This little piggy…

went to market. This little piggy stayed home…. Yes, he stayed home. Last Thursday one case of swine flu was diagnosed at a local school. All the schools in this small city were evacuated and the kids were supposed to return to class yesterday. Then the school board decided to keep the kids out of school all week while they sanitize the schools.

One brilliant city council member suggested “track[ing] local people who might have come in contact with someone suspected of having swine flu. Apparently this individual skipped American history in grade school, at least the day in which the Constitution was mentioned as our land’s governing document.

I haven’t yet checked the soap aisle in the grocery store, but am certain the shelves where the antibacterial gels were once located are probably bare. Using antibacterial products to fight a virus? Hmmm. But all good sense has gone out the window and mass hysteria prevails.

At yesterday’s guitar lesson I had to use an antibacterial wipe for my hands just to touch my own guitar. In my first two lessons my teacher took my guitar to test its appropriateness (size-wise) for me, and to help tune it. Not yesterday, with the new “swine flu measures” in place.

We went to a new restaurant for dinner and it was empty, because of the swine flu. But where were the high school kids? Not at home, protecting themselves from catching the virus. No, these rich kids who live in a vacation paradise and who just had to flock to Mexican beaches for spring break, were hanging out in packs. They blocked the doors and aisles of the grocery store and hung out at the mall.

The closest I’ve ever come to a live pig is the book and movie Charlotte’s Web. As to dead pigs, that would be the pork chops I cooked last week and the two slices of bacon I ate for breakfast.

If these are so concerned about dreaded diseases affecting their children in their enforced seven-day absence from school, they should keep their little piggies at home where they can still call their pals, listen to their iTunes, play video games on their laptops, maybe even do some homework. Or better yet, help the maid sanitize their room.

I’m picking up three things at the grocery store and dropping off/picking up at the drycleaner. And no, I won’t be wearing a mask. Cheers! Dee