out how to send an email to the bank from my grocery account. Oh, I also said if they didn’t help me I pay all the bills and decide where the money goes and after 15 years I’d find another bank.

I also found that by keeping under $200 per month in my grocery account is costing us $8 per month so we’re going in together this weekend to change things.

The bank called and had our utility provider on a conference call. It was all worked out, and the next four months of utilities are pre-paid because for some reason our money was going to somewhere in Texas. They have the funds and it is their error.

So, everything is hunky dory in Dee-Land. We did have a dog play-date/walk today. Lesson learned, especially you, gal, is to keep your name on everything. If they don’t let two people sign up for cable or whatever, I’m making my name Josiah Danielle Murphy.

As the Privacy Queen I ask why government and banks they bail out have “privacy rules” that prohibit joint account holders access to information unless their husbands authorize access? I could see it under the Bushes, but now?

Think about it, Dee

Dear Clarence House

Congratulations on the birth of future King George Alexander Louis.

Something tells me Prince Charles never spent the night in hospital with Diana, or ever deigned to strap baby William into the car. Heck, he didn’t even drive the car. William was born in hospital, not at the palace.

Diana, William and Catherine have done so much to change the monarchy. The supreme cuteness of William placing the next heir to the throne (after his father and himself, of course) into the car, then driving his new family home to a hopefully renovated Kensington, was refreshing.

They trounced tradition by issuing a press release, yet the pomp and circumstance continued. They left hospital, let us know the new Prince’s name and went home to lead semi-normal lives.

I welcome the change to relative normalcy, yet love the fact the new prince is named after the Queen’s father and grandfather. Perhaps they should name him George Alexander Louis Cambridge Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Windsor.

Please let me know that Kensington has been revived. When I visited six years ago it was an empty shell that charged $25 to enter only to see empty apartments that princess Margaret used, and a few of Diana’s dresses.

A short walk in pouring rain and I had a lovely lunch at the restaurant on the grounds. The goal was to go to Harrod’s and get a bag for a wonderful lady back home. I skipped that and ordered directly once I got home. Imagine a gal who hates to shop! I did the same for single malt whisky for a colleague. Shhh, don’t tell. Dee

 

Letter from P Queen

Back in the day I had A.B. 1984 for cable television privacy rights. In the end Reader’s Digest killed it (imagine that these days) .

Now the NSA and FBI and our cellphone providers are gaining and sharing data on us that will make you concerned. They tag your license plate, photograph you walking into Starbucks and going to meet your illicit lover at the no-tell motel.

I’m filmed every time I step into the elevator or walk or drive on our street. Dee goes to grocery store and buys dog food. It must be very exciting footage for everyone. Thanks for watching me every time I step out of my home. Or are you in here as well?

The new UK Prince need not worry about press coverage of his birth or entry to society. I’m sure the NSA/CIA is watching his every move. Hopefully the prince will have burps and giggles that will make NSA/CIA/FBI realize that they are people, too. It’s a glorious sunrise today, a photo would negate its beauty. Check the FBI, they probably have the photo, sun assaulting clouds. Dee the Privacy Queen

Top Chef Masters

As I eagerly look forward to the next season of Top Chef Masters, I think of the questions often asked at the finale. including first food memory, what made you decide to become a chef, first restaurant dish and future goals.

I’m changing it up as a home cook and neighborhood food maven (several neighborhoods and families consult me regularly) who went to one real cooking school and one in Italy that was the best educational vacation I’ve ever had.

In this dialogue, I am both questioner and commenter and as this is my blog I am not confined to one dish or answer. If you like it, try thinking about what brought you to cooking.

* * *

What are your first food memories?

Being bored with Mom’s food even though she cooked a square meal every night with a homemade dessert, preferring them to go out and having the babysitter heat up one of those newfangled TV dinners that we always had to place on the garage steps for 15 minutes to cool mid-winter.

Going out to eat for the first time, German as my father spoke only German in his home growing up and his mother taught my mother to cook. Italian because I had my first real spaghetti and meatballs and tried pizza for the first time and realized there was a world out there worth checking out. We were in a small village, no Thai or Indian restaurants (still none decades later) but it was wonderful!

What made you want to make cooking a priority?

Eating, of course! Every Saturday my sister and I spent time at the library and I finally found Betty Crocker’s Boys and Girls Cookbook and amassed late fees of $.31 which prompted the library ladies to call my mother. Three weeks later I had it, new, for my 8th birthday. We held grand themed birthday parties for our little brother, the first was king and queen with the castle cake, the second a pirate adventure. We made tagboard/construction paper costumes and everything.

Then we started cooking dinner a couple of nights a week when our mother was at school. In college I learned that if I did all the cooking and made shopping lists, I’d never have to shop or clean up or do dishes. The shopping thing didn’t work well. I was cooking for 12 (many were daily guests) and needed to get 50# of potatoes and they came back with canned potatoes their first trip. From then on I supervised weekly shopping and budget. I rolled the cart and they filled it up while I counted the $$$.

I dedicated this blog to my aunts and my mother. My aunts are superb cooks, and my mother became one partially because of them, and because Aunt J started giving her Gourmet magazine for 30 years and Mom was willing to try new things, like souffles, and chicken and peach salad.  They all started me on this journey that is now joined by my husband’s family and their traditions.

Why did you quit a successful career and spend your life savings on cooking school?

I couldn’t stand the rat race anymore and knew that in my late twenties I wouldn’t have another chance. I picked a good school that didn’t require me to spend two years gaining an Associates Degree in other subjects (I already had a B.A.) and dove right in. I learned so much, worked hard and it was the best time in school I’ve ever had.

Afterwards there was a great apprenticeship with gardens and ruby chard and fishmongers with fresh salmon and chanterelle purveyors, organic produce and great people. Then work back home was cans and cans and nowhere to wash hands wearing the coat and pants of the 300 lb. chef who’d been fired, and I spent two shifts scraping dried cheese off washed and dried french onion soup bowls while adjusting the rope I’d brought to hold up those huge pants. I worked nights and interviewed days then broke my finger coming from an interview (got the job) and couldn’t use my knives for six weeks.

I took a temporary job working for my dad in another business and kept it, determined not to work in any kitchen but my own. The wonderful restaurant at which I apprenticed was contacted for a reference and called me immediately trying to get me back. Alas, that part of the country is very expensive to live in and I couldn’t do it on $6/hr. It is a place I will bring my husband to visit and potentially a place to retire.

What are you doing now?

Cooking for my husband, family and friends and providing fresh or frozen raw balanced food for the dog. I enjoy seeking new ideas and food combinations and trying them. I’ve actually taught a couple of cooking classes but don’t teach dishes, but techniques so it takes time to come up with a curriculum, then recipes and once one gets a “job” doing a class, I lose way more money in terms of time than they pay.

What is your culinary future?

Keep learning, every day. Travel to learn other cultures and foods. Teach a younger generation to appreciate food and where it comes from. Garden, a knot garden for herbs and a raised bed garden for veggies.

Everything happens for a reason.

Hail to the Prince?

Welcome to the world, young man. Know that your great-grandmother the Queen changed the rules so if you were born a girl you would be Queen as well. England has had its share of good queens, two named Elizabeth and one Victoria.

Now the press is saying that Kate got it right the first time and all she needs is the heir and a spare. It is ironic that for the first time the monarchy is ahead of its people. That a populace who embraced two Queens Elizabeth and Queen Victoria for over 150 years of rule combined to still want male primogeniture is ridiculous.

May you, young prince, someday have a younger sister to protect, and to taunt you and love you and put you in your place from time to time. Dee

Rainy Day Summer Meal

As long as the air conditioning is on, I don’t have a problem with turning on the oven for a bit on a muggy, hot day with rain in the forecast. In summer months I tend not to make long-cooking stews or pot roasts but go to the market and see what moves me.

Yesterday it was roasted chicken breasts, roasted young carrots and Israeli couscous.

For the chicken I got two smaller breasts on the bone and with skin, painted them with the juice of half a lemon and an equal amount of good olive oil, then dusted both sides with a mixture of salt, pepper and smoked paprika (pimenton), then placed them in an 8×8 Pyrex dish and popped them in a 350 degree oven for about 45 minutes.

The carrots were already in that oven for about 15 minutes before I added the chicken. They were lovely, with their foot-long tops which I twisted off at the grocery check-out. I just scrubbed them, took off tips and tails and put them on a baking sheet with olive oil, salt, pepper and thyme and let them roast away, whole, shaking the pan every 15 minutes.

I’m new to Israeli couscous, and have always been a fan of quick-cooking couscous but my husband is not. If I could pack flavor in there and change the size of the grain, I might be able to win him over.

For the couscous I’ve read ratios from 1 1/4 cups liquid to 1 c couscous up to 2:1. The first time I used 1 1/4 and it was perfect. This time I used 1.5:1 and had to watch it constantly and taste, then strain out additional liquid (flavor) at the end. The liquid was juice of 1/2 lemon and the rest chicken broth, and a pinch of salt. This time I sauteed the couscous in a little butter and olive oil for a minute or two, then added the liquid and let simmer about ten minutes. After draining, I re-seasoned, added a bit of lemon zest and chopped parsley and served.

It was a pretty plate, sorry no photos. I’ll have to re-create it for you later! Things get hectic around here when my husband is hungry and the dog is sitting there staring at me (she’s perfected the “I Want Something, Mommy” stare over the years) wanting her dinner so I don’t generally have time to get out the camera. The colors were pretty, though, crispy chicken with pimenton, couscous with parsley and lemon zest and roasted young carrots.

* * *

In a hurry on Sunday afternoon and needing a picnic lunch, we picked up a small pre-made salad at the store. It was very good but I can make it better and less expensively at home. The “recipe” is greens, dried fruit, crumbled cheese and toasted nuts with a tangy/sweet vinaigrette. My husband loved it.

When I think about it different combinations swirl around in my brain. Any way I can get him to eat greens and dried fruits instead of steak or ice cream will be good. Think Greek with romaine, feta, toasted pine nuts (he hates them) and sun-dried tomatoes. Italian insalata mista with mixed greens, Gorgonzola dolce, dried figs and noce. Southern US with arugula, a US blue cheese like Maytag, toasted pecans and dried peaches with a clementine vinaigrette.French salade with greens, Roquefort, hazelnuts, and any one of 150 French vinaigrettes with shaved truffles on top.

I used to make my husband his own version of “trail mix” as he’d pore over the self-serve bins of nuts and dried fruit to find out what he liked best. Then I toasted the nuts, cut up the fruit, mixed and placed them in snack bags in 1/4 cup servings for him to place in his desk at work in case he got hungry one afternoon. That’s a habit to pick up again, for me, that is.

* * *

There’s still a pull-apart loaf of Hawaiian bread from our picnic sandwiches (garlic-rosemary shaved turkey and Muenster-based) and I may make French toast with it this morning, or just regular toast with jam. For true French toast I’d have to cut off the lovely tops so simple toast with jam it is. Isn’t summer wonderful? Cheers! Dee

Note: I never used air conditioning until I lived in the South. Here, we can’t open the windows because of pollen (him) and breeding mosquitos in standing water that no-one will drain (me). So the oven is OK for 45 minutes or so. Dee