Sleep

My husband can be asleep within a minute or two of lying down. He snores all night. The dog sleeps instantly as well.

Why am I awake? Ok, I worry, about anything and everything. It’s late morning and the dog has been out and fed, Zoe. I need to mention her name. She is our only “kid.”

My cat Nathan, who was named for Kevin Kline’s character in Sophie’s Choice and yes, I was visiting a legislator on Coney Island and believe I saw the original Nathan’s hot dog place. Before I named this five week-old kitten I had to look up the name. Apparently Nathan is “gift” and Nathaniel is “gift from God.”

He was a gift, “surprise” from my sister at five weeks of age. My brother bought a crate at the airport and took him under the seat for 3,000 miles. I didn’t know anything about his presence or about cats.  Switch to 13 years later, of him always getting the last word.

When I went to see Nathan at the hospital I knew he was asking to go. The folks there always said “Nathan’s Mom is here to see him.” When I gave them the OK I drove there and they said “Ms. H is here.” I am no longer considered a part of his life. Heart problems and pneumonia. The vet brought me outside for specifics and I held him through the procedure and afterward.

I know that my dog will have a peaceful passing, hopefully in my arms and with a straight shot, not a catheter. If my husband can make it home, he promised to do so when we adopted this dear mutt 14 years ago. Our vet will not acknowledge requests for euthanasia procedures, well she has been off on maternity leave. Do you see why I’m up at night? I worry about my family. That is my job to assure that they are happy and healthy. Dee