Tag Archives: manners

Gentlemen

I don’t know many. Over the years they’ve been rare. I am lucky to say that my husband is one and so is his father. Yes, so is my father, of course. My brother, yes, he’s treated me well over decades even though I was his babysitter and that bodes ill in my book because we used to play hide and seek and I wouldn’t look for him for 20 minutes. My husband’s brother could have his photo next to the word “Gentleman” in the dictionary.

As I look over my life the friends I’ve kept in touch with since grade school who happen to be male are gentlemen and very intelligent as well. My Uncle and cousins fit the bill as well.

On our first date my husband went around the car, opened the door for me and took my hand and never let go. It’s been nearly 14 years, married 12. No-one else in the world was my soul mate, spouse and best friend.

Young gents. Learn to say please and thank you and ask to be excused from the dinner table. Say guests’ names or Ma’am and Sir. Write a note for your birthday gift. Dear Uncle Z, I really like the iPad you gave me. That’s why I didn’t send a paper note because I want you to know I’m really using it! Thanks so much! Pete

Make it personal. Always think of the other person first and what their interests are in a conversation. You meet a girl, college. Hi, I’m Jeff. Don’t you look gorgeous tonight! The blue goes with your eyes. Would you like to dance?

In the end, care. If you don’t you’ll be poor or rich, but poorer for not having met the right gal, and in rehab or a nice home with a family that loves you.

I grew up in a very strict household, Catholic French-Canadian and German. Today I find that some children don’t have any rules, only rewards. If you get a C average I’ll buy you a car. What? I had to garden, lay bricks and stones to keep water out and be the concrete chef (mixing Portland cement and sand with water in a wheelbarrow) for the front stoop that will be there until something freezes over. That’s an old story you’ll have to look up on site.

Perhaps that was my first moment as a chef as before, I only opened those tins with cinnamon rolls by rapping them on the counter! Revise story, Dee. I did start organizing parties and making birthday cakes at age eight.

Hope you had a good weekend and know that your husband and sons are gents. And gents, you already know that.  Cheers! Dee

 

I Know

when looking at a restaurant menu, what my husband will order. I’ve known all my life what my brother will order, and he’s difficult because if anyone orders the same thing he’ll choose something else on the menu.

I look for my favorite thing, then my second, and I let them have the first choice. With my brother it’s usually lamb, husband, beef. Yes, I’ve graduated college and culinary school but most of my social life is intuition and reading people. I can’t tell you how I do it but aside from learning which fork to use and walking with a dictionary on my head I don’t know, except the fancy manners stuff all came from my mother.

My husband is a physicist, now a software consultant. He wrote software for stock and oil/gas trading systems so comes from a technical bent. I am soc/psych. He knows things I’ll never comprehend and just know enough acronyms to read/revise his resume. He’ll never know what I know because I don’t know how I know it. It’s ingrained.

Between us it makes quite a pair. Husband and wife, brother and sister. We each operate from different sides of the brain and it makes us stronger when we work together. Right now I took on a CEO and won. My brother will be doing so as well, not to compete with me but to make a point, as I did.

Is it difficult to give up my lamb or beef dish at a restaurant to keep my husband or brother happy? No. There’s always fish, which I love. Cheers! Dee

Signs

Sign, Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign

That was from 1971, Five Man Electrical Band. They’re worse now, but not about long hair.

The rules for our condo/apartment comprise a lengthy lease with rules about dog poop, combined with a printed brochure that encompasses more rules.

We went to a mall restaurant (not food court) for lunch yesterday and they have one huge page, on the opposite side of their map at every entrance, for how kids must behave. They even kick kids out at 5:00 on weekends.

Now, I know that these are only put in place to allow HOA’s, managements to kick people out that they don’t like for violating even one rule (your TV was too loud). It’s all about liability.

Children cannot gather in groups of larger than four. Monitor that.

This leads me to think that management companies have gone over the top with liability issues, and parents have been absent in teaching their children manners.

Whatever failings my childhood family had, we had dinner together every night. We talked about everyone’s day and when I was older, what was news that day. Then we had to ask to be excused from the table to do our homework.

I’ve even taken on some of my husband’s Texas traits. When you need to talk with a company or government agency, add “ma’am” or “sir” to the “thank you” and you’ll get nicer and faster service.

I don’t do this because it makes my life easier, though it does. I respect everyone who vies to make a living wage, if it’s my supermarket checker or TSA agent. That respect is conveyed in how they are treated. And I’ve been treated pretty badly by the TSA in the past! Turns out they were putting me through extended searches so they could smuggle drugs in another line!

Still, parents have to start early. Please and thank you. I’m sorry is a really good one to know. Fork and knife skills, Yes, ma’am, no ma’am. Thank you sir. I appreciate your time with me today. Thank you for the offer, I’ll talk to my husband and get back to you in the morning. Yes, I look forward to starting Monday.

You get my drift. But I did have to walk with the OED on my head for posture, and take ballet, piano and violin. Best wishes to the younger generations, Dee