On this morning’s “news” show I watch to find out if Jim needs a coat or umbrella, Today showcased a new book entitled “How to Shop for a Husband…” I checked out the name on Amazon. No, they don’t have the genuine article, a husband by mail, but do sell the book at a discount.
I haven’t read it, nor do I intend to. I met my husband nearly eight years ago. I was 42. We met by chance two weeks after 9/11 at TGI Fridays during lunch. We talked for over three hours and shook hands in the parking lot after swapping phone numbers. My heart didn’t go pitter pat until the next night when he called me for dinner and a movie and took my hand after opening my car door. We’ve been together ever since.
When it comes to same:same or same:opposite, we’re both. He’s physics and math; I’m behavioral sciences and arts. Each of our bookshelves are technical in nature but his involve numerical recipes and all kinds of software and mine include the recipes I know from cookbooks I’ve acquired over the years. He’s a little bit country, I’m a little bit rock and roll. Oops, I’m actually more folk-rock and classical, including opera.
Lifelong feminist that I am, he is the breadwinner and I’m the helpmate. But we’re partners in a joint endeavor. We enjoy spending time together, with friends and family, travel and the latest movie. But we also have very different passions that make life interesting. He will glom onto something and learn all about it, like finding the best large monitor at the best price or giving me this blog to maintain. I cook and have just taken up the guitar and birdwatching.
Ladies, if you’re a warm and caring person, consider a “geek.” I did and met my soul mate. Is he enervating some of the time? You bet. Am I? Yep. I’m pretty smart (not in math) and for a long time went out with guys dumber than me. Even in college. Then I met people who could converse about politics and history and current events.
Remember the really nice guy you were friends with in high school, president of the chess club and math team? You should have gone out with him, rather than the quarterback. Shallow people don’t make good spouses. Maybe together they do, but the rate of divorces in Hollywood is astronomic!
The romance will change over time and it takes a married person to say that. I always looked at those photos of the engaged couple on the sofa together reading the paper and drinking coffee. Ain’t gonna happen. My husband is over six feet tall and he alone can’t fit his height on a regular sofa! Who you’ll be looking at is your life partner, someone to laugh and cry with, vent at and be vented at, raise children and deal with in-laws, work issues, home issues and money issues.
Perhaps the shopping angle isn’t such a bad thing after all. I’d stopped looking for someone to share my life with and at a time I least expected, met my best friend and the love of my life.
Good luck, ladies and gents. Dee
Cooking with Dee 
I found my geek, too. We’ve been married 26 years! He still makes me laugh, every day.
The proof is in the pudding, dear friends! Dee
Great post, Dee. While my hubs can’t truly be classified as a geek, he shares some of those characteristics you mention (glomming onto something, for one). We do manage to share the sofa (and foot rubs) every night. In shopping terms, I found the deal of a lifetime!
If you could have heard his mother, my husband was on the “Clearance” rack…. Two months before we eloped, when I was brought home to meet the folks, she spent three days telling me how methodical and difficult to live was her son. All I could say to each road block she threw up was “I know.” “His brother used to turn off the water because he took such long showers!” I know. Now it’s the other way around. I tell her that he’s been working on this extracurricular project for several months and it’s all he talks about and it’s driving me nuts, and my wonderful m-i-l says “I warned you.” Cheers, Margie, even though he came “as is” we’re perfect together.
Yeah!!!!!