Category Archives: Editorial

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Dogs in Heaven

My path took me to a Franciscan college before I knew it. I believed in St. Francis of Assisi as a child growing up in the HRC church. Of course there is a place for our loved ones where we’re destined to go.

Pope Francis told a young boy whose dog had died that there was that place. My first cat Nathan (gift from God) never let me get the last word in even as he took his last breath in my arms. He said “I can’t believe they let dogs in.”

Not too soon, but I look forward to seeing my dear friends when I go. Oh, both Nathan and Mick loved dogs. Chani, my first rescue dog, loved cats and raised Mickey; as does our Zoe (Greek for life). Cheers! Dee

One View

I will not miss. For most of the past 13 years I’ve been blessed with constant views of parks, wildlife, mountains, skyscrapers or ever-changing lakes.

There is a rehabilitation facility up the street that I can see from our windows. People there say they occasionally admit a young person who has been in a catastrophic automobile accident, but mainly it is an “old folks home.”

I’m known to get up in the middle of the night and read the news or write. Tonight is different. Not only is my husband two thousand miles away, I’ve moved my office to another room, one that I’ve rarely spent more than a few moments in to dust or vacuum or make up the futon for guests.

A short while ago lights awakened me in our bedroom. Three ambulances with flashing lights were just up the street. Then there was one. No flashing lights. Right by the ambulance bay. All is quiet, then they roll out the body and the last ambulance leaves. It is sad to think that someone with little or no family remaining has passed.

Sad, as well, to walk by en route to the grocery store and see a bevy of nurses outside, smoking. Yes, nurses, smoking and chatting. And the residents have a “tent” out in the parking lot, each with their respective chair they brought from whatever home they may have had, for smoking.

My elders used to discourage my great aunt from smoking. She refused until she was nearly 100 years old to go to a nursing home. When they realized how much of her pension was going to cigarettes, as soon as we turned 18 when we crossed the border to Canada to visit we were urged to use our adult status to get her cigarettes for 1/4 the price, as well as alcohol for the family reunion at a similar discount.  Way back then the US dollar was much stronger than Canada’s.

Mom was Canadian but finally got a Green Card. She kept citizenship there probably to make sure my brother never had to be conscripted for war duty. No, she never smoked. But I sat in her room and watched her for an entire week at hospice. She died over six years ago. I spent time with her alive, barely, there was no funeral, and my gift at her death was to assure that before cremation, her corneas were donated at her behest.

When I see these ambulances I think of people, not parts. I hope they have family and friends who care and will remember them and their stories. My father went in this week to have two cancerous tumors removed. It reminds me to go see him as soon as possible (he wouldn’t let me come and cook right away) and hear and write down as many stories as I can.

He is a human being, not a set of parts. I will not miss the ambulances. I will miss the view, of an ever-changing lake and feeding one set of ice fishers each year who let me get the closest I ever will to walking on water. Cheers from my temporary new space! We’ll set up the new printer today and I’ll be on the move. Dee

 

The Final Frontier

Yes, space.

Marrying me cost my husband space. Granted he got out of an abysmal man cave apartment on the first floor behind the mail boxes. It was dark, dingy, small and he had to keep the drapes and blinds closed all the time because of passers by. Never mind that there was one boxed lasagne (from his mother) in the freezer, individually wrapped string cheese in the frig with wrappers strewn between the frig and computer (he built one of the first home-made dual-brained computers with double monitors) and remnants of one 72 oz. Big Gulp Dr. Pepper.

I gained him space, light, cleanliness, no more clean pile/dirty pile laundry and healthy, hearty home-cooked meals.

He left me three weeks after we met, after having been dot-bombed. He rented the minimum three linear feet of space in an ABF freight truck and moved home for two weeks when he came back with a new job. We married after 16 months and a year later moved to Texas. Twelve linear feet on ABF frieght. He says I cost him nine linear feet.

Initially I brought our kitchen, office and bedroom into our home. Finally we got a real dining room, bedroom, and living room to call our own. Last time I believe it was 15 linear feet. Now, with a super futon for the guest room and more framed art it’ll probably take the entire truck. I think it’s 28 feet. Don’t know if we can fill it but we’ll try, that way we’ll be the only stop. After all, time is money, too. No, I won’t put the dog in there to fill it up. She has her 4″ orthopedic bed in the back of my SUV.

We’ve moved up in the world, literally and so far have had many nice views, close commutes, good neighbors and we’ve made some friends along the way. Family remains far afield but we visit when we can.

Our next step should include light, views, space as well as the basic necessities. That always includes a place for family and friends to visit. Cheers, Dee

Chautauqua Amphitheater

I haven’t seen it in a few years, but in my college years it was a scary adventure. Steps to the choir loft, shaky ladder upstairs, then two boards with no safety net 100 feet off the floor to the rickety sound booth.

Several people were around to change that, including donors, the board and my father, the new president. We sneaked in, college worker kids, to see the new setup, cool sound and light booth with safe access.

Now the story is tearing the entire thing down or renovating it. I’m hearing a lot from both sides and hear it from the side of safety and preservation. It should be a national landmark for the speeches that have been given there.

It is a venue in which I performed at age seven in the State choir competition, we sang Panis Angelicus and came in 2nd, and I’m still in touch with that grade school music teacher, Mrs. P.

I’ve mixed thoughts especially after meeting old friends last week. A week before that I received an e-mail with the old joke “How many Chautauquans does it take to change a light bulb? “Change?”

Yes, change. Many of us have been instruments of change over many years, me included. If one can preserve historic Victorian structures over the years in a pristine manner, fine. If they sag a foot and need an $8 million dollar renovation (many of them)  because of deferred maintenance that’s another issue that must be addressed for safety.

I believe the boards should be saved, in an appropriate manner, and starting with the last standing at Old First Night, first the descendants of Miller and Vincent, the founders and families with multiple generations.

Truth-telling, I’d build a house with it and wouldn’t even care that it was yellow. I walked, jogged or drove by it and caught snippets of a performance or lecture so many times during my work, before cell phone cameras that I never got enough photos of it. It will be remembered and I don’t know the plans but hope its spirit will be kept, and the entirety missed as someone knew 30, 50 or 80 years ago.

No, I don’t know the plans for it, only that what was done in the early 1980’s to shore up the roof by a foot and make it safe (and paint it, as Mark Russell said, echoed by a flautist, trumpeter and tuba artist all playing “Flight of the Bumblebee” in competition for the shortest version, to get the Amp painted.)

Some things change, some stay the same. It is wonderful to see my cornerstones of that venerable institution. In the meantime, ask before you change any light bulbs. Cheers! Three taps. Dee

Menus

Why are menus so difficult? When I was freezing cold sitting under an arctic weight comforter many years ago with a coat and gloves in my small bedroom, separate thermostat up to 55 degrees for my presence (the others were at 45) I spread out cookbooks and melded tastes and textures and flavors for the perfect meal.

For a couple of years I was a professional “orphan” at Christmas. I was always the 7th to their six, even third to their two. For the past 13 years Thanksgiving is always at my husband’s grandmother’s, whom we both call Nanny. It is a feast of epic proportions and one to be very thankful for one’s participation.

We’ve been by ourselves on Christmas, sometimes being in a new town but we’re back. I love to welcome those with no parents, family halfway around the world, newcomers to town. In no way are they “orphans” but I do love to cook dinner for a few brave souls, usually neighbors, and try to make a menu for them.

These days one must ask allergies and dislikes and one dinner was kicked out immediately. As I age and get more experienced with menus and cooking I must also gauge cooking space in the oven and on the stove.

For those of you who’ve read me for a few years you may remember the capon debacle. Whole Foods, while I love it, will not carry capon. My mother used to make it for every special occasion except Thanksgiving and Christmas and with four kids and a husband, it was pretty much a monthly occasion and her butcher was easily prepared for it.

A few weeks ago I interviewed the head of http://www.roastgoose.com, Jim Schiltz, head of Shiltz Farms. They took on Wapsie Farms’ capon business. Jim, I have to tell you that I will do a goose in the future but right now we’re moving across country in a month and there is much to do and it does not include studying cooking or carving a goose or innovating many leftovers.

I will order a large capon for dinner for six. Make mashed potatoes and probably roasted carrots, steamed green beans. Appetizer undecided. Dessert would have to be cold and kept outside, covered because of no frig space or oven space to make a pie. Or I could make mincemeat tarts in advance. Capon would be stuffed under the skin with butter, s&p and herbs. Stuffed with sausage & apples and toasted wheat bread.

It’s a good feeling so far. I’m now sitting at the computer in 68 degrees next to several cold floor-to-ceiling windows (less than 1/2 degree per year). It reminds me of the old days. For three years we placed all our stuff in storage except for a couple dozen tech books for my husband’s work. I did without cookbooks. If there was anything new I needed ideas for, I looked it up online.

Now my cookbooks are back (at least for now) and to think of something, like Julia Child’s Uncle Hans’ City Scrapple and knowing just where to look it up is a comfort to me. There will never be a total replacement for books, at least while I’m on this earth.

Happy menu planning! My mother went through turkey for years before doing the traditional English feast of prime rib, Yorkshire pudding et al. To each his/her own. Enjoy the holidays. Cheers! Dee

Pick of the Litter

She was, and is, for us. A damaged dog from genetics, we got her at six weeks and already spayed. Too early for me, I’m OK with 8 weeks spay with a really good vet.

I can’t tell you happy she is and how sad I’ll feel when she has to leave us. She misses her Dad, her human one, who we’ll finally join next month. He’s the fun guy. I’m the food wench and disciplinarian. She does love me as well, just not so much as the Fun Guy.

I have supported no-kill shelters before they existed and thank shelters and Maddie’s fund, made up of most of the people I interviewed early on from San Francisco SPCA, for what they’ve done over the years.

Over 2,000 cats would not have been spayed/neutered without volunteers. Maddie’s Fund started funding vets but not their assistants or even providing water for volunteers. For me that was the beginning of the end.  You didn’t see fights between vets and assistants. Unfortunate for the cats who kept proliferating but the FCC did well.

I moved cities and no longer had a cat. He was in love with a neighbor’s Corgi so he went with them when they moved. Shortly thereafter we married and in another year we adopted Zoe. I have to bathe her every two weeks so husband is not allergic/offended to dander.

After over 20 years working with animals I can say our Zoe is the happiest critter I’ve ever met. She doesn’t mind that she has no hips and had to grow her own as a pup from cartilage. She says hello to everyone and even does tricks. Turn around, high five, roll over. Walkers don’t know my name but always know hers.

In the end we decided to adopt a dog who will be eleven years old next month as we celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary. The anniversary may go with no fanfare but Zoe will always have a good dinner and walk.

No, she was the runt of the litter but we fell in love with her and took her home, forever. Now when I think of our lives together I only wish that in the end she goes with no pain or suffering. She is not a pet, she is a family member. To canines and felines everywhere, I bid you a good day, Dee

Moon, Clouds and Shimmering Lake

Yes, I feel the tug between familiar and unfamiliar, new. For the past ten years I’ve had fantastic views. Now I will look at nothing. Perhaps a parking lot or strip mall. I don’t know, I’ve never been where I’ve been designated to live except to change planes. Now we’ll spend twice as much to see nothing.

Tonight this beats the air show any day. It was just so quiet and beautiful. I will miss selecting a random ice fisher for coffee, pastries and beer one cold winter morning. One or two may miss the random me, as well. My husband looked on the first year then sent the dog over. He thought I was nuts giving food to these fishermen, then he hadn’t yet walked on water. Ice, yes, but he hadn’t taken a photo of his boots.

The next year he didn’t come with me, neither did the dog, and the guys had a hut and fire and everything and asked me to stay because I was good luck – they caught a big fish the moment I arrived!

It was a ride we made the most of. Yesterday I got to see a few friends as I unpack old stuff, plan to pack the pick of the litter (yes, you Zoe) and find a place to live. My husband will be in over the holidays so we’ll get a lot done during that time.

I do hope that you’re cooking, as I made spanakopita today and shared it. There’s a big pantry to pare down and yet all I want to do is get 10# of OO flour from the local Italian grocery to take along.

One car, one dog who takes 1/3 of it. Over 2,500 miles. Knives, dog food, guitar, luggage. Two gallons water for desert. We’ll work it out. Cold beverages and sandwiches on ice packs. I can do it. Cheers, Dee

Sunshine

We’re moving on. The cold winters I grew up with will again become a thing of the past. While we do not have a place to live I’ve parameters.

Good grocery store, parks, places to walk and clean up after the dog. A place to buy Zoe’s frozen raw food. Of course a two-car garage and guest room for parents, siblings and guests.

Now I get particular as I leave cold for warmth and sun. Washer/dryer in unit, heat and A/C, gas stove, kitchen storage, parking for two cars. Also my favorite restaurant within walking distance, a drycleaner nearby and a framing store.

This morning I met a grade school art teacher and told her of the height of my artist career, age five, crayon of The Wizard of Oz. She gets the kids before they start editing themselves. What a wonderful job! My dear aunt who was gifted this piece many years ago, gave it back and asked me to frame it. That I did. Of all the pictures hanging on our walls this is my husband’s favorite.

I would like a home, dear husband, not a bachelor pad where we put all our things in storage for another three years, we’re joining you in sunshine and even with my new major domo  gal helping me deal with Boxlandia, you are #1 in our book. D and Z

Some Weekends

we get to spend with family, cooking and reminiscing and hanging out. We do what families do, whether rain or shine, or airport delays.

I just got off the phone with my m-i-l and am thankful to have her in my life. We cooked up a storm this past week. There are weekends, weeks, days, hours for which we are, and should be, thankful.

On a flight today I met Joanna. She and her family met via Facebook. She flew in to see them after 30 years. Significant family. She sent along and made Philly food; they had a Mexican feast on Wednesday then traditional “American” Thanksgiving.

Three family members are pilots. Joanna, send some photos! They took hot air balloons over the mountains around Albuquerque. Joanna will spend next Sunday hosting her other Thanksgiving with her loving husband, kids and six grandchildren. She has a wonderful spirit and personality and I wish her well.

My family used to sit at a dining table with a tasty Thanksgiving meal. Some thought of it as being together. I thought of it as a formal meal eaten alone.

Over the years I’ve had holidays crafted together to benefit those with no family or overseas or just alone. I’ve been alone before and it ain’t fun. The more, the merrier.

Holidays are only a small part of the memories I cherish. Joanna was one plane ride in the sky. Yes, over the day’s travel travails, this I’ll keep.

Best wishes, Dee

Tendencies

Over thirteen years ago my husband and I met. He’d gotten into dot-com and had just been dot-bombed. The board of a 60 person corporation met and left their agenda on a white board for all staff to see. The final item was lay off 1/3 of the staff.

Of course he was one of the last 20 hired so he hung around a couple of weeks, looking for work, but knew it was unlikely to find as fellow dot-coms were sinking as well. That’s when we met.

Two weeks later I visited his “man cave” knowing he’d have to go back to family to reassess his opportunities. I immediately ended the clean pile/dirty pile laundry “system” and washed and dried and organized everything. Come on, the only things in his frig were individually wrapped string cheese and a 72 oz. Dr. Pepper. The freezer held one store-bought microwave lasagne left by his mother three months earlier.

Yes, the string cheese wrappers were on the rug from the frig to his home-built dual-brained computer, in front of blackout shades because the man cave was five feet from the mail boxes looking out on a parking lot and he liked to work in his underwear.

A few days later I helped him pack, everything was organized so it was easy. Then after he left me forever I paid money I didn’t have to give for maid service so he’d receive his deposit. He returned to me in two weeks with a job in town. When a neighbor asked why he came back, my husband of nearly 12 years said, “her.”

We now have views wherever we live, nice furniture and artworks, and have been able to keep a dog alive and happy for nearly eleven years. Plants, not so much.

As we hit another crossroads I must say that I went on strike shortly after we moved in. My husband was urged to take the larger place and move all of our furnishings out of three years in storage halfway across the country. Shortly after we moved in, things changed but that’s another story.

He is in a good situation and I am emptying boxes and discarding, donating, storing or shredding. Also taking art off the floor, that has been covered in towels, and placing it on the walls.

He says I’m “nesting.” I say I’m getting stuff off the floor. What I see, I can pack. Same as 13 years ago when I helped you move away from me forever, but now we’re married.

Two pieces have made me at home during his absence due to a contract in another state. Ten years ago I was told about a consignment store in Texas and looked at a piece of furniture that might have been suitable for bedroom or dining room. I opened the top drawer to see if the joints were dovetailed and lo and behold, there are two lithographs of Tuscan sites. Two dollars a piece. I took them home immediately, the lithos, not the furniture. A $4 find.

After $250 of matting and framing as of last week they are on the wall next to our bed. Two years with a white primer-ed wall, several months without a husband and they close the room in a bit and make me feel safe.

Tonight my husband made sure I have reservations at a hotel en route to see him and his family for Thanksgiving. I’m bringing a lot of food and gifts and looking forward to seeing everyone. Dog Zoe has an excellent sitter, and my standards for her care are high. I expect that she’ll come to the door, turn around and lie down and mumble, “Glad you’re home, Mom, I’m going to nap now.” That’s how my grandfather would have said “Yeah, I missed you but had a great time.”

Lots of stuff to do before I hit the road and my hotel. Dog food, cleaning, packing, dog bath, remembering all the frozen food. And loading the car without the dog knowing I’m leaving. Hmmmm. Any ideas? Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Dee