Etiquette: Baby-To-Be Parties

There is a posthumous piece on Slate today about restaurant wine service and waiters interrupting conversations to pour more wine from a bottle that has been ordered to cause diners to order another.

I’m going another direction. Baby showers. Yes, a waiter was involved but only at the direction of the “hostess.” I spent a day putting together a baby basket for a neighbor we bonded with as she’d just moved in, pregnant, and her husband had a new job and was working long hours.

Surprisingly, I was invited to the baby shower, which was a dinner for about 10 gals, everyone from her husband’s work besides me. I thoughtfully purchased items and  wrappings to assemble a basket that included everything from plastic keys (the “bow” atop the new basket) to bathtub books.

Dinnertime came and everyone rolled up in their expensive cars. The gals were nice, and I ordered a glass of wine and reasonably priced entree. They were ordering cocktails, bottles of wine, expensive meals, desserts and after-dinner drinks (luckily no booze for the mother-to-be). Then they split the bill.

I’d spent $75 on a gift for a nice gal I’d known for a couple of months and now my dinner was $30 including tip but I had to add an extra $100 to that for their excess. Years later, I believe the hostess should have told me, the outsider, of the arrangement, and said to the waiter that the bill would be shared by all except the mother-to-be (of course she shouldn’t pay). At least I would have had a second glass of wine and perhaps a salad! Cheers, Dee

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