Tag Archives: Mom

Nanny’s

Our family Thanksgiving was immediate family. When I met the man who was to become my husband, I girded myself for a long weekend with his parents, and Thanksgiving with fifty of his relatives. It was a life-changing weekend and we eloped two months later.

Now, Jim’s job prevents him from taking even one day off during November/December and he’ll miss his annual joyous union with his parents, brother, grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins. I should have titled this “Over The River, and Through the Woods…” but this would be my eighth year there. We’ll miss all the folks who get together only once a year. It’s some consolation that Jim’s mother has a new computer with video capabilities so we can have a video conference after dinner.

There may be near sixty this year. More babies were born. A dear one was lost. This is the closest to a grandmother I’ve ever had. You should see the spread. Of course there are turkey and ham but the sides are very southern and that tends to sweet, not what this Yankee initially expected. I never tried to bring a dessert because all the other ladies do so and dessert is a sumptuous feat in and of itself! As my husband is not very adept at culinary traditions (forget female hierarchy) he always told me to bring nothing.

Now I’m known for teaching teenagers how to cook, the day after Thanksgiving, and also for my spinach balls, spiced almonds and cashews, and boursin. I’ve already given spinach balls to my newest married cousin Brenda. We’ll really miss that big hug from Nanny when we walk in the door, plus conversations with family we haven’t seen in a year: Zoe’s hip surgeon Val the Vet; brother John and Patti and their children; Sharon and Mary and their kids; Scott and Jen and two babies, one we’ve never met; and on and on. And Gina’s going to be there this year. We’ve both been rooting for Gina for years, and she’s successful and living on the West Coast.

Someday I’ll tell you the story of the first Thanksgiving with Jim’s family. Not now. Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving, Dee

Farewell, Gourmet

As a “Gourmet Tastemaker” for the past few years I was shocked to see an email message stating that the magazine was kaput as of that moment. I had to check the news to make sure that Conde Nast had axed this historic (since 1941) magazine to cut costs.

One of my earliest cooking stories (surely on this blog) talks about my mother’s cooking going from Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup to souffles a la Gourmet, a lovely cheese souffle she served with a salad in the early 1970’s and my father said it was great, then asked where was dinner!

A dear family friend kept my mother in Gourmet subscriptions for years, and as we grew up we all cooked from them. My favorite cooking school teacher from 20 years ago, who worked closely with Simone “Simca” Beck of “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” worked there, at least until today.

Ruth Reichl, you will be missed and will land on your feet somewhere and so will your talented staff. You might tell them not to knock on the doors of Wall Street quite yet, even if they do have a Series 7 license (stockbroker).

This is a shock to all foodies and I wish you well. To better days ahead, Dee

Bully Pulpit

If I have one, I’ll use it. Ted Kennedy died of a brain tumor, a glioblastoma which carries a literal death sentence. My mother died ten months ago from complications of colon cancer. For the people who think “ObamaCare” involves “death panels” I’ll tell you something. My mother had several surgeries, one which caused irreparable damage because of a surgeon’s mistake. When the cancer recurred my sisters took her against her will in an ambulance, as she had not been able to eat or drink. and she went through a battery of tests.

In the end they said they could do more surgery and perhaps another colostomy and my mother said, in perfect lucidity, NO. No more tests, no more surgeries. The next day she was transferred across the street to a hospice that her pain doctor leads. For two weeks they took stellar care of her, encouraged us to be around and kept her comfortable. What was comfortable for her (talking or not talking) was not comfortable for us but this was about her. In the end my siblings agreed that against their wishes, if she wanted a chaplain to get a priest for last rites, it was up to her and I would organize it. She did and it was a moving moment for us all as we told her of our love for her.

When a terminally ill patient goes into palliative care that is hopefully the patient’s wish or that of his/her family or person designated in a living will. Our mother decided it was the end, that her body had its fill of disease and heartbreak. I would encourage people, especially those who have little family or who aren’t married, to have paperwork in order as soon as possible. I’m working on ours, even though we’ve been married forever, sorry nearly 7 years. We will both do our own papers and sign DNR’s because we don’t trust each other to let the other go. I know that in my heart.

We’ve had our own death panel and know that whatever healthcare system we’re a part of will not disregard our wishes. When Mom died the lead doctor said he never thought she would last two days, much less two weeks. And added that she was a tough lady and he wished he’d had the benefit of knowing her better. Sorry for the sadness, the one-year anniversary is coming up and I’m thinking of Mom a lot. In memoriam, Dee

Old Year, New Year

This month Jim and I will celebrate our sixth year of marriage. One could say that 9/11 brought us together because we had a chance meeting a few weeks after I was “trapped’ in Europe during the attack and could not get a flight home. We look forward to many more years together.

We lost a few celebrities this year, most recently Eartha Kitt, who was a terrific singer, actress and dancer. We also lost my mother three months ago, whose beauty rivaled Jacqueline Kennedy’s but was not born with the pedigree. Her brain is something I’d have liked to inherit. I got the literature but not the math. Our father strives to keep our family together and the first experiment will take place shortly as they’ve been apart over fifteen years.

This evening I watched President-Elect Obama alight from a government jet to transition to his new home in Washington. It was a poignant moment for an incoming President who has a lot on his plate. Four or eight years from now, his hair will undoubtably sport gray, as does mine. I hope as a voter and citizen that his security will be tight to protect him from any harm. The war, economic crisis and condition of many Americans demands action. Let’s hope our elected officials make the right decisions. I know this is a cooking blog, but I am a voter and stakeholder in the future of this nation. Dee

Reading

is essential.  I read my news online, changing sources to find different angles on stories and hopefully find a shred of truth.  In the old days we had our local paper and if we were lucky, Walter Cronkite at six.

When one writes more than one knows from reading or other inspiration, that spells trouble.  When one writes stories without inspiration, that does not make a story.

When it comes to food, tasting is everything.  One “chef-testant” on Top Chef recently said that she didn’t need to drive to nearby NYC to taste real ethnic food, she could read her books.  Wrong.

Town library, every Saturday.  Books, knowledge, plays, all dusty and unused.  No Shakespeare there, just dusty books donors gave many years ago.  We made the best of it.  I knew at age eight that library was useless except for reference books and one cook book.

It’s a pity to know that a college town’s only public library is toast at the tender age of eight.  So my life took a different direction….

Now that’s the beginning of a story of which the author knows not the ending but at least the beginning and the material it may contain.

Scrabble was a hit, especially with the newly six year-old, who chose his own letters to spell the initials of his school.  Wow.  What a Thanksgiving!

ps Thanksgiving was always my mother’s holiday.  It was never mine.  I thought of her a lot this weekend and told funny stories about our childhood as they pertained to whatever conversation was at hand.  Scrabble was her game.  Proper names and acronyms were not allowed. To see nephew Joseph play was a tribute to my mother.  If she was alive ten years from now he may have won.

A Woman of Valor

I just received a package from my Aunt with notes and names of all the people who contacted her about the passing of her sister, my mother, Barbara.

As we pack up and head off to grandmother’s house (Jim’s grandmother, who kindly agreed seven years ago to be mine as well) there is much to be thankful for.

From my piano teacher, school music teacher to the farm stand to the neighbors who had the first color TV and invited my sister and I over to see The Wizard of Oz, everyone wrote a note or sent a contribution to their favorite local cancer center.

It was written that the highest form of praise for a Judaic woman is to be called a woman of valor, and one writer told us that our mother was one.  Thank you all.

What a Thanksgiving this will be.  Dee

Birthday Dinner

Jim brought a lovely bouquet of flowers home this evening, with sunflowers, roses and others that is spectacular.

In response, for my birthday I made him a filet mignon, loaded baked potato and sauteed cherry tomatoes.

Hopefully we’ll have more good news for you over the weekend.  Hey, I’m fifty so don’t look for any baby news!  We have a dog.  That’s it right now, ’til we move to the country and every feral and stray cat is at my door.  As long as they’re not inside, Jim should be OK with it.

Dad called tonight after dinner at a premier steakhouse.  I think my steakhouse did well tonight, for probably 1/10 the price.  But then my present will come along this weekend….

It hit me that I’d never get another birthday card or call from my mother.  I might have even rated a Viennese Torte for the big 5-0.  She is missed every day.  Dee

Cheers, Tim Russert!

We miss you, no day more than today, election day.  I hope you are looking down upon the ridiculous CNN and it’s click ‘n play graphics that they’re so awed with, they stand in front of the map preventing viewers from even seeing it.

You always made it real.  Nothing was on NBC when I first checked results so I was stuck with CNN for a bit, but it was amateur hour.  Your friends at NBC were scheduled to toast you and your white boards after the election was called.

Hopefully you were sitting with my Mom over a beer (she’s recently joined your community) and perhaps discussing the Blizzard of ’77.  She never made Buffalo Wings but was a great cook.

Here’s to a new America.  I know you would have wanted to be here to see this.  People came out to vote in droves, democracy in action, instead of inaction.  Thank you, Tim.

Government Housing

It took me four hours to find my polling place.  A couple online checking my registration status and checking mapquest, google and yahoo.  A couple more driving around a neighborhood I do not know, looking for a nondescript building with no signage and no address.

So, a neighbor drove me over there this morning and he voted (cancelled me out, I’m certain).  It took me another hour in line because my name was A-L with a line out the door and his was M-Z, two people.

This was in the middle of Section 8 housing, or what we would call “the projects.”  I was gratified and surprised to see the number of local residents on line.  There were three other white people there, one an energy engineer that was my “line buddy,” and two neighbors.  Most people voted early.

I walked home, no problems.  Now this evening it appears that President-elect Obama and VP-elect Biden will be gaining their own public housing as of January 20, 2009.  A different class of housing but public nonetheless.

There will be much Monday morning quarterbacking on this election.  One might say right now that Bush’s extreme unpopularity as a result of the economy’s taking a dive and the war in Iraq turned the tables.

As someone who ran phone banks and lit drops for a month or so every couple of years, plus GOTV (get out the vote) efforts on election day, I believe that it was a good day for the USA.  Inspiring citizens to vote is a plus for our country, no matter whom they choose to elect.

It certainly was an historic day.  Earlier today I sent a note to the Obama campaign expressing sadness at his grandmother’s death yesterday.  I assured him that having just lost my mother, I’m sure she and many others held out their hands to welcome her to a good and safe place, and that there’s no doubt she is proud of him and his efforts.

It is my hope that peace and prosperity are the cornerstones of this new administration, and that Americans can move forward to make this a reality.  Respectfully, Dee

Cooking Equipment

I’ve been looking for over 20 years for the perfect potato masher. I have one small snaky one from Jim’s grandmother, a large new snaky one, but what I’ve been looking for all these years is the old Revere Ware one with square holes.

Now that Mom is gone, it looks as if that particular piece of culinary folklore is coming my way. Do know I wouldn’t have gone to these lengths to get one! I have those two now, and finally succumbed to a ricer that provides excellent mashed potatoes as long as it’s only potatoes and they’re skinless.

Other Revere items have come into my possession over the years from Margie, husband Jim’s mother. Metal spatula with wooden handle: priceless. I use it often and never put it in the dishwasher. And the stainless gravy boat sits in our server, ready to be used. Mom has one also and I hope one of my siblings takes it on as it is stalwart in the kitchen and on the table.

I am so glad that my brother is taking the Revere Ware kitchen pots and pans. I would not recommend that anyone buy them new these days, but in the 1950’s they were made much better with heavier construction.

Given the choice, I’d much rather have my mother than her potato masher. But since I didn’t have that choice I know that every time I look at it or use it will remind me of her and all the wonderful meals that she made.