Tag Archives: mistakes

Epic Culinary Failures

Oh, where do I start? I started cooking at age seven. I learned to peel carrots and place them in ice water in the frig to curl. My grandfather called them “suicide carrots.” Everything I made was prefaced by that word, but people liked my cooking.

I had an episode recently. For years we’ve had Friday Pizza night. I now use only Italian OO flour for my dough, seldom use tomato sauce and for a regular night it’s just sauteed mushrooms and perhaps bell pepper and lots of quality fresh Italian mozzarella with a sprinkling of pepper and Parmigiano Reggiano at the end. If we have a cooking class or kids the right age to dress their own pizzas I prep at least 17 toppings. Yes, including anchovies.

Cutting the recipe in half to make one pizza was easy. It’s 1.5 cups flour. I always need to add more water wherever I live to make the food processor dough come together. This time It was so wet I was adding flour like crazy. It came together, rose twice and rolled out wet but was a nice tender dough.

What was my mistake? I reached for the dry measuring cups and got 1/3 cup instead of 1/2 cup so the flour/water ratio was messed up. Human error, not the right eyeglasses to see the tiny measurement on the handle!

My husband’s family drove five hours to see us for Christmas one year. I made a lovely pork loin roast with roasted, cornbread-stuffed apples and hard cider gravy. I wanted something that didn’t have pork or apples in it so decided on a root vegetable puree with potatoes and rutabaga. Last night I saw the first episode of America’s Test Kitchen with Julia Child’s classic recipe of Beef with Burgundy sauce. Andy did a test of ricers. Mine wasn’t even tested.

I’m sure you know what a ricer is. Hand-held device, put cooked potatoes in it, place the plunger down and voila! It’s like a huge garlic press, and yields the fluffiest mashed potatoes you’ve ever eaten, with seasoning, milk and butter.

Rutabagas were another story. Finally my mother-in-law took over. I could not get them through the ricer as they were so fibrous. I’ve never done carrots through a ricer but I think I probably could do that. I haven’t used it since and my husband bought me an old-fashioned food mill with three blades from a hardware store.

I think Nanny heard of my rutabaga disaster (the meal went well) and got me an old-fashioned sqare pounding potato masher similar to the one from Revere Ware my mother had for decades. It’s fine for the two of us, but if I’m cooking for a crowd either the ricer or the food mill are summoned to duty.

Dee’s chicken chili was a disaster of epic proportions. First off, I found this great recipe but didn’t really know anything about chiles. This is after cooking school, hey, they taught French back then and not Spanish or Mexican or Thai. I was at the farmer’s market and bought a plant, Thai bird chile. It was pretty. I decided to use 1/3 the amount of chili in the recipe and it was so hot it was inedible. The next day I threw in corn and everything but the kitchen sink. No way.

Now I look forward to Hatch chili season and use different peppers, blister them on the stove, steam then peel and seed. I make a great Texas Chili with beef (thank you, Lady Bird Johnson for your 1962 recipe).

Let’s just say this. Old dogs can learn new tricks. Always keep learning. A word, a skill, a tip, fashion, a new dog bowl, whatever. Keep learning. This post is dedicated to Iris Apfel. Sorry to make it one of my culinary disasters! Dee

ps I saw “Iris” at a film festival recently. If you like fashion and big personalities that is Iris. Last night I saw that the film has come out on Netflix. Next week we’ll have a girls’ night in, with food and beverages, and watch it at home. d

Crazy Shopping/Epic Culinary Errors

This morning I drove down a one-way street to a particular grocery store, parked in an alleyway behind it (not much is free parking-wise here) and the alley was blocked by two trucks, each way.

Thank goodness, because the produce section was bursting with freshness and deals. I’ve just rinsed a pint of strawberries that I’m planning to take downstairs to share with the staff who keep me alive every day. Once they dry I plan to add a bit of Meyer lemon zest, juice, and a sprinkling of raw organic sugar. From Dee.

I was supposed to get berries and cereal for my husband, who returns tomorrow from a business trip, two weeks. I got the berries, two pints for $3 so am keeping one. No cereal. I found Lyle’s Golden Syrup, nobody carries that these days. It was my mother’s favorite, on toast. I use it in marinades and will do so today, chicken wings.

Then I found mincemeat. No, it’s not meat, it used to have suet in it. Mom made mincemeat tarts every year for Christmas. I now make them and they are a staple on Nanny’s 50-dessert table every Thanksgiving. Actually my mother-in-law makes the pastry and I fill the tarts and cut out little Texas stars and hearts for the tops. I have “hot hands” that are good for unmolding cold things, but if I even look at chocolate or butter, it melts. Don’t even talk to me about copiers.

So I started grabbing a few things not on my list. Check out mincemeat on the blog. My brother, in NYC, went everywhere to try to get mincemeat, and was even told to get a taxi to New Jersey! He looked it up online and what was the first thing that popped up? Cooking With Dee. He never knew I had a blog or wrote about mincemeat. I called Amazon and got two jars sent directly to Dad so my brother wouldn’t have to carry them on the plane.

As I could not leave because the alleyway was still blocked, I dropped off groceries in the car and headed across the street looking for two bottles of brown ale. I did find them, called Old Brown Dog from New Hampshire and showed the proprietor my card that sports a photo of my old brown dog! What a morning.

* * *

As to the ale, I’m making Beef Carbonnade for my husband’s return. Usually Friday night is Pizza Night but that’s too much last-minute work and he’s only home for the weekend. Beef in the style of the charcoal maker: beef; onions; bacon; and beer. I brown everything starting with bacon, onions, then beef, all separate (beef is tossed in seasoned flour beforehand). Then add the beer and simmer on the stove or in the oven for about three hours, stirring every once in a while. I serve it over pappardelle noodles that just need a few moments to cook. It’s one of his favorite dishes and the weather is feeling like fall.

I think I’ll write epic failures on another post. You must be snoring away already! Dee

Mistakes

First of all, never try a new dish for a dinner party. I haven’t made that mistake for a very long time. My rule was always to try a recipe first (unless I make one up, and I try it first as well) as written.

Now I had this surprise dish that turned out to be OK, not great, for my Texan husband. The butchers had to talk to each other to figure out the best cut of meat for the Chicken Fried Steak. I ended up with top round (on sale) and hit it with the heavy flat pounder before messing it up with the Medieval cruncher.

My mistakes were: substituting rice flour for regular, but the seasonings of garlic powder, ancho chili powder, salt & lots of pepper were spot on; substituting buttermilk for milk; and not using eggs. The batter just didn’t adhere as it should.

Sometimes I think cooking allows one to make mistakes. I know that whatever I make will taste good, it just may not look perfect. Neither do I, so for 13 years I’ve had a “guinea pig” husband to try things out. Yes, he’s gone from man caves with one frozen dinner (from his mother) and a 72 oz. Dr. Pepper and individually wrapped string cheese with wrappers going from the frig to his computer, which he made from scratch of course. The computer, not the cheese.

Now he critiques everything I do in the kitchen and even helps out sometimes. Don’t worry, I always set him up with everything on the other side of the island. That’s why we always have to have an island, and comfy stools to sit on. But as a string cheese maven, he now opines on 4-5 year cheddars and says I made him a food snob.

The good things about the night’s dinner were my first milk gravy, which is really just a bechamel sauce with lots of freshly ground pepper. My mashed potatoes were terrific. And I decided to saute the baby arugula in olive oil with chopped garlic. I loved it. He called it a bit “stout” in flavor. At least we had some green on the plate and I tried the steak but the potatoes and veg and sauce were my game.

Thank you Ree and Trisha, for giving me Southern inspiration for my Texas guy. Tomorrow I’ll turn Trisha’s biscuits that I messed up a bit into gold. I’ll halve and toast them, cook up some sausages, make eggs and I made a whole extra cup of gravy that awaits re-heating.

What cowboy doesn’t like biscuits and gravy? Dee