Tag Archives: wedding

Weddings

Fourteen years ago my now husband threw me into his family’s Thanksgiving pool for 12 hours and didn’t come and see me once. There were sixty people and I was bait.

Two ladies came up to me, M and S, and asked if I would go with my boyfriend (fiance but no-one knew because we had to meet all the parents) to a new city. I was wise enough to say, “that depends upon my last name.” I tried to keep my last name but gave in.

M’s eldest daughter is getting married. I remember teaching her and her cousin cooking classes when they were kids. First time we met, her cousin looked at my shoes and said “Nanny has shoes like that.” Sassy. K was shy and kind. I always thought she had big thoughts she didn’t share.

I’ve a beef with the future husband. Two, actually. There will still be 50-60 at Thanksgiving but he hasn’t run the gauntlet I did. Interviews with Nanny and my husband’s parents. And as a guy he’ll never have to make a pie or wash dishes. He’s immune because he’s a guy, so he gets to watch the Game. The Game, Aggies. Well, there’s a third. My husband’s cousins M and S put him down their laundry chute once. I think we have to rent out their old house for an hour and place the new husband down the chute. Come on, the gals who bake, cook, make 100 dishes for Thanksgiving then clear plates and do all the dishes then make you leftovers six hours later and do those dishes deserve something!

Sorry my little M. Bride to be, very soon. I wish you and your husband everything for a wonderful life. And we’ll try to be kind on Thanksgiving. In praise of marrige, its freedoms and restraints. Dee

How Do You Know?

I see Amy Adams singing and dancing through Central Park asking that question. For real people, it doesn’t come that easily.

In a serious relationship, I was supposed to marry two weeks after college graduation. I called it off because I needed to know myself and be able to fend for myself before I could attach myself permanently to someone else.

Bridal magazines show couples snuggling on a sofa reading the newspaper or doing a crossword puzzle together. That’s not how it works. It looks pretty in photos but that is not life.

Life is having the occasional disagreement, surprising one another every once in a while (we don’t do birthdays or holidays, especially the Hallmark Valentines Day).

Life is walking the dog. Walking on ice and holding his arm. In the summer just knowing when to hold hands without even looking at each other.

In our first week of dating my husband challenged me in terms of what I wanted in a relationship. I said I never wanted an engagement ring because that’s not fair. Also that a relationship is about a marriage, not a wedding.

We eloped a year later. I planned it in five days and we found a secret, illegal venue 24 hours before the event. I got two 18K gold rings on the internet and rented a dress and tiara.

It’s more than watching Star Wars IV on tv, when we walk we both know when I need to take his arm or hold his hand and it comes instinctively. We don’t look, or ask, we just know. Let’s hope other brides and grooms aspire to this level of closeness. Cheers and happy couples all! Dee

ps Dee, should I (put on the humidifier, walk the dog, turn over the steaks), yes, dear, without even knowing the substance of the sentence verbally I know it.

Happy Anniversary, Honey!

Yes, it’s ten years today so hubby arranged for an after work phone conference on a Friday night.

I got him/us two presents. The first was finding and framing the personalized luncheon menu from our wedding. That is beautifully done and has already been presented.

The second was going through storage just now and bringing him our humidifier because it is so dry here he’s awakened to nose bleeds the past two nights. Think of it this way, it’ll save me from washing the sheets and pillowcases every day! Some kind of expensive gift, it only cost me next month’s storage fee so I got to check that off my list as well.

What is planned? Absolutely nothing. We thought of putting it off so I could actually have my first date for Valentines, our own Hallmark moment. Romantics, aren’t we. What is the tenth anniversary gift? I’ll have to look it up.

Perhaps we can renew our vows at our 25th so no-one can disapprove of us eloping in the first place. Maybe cowgirl boots will be designed to fit me by then. There’s no way I’m going to slice off my little toes to fit into Jimmy Choo’s or the cowboy boots they’d have to make for me today.

Thanks for reading, and love to my dear husband who has to put up with me and the dog every day! Best wishes to all family and friends. Raise a glass! Dee