Category Archives: Editorial

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Job Description

Posted on July 14, 2014 | Leave a comment

Gap Director, VP of Gaperations, Fixer of Gaps, I write to you.

Aside from writing and caring for a needy husband and needier dog, I plug gaps. I try to anticipate where we’ll be, deal with where we are, and plan for the future.

Yes, sometimes there are tears involved as this is my family but I have spent half a lifetime helping others as well.

I know nothing of mortar or grout except in reaching out and being that substance emotionally for my husband and others.

Right now I can’t wear my wedding ring and it hurts me not to do so. It took months to get used to wearing it and washing dishes and clinking, but after many years it hurts me more to take it off to let this mosquito bite heal. The City told me they wouldn’t take care of mosquitoes until late summer when West Nile virus started sending people to the hospital. At least they were not gored by an angry cow at the sale barn.

The Gapmaster, Gapmeister, Gapster. When forces come in against a family if it was my choice alone I’d go elsewhere, go after their market, then go after their people and clients. But that’s just me.

Unfortunately for us, we’re honest people (I can’t vouch for Zoe the Dog as she’s an Opportunist) so I’ll keep grouting and mortaring souls. Here’s to my second fav dog Jake – he still loves his homemade treats by Aunt Dee and is limping along with bone cancer. Cheers, Dee

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They Knock?

Posted on July 11, 2014 | Leave a comment

Opportunities, I mean. Do they really knock? I get a gut feeling when something is right and once I was right on the move and the money but wrong on the boss.

The rest of the time I had a good deal albeit with the usual suspects. That’s the trade-off. Good job, some bad folks try to mess it up.

I’m talking leglislatures, governments, charities. I’m retired so I can write about it. Perhaps even write a novel about it. It’s been a good life.

In the end I’ve never heard an opportunity knock. I’ve just used my gut and brain to know what to do and have mostly made the right decision. Please use your assets to ascertain your future. Cheers, Dee

 

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Claddagh

Posted on July 9, 2014 | Leave a comment

I went to see my canine friend who has bone cancer. He stood up when I arrived and went for a walk with his Aunt M. His Aunt Dee is impressed with this wonderful companion.

There’s another who is in good health and old and we see a few times and his name is Wurli. He and our dog Zoe are buddies.

This morning I saw Wurli’s owner’s ring and it had a blue cast then it changed. He said it was a mood ring, which I had in the early 70’s. He’s quite retro and an artist in the purest form.

I showed him my Claddagh ring with heart for love, hands for friendship and crown for loyalty. I initially wanted one for my wedding ring. Now I wear it on my right ring finger, heart pointed in as my heart is taken, forever.

There are so many things that go into a life, a marriage. One does not have a choice to be born, only to figure out what to do with one’s life. That’s a task that can take many years. Cheers! Dee

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Limitations

Posted on June 29, 2014 | Leave a comment

As a little girl, I’d say to my mother that Debbie had invited a few of us girls for a sleepover. She’d say “why would she want YOU there?”

First jobs during college, picking weeds and resurfacing clay tennis courts at a summer resort. I wasn’t allowed to sit on the roller as that was a manly job, just do all the scut work.

After college, I finally got a good and interesting job but my boss was elevated from my job so I got to do all the organizing and writing but when it came to negotiations and deliberations I was not allowed at the party. Trust.

I left him abruptly to go be a lobbyist in NYC. My boss took my words and said “Go downtown, I’ll have your testimony before you have to go on.” Yes, she did, changing three or four words and commandeering a car to get her there usually about a minute before I spoke, thus I never got to see the changes.

When employers do not train their employees to do what is needed to get the job done, that does a disservice to both. When employees are asked to do certain things to make things right and do them, an employer must reconsider their status if they’ve been downgraded.

I’ve been a boss and have also created and managed many volunteer projects over the years. I find that honey, not vinegar, is the key. Discussion, sometimes “you could do this better, here’s how to do it and thanks for volunteering.”

One client had a board after events that was called Goods and Betters. It wasn’t what went right and wrong, it was what was good and what we’d need to do better, as in name tags weren’t at the table and had to be gotten from the car.

Teamwork, common goal, benchmarks, praise, trust tend to work better than what I’ve encountered throughout parts of my life. As to a mother telling a kid that no-one would want to play with them, I’m still at a loss and I can’t talk to her about it because she’s gone.

When I was young I allowed some limitations to get the best of me. It took until I was 30 to come into my own as a person. Now I see these young pro athletes and they’re young enough to at least be my sons, if not nearly grandkids. They don’t see limitations, they see opportunities and so do I. Cheers! Dee

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Blame

Posted on June 26, 2014 | 1 comment

My husband, dog and I live in a very nice apartment in a large tower with a great view. Yesterday we received a message from management that there are 96 packages downstairs and if you don’t come and pick them up, we’ll be forced to enter your home and deliver them to you.

We do not have a package downstairs. I hate this kind of message that blames all for the actions of a few. Of course, to my husband’s chagrin, I had to write back and address the issue. I said they have a new and improved package room and if they only placed a door on it, it could be used. Also that we had nary a package downstairs and didn’t want the blame to extend to everyone for a few folks who actually got to have a summer vacation.

Why? What happened in my childhood that made me hate to be made to be the bad guy when I wasn’t? We were going on a trip, and our family usually left early in the morning, like 4:30. We bathed and packed the night before so all we had to do was make our beds and get dressed and go sleep in the car. I was probably six or seven at the time.

My sister was always sucking her thumb and twirling her hair until it got into knots. Sometime during the night she got up, went to the kitchen, got a pair of dull scissors, cut off a knot in her hair and left the hair and scissors on the kitchen table.

Awakened at 4:00 a.m., we were summoned to the kitchen for a tribunal where my sister and I were told someone had to confess to this wrong or we weren’t going on our vacation. My sister had a shock of hair sticking straight up, and my hair was at least ten shades darker than hers. Nothing. After eons, I “fessed up” because I wanted to get to Virginia beach and it was a 14 hour drive. No. That didn’t work. I was now in trouble for lying and my sister still wouldn’t confess.

The minute she said she did it, the hair and scissors disappeared and we hopped in the car. During the inquisition, I wondered if my parents were just stupid. The culprit was there, plain as day, sucking her thumb and twirling her hair, but for an hour or so, I was made to feel guilty enough that I took the blame and got in trouble for that as well.

Teachers always played the blame game. Assign blame to the class when they know exactly who wrote that nasty phrase on the blackboard. I don’t like that style of management, teaching or parenting so I wrote back.

Management knows all of our email addresses, and they know to whom these packages are addressed. Write the owners of the 96 packages, don’t blame all of us. It was easier to send out a blanket email blaming thousands of residents than probably 40 who’ve been remiss in picking up their mail.

Shortly after receiving their missive and responding, I received an email saying we had drycleaning downstairs. Within ten minutes I picked it up. They even have a huge flat screen with our unit numbers and whether we have a package or drycleaning, a sign everyone (including non-residents) can see. I don’t want to get into the privacy implications of that but we have to electronically sign for packages/drycleaning then our names come off the Nazi (did I say that?) Board.

All I want is a modest home in the country with a garden and a Whole Foods Market 1/2 mile away, like that’s gonna happen. I’ll have to order food on Amazon Prime and herbs/spices at Penzeys. No Nazi Boards, no accusatory emails, a simple life where we can live in peace with a couple of goats and make cheese. Ah, well, we can dream. Dee

 

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Flower Girl

Posted on June 25, 2014 | Leave a comment

Some members of my extended family may not wish to read this. For over 30 years I’ve taken up the case of those thwarted by law, those hindered by a lack of human and civil rights.

Twenty years ago two dear friends announced their commitment to one another. Today their state court struck down the ban on same sex marriage. So did the Supreme Court.

They just wrote to me as Flower Girl, a role I promised them all those years ago. I never thought govligion (government and religion which our forefathers said no to mixing 250 years ago) would make this a campaign issue, to prevent adults from behaving like adults with consenting adults.

I’ve several friends who are gay or lesbian. We work together on issues. We remain friends for a long time. I think folks from the US suffer from not seeing and living in other cultures, overseas, Mexico, even Canada. I’ve had the opportunity to live overseas and learn about many countries and people.

There is a tolerance to how people live (in tents, with goats) and who they are. I’ve no issue with having a meal with a gay or lesbian couple if we have something to talk about, like art or architecture.

That’s why I look forward to being the flower girl. I’d like to wear a tuxedo and toss flower petals chosen by the groom and groom. They are dear friends and today they are happy that their state ended the marriage ban. Hurrah! Dee

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Jake

Posted on June 25, 2014 | 5 comments

I must admit that I let a gorgeous blond gent share our bed when my husband was out of town on business. Our dog Zoe took over my husband’s pillow. Jake, a Golden Retriever, took the lower half of the bed.

Jake now has bone cancer and may live through the summer. He’s a good buddy and is still happy and eating well so I wanted to make him some homemade treats.

Jake’s Treats

2 containers chicken livers, a pound or so, drained

1/2 of a sweet or regular onion, chopped fine

1 cup each whole wheat flour (plus) and cornmeal

2 t garlic powder

1 egg

1 cup cottage cheese

I sauteed the chicken livers in a bit of bacon fat and a tsp. of butter, s & p. Use canola or olive oil or whatever you like to keep them from sticking. Start with the onions, add liver to sear and cook and cool a bit and process to a paste. Add to flour/corn meal/garlic mixture, Add egg and low fat cottage cheese and blend. I used a wooden spoon. A stand mixer would work well here! Depending upon the weather you may have to add more whole wheat flour to make a dough.

Pat it out in two batches. I’d cook at 325 for about 45 minutes then shut off the oven for 1/2 hour or so in order to dry them out without over-baking. Cool before storing in plastic bags or containers  in the freezer.

I used my dog bone cookie cutter and the 2nd batch looked nicer than the first so they’re Jake’s Treats. Zoe did a taste test and gave the biscuits two paws up! You can roll them out and bake them as a sheet and break them up, the dogs don’t care if it’s in a bone shape.

Note: Jake’s Treats have no preservatives so should be kept in a airtight container in the freezer. They thaw quickly or your dog may even like them a bit frozen.

Last night Jake’s dad was out of town so Aunt Mary took me to see him. He’s on better meds so is in less pain and was very happy to see his Aunt Dee as well (I didn’t bring Zoe as they play hard together) and loved his freshly baked treats.

A while ago when Jake came to stay with me, he and Zoe played keep-away with Zoe’s “Precious” which is a Kong-type big lacy ball with a squeaky gorilla latex toy inside (my husband’s invention). After four hours of mayhem Jake went missing for a few minutes. I looked around for him, heard breathing and he had locked himself in our guest bath. That’s where he goes for rest and privacy at home. When Mary ushered me and Jake’s Treats in last night, I heard him in the bathroom and asked if I could let him out. He’s a sweetheart.

Here’s to the pets who make us more human, and humane. Dee

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Entitlement

Posted on June 24, 2014 | Leave a comment

I’ve a tiny photo of my old cat Nathan in a frame by my desk. He’s on his bed with his name embroidered on it, and his green eyes look at me before I write. He was the first pet I had to euthanize. I comforted him, then held him after he died for a while and I felt something. I’d like to think that some of him is in me.

An angel ornament is there as well, of my first dog Chani, not that I need any reminders. I only have to go to Google Earth to see her tree in her park thousands of miles away. The other is me, standing by pine trees at probably 18 months in a pink snowsuit, showing me the possibilities of life.

As I write I look at these reminders every day. When I hear that a US Senator’s son allowed 20 dogs to die under his care, and then blames the dogs for their deaths and packs them, dead and dying in a shed… I am suspicious.

I’ve never seen a setup as is online now where the dogs stayed, it’s as if they’re locked in a laundry room. If a dog chewed a wire and cut off the A/C that wire should never have been open in the first place. This is human error, and I’d say cruelty. My dog has stayed on a farm before with 15 acres and cows and she got dirty but a bath was part of going home.

When Zoe came home from the vet she ran to us and was needy. From the farm, she was paired with an older dog to teach her manners and also secret things to make her humans do what she wants, yes the latter part was a success. I went there, worked with them on a spay/neuter project and Zoe was a favorite there and when clean from mud et al joined them in the office.

TO: Dog Owners in Maricopa County

Do NOT go to Green Acres to board your dog unless you want it to turn up dead and the Senator’s son say it was your dog’s fault.

Thank you, and so sorry to all the families who lost their dogs due to at the very least, negligence. I know a great lawyer in UT who can get you a class action suit. Dee

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Being The Girl

Posted on June 22, 2014 | Leave a comment

My parents didn’t know what I would be back in the day, even called my Dudley because they knew I’d be a dud, but it was not my fault for being born, or for being a girl. My name was John Robert until I was a girl. That was the beginning of what became Dee.

In childhood after we left the village and went up to the hill, it was just my sister and I, then our “brothers” down the way a bit. We played baseball with a lot of ghost men, built sand castles and later, swam in our new pool. They’d put snakes down our backs or cherry bombs but there were no casualties.

One day a boy on the school bus (it was a 1/2 bus because it went to rural areas like ours so fellow students called it the “retard bus”) took my hat off my head and tore it in half. They would have not have done this if I were a boy. All the boys in two large families told that boy never to touch me again.

Eighth grade, kids over after school and we played ping pong. Two of us were left, me and this boy. I kicked his butt in the game and afterward he said he’d never talk to me again because girls were supposed to let boys win at sports.

Junior year of high school I wrote my thesis on “Horses Sweat, Men Perspire and Women Glow” all about discrimination in high school sports. We had linoleum over concrete in our gym. Boys had gorgeous wood and when it was being re-done they took our gym and we had to sit in temporary classrooms doing nothing.

I went out with a guy in high school and part of college who said if I wanted to work I could do it for “pin money,” my own $20 slush fund for the hairdresser or such.

Then it went the other way. I met someone who told me yes, he wanted marriage but I’d quit consulting, get a 9-5 job near his place and he’d be off to another country half the year. I’d pull my own weight and would never get a penny after giving up my freedom. So much for that. Two proposals ditched.

Then I met my husband. I’m retired now but we work together to make things right in the world. No, we’re not personally feeding starving children here or in other countries but together, as a team, we can make a difference. We don’t need the photo-ops as we’re behind the scenes, writing the software or organizing the volunteers, guiding the missions and being there for each other as well.

Every once in a while I like to be the girl and receive a bunch of flowers and cook for my love and best friend. Here’s to you from Dee and dog Zoe, who herds me.

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Sheets of Rain

Posted on June 18, 2014 | Leave a comment

Zoe (the dog) and I got together on the bed to watch a violent thunderstorm. Most folks were in their basements. We had good media coverage until cable went out so I sat next to her on the bed and calmed her through the storm.

There’s another one going on now but it’s further away and not lightning right outside our windows. I love watching thunderstorms, have since I was eight years old. I’d mitered all the window frames and we had no shades or draperies so my sister and I sat up and watched a terrific storm while our cousin slept in the living room a few feet away. He slept, and ended up a sailor and now heads the largest shipping company in … wherever.

More storms are rolling in but not like the first. Oh, we don’t have a basement. We do have many solid floor-to-ceiling windows and are up high and on the other side of the storm. I know to go to the bathroom or downstairs garage if there’s a tornado. Perhaps sit in my car in said garage. With the dog.

The fog is coming back in and the winds have ceased for now but there’s still a weather advisory out. Time to check the weather. Hope you’re having an interesting day as well, Dee

 

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