Tag Archives: friends

Flower Girl

Some members of my extended family may not wish to read this. For over 30 years I’ve taken up the case of those thwarted by law, those hindered by a lack of human and civil rights.

Twenty years ago two dear friends announced their commitment to one another. Today their state court struck down the ban on same sex marriage. So did the Supreme Court.

They just wrote to me as Flower Girl, a role I promised them all those years ago. I never thought govligion (government and religion which our forefathers said no to mixing 250 years ago) would make this a campaign issue, to prevent adults from behaving like adults with consenting adults.

I’ve several friends who are gay or lesbian. We work together on issues. We remain friends for a long time. I think folks from the US suffer from not seeing and living in other cultures, overseas, Mexico, even Canada. I’ve had the opportunity to live overseas and learn about many countries and people.

There is a tolerance to how people live (in tents, with goats) and who they are. I’ve no issue with having a meal with a gay or lesbian couple if we have something to talk about, like art or architecture.

That’s why I look forward to being the flower girl. I’d like to wear a tuxedo and toss flower petals chosen by the groom and groom. They are dear friends and today they are happy that their state ended the marriage ban. Hurrah! Dee

Roots

I never thought I had them as we moved around a bit as a kid, but I always have and they’re always there.

Sometimes we know there are stepping stones. Ten years ago this month we adopted our dog from a shelter and have seen her through hard times. My husband is back where she was born to speak at a conference and that’s where I told her he’ll be, where we adopted our sweet, needy (that’s for you, K) girl.

Sometimes folks put down roots after high school or college but we were both stubborn and waited for the right one to come along. It took a while for both of us. Now we’ve been together over 12 years.

Places don’t matter. Home is where we are, and these are our roots. With a bit of knowledge and wisdom I am Dee thanks to my families and friends.

Indies

Yes, I do know some great people in Indianapolis, including Dad and ICB. This is not what this post is about.

It is about one old friend who taught me to love independent films. Not only did we see Das Boot together, we had coffee or tea and German Chocolate cake before entering the theater.

We spoke last night and it was as if we never left our apartment except both of us have better sofas than her brother’s Sears brown plaid with popcorn underneath.

I was always the smart kid in school and tried to play it down, to the consternation of my teachers. I started learning in high school but in college and thereafter I needed to think. Work and roommate came through. Aside from two profs, one with I’m still in touch, college didn’t teach me how to think.

I was rich making $14K per year so went to Italy and Greece for three weeks of vacation with my sister. It was a life-changing event and I thank both countries for your kindness as I thought I was worldly and with my first sip of a warm Campari apertif  I choked and ordered a diet soda.

It is interesting that we grew up near each other and still cling to the northern states. We could have our own indy film, L and D, our lives; no, I don’t think so. Too boring on my end. Cheers, Dee

The Greatest Gifts

are not gold or greenbacks, they’re time with loved ones and thinking about what you have loved and lost in life. Or what you missed.

I told one friend who was called up to serve our country today that if I had a son, he would be the one. He is honest, hard-working, strong, tough when needed, compassionate and must love his mother.

While giving him a hug goodbye I mentioned another to lighten the mood, another friend. I always wanted a big brother. I’m the oldest of four kids and had to blaze the trail. This is a guy that would have taken care of his little sister, kicked butt and took names later.

I don’t know that my dear husband has ever been in a fist fight, certainly not a gun battle because he would have won (we used to play Jurassic Park at Dave & Busters). He never needed to because words were enough. I do know that he is these two young men and his father and brother and mother and grandmother all put together that I call my husband of over ten years.

He loves my food and that I take care of him and the dog, but we talk work issues and do whatever we need to do to keep life limping along. Oh, that was me limping. Much better now.

I know girls have tuned out of this old lady’s blog but let me tell you something. Do you like coffee? Do you want to pick somebody you can drink coffee with for 50 years? Think about it.

Gents, same thing. Do you want that one-night stand? Or have you met the love of your life and are actually going to get to know her first?

We met all the parents and grandmother over a year, then eloped. Mostly because my parents were divorced, we wanted a very small wedding and didn’t have money but didn’t want anyone else to pay for it.

The greatest gift here is my husband and family (families) of over ten years. And our nine year-old dog Zoe, of course. My brother (happy birthday) called her “needy” as a pup. He was correct, as usual. That’s why he makes films and is up for an Emmy.

Yes, my brother. Emmy, documentary. We’ll see what happens. Of course we wish him well, hands up and paws up, Lassie, high ten! Cheers, Dee

ps K, she’s just mastering the High Five at nine years of age. If I can get her to do a ten will you win? d

 

Outerwear

For those from TX who think we have not been able to adopt the Rockies lifestyle, we packed three medium sized boxes simply titled “Outerwear.”

Of course I have Crocs, Nikes, winter Croc boots, Hunter bright yellow rain boots, hiking boots and severe storm winter boots. Plus about 12 coats.

So moving to a similar climate shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. We love it here in the mountains. We have friends here who will be missed.

But in TX we would never have packed three boxes of “outerwear.” So I must say, thou dost move too often.

We’re nearly done packing so apparently there’s going to be a party here tomorrow evening. All that’s left is to drive off and hopefully not into a major snowstorm. Of course I’ll keep in touch. Cheers, Dee

My Friend Joan

Whenever I am faced with a seemingly unsurmountable obstacle, I ask myself, has Joan done this, would Joan do this?  And it lets me go forward.  Why?  Because she picked up and moved three boys several times during her husband’s lengthy naval career.  When my dog died she had me bring photos and her favorite toy.  She made a collage of the photos, and put some of Chani’s ashes in a baggie in a large teddy bear that Chani took to the park the day before she died.  Joan sewed on a felt heart, and trimmed it with lace and tiny red and white beads.

I have the teddy bear here in the Rocky Mountains, one of the few personal things I brought with me 2 1/2 years ago.  Nine years ago my husband and I decided to get married, elope.  We asked Joan’s husband, the Captain, to marry us.  He disappeared to the dining room for a moment to compose himself and came back and said “yes,” he’d do it.  He wrote the vows himself and I typed them up for him.  I sent my husband over to their house that morning while I went to the hairdresser and got dressed.  It was a lovely wedding and luncheon for us and six guests who were at the elopement.  Then we headed off … but that’s another story.

Jim and Joan are like my parents, at least they were when we were out in California.  We miss them and the neighborhood’s not the same without them so we’d probably never go back.  They had a bet every year on the Army/Navy game, and it was an $8 bottle of wine.  Now Buck’s buried at West Point, and Jim will be, one day, at Annapolis and when we go back East we’ll visit both.

Good friends are hard to come by.  Jim and Joan, Buck and Sally, are dear ones that are missed now because they’re gone or 1,000 miles away.   Enjoy your friends.  Live a good life.  Be happy.  It’s great to know people who’ve been married over 60 years!  If I could only live that long…. Cheers, Dee

Here’s To Friends

My mother is gone so instead of celebrating a traditional Mother’s Day I’d like to thank some of my long-term friends. One relative.

Aunt Lorna, for all she does for family, friends and cooking for the needy and knitting for seniors and preemies in hospital settings.

Joan for being who she is, loving everyone and letting it show, and her mother for being the same but more flamboyant.

Matt, from the fifth grade, who has two beautiful daughters and occasionally tells me of their endeavors and sends me photos.

Julie, who was born the same time and day as me across the world. May she still pick up the oboe from time to time.

Pam, in high school, we were the youngest of our group and tried to keep things in perspective. At least once, we failed and reconnected after many years. When we talk in person, on the phone or email it’s like we never left each others’ side.

In college I lived with a Bio geek and we became closer years after we roomed together. As I learned to know myself, I realized we weren’t that different after all.

One of my dearest friends I met the first day of orientation, and that friendship has lasted for years. My husband and I met him for lunch once, and his son has a band that will make his dad proud.

There are so many friends from our park that I can’t even count them, and years ago they gave the city a tree in our park in memory of my dog. Many of the dogs are gone now, and the people, but several of us keep in touch even though we’re many miles away.

I didn’t meet my husband because of my dog, because she’d passed several months before. This post- 9/11 meeting was one for the books because this is my best friend, my husband.

A second installment is planned, time to snooze. Cheers, Dee

Challenges

I’ve always been interested in herbs and spices, new ideas and locales. A few days or weeks in another state or country awakens the senses. No, I’m not eating vegetarian haggis, thanks for asking.

A new adventure may be afoot. We’ve enjoyed our short-term gigs in Scotland and the UK and Utah over the years. I’m stating Scotland specifically not only because the accommodations and people were terrific, we believe they deserve their nation back. The rest of the time was in the UK, London to be exact.

Our time in Utah was interesting, as we had to manufacture our own “corporate apartment” and I had no car, laptop or cell phone. We had to buy a phone card at the local market that made me dial a 30-digit number to call outside of 1,000 yards from the apartment. I couldn’t call my husband after 4:00 pm at that number because everyone but him had gone home and there were no extensions to dial to. One time they were working on a critical project until 5:00 a.m. and I thought he was dead on the highway because I couldn’t reach him.

I learned a lot more about remote locations in the UK deal. I now have my own laptop, cell phone, Skype, you name it I’m ready for a gig. If it’s three months, we keep our current abode and get corp housing and I know what we need to take along to make it livable (my knives, a few utensils and silverware, food processor, cutting board). If longer, we move our stuff. I don’t look forward to that, as we’ve had five years to amass furniture, books and paper and it’s a time to re-assess our priorities of what to keep, store, or toss out.

That’s more of a job than just moving. It’s stuff to go through and decide what to keep and what to toss. As you may know my mother died several months ago, but for our fifth anniversary she sent a wooden bowl in which she usually served nuts. Yes, it was the “wood” anniversary, I had to look it up.

Please stay with me and forgive lapses in posts. You’ve made this blog and when I can’t post you can imagine coyotes howling or snowy egrets or sheep with strange markings.

Or way too many goats. My m-i-l has had birthings a-plenty and this is either a real business … or not. That’s my urban spin on this, knowing only that when I go to the bathroom when sleeping in Jim’s old bedroom there are bull eyes looking at me from 20′ away. It’s not whether Jim’s folks know how to raise goats, as they’ve been in the beef business all their lives so significant livestock experience is there.

Goat meat has its market. Goat cheese is another. Learning about making goat cheese and helping to create something new would be a challenge I’d like to help Jim’s family meet.

We love our family around the world (literally) and in the U.S. I remember that my father’s great-uncle in Switzerland made him executor of his estate many years ago then reneged upon it because Dad moved too much! We did get a taste of the country and world, and educational and artistic endeavors, through his works here and abroad.

Is it luck to count the folks we’ve met as friends on international and US postings? Yes, I believe so. Great luck. I’ve met so many people throughout my career and life and keep in touch with a sizable but winnowing number. Over the past ten years we’ve lost many of our friends simply because they’re older and wiser and we loved them for those attributes.

Thanks for visiting and contributing. Tomorrow I have to make a lamb arm chop and I’ll either have to marinate it in lemon and rosemary and saute, or braise. Cheers, Dee