The Art of Deflection

I told a story this morning. It was before any sexual harassment laws were discussed, passed or signed into law. I knew that any elected official would get off scot-free and that I would be fired if I brought a complaint.

Once a particularly nasty married elected official said he wished I’d worn knee socks under my classy Scottish kilt instead of opaque stockings, for obvious reasons.

I replied “How’s Anne? I hear she’s been elected head of the Bird, Tree and Garden Club. Congratulations! You must be so proud. And Betsy, how is art school? When we last met she wondered about her decision. I thought of her over the weekend at the Kandinsky exhibit.”

All of a sudden he feels like a fool but I let him keep his dignity by keeping mine intact. That is deflection, not lying. I met his family.

A white lie is permitted, heaven forbid, when a wife asks her husband “do I look fat in this?” “No, honey, you’re beautiful.” She looks fat because she’s gained 15 lbs. after your kid was born a month ago. Give her a break. You don’t want her to stop breast-feeding your namesake as then both of them, then you, will suffer.

There are egregious mistakes and little teeny atta girls we need. Like wearing Crocs is OK, you don’t need stilettos. It is a ship, after all and you need rubber soles. Just go get a couple of nice suits. Here’s to men who really fall in love and stay with their wives, like mine. Dee


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