Category Archives: Education

This post was received today from Trish:

BBQ rules

After months of cold and rainy weather, we are
finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to
refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking
activity, as it’s the only type of cooking a ‘real’ man will do, probably
because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do
the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the
vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places
it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes
it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL!

More routine….

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the
meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while
he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS
IT TO THE WOMAN!

More routine….

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread,
utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and
does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his
cooking efforts!

(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her
night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s
just no pleasing some women.

(This photo was supposed to be in Interesting People above. John is considerably younger than this gentleman and is an interesting person in his own right, just not this person. The photo is of Rocco, owner of our favorite neighborhood restaurant downtown Glasgow, Piazza Italia, just off George’s Square. This was our going away party. Rocco gave us mini babas au rhum in limoncello, and we gave him my favorite CD, Frank Sinatra’s Come Fly With Me.)

The following story was submitted via a personal email today from my Brother-in-Law John. Thanks John! He wants our dog Zoe to accompany him Bambi-hunting this fall. I may send her along because she’ll make so much racket running around in the woods that he’ll never even see a deer, much less kill one!

“Speaking of venison, I read this crazy article recently in the Texas
Parks & Wildlife magazine that stated the origins of “humble pie” to
have initially been “umble pie” — referencing “umbles” as the variety
meats of the deer in the King’s forests. The author claimed that
commoners substituted the variety meats of their common livestock, and
called their own version an ignominious “humble” pie, and thus the
expression, “eating my humble pie” has been passed along to us. The
author explained that the flavor of wild game at that time was believed
far superior to beef or lamb, and that is why the nobles prohibited
commoners from enjoying the spoils. He went on to suggest that the
reason native Americans wasted no part of the game they harvested was
due not to necessity, but because of the enjoyment derived from these
various internal organs. It’s an interesting perspective, but I am
dubious.”

I’ve gotten better over the years, but there have been a couple of doozies. Today I heard from my cousin John. Many years ago I had him over for dinner and wanted to roast a chicken. I had one of those small, gas apartment stoves. He showed up at my door, and I took the chicken out of the oven to rest. It looked fantastic, the skin brown and crusty. Several minutes later, I went to carve and the meat was raw! As I recall, I cut up the chicken and pan-fried it ’til done. Of course, John will never let me forget the great chicken debacle – the night the pilot light went out.

Ten years later, I was visiting my family and decided to make a turkey and corn chili. It called for chiles and I’d just bought some really pretty Thai bird chiles at the farmer’s market, that I’d never used before. I used 1/3 of what the recipe called for. That chili was so hot it was inedible! I added everything but the kitchen sink to it over the next few days trying to tame the fire, to no avail.

Then there are the dangerous disasters, like cutting off the top of my finger with a serrated knife, slicing a roll for dinner. I called Mike, and by the time I got to their house, less than 60 seconds later, he already had the dining table outfitted like a paramedic’s truck. He’s ex-Army Ranger and doesn’t mess around. His wife Dana sat in the den facing the other way because she can’t stand the sight of blood. Mike started with a green tea poultice. It took weeks to get better because every time I shifted my Jeep it opened up again. It’s OK now, kind of numb, but it took the salty seas of Ionia to heal it for good. Enough of the bad memories.

Oh well, it’s how we learn. I was bad at my Easy Bake Oven as well. First time I made pretzels and they were gooey and stuck to my hands so were thrown out. If I’d just known to add flour they would have been ok, but I was five years old. I did make a chocolate cake that turned out well. Cooking with a 120 watt light bulb, what an invention!

Keep cooking, no matter the number of kitchen disasters (unless you’re a danger to yourself or others). Above is Jim’s Glasgow breakfast of sunny side eggs, smoked and cured pancetta, toast with jam and English Breakfast Tea. No, he can’t cook, so the kitchen is all mine wherever we go.

I was tossed into this, an urban cook with French and Italian experience.  In cooking, that is, not men.  My husband thinks it’s easy to do this so put me online yesterday and I’m struggling with the software.

It would be interesting to know whether you’d like the benefit of my first two cooking classes, “A Cook’s Tools” and “The Essential Pantry” instead of just recipes.  I’ve researched both and would be happy to share my experience with you.

I graduated from what is now ICE (Institute for Culinary Education) in NYC, and eight hours a day, five days a week, it was the best time I ever had in school.  I learned so much!  But after all that French cooking I find that simple ingredients, cooked simply to gather all their flavor is what I want in a meal.

If you’d like to go on a journey, please join me.