Category Archives: Editorial

Welcome to the blog

Adjusting

Posted on September 5, 2013 | Leave a comment

My southern family has its own tradition. We always had a family dinner where we mixed things up year by year. One year mom made a tangerine chicken with a cheesecloth topping to catch a tangerine and butter glaze, probably from Gourmet.

It was delicious. Our Southern family has 65 for dinner and sets up tables throughout Nanny’s house. Years ago I was so afraid of them and asking whether I would be accepted. My MIL questioned me, FIL told Jim after two hours in the car, “When are you gonna ask her, son?”

Then I had the Nanny interview an she told me he wanted my husband-to-be to have a job where he’d get a gold watch after 50 years. Sadly, I told her those jobs no longer exist. She passed me anyway.

We’ll go to Thanksgiving as always, only missed a year because of Black Friday and Jim’s work. I was so afraid of the array of food put out and the hierarchy of women from Nanny on down. Forget it, the men were all watching the Aggies battle the Texans or napping.

I started before we married with the spiced nuts. Then I added boursin. These were not for the buffet but for pre-and post-supper at the kitchen table. Then I taught the girls how to make boursin.

Then I introduced the stalwart spinach ball after we married, and gave it to Jim’s uncle’s new bride. After that, I knew these Southerners loved sweets so wanted to bring some of my own family into the mix. Mincemeat tarts were a hit. So was berry trifle.

Last year I made a spinach-cauliflower gratin because we now have a few vegetarians and one is Val the Vet who took our our Zoe’s hips ten years ago. It was a hit. I’m thinking of adding a corn pudding this year but here’s the thing.

My MIL has a wonderful kitchen and we work well together in it but adding dishes to the three-day marathon may be too much.

I now have to do the nuts (in advance from home), boursin, spinach balls, mincemeat tarts (I bring mincemeat from home), spinach-cauliflower gratin. and now a corn pudding? I think we can handle it.

After all, M has potato rolls by the dozen and brings gallons of iced tea and an Italian Cream Cake. People steal the potato rolls to take home, they’re so good.

Yes, we can do it. Thanks for being the best big sister I never had. And thanks to Nanny for hosting all of us every year. Thanks to all the ladies for your culinary efforts and to A and kids for prepping and serving and cleaning up. Then re-heating, serving and cleaning up. Thank the trash guys for picking up all those bags from a 65-person Thanksgiving. I give thanks before, after and during the day. Dee

Leave a comment

Posted in Editorial

Tagged , , , ,

Scylla and Charibdis

Posted on September 5, 2013 | Leave a comment

After reading about it in Odysseus I actually saw it in Greece. But I know it in my heart from my entire life. Between a rock and a hard place. Small ships couldn’t get through there without crashing on the rocks.

You make a decision. Should I tell on my sister or not? Should I say a politician tried to grope me in the elevator or not? It’s my life or my job. In my family I may be glossing over things but think as eldest I was “the fixer.” Unfortunately I was also the babysitter and often boss and am no longer useful in that role as we all appear to be adults.

When you’re too honest you end up between Scyilla and Charybdis more often than not. The games go on whether you play or decide not to do so.

In Junior High I had to play Killer Dodgeball, where if you got hit in the head and were still conscious, you got to play. If a ball touched you, you were out of the game. I stood in back and let a ball touch my foot and went out.

Then I met the girls’ JV Basketball team. I was little and somewhat fast and they said if I got all the balls from the midline, they’d cover me. They did and we won every game. Yes, back in the day I played the game. I may even be doing it vicariously now.

All I do is keep our home; provide for dog and my husband and assure that they are content, fed and watered. We walk, eat, sleep. And I write and shop for groceries. I try not to be political but can’t help myself there as I write. If I wrote about the grocery store you’d be bored to tears.

So, between a rock and a hard place it is. I balance family, families, trips, bills, and relationships at work and at home. When the scales shift, Dee goes to work to put everything back on track.

Speaking of on track, I now must have a list to track the number of dishes to bring to Thanksgiving! It used to be two, now it may be six or seven. I have the dog taken care of, now just need lists and flights to literally go over the river and through the woods. Y’all take care now. Dee

Leave a comment

Posted in Editorial

Tagged

Sad Oxymoron

Posted on September 5, 2013 | 1 comment

We’ve all heard of “Army Intelligence” et al (sorry USArmy, it’s out there and is probably not true).

Here’s a new one. “Crosswalk.” I spent six months encouraging the City to install one. After a woman died last week, they started curb cuts and put in a crosswalk of sorts.

In this town, cars speed up and honk horns in crosswalks in a state that prides itself on getting vehicles to stop for pedestrians and a city that is known for fining jay-walkers.

We’ve had the crosswalk for a week. My old dog and I can’t cross there any more. We go from other curb ramps with yellow in a spot where we can see speeders coming around the corner. City Traffic, you messed up.

My husband looked up signs that go in the middle of the street. They cost $200. It’s just a base with a drawing of a pedestrian on it, placed in an orange cone.

I don’t want us to die here because of angry, vengeful motorists. I just told a story to my Dad and an old family friend whose daughter, when I was five years old, was hired to walk me to and from school because there was a crosswalk in a village of 400 people (it went to 1,500 when college was in gear). People were nice and they stopped for a little kid and her “nanny.”

No-one stops now and I try to get people to stop sometimes, but sometimes I jay-walk and look for a police car so I can solve the problem. Forget the Mayor and elected representatives, this has to go to the precinct. Or the governor, oh, him, forget about that.I guess I can make the precinct a lasagne. Dee

1 Comment

Posted in Editorial

Tagged , , ,

Hosting and Traveling

Posted on September 4, 2013 | Leave a comment

Yes, I like to think of my husband and I as good hosts. As in life, it’s all about knowing your guests’ needs and how to meet them.

Granted, things have gone crazy on dinner, with one being vegan and another gluten-free and my husband can’t eat anything that swims.

For overnights, we do have a guest room/office and separate bath. But that’s not what this story is about. My husband traveled for business last week, and I made him pack his bag mostly himself (I organized it) as he has not done so for 12 years.

He stole the travel pillow we bought for the dog several years ago. He left it at the hotel. I called the hotel and they found it and charged me to send it back. Then I found out he left his cell phone charger as well.

Tonight, a FedEx package arrived with Zoe’s travel pillow (she’s asleep with it now) and my husband’s iPhone charger. Thank you, Ruth! She is amazing.

Now we spent the weekend finding a replacement pillow, which he left on a plane yesterday and someone stole. Let’s see, three pillows in a week, one returned by FedEx for $25 and an extra $20 phone charger. Solo travel is getting expensive.

The answer is to add to the method. Always put the pillow in your suitcase or if you actually unpacked, into the underwear and sock drawer. Always place the charger in your laptop bag. Honey, you can do it. You usually sweep the room for me, you just don’t bother doing it for yourself because you’re on to the next thing and don’t multi-task.

In my life, will I ever understand the mental processes of a man? Even my husband of over ten years? Probably not. The not multi-tasking thing drives me nuts. He expects me to cook and talk and get him ice for a soda and feed the dog and it’s done. Venus and Mars, I guess. Dogma (one of Zoe’s nicknames) has been lifted to the bed so I should go before she jumps down to find me. She is a herder, after all. Cheers, have a good night. Dee

Leave a comment

Posted in Editorial, Pet

Tagged , , , ,

Clothing and Accessories

Posted on September 3, 2013 | Leave a comment

Aside from my great-aunt’s pearls she got for her wedding, over 60 years ago, I’ve two small 18K gold hoop earrings I’ve worn for ten years, night and day, two golf bracelets with magnets that help my arthritis, and an 18K wedding ring. That’s my jewelry collection and I wear it every day. Except the pearls. Everything else was stolen.

Mens’ clothing is too easy. We had to drive a couple hundred miles, two directions, to find what we needed but we did and once we got there it was easy. I called Bass and asked for the make and model number of my husband’s “dog-walking” loafer and he said they were no longer being made but they had a pair in stock but said he’d set the pair aside for us.

Normally a gal can’t shop for pants (aside from jeans), suits or shoes for a guy but I used to get a pair of these shoes for my love every six months from the store near our old home. Now it’s been nearly two years and there is no tread and holes in the heels. We showed up and got what we thought was the last pair. Then we asked the manager to check and he found two more in my husband’s unusual size. We bought them all so as he’s no longer wearing them to work we have at least three years worth!

The other trek was north to find him shirts and socks for work. As I mentioned I can buy him shirts and socks without him present but this is what he wanted to do Labor Day weekend. I marvel at all the packaging, pins, plastic, cardboard and tissue paper that goes into selling a man’s shirt. Also the socks. It takes a lot of work for me to get all those toe and calf clips and tissue paper out of there. The Associate there even took out all the pins and ironed the shirts.

For women, there’s no such thing. I can’t go into a department store, look at something and say I want it tailored for me. It either fits or it doesn’t, looks good or does not and that’s the way it is. I’d love to walk in with my measurements and  see what I like and what fits or what can fit better.

When I was a child and even now I’ve short, wide feet. My mother once said instead of buying my younger sister and I each one pair of brogues for grade school each August, my sister should get two pair and I should wear the boxes. Yes, and the comments got worse from there and not only regarding shoes.

For me, shoe shopping in my 50’s is worse than looking for a string bikini. Don’t worry, I’m not looking for the latter and have another story on that. Gals always want to go shoe shopping. I demur. I look for a style I like or can tolerate then see if it comes in my size. Normally it doesn’t. Thank you, Crocs, for making my daily life comfortable – the dog thanks you too for her walks.

Ok, a decade ago we went on a boat to celebrate my father’s birthday. We were told we could only wear rubber-soled shoes on deck so I bought about five pair only to learn that when we went aboard we tossed all our shoes into a basket. I hadn’t worn a bathing suit for years so went to an upscale department store and an associate helped me pick out a Ralph Lauren and another with cover-ups for less than $500! I had support in the bust and in all areas and showed up on deck and my father was wearing a Speedo! That will tell you the difference between mens’ and womens’ clothing.

The tread is wearing out on the camouflage Crocs I bought down south last year. And in having all our stuff in storage I’ve not even come up with those swimsuits. Must be in the next box. That’s the way it goes. Ladies, how can a designer 2, be a 6 or 8, or 0 somewhere else. Tailoring is the only way to go. Dee

Leave a comment

Posted in Editorial

Tagged , ,

Freedom

Posted on August 31, 2013 | Leave a comment

In 1987 Joan Baez sang both Oh Freedom and Let Us Break Bread Together live. She spoke of Marian Anderson and Martin Luther King and I Have a Dream.

Her voice is from angels but I must say that having the Harley-Davidson 110th reunion this weekend (we’re not a part of it) and its low, incessant growl up and down our streets makes me think of one thing, Freedom. That’s what they did, allow freedom. Something makes me want to sell our safe cars and get a Harley, but what would do with our old dog? She won’t wear goggles or sit in a basket, not that any self-respecting Harley owner would have a basket.

After years I’ve finally found the CD and could certainly, even as a beginner, plan them out on my guitar. I would like to salute to the freedom Harley-Davidson has allowed, and also the individualism and camaraderie that driving that beast conveys. And I’d love to drive a couple of blocks on one, driven by the owner. Just tell them there’s a grandma in the neighborhood who needs a ride to the store.

Yesterday as storm clouds arrived I invited a photographer onto our balcony to take some shots and she took at least 150 as the sky changed and lightning struck. She promised to send a couple back. I’ve always liked letting photographers in to photograph storms or moose or whatever they do. It’s my Harley, my freedom to see what I miss in an everyday existence.

Oh, freedom, oh, freedom Oh, freedom over me

And before I’ll be a slave, I’ll be buried in my grave

And go home, to my Lord and be free.

Not only do I wish to have heard Joan Baez sing this I wish I’d heard Marian Anderson at the March on Washington fifty years ago. Enjoy your day and Labor Day weekend. Cheers, Dee

Leave a comment

Posted in Editorial

Tagged ,

Attack!

Posted on August 30, 2013 | Leave a comment

Just online. I was horrified by what I saw in Syria this morning. It brought me back to the Civil War (ha, no I wasn’t alive then but thanks for asking) and brother vs. brother. A very sad state of affairs that I’m afraid the US will have to intervene to keep these atrocities at bay.

My attack was not physical, but verbal, from a group of bloggers who were bored and I became the mouse to their cats. I will not even describe this next to Syria and the school that was overtaken by chemical weapons as it has no place there.

As I prepare to retire this blog when I get to 3,000 posts, I’ve had many postings on a news site where there’s a man who’s been with a woman nearly as long as my husband and I have been married, with a child of school age and figures out all he wants to do is go out and party with his friends.

I would never go out and date and live with a man and have a child without being married. So an entire  online “club” who was bored today decided I was the mouse. While I can deal with it, it still hurts. They called me judgmental and despicable for judging the couple for not getting married though I never said anything of the sort.

I did say that if after nine years and a kid he wouldn’t marry her and only wants to hang out and party with his buddies that he’s left her already. Tons of comments, all attacking me for being judgmental and despicable. Most of them from women! Many said women didn’t have to get married. Duh, I know that.

The dog needed walking so as the wind is coming up and rain is in the forecast, I took her out to clear my head. Now I have to figure out something for dinner. It’s Labor Day weekend and my dear husband has three days off. We’ll be firing up the grill. He actually got it cleaned last weekend at a car wash! Happy holiday weekend! Dee

Leave a comment

Posted in Editorial

Tagged , , , ,

Traveling

Posted on August 30, 2013 | 2 comments

When I write, after spell check and grammar, I like an unbiased person to read it, except here as I’m now old and wise. It was very smart for the legislature I worked for to put all of us analysts together so we could review each others’ work with an unbiased eye because we were each experts in a different area, so I could have Veterans’ Affairs review a White Paper while Education had me read theirs. I read years ago that the NYTimes writes for a sixth-grade audience. These are politicians so we aimed lower in order that complex matters could be explained in language they and their constituents could understand.

Now to travel. My husband has not packed a suitcase in 12 years. He makes fun of me for unpacking, giving him the top drawer because he’s tall, and me the middle one, hanging clothes, placing shoes in the closet and bringing a bag for dirty laundry. Oh, he makes even more fun of me for going to a Guest Laundry so I don’t have to come home and do three loads of wash like I’m doing today.

He stole my dog’s pillow, actually a human travel pillow we bought for the dog a few years ago that he wanted to use on the plane and in the hotel. He forgot it. Now he’s stolen my cellphone charger because he left that behind as well. This travel is costing us money, at least $20 to send back the pillow and phone charger if they find that.

Eyes, inexperienced eyes are key to safe travel. Two good things about my husband is that after I pack to go home, his inexperienced packing eyes and unbiased view look over the room so there are none of his socks are on the floor, or a hairbrush hasn’t been left by the bathroom sink. He’s good at that. Also, he keeps documents and as TSA always selects me (yes, nearly 55 but they still think I’m a terrorist grandma) he takes my laptop and purse and stands by while I go through the naked scanner, am patted down, then put through bomb residue testing.

All the while he’s got ten pounds of brisket and ribs on dry ice in carry-on and walked right through! Oh, isn’t traveling fun? This post goes out to Ruth in Phoenix for finding our stuff and sending it home. He’s on another business trip next week and we’ll see how many things he leaves behind. The Harleys are growling, all day and night. Cheers! Dee

2 Comments

Posted in Editorial

Tagged , , , ,

Purr……

Posted on August 29, 2013 | Leave a comment

When a couple heard a feral kitten purr at our spay/neuter clinic, they took him home and named him Harley. Now we’ve the 110th anniversary of Harley-Davidson and the bikes keep coming.

There are four things I hear from well above the street: sirens; squealing brakes; blaring car horns; and Harleys. Today it’s been a constant stream of Harleys in town for a weekend festival that is apparently held every five years. I don’t know, I’m new here and don’t plan to ever see another.

My husband is deathly allergic to cats, fish and horses. I even have to wash the dog every ten days so his allergies don’t flare up. There’s nothing like having a cat jump into your lap and purr like crazy. That’s what mine used to do, not together of course. I bought them a comfy blanket for Christmas one year so I could lie on the couch for five minutes and one would go under the blanket and the other over and once asleep, I’d slip out and go to work.

My old cat hated the young one but they thought they were snuggling with me, their food and litter wench, and not each other. My husband would call that sneaky. I also know back roads to the grocery stores which is a good sneaky as well. I look forward to the day we retire to the country and all the stray cats come to visit me outdoors, oh, they will,  so I can feed them, care for them, and of course get them all spayed/neutered.

Today there’s just a rumble in the air for miles and it’s all Harleys. No, I won’t tape it and make it my phone ring. I’ve been advised not to go anywhere this weekend so tomorrow I’ll hit the grocery and make sure we’ve enough food for the weekend. I guess people come in from all over the country for this and Aerosmith and ZZ Top will be here, plus other bands.

I also read that Indian is back in production. Great Anthony Hopkins movie, The World’s Fastest Indian. I’ve only ridden motorcycles several times and burned myself badly on a tailpipe at age 17. My husband had a BMW in college, named Mary Lou that he kept up (did all his mechanical work) in his dorm room. Now I’m afraid it may be time for a Harley. Nah, he needs his safe Volvo sedan to take the guys to lunch and I need the SUV because 1/3 of it is dog territory (she’s not allowed in the Vo) and we’re not paying for a third parking spot. It’s quiet on the Lake but noisy on the streets. Cheers, what are you doing this weekend? Dee

 

Leave a comment

Posted in Editorial

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Zoe, You’re Fired

Posted on August 28, 2013 | 1 comment

Not as first dog. But as an alarm clock your proficiency is down the toilet. I had a dream that it was 6:00 in the morning and I had to get up. It was 9:00 and you were sleeping on my husband’s pillow, snoring away.

I’m not angry at you. You missed Daddy for a few days, I know, as did I. I even realized that it’s not me that makes our hipless wonderdog go off the bed at night, it’s him. Touch her and she goes. Then, two hours later she begs to be lifted up again. No hips.

But as an alarm clock, you put in a dismal performance even though I left the shades up and the sun streamed in at 5:00 you didn’t even ask me to go out! I’m the Mom, and need to know these things and to have you on Jim’s pillow snoring away at 9:00 is disconcerting.

Zoe, as an alarm clock, you’re fired. As a dog, be ready to go out at 6:30 in the morning. Dad’s back and that’s when his iPhone alarm goes off. Disciplinarian and Food Wench Mom, Dee

1 Comment

Posted in Editorial, Pet