Category Archives: Editorial

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Loss

Yes, my mother died five years ago but she never loved me. She cared for me as she needed to do but never loved me.

My husband loves me and has for over 12 years. My dog loves me and has for nearly ten years.

Today I remember two people I’ve had a contentious relationship with for over fifteen years. They just lost their dear dog. I know what it’s like to lose a loved pet and hold them through their final moments. That’s the first time I got the last word with my talking cat, and it wasn’t pleasant.

I felt his spirit go through me. About eight hours after my dearest dog died I felt the same. H and P please remember the good things and time you had together. Yes, she barked at me when you visited. No big deal.

Sometimes people think family pets don’t matter. Dr. Dog told me a backyard dog is a dog without a home. Our dog is old and has no hips. She is lifted to our bed nightly. She is a member of the family and would  be missed as is Miss S.

Condolences, our dear friends. S will be missed. Dee

 

 

Nice Guys

No, I won’t tell you about the bad boys who made me drive an hour to get 52 suits cleaned and pressed, or the one who tried to give back the check and give him cash and go buy him drugs.

I had to abide by the contract his agent had agreed to. Suits were an anomaly but I did it anyway.

I’m talking about the good guys. I’ll talk about two right now that moved seamlessly from artist/professional to human being.

Antonio Benedetto, aka Tony Bennett, was a peach. My father was head of the place and we went over and spent 1/2 hour to make him feel comfortable. Next morning he walked across the plaza right under my “office” and no-one bothered him or asked for an autograph. He had no security, just us. He bought a casual shirt from the men’s store downstairs.

Any star of his caliber may have been shocked that no-one approached him to bathe in his limelight but he was secure in himself and I believe he thought locals/visitors were being respectful, not rude, for giving him privacy. I doubt that would happen these days.

Carlos Montoya was a joy after his manager drove me bonkers for months about the chair he was to sit in. I got every prop shop to open up to have him have a 17″ chair (I still remember this years later) and first I said we’re going to introduce you to the place you’ll be playing tonight. I brought him into the 5,000 seat venue and he looked at the orchestra setup for 74. He asked if he could go up there.

OK, sir. (I was 19). He sat in this first chair and said it was perfect, do we have another? It took five minutes and I went back and called the other dogs off. He came to the house that night and was just lovely.

Oh, a third. Henry Mancini. What a sweetheart. He just had performed and had to do a development reception at our home. He showed up in the kitchen for a glass of water and I gave him my personal octagonal glass (broken since then) and we sat at the kitchen table and just talked a bit. Me and Moon River. The nice ones.

Oh, there’s another, Buckminster Fuller (“Bucky”). We headed off to a rocky start because his people sent his presentation materials to the wrong town. It was my job to get them back before his lecture. He ended up giving me a book and signing it to me thanking me for my efforts. I can’t find it years later however it was a wonderful book on air travel and my parents hosted his 86th birthday (Mom made a geodesic dome-shaped cake) and their 62nd wedding anniversary.

They died shortly thereafter, not because of lunch or the cake. She went first and he went 24 hours later, bereft I am certain.

Two people loom large in our past, one chairman and the other search committee chair. They hired my father 35 years ago and I ran into them with our dogs. It appears we’re neighbors in a new town for us. Let me add gals to this (not many female performers were very personable) and I will say thank you to the grandson of the founder and his lovely, spirited wife. Over many years, they’ve always treated our family fairly and kindly.

I’ll talk to you about the Clancy Brothers another time (good story, I promise).

There were others but these are the standouts for me as a young college kid trying to make money for school. Enjoy your Monday. I remember all of this stuff as if it was yesterday. Is that strange or what? Dee

 

Orange Food

Someone told me never eat maroon food.

Tonight we at lunch at 3:00 after going to a wonderful museum in Oshkosh WI, it was the EAA Airventure Museum. Very well done and great gift shop as well.

As I had part of a ribeye petite steak (the dog got the rest for her dinner) we ate light this evening. Well, I did, anyway. My husband put away about a pound of my TX chili.

I ate a butternut squash puree I made the other day from pizza fixings from last weekend, and ended with a tiny cup of Italian blood orange sorbet. Orange food. Not maroon.

A black radish is sitting in a colander on the counter, the strangest thing I saw at the grocery the other day so I knew my husband would want one. It’s supposed to be thinly shaved on a salad or stewed. I’d rather cut it as thin as I can and go the salad route.

Please hang on to life, new experiences, surprise people you love and eat new things especially fruit and veg. I never thought I’d give in to fate but for 20 years I have done so. It tells me what to do with our lives, and whether something is right or wrong. It’s just a feeling in my heart that my mathematical genius husband does not have. When it’s really right or wrong, at a point I just know.

The other day I brought food into the grocery and treated my butchers to what they have sold me over the past week. While no-one has thanked me yet, those butchers who weren’t there that day heard all about it.

Stir things up! Make your voice heard. It took me a long time to be confident enough to do that. I call out politicians sometimes. It’s our country and they are supposed to represent us. It is, after all, a representative democracy. One would not know that these days.

One three year-old has captured my heart and wants a cooking lesson. She had pizza with sauce, cheese, caramelized sweet onions, marinated Kalamata olives, pepperoni and toasted pignoli. She just put her hands in and decided what she wanted.

I grew up in an era of canned cream of celery or mushroom soup instead of bechamel and fully intend to make a tuna souffle I haven’t made since age 16 without my “wing man” or recipe. I need to teach this kid about food and already have a ladies’ lunch planned with three five-minute lessons that she can take home.

The butternut puree and sorbet were good for me. Let’s say goodnight, Gracie. Dee

Song of the Day

Yes, I wake up with a song in my heart every day, sometimes it does not happen at once, and today’s is Frank Sinatra’s “When You’re Young at Heart.”

I went to a wedding about 15 years ago and the band did songs from the 20’s through the 90’s and I knew the words and tunes to all of them and danced all day.

One person asked how I knew them and I said Dad played these on the piano and we all stood around and sang. He had “fake books” from the 40’s that helped him work through college (first in his family to graduate and actually get a doctorate) and now I have one as a gift last summer. I’ve placed every page in a plastic sleeve and into notebooks. It was a lot of work but he spent a lot of work raising me and it’s not in any way even. I owe more than I can ever say.

How about “You made me love you, I didn’t want to do it….” That’s for my dearest love, my husband. Dee

ps My parents took me to Carnegie Hall to see Frank Sinatra years ago. His voice was not great but my favorite album (I gave my CD to my favorite restaurant owner in Scotland, a few years ago) that has my favorite song on it, Isle of Capri. Who knows why, it’s incredibly sexist. The album/CD is Come Fly With Me.

I have wanted to and been able to travel in my life and look forward to more. My husband spent 36 hours without entering a church or museum in Florence and said he “saw Europe.” Give me a break, dear.

“I love to go a wandering… fol-der-ee, fol-der-a, folderee, folder ah ah ah ah ah … fol-deree,  fal-der-ah a hiking we will go. Age seven. Mrs. P. Thank you! This will be the song of the morning that I sang in 3rd grade. And yes, Donald W did pick his nose and flick it into the fish tank in science class.

Song of the day! Find your own and sing it! This is for you PDX, Dee

Adoption

I was adopted 11 years ago over Thanksgiving weekend. It doesn’t matter that I was already in my 40’s. I never had a grandmother and Nanny came along and “adopted” me as a “grand” (there are many “greats” now) even a few months before her eldest grandson and I eloped.

She celebrated a birthday yesterday as my Dad did a few weeks ago. He wrote from overseas that “everybody needs a Nanny” and that I’m lucky to have one. That I am, every day. We tried to make a special experience for her last night at a concert and I hope it went OK. Neither she nor my father need physical gifts, an experience fits the bill. Unfortunately Dad just went to opening night and gala at the Bolshoi Ballet in Moscow so there’s not much for his eldest daughter to do in that arena.

My grandmothers both died before I was a year old. I’ve vague memories of “Bye Bye Blackbird” but that’s it, and I haven’t even tried to play it on my guitar. My Dad’s father died a few weeks before I was born but I knew Papa a bit until he died 30 years ago.

Grandparents are important. I believe they show a child stability, kindness, forgiveness and a sense of history. Dad wrote (email) this morning and told me that his grandmother was born in 1865 and his mother in 1898, Those were certainly different times.

What is interesting is that half of my husband’s family grew up less than 60 miles away from my maternal family in Switzerland, both German-speaking. Sprechen zie Deutsch? Danke. Let’s try English now as it is the language of computers and cell phones!

I know kids don’t read this blog, so involve them in your life and that of your parents. It will serve them well in the future. Even if they caution you to have your husband spent 40 years at a company and get a gold watch, I hedged there saying, Nanny, those kind of jobs do not exist anymore….. Dee

 

I Am OTIS

I always loved OTIS, the elevator man.

We grew up in a village of 400 and had no tall buildings. When we’d go upstate to a big four-story hotel my sister and I would negotiate who could push the outside button and who could do the inside one. It was a game.

Many years later I had to teach our pup, now nearly ten, how to use an elevator. Tell a dog that a room is going to change floors and she’ll end up elsewhere. Think Being There and the fantastic Peter Sellers. She did fine and now can even negotiate a revolving door.

Now I Am Otis. She has no hips and has to be lifted up on the bed. Those are OTIS moments. I hate when she jumps right down because she thinks I’m in the Magic Food Room, yes, the kitchen, because I have to lift her right up again.

When there’s not food in play, she loves to be up on the bed with the person who is sleeping there, usually not me but my husband. I made certain to take the blinds down so he could sleep in, though he’s planning a day trip for us all. Let’s see how it goes. Zoe is great in the car. It just has to be cool enough weather for her to be in the car for 1/2 hour or so with the windows open.

Of course I’ll have to OTIS her up to her 4″ orthopedic bed in the back of my SUV. Dee

ps Zoe’s not spoiled or anything like that. She just has caring parents! D

Care for a lift? Dee

Insurance Bites Back

Thanks, Koch brothers. You’ve let me know decades later what the insurance companies have been doing to customers for decades.

It’s not about insurance, it’s about investing, making money and denying claims. They have always been against being regulated by Congress (like the banks) and have spent billions going state by state so that you can stop a process that will actually insure Americans and make sure Americans pay them for it.

They’ve had to hire more lobbyists and deal with different state infrastructures (I worked for one state in insurance for the Speaker of the Assembly) so all so the Tea Partiers can go state by state and denigrate a law that was passed to help all Americans. Americans against affordable healthcare with no pre-existing conditions.

Conservative states are going to deny coverage. There goes the South and Rick Perry of Texas who wants to be president but this will topple the castle. The Supreme Court now voted that voter discrimination is OK there as well. Isn’t that a party in a teacup.

I don’t know who is on the Ted Cruz for Prez bandwagon but it’s not me. I think he’s the next Newt but that’s about it. He can end up at a college 25 years from now teaching his politics. I think he’s the debutante at the ball that shined for a moment until potential suitors decided he’s too brash and not too smart and is way too big for his britches. And he’s a freshman, for heaven’s sake! Lincoln could have done it. Cruz cannot.

To the insurance companies of the USA, stop this folly. Elderly and poor people in our country are going to get and pay for health insurance. That’s the way it’s going to be. Get used to it.

For the tea partiers, enjoy spending millions going state by state. Remember what I used to write in my insurance bill reports: Offer Well Babies insurance for a fee? Will Increase Premiums. That was the standard insurance company line.

That’s, sadly where we are today 30 years later. Affordable care. Give it a chance. Dee

Dee’s Non-Dairy Planet

For the past week I’ve had to be on antibiotics. They require two pills a day with food, breakfast and dinner, and that I not have dairy on either side for two hours.

Try to have breakfast without dairy. No butter, no cereal, no egg. And Friday night is homemade pizza night with really good mozzarella cheese from the Italian market down the street. Forget it. So lunch became my cheese fix.

The other day I popped in for lunch at one of our favorite restaurants and they laughed at me for needing a “cheese fix.”

I thought of going vegan and eliminating dairy for a couple of months, but have not because it’s too important to me and a source of Vitamin D and I don’t drink milk. My solution ended up being Pro Bar Meals (hear that, ladies?) both Superfruit Slam and one decadent chocolate. One must eat food with antibiotics and these are tasty and filling. The ladies to whom I refer were our neighbors in the Rockies and they marketed wonderful SmartWool socks and ProBars. I received them as gifts when I took their pup out for a walk. I miss those gals!

Antibiotics always messed up my system by eliminating all the good bacteria along with the bad, throwing the baby out with the bath water so to speak. Yogurt was out of the question so I asked the pharmacist what was the best probiotic (Doc’s orders) and yesterday my husband started taking it daily as well and has seen a difference in 12 hours. He’s concerned he’s “stealing” it from me. I said we can always get more just a few blocks away.

* * *

Things are going to change a bit around here. We’re starting with the bedroom and boxes and my husband just ordered a 40″ monitor/tv. We’ve got tons of space in our bedroom so I want to move his desks in there with monitor/tv and some of his favorite pictures so on the occasional day he works from home he has an en suite bath and can close the door to all the noise made by me and dog Zoe. He thinks I’m taking his office. I’m not. Most of the time he uses the computer lying on the bed so I’m doing him a favor.

Then I get rid of more boxes and move my desk from the living room to the guest room/office with all my pictures. I’m having three long photos of Greece: Korfu, Zakynthos and Lefkada framed to be picked up Monday. Plus I’ve tons of other stuff covered from dust with towels that we need to put up.

Jim gets the Brooklyn Bridge photo and my recently framed crayon drawing (age five) of the tin man, lion, scarecrow and me/Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Oddly with all the art and heritage quilts we have, this is his favorite.

I’ll probably end up with framed works up to the ceiling in “my” new office. I’ll be able to move the dining room where my desk is now and take advantage of our view. Also make room for a chair and floor lamp in our “open concept” space by the kitchen with a chair that fits the tall man for reading and conversation. I’m thinking a chair that turns into a recliner but doesn’t look like one. It’s not your grandfather’s Barcalounger but a proper chair.

Now I just have to empty/store boxes, shred old work papers, donate to St. Vincent de Paul. That’s where our working CRT tv will go, to a good home.

* * *

Jim’s (and for 11 years my) grandma, Nanny, had a birthday yesterday. Five years ago I brought in a western singer, the extraordinarily talented Ms. Juni Fisher to sing for her. She doesn’t need any physical gifts so was going to a concert last night. No word from our brother yet. Only strings, “Oh Brother Where Art Thou” music, and her great-grandkids were playing violin. We paid the utilities for the band so I hope they wished her a happy birthday!

I figured that in the 80-year range experiences are more important than calling the local florist so I thought outside the box and made it happen. We actually did send a physical component because when I called to say “Happy Birthday” she said she wanted something different for her Thanksgiving at which at least 60 people are served turkey and ham and brisket and so many wonderful desserts that’ll clog your heart just thinking of them.

I found a used set of Kubb (pronounced KOOB), an outdoor chess game invented by Swedish Vikings. I got it because my husband played it at a corporate function and liked the fact that it was for all ages and doesn’t require any specific athletic abilities. There are a LOT of kiddos at Thanksgiving. This wood looks older and has been treated to prevent it from weather damage. Apparently one stakes out a small area, sets up wooden blocks then uses pins to knock over those blocks then capture “The King.” We’ll see. Hope the kids and adults like it. It will certainly be different than riding four-wheelers and shooting skeet, or playing tennis or Risk.

Yes, we have really raucous thanksgivings with our iced tea et al. One year the grands (there are five plus me) laid down in a darkened living room and told stories. Do you know that the girls put my husband down a laundry chute? He’s now much taller and bigger and that will not happen again. My husband was having back trouble so was laying on the floor and the others joined us and it was a magical time. At one point one of their 15 kids ran through and said that an older, much bigger cousin had “disrespected him” in a football game. Their mothers just laughed and let them work it out.

Yes, I’m up at three but actually had a short nap yesterday afternoon. I do hope you are sound asleep (depending on whether you’re in Japan, Germany, the UK or US of A (yes I read my stats) and enjoying your weekend. Cook something! Dee

Butternut Squash “Mashed Potatoes?”

Yes, I took a butternut squash and roasted it cut side down, seeds removed, with a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper for about 45 minutes in a 375 degree oven.

I let it cool and pulled the flesh from the skin. Later, I put the pieces on the stove and mashed them and added some toasted curry powder and cream and let it all reduce.

We’ll have it tomorrow night. It tastes good and will only get better with a night sleeping in the frig.

Here’s what happens when you make fifteen pizza toppings. Some aren’t used at all. Some are used for (cover your eyes, husband) leftovers. This mash is worthy of a Thanksgiving table, but I’m already bringing six dishes across the country. People who fly in aren’t supposed to bring anything but if they don’t have my spicy almonds and cashews I’d be drummed out of the Family. Like putting beans in Texas chili.

I would like to dedicate this post to Lady Bird Johnson for making our world a better place and not just by her Pedernales Chili recipe but for Lady Bird Lake, and the wildlife center near Austin in her name. She made a great difference in our nation. Dee

Teaching

I have been blessed with some wonderful teachers in my life, from family (parents, aunts, friends) to music teachers of violin and piano and guitar.

Also history of NY State, world art history professor who also taught Renaissance and Reformation, my dear Fr. Cap with Sociology and his infamous Barbie lecture. That alone was worth the price of college.

My aunts are retired English teachers but we moved away before I got to learn from them in high school. It’s OK, I’ve learned from them my entire life and I’m not afraid of them as their students were!

Steven G and I both had parents that taught us how to read early. The school wanted to throw away the old curriculum and teach phonics instead. Both our parents rebelled so we were reading at the 4th and 5th and above grade level at age six and were sent to read by ourselves at the back of the room while ITA was taught to the others.

It was cool for a girl to be smart back then, before puberty. I always wonder what happened to Steven G as I was growing up in another state I was repeatedly asked to dumb it down, let guys win at ping pong, don’t ever be smarter than your date.

I’m not smarter than my permanent date for 12 years, simply because he is a mathematical genius. But he is someone I can talk with at the breakfast and dinner table and have a real conversation. Imagine that.

On another matter, lessons learned. This weekend is the 10th anniversary of Queer Eye, which I loved. Here’s what I tried to post on Slate’s new site:

I loved that show! I’m a straight woman with many gay friends and it made it OK. My husband lived in a man cave when we met. Now we have furniture (thanks, Thom) and there are no individual string cheese wrappers on the floor. Instead he opines on whether he prefers the four-year or five-year cheddar! And I was his intervention, not QE. Thanks anyway, Ted. We’re getting him fitted for some bespoke shirts this weekend, Carson. No suits or ties, so the shirt must make a statement.

Yes, those are teachers as well. Thanks Fab Five! In the interest of education, at Whole Foods yesterday I picked out the strangest veg I’ve ever seen, a black radish. He loves pummelos and star fruit and loves something new so we’re always being edjumicated. Ha! Thought you’d like that one.

We continue on a path of literature, writing, cooking, engineering and trying to learn something new every day. Thanks to my lifelong teachers for making me want to learn through mid-life and senior years. Cheers and have a great day, Dee