A couple of months ago I went back on social media (highly reluctantly because I hate it especially because it doesn’t respect privacy and I’ve spent part of my life protecting that for all). I ran into a number of gals from college and we got in touch. Some were friends with others and I asked my old roommate to join in. Now she writes saying that I’m “mad at her” after three decades. No time for drama here but she did make me a bridesmaid, have me buy a bubblegum pink gown with scarce dollars, knowing I’d have to get myself to the wedding, probably 14 hours on trains and subways, taxies and buses. A week before the wedding her maid of honor, another roommate, called me to say that not only was I not a bridesmaid, I was not invited to the wedding and could “crash” it if I wanted. That was the end of our communications until now.
I wanted to tell her I’m glad she and her college boyfriend who were so in love when we shared a cell on our wing, are still together, and I’ve also seen wonderful things about their daughter, who is at an Ivy League school and playing sports.
It’s wonderful that we all leave school and get on with our lives. A dear friend found me from college about ten years ago. The College then found me and I ended up being a mentor (that means taking a student out for a few free meals and chatting) for a student overseas while we lived there, getting in touch with my favorite professor and catching up with a few fellow grads online.
No-one likes to be made a fool of. When a wrong is done, it should be atoned for. I have nothing to atone for, and thought 30 years would be enough water under the bridge for anyone, but it clearly is not for the one who allowed this to happen. I moved on right away and never think of it, except when someone puts in in my face as they’re doing now.
Please know that when you allow yourself to be known on social media there are your friends, then their friends, then friends of friends and any one of them can come back with a vengeance, even after decades. I get friend requests from so many people I’ve never heard of and never met that I’d rather stick to email, phone calls and the old-fashioned letter once in a while. I just bought a few hand-made note cards from a local artist and will put them in the mail with a real stamp.
Know that I’ve tried to lead a good life and there are few people out there with a hatchet looking for me, mostly those when I went for a cause dear to my heart they opposed it and me and made my life miserable in the meantime. No regrets. And apologies to any I’ve ever offended. Cheers, Dee
Cooking with Dee 
That’s why FB for me is all light-hearted banter about the critters, w/a few brags here & there about the son!
I find myself shaking my head in amazement when people allow themselves to get swept up into flamewars, dragged down into dirty gritty politics or religious arguments… “Can’t we all just get along??”