To me, they’ve gone the way of the dinosaur. I was given etiquette books by my mother and was expected to cross a room with a book balanced on my head.
One of the more important and useful tools was to have family dinner every night, and we had to ask to be excused to do our homework.
Today I’d rather read the book than walk with it on my head but years of ballet and gymnastics lead me to believe I could still do it. For what purpose?
What was drilled into me (north) and instilled into my husband (south) was to be amiable in public, defer to elders and never do anything that would give your folks’ a bad name.
Teenagers don’t know why they do what they do, whether it’s skateboarding the local mall, smoking, doing drugs; it’s all about rebellion and anti-parents and establishment. That’s better served through sports and other legal activities, advice from an old gal who used athletics to get through high school because academia was too easy.
I don’t know why manners have taken such a hit. They’re the only way your child will ever get a job interview. If table manners aren’t taught, your college grad may pick up a steak with his hands and chew on it as if he’s a cave man. That interview just went south.
My parents raised my sister and I in a teutonic way, very structured, then the other brother and sister (think feminist writers) very liberally. They got notes to skip school regularly.
We were all raised by the same parents and have manners, which I hope will be passed on. I think that etiquette is not snobbery where one has to find the fish fork or sorbet spoon, but basic rules for society. Let’s just say, no drive-by shootings today. Cheers, Dee
Cooking with Dee 