Category Archives: Family

Purging

Posted on January 13, 2015 | 1 comment

Sounds disgusting, doesn’t it? It is. I’m trying to get us to a minimum of “stuff” so we remain mobile. The old clothing et al was pretty easy, especially as I had assistance and at least six bags of clothing went to charity. Luckily some didn’t and was trashed. Reasons? Old, yellowed, 80’s shoulder pads should NEVER come back…..

Now I’m pretty much down to paper and sundry items that I have to look through. I spent much of the day on this boxing and taking out trash.

When my husband and I met and married 12 years ago I moved in, slapped things in boxes from my place 1,000 feet away and we never got a chance to merge households. We moved, put stuff in storage for several years, and now have it here. I’ve about 14 boxes left, about 7 paper, some office products, some clothing and bathroom stuff.

I just found a few “duralogs” in one box. My husband reminds me we had a fireplace once. I don’t think so. I had one before we met so I may have dragged these things across the country several times!

Once I get to work documents from 25 years ago I’ll have to cull them carefully and take most to a document destruction facility. I’m shredding personal papers and tossing old news items et al.

This week I took down our tabletop -real- Christmas tree and boxed, sealed and labeled all our precious ornaments. I’m trying to take all the taped, labeled boxes of stuff we wish to retain but don’t need every day (like Christmas ornaments, heater, humidifier) to storage but am terrified of operating their elevator. It’s the oldest industrial elevator in town and is gorgeous, huge with oak floors, but it runs on a pulley system with ropes and lead weights and is difficult to get just right, to land correctly on the floor you want to land upon.

Our place is looking better. It only took 2.5 years. I moved my office into the second bedroom because my husband bought a workhorse of a printer (the Beast) that weighs and ton and takes up a lot of space. I have a 100 year-old English oak gate leg table as my desk, it’s beautiful but rickety so I had to place the Beast on a sturdier surface, my brother’s old glass and metal desk in the guest room so moved my computer in as well.

My cherished oak desk held the Christmas tree, stockings and ornaments. I’ve been restoring it with lemon oil so have left it open. Cooks will love this. I oiled the desk yesterday, found a pashmina scarf my dad got me from Turkey last year in blues, greens and gold and used it as a table runner as it goes with the living room decor.

I didn’t have anything special to place on it so showcased a large Armetale platter my mother got from a hospital benefit years ago, an antique green lemon juicer, a new (used) copy in yellow of The New Settlement Cookbook, two soup tureens in yellow with ceramic Chinese spoons and an antique yellow Pyrex dish from the early 60’s with a daisy painted on the glass lid. Also a crayoned card from a girls’ birthday party we stopped by at a neighbor’s. My husband made them each a balloon and they each drew themselves with the balloon he made. I’m keeping it to frame for him.

With tassels on the ends of the scarf, it looks to me like an altar to food. I joked with my husband that I could grab the gardening kneeling pad I keep beside the frig and he could use it to pray to the food gods to have Dee make him spaghetti and meatballs tonight!

Purging is tiring, hurts the back and feet but a good night’s sleep will take care of that. I’ll let you know when I get to the ancient stuff. Perhaps I’ll find the signed copy of James Earl Jones’ Chilean Sea Bass recipe my father bought for me at auction. Cheers! Dee

 

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Some Weekends

Posted on November 29, 2014 | Leave a comment

we get to spend with family, cooking and reminiscing and hanging out. We do what families do, whether rain or shine, or airport delays.

I just got off the phone with my m-i-l and am thankful to have her in my life. We cooked up a storm this past week. There are weekends, weeks, days, hours for which we are, and should be, thankful.

On a flight today I met Joanna. She and her family met via Facebook. She flew in to see them after 30 years. Significant family. She sent along and made Philly food; they had a Mexican feast on Wednesday then traditional “American” Thanksgiving.

Three family members are pilots. Joanna, send some photos! They took hot air balloons over the mountains around Albuquerque. Joanna will spend next Sunday hosting her other Thanksgiving with her loving husband, kids and six grandchildren. She has a wonderful spirit and personality and I wish her well.

My family used to sit at a dining table with a tasty Thanksgiving meal. Some thought of it as being together. I thought of it as a formal meal eaten alone.

Over the years I’ve had holidays crafted together to benefit those with no family or overseas or just alone. I’ve been alone before and it ain’t fun. The more, the merrier.

Holidays are only a small part of the memories I cherish. Joanna was one plane ride in the sky. Yes, over the day’s travel travails, this I’ll keep.

Best wishes, Dee

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Sleep

Posted on November 12, 2014 | Leave a comment

Thank goodness I can’t see myself sleep. I have it on good authority from my husband of many years that I do snore and sometimes mumble in REM sleep.

He does as well and awakens me. At least he did. Now he’s off on a contract for months. If he’s stressed I just place my hand on his back and he goes right into deep sleep, which he needs because he works hard and is always problem-solving while awake or sleeping. I know about problem-solving as it’s my job as well.

Now that he’s been gone for a while I’ve something to say to scientists who say that dogs do not dream, and that they don’t remember anything or anyone after forty minutes.

While I’m up writing this, Zoe’s gotten off the bed to make sure I’m OK and still here for her. She’s had three REM sleeps, I don’t know if she caught the ball, squirrel or bunny. The only one she’s had awake success with is a ball.

I put a hand on her back and she went back to sleep. Now, I will, too. Zoe has taken over the sofa. Back to bed, dear. Yes, I’ll lift you. Bath tomorrow, you always like that. Dee

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I Don’t Know

Posted on September 30, 2014 | 1 comment

`It’s a phrase one may never utter but as long as I now have light and glasses I’ll tell you why I believe it’s important.

Saying I don’t know does not make one impotent, it is merely a challenge to learn something new. I have the greatest luck to live a door away from a Swede who is coming over to teach me his meatball recipe with his old girlfriend who is visiting from the homeland.

I can say aloud that I do not know how to make his sweet, silky Swedish meatballs (Kottbullar, he brought me some frozen ones from Sweden) but he is willing to teach me something I do not know.

In turn, I will teach him real Texas chili. LBJ, actually his wife in 1962 with JFK and 5,000 on the Ranch at Pedernales. Texans call it perdenales. Texas chili has no beans. Here’s to good eatin’ Dee

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A Song

Posted on September 24, 2014 | 3 comments

It’s tough to be away from each other for months. We get five minutes on the phone in the morning and ten in the evening simply because the hours are so different. My email is down so we had to get another service to get the first one to figure out the problem and it’s taken 12 hours on the phone. No results.

I had to join Gmail to get Yahoo to talk to me about the problem. Yahoo has a robot answer the phone and say there is a high call volume and if you’re disconnected call back. Five minutes of canned music and they disconnect. So I’ve spent the day on the phone and AT&T has been great but can’t do anything to even get tech support as the partner of Yahoo they only have access to the one Yahoo phone number that disconnects customers after waiting in line. In the end I’m going to end up with four internet services. That’s like having four electricians, four plumbers and in the end, four husbands. I think the latter is illegal.

My husband couldn’t even untangle this debacle last night and he’s a pro. ATT and Yahoo have merged services but they apparently don’t talk to each other. Hours online and on the phone and nothing has been resolved.

I do not have access to the pop mail or Yahoo mail I’ve had for years, my husband is on the same pop mail account and his is fine. He’s far away and I need my email pop account reactivated because being away is one thing, being unable to send information my husband needs is another. Was I hacked?

With the limited time we spend on the phone I wanted to sing him a song when he calls later tonight. It’s about love and commitment and I even took out the guitar and looked up the lyrics. I’ve played it badly twice and my fingers already hurt, lack of practice. Sorry PDX! Wish us well, as I do you, Dee

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Lessons

Posted on September 23, 2014 | 1 comment

Over my storied life, I have learned much from my family, school and music teachers, my husband and his family, my work at several venues and of course my dear professors.

There is nothing as educational or wisdom-producing as having responsibility for a life. No, we don’t have children, not our blessing. But I’ve been responsible for the lives of two cats and two dogs in my life over the years.

It’s like being a parent, you watch what goes in and what comes out. Sneezes as a little one and bumps as they age. You choose to adopt and take on a life and at the end, help ease them out of it.

Being responsible for a life teaches care above oneself, humility, joy, and as our Zoe would say ROUTINE. You have to go to the vet for shots, surgeries, even a first senior blood panel and keep your dog quarantined anywhere in the US under the British travel scheme permanently in case you’re sent overseas.

My first dog and cats passed after many happy years over 13 years ago. Now I’ve one old dog, nearly eleven years who we’ve had from six weeks of age. Five walks per day, perhaps six. Creating an indestructible toy. Baths and brushing and her herding us. Deciding to have her hips removed as a pup as she had severe hip dysplasia and going through two recoveries. Oh, she walks just fine and can run fast and corner because she had to grow her own hips from cartilage.

She doesn’t usually bark or whine, just stares until we do what she wants. If she’s over 70 in “dog years” perhaps that is what I should start to do. Just stare at my husband until he does what I want. Ah, well, it doesn’t work with people unless you want a horrible relationship. It does work for a herder, however. Patience is another virtue while caring for another life. It’s 5:00, time for dinner. It’s 5:02, you’re late. Get into the magic room and make my dinner, I don’t care if you’re writing about me on the blog. OK, I’m full, now I need to go for a walk. Stare.

She says “I killed a mouse today. I ate an old dead bird off the pavement and am going to vomit 48 hours later, in a safe place, your bed. Seven loads of laundry later you’ll still love me.” And we do.

Education is key. My first dog was abused for a year then in a shelter for the next. I was a volunteer and met her the first week and we were buddies but she was terrified of men, especially those in uniform, and kids. Even at this no-kill shelter there was word of another meeting to decide her fate. She was home with me the next morning. All it took was a home, love, care and training and she was the best rehabilitated dog in the world. Everyone loved her, and the kids would call out her name from the tot lot and run up to pet her and she adored them.

Did I hear the word sacrifice? No. It’s joy. For many years I was alone, not just single, alone. These were my companions and still are. Our dog Zoe follows me everywhere to make sure her pack is intact, especially as my husband has been off on a work assignment. Trust and loyalty are traits I admire from both me and Zoe. And my old dog’s ashes are in a teddy bear’s heart I move everywhere.

I do not hunt squirrels, however. Don’t worry, she’s on a 6′ leash and couldn’t get them even if she was off it, my dear hip-less wonderdog. Or bunnies. She doesn’t understand why they stay still until she’s 10′ away so they’re just interesting, not prey until they bolt. One thing is that I learn something new every day and that has always been my goal in life in all arenas. Cheers, Dee

 

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Posted in Editorial, Education, Family, Italy, Music, Pet, Recipe Ideas, Travel

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Ranches

Posted on September 17, 2014 | 1 comment

I lived above a dairy farm as a kid and am still in touch with the two families who owned it. We had great birthday parties there, competing for the best hay fort. That’s when they made small square bales, not round ones or what we call “marshmallows” that are wrapped in plastic.

There is a quality in a human being that comes from growing up on a dairy, now ranch. The hard headed-ness and attention to detail and driving, driving, driving everything is hard.

My husband is that man and we both effect change and that bothers the people who hire us to do so because they think they want it, but do not want to live through the change to achieve their objectives, mission, vision. I’ve retired from working for money but still effect change and work to help my husband do so as well.

One of my favorite homes is tearing down its mainstay, where many US Presidents and others have spoken and countless musicians, dancers have performed. It is and should be a national historic site. My dad saved it 35 years ago with other historic buildings for eight million dollars. Now they want to tear down one historic structure and add more seats for thirty million.

I worked there for years. My father was the president. One is supposed to be uncomfortable in the wooden seats where I sang Panis Angelicus in the County vocal championship in fourth grade. Second place.

There are fights that need to be done, and those that must be left alone. Change is a scary thing in any endeavor. When my husband, in a job interview, says dairy he’s usually hired on the spot. Before we married I asked what he did on holidays, family traditions et al. He said he milked cows.

He brought me to meet his parents. I used the guest bathroom at about 5:00 in the morning and unfortunately turned on the light. There were nine bulls staring at me from 15 feet away and they thought I was his father coming out to feed them. Those glowing eyes freaked me out. That’s ranching. Have a great day! Dee

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Blue and Yellow

Posted on September 14, 2014 | Leave a comment

Years ago my neighbor moved a few doors away. She stopped talking to me after we’d been friends for years and we had even rescued George the cat and re-homed him. She said I lied to her. I never did.

A couple of years after she moved and we were not in touch, it was April 2001. Her dog Osa dragged her to my house. I petted her and she died the next day. Osita the little bear needed to say goodbye to Aunt Dee. I brought over a blue vase with yellow flowers. We talked and my neighbor said she didn’t like the guy I was dating or what I was doing with my life, plus that I never lied.

A month later my dog bled out on my front lawn. A tile guy from down the street helped me lift her into my Jeep to take her to the vet a couple of miles south. The vet said she needed to be put down. I stayed with her through a very difficult dying process and afterwards was proved right. She now has a memorial tree in her park that I can see on Google Earth and ashes are in her teddy bear (Osa) that I keep with me always.

The next day my old neighbor stopped by with a blue vase filled with yellow flowers and we were friends again.

* * *

I tell you this because there’s a therapy dog for hospital work here who is up on all her shots and just got kennel cough, which will keep her out of therapy and daycare for weeks. Because of Osa and my first and current dog, I’d like to help.

The first dog with the memorial tree got kennel cough once and she had the bordatella vaccine at the time as well. Keeping her away from her park and friends for five weeks was not fun for either of us. Our friends and the kids and parents were disappointed as well. The kids would yell her name and rush out of the tot lot to pet her, so much for an abused shelter dog afraid of men and children. I don’t like to think that I worked wonders. She was my partner in her rehabilitation to the first and only normal life she’d ever known.

I think I’ll never live without a dog. Dogs keep me out and walking and meeting others. A recent neighbor’s dog died a few weeks ago. I neglected to bring him a blue vase and yellow flowers. My dog and I did, however, water one of Jake’s favorite trees in the park across the street and said a prayer. When we get together again, I’ll bring the blue vase and yellow flowers and tell him the story. Cheers, hug your dog (or cat), Dee

ps I wrote this because of the neighbor’s dog with kennel cough. I took one of the first joint Red Cross/Humane Society rescue courses years ago and looked up the manual for kennel cough, get to a vet for treatment. In it I found a delinquency notice for failure to pay my dog’s license fee with escalating penalties. This is five months after the vet notified the county that she was dead. I just wrote DEAD and the name of the Vet and never heard from them again. Just watch out for these actions and let them know the bad news. Good news are memories, a bear with a heart sewn with love and a collage of photos courtesy of a dear friend. D

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You did OK

Posted on September 7, 2014 | Leave a comment

That’s one phrase I always wanted to hear, from any of my childhood or adult pursuits. Dad was wishing it but never there. Mom never thought to think or say it.

I put my handprint in clay! I got 100+ (why didn’t you get 100 ++)! I turned to teachers, aunts of course, friends and their families. In college there were priests (never a wayward moment for them), for education and trying to learn enough to make a difference.

Then business. The awful things people say about priests today I never knew until I met legislators after college. It was all I could do to keep my skirt down in an elevator, but I did do so. Wearing opaque tights helped my defense.

Still, no-one ever said, you did OK. Now I have three-day Thanksgiving cook-fests and sometimes my mother-in-law and I rarely speak, just dance around in time making our dishes. She’s OK, and I know she knows I’m OK because she lets me use the oven. No, really she accepted me as her daughter-in-law and that’s OK for me. Did I say three days? I mean it. And this is Texas the land of sweet tea and many desserts.

And the day after I met my father-in-law for the first time he took my husband out of the truck and said “When are you gonna ask her, son? It’s OK with me.” His mother took four more days to say OK but we cook every year even though she moves the kitchen stuff around on me and I have to break the dance and ask where’s the peeler?

There’s nothing like family. Mom’s gone now. Dad’s still never around and we’ve not seen him in two years. Sisters, one may be trying for a reunion after six years.

I was a coach and a consultant and volunteer and the first thing I did was train then reward with compliments. I’m an “Atta Girl” gal and look to reward whenever I can. Corrections are necessary but need not be harsh, only fair and unemotional, on point. With extra training and more compliments.

Atta girls and guys, right here. Keep cooking and make your family proud. Dee

 

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Posted in Editorial, Education, Family, Music, Pet, Recipe Ideas, Recipes

Classroom

Posted on August 14, 2014 | 1 comment

I believe that in order to teach, one has to learn every day. The doctor may say an apple a day, I say an idea a day.

Yesterday I came up with an amazing concept for my husband. He’s not sold on it yet but give it some time to percolate.

As to teaching and learning, I never had a grandmother. I really never had a mother, RIP. My husband’s grandmother adopted me 13 years ago and I was way over the date for adoption. She is in hospital now and still as sassy a TX gal can be. She’ll joke with the nurses but make sure her hairdresser comes before she ever has a visitor. I know you, Nanny, and love you to sweet tea in the garden!

Teaching is not only in the school room. My husband has a degree in physics and it started with his Nanny reading A-Z through the dictionary, after school. He made her a crude wooden center for papers and pens. Then he he created a micro-switch for the grain bin and was sent a letter from a place called MIT. He didn’t know what that stood for so kept up in AP classes and milked cows and got a degree in Physics.

Learning doesn’t always come from the classroom. It comes from the people you meet. It makes sense when knowledge turns to wisdom. I always try to learn something from the people I interact with every day. Some folks I turn around, because of wisdom. Some I learn from, every day.

I bought our dog an educational toy a couple of months ago and she can now do it in 45 seconds. We’re all growing and learning, every day. Dee

 

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