Tag Archives: etiquette

People

Posted on October 8, 2013 | Leave a comment

It’s not just etiquette, but that is important. It’s about treating people the way you would like to be treated, or better.

Help the little old lady cross the street with her little old dog. It’s a crosswalk I had put in and no-one stops so I will be that little old lady and will thank you in print and in person. I wave nicely to anyone (few) who stops or at least slows down.

Say please and thank you, good morning and good evening and good night in at least three languages. Mine are English, Italian, French and Greek. And Scot, which is not really English, give me a Tennants, Scots, next time I’m there.

If you find a stray dog, take it to the nearest humane society and ask for their chip reader. Most dogs have a rice-sized chip behind their neck that will connect you to their crazed and frightened owner who is in his car looking all over town because he left the garage door open.

Always open doors for parents with strollers and groceries and a dog. Hold elevators. Know that they have a huge load including diaper bag and be glad you’re not doing that any more.

The person you see on the street that looks like Mick Jagger in the 70’s is not homeless, he’s making a statement. Once I tried to give a pair of gloves to a homeless person on 3rd Ave. in Manhattan in the middle of winter and he said “I only need one.” As I walked to my hotel I burst into tears. I had no use for one glove and he had no use for two but he let it go. It made me cry.

Be kind to your fellow people, the ex-spouses and in-laws, siblings, ex-friends. Give it up. If we all did this there would be no school shootings or terrorist bombings. Think about it now that NSA, HSA, CIA, FBI, TSA have read this because I used the word terrorist.

I believe in the best in people until they prove otherwise. That belief has hurt me in the past. You know the neighbor who talks your ear off, and the lady at the coffee shop who just seems “down” for a day. You can afford to give them a break. Just a wink and a smile, Jimmy Durante, make someone happy, also from Dee

Etiquette: Baby-To-Be Parties

Posted on May 20, 2013 | Leave a comment

There is a posthumous piece on Slate today about restaurant wine service and waiters interrupting conversations to pour more wine from a bottle that has been ordered to cause diners to order another.

I’m going another direction. Baby showers. Yes, a waiter was involved but only at the direction of the “hostess.” I spent a day putting together a baby basket for a neighbor we bonded with as she’d just moved in, pregnant, and her husband had a new job and was working long hours.

Surprisingly, I was invited to the baby shower, which was a dinner for about 10 gals, everyone from her husband’s work besides me. I thoughtfully purchased items and wrappings to assemble a basket that included everything from plastic keys (the “bow” atop the new basket) to bathtub books.

Dinnertime came and everyone rolled up in their expensive cars. The gals were nice, and I ordered a glass of wine and reasonably priced entree. They were ordering cocktails, bottles of wine, expensive meals, desserts and after-dinner drinks (luckily no booze for the mother-to-be). Then they split the bill.

I’d spent $75 on a gift for a nice gal I’d known for a couple of months and now my dinner was $30 including tip but I had to add an extra $100 to that for their excess. Years later, I believe the hostess should have told me, the outsider, of the arrangement, and said to the waiter that the bill would be shared by all except the mother-to-be (of course she shouldn’t pay). At least I would have had a second glass of wine and perhaps a salad! Cheers, Dee

Manners

Posted on October 25, 2011 | Leave a comment

To me, they’ve gone the way of the dinosaur. I was given etiquette books by my mother and was expected to cross a room with a book balanced on my head.

One of the more important and useful tools was to have family dinner every night, and we had to ask to be excused to do our homework.

Today I’d rather read the book than walk with it on my head but years of ballet and gymnastics lead me to believe I could still do it. For what purpose?

What was drilled into me (north) and instilled into my husband (south) was to be amiable in public, defer to elders and never do anything that would give your folks’ a bad name.

Teenagers don’t know why they do what they do, whether it’s skateboarding the local mall, smoking, doing drugs; it’s all about rebellion and anti-parents and establishment. That’s better served through sports and other legal activities, advice from an old gal who used athletics to get through high school because academia was too easy.

I don’t know why manners have taken such a hit. They’re the only way your child will ever get a job interview. If table manners aren’t taught, your college grad may pick up a steak with his hands and chew on it as if he’s a cave man. That interview just went south.

My parents raised my sister and I in a teutonic way, very structured, then the other brother and sister (think feminist writers) very liberally. They got notes to skip school regularly.

We were all raised by the same parents and have manners, which I hope will be passed on. I think that etiquette is not snobbery where one has to find the fish fork or sorbet spoon, but basic rules for society. Let’s just say, no drive-by shootings today. Cheers, Dee

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Etiquette: Baby-To-Be Parties

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