Thoughts

I was so messed up today. I went nowhere today and spent the day in pajamas with cold/flu/bug. Who knows. Last week about six hours from now I got the dreaded phone call that Mom was gone. Since then we’ve very much appreciated comments and notes and calls and letters with condolences.

Mom’s and my relationship was complicated and we never really talked about it. There’s a real emotional loss there, laced with some conflict. After an entire summer being awake at night with many other things in our lives that were difficult, I think I just got permission to sleep for a few days. Not all day or every day but with Jim’s new job and our living situation straightened out and Mom, most importantly, at peace if I’m really dragging I’ll make Jim breakfast and set out his clothes, kiss him goodbye and go to bed for another hour.

Jim may hate me for this but I love it. He’s a wonderful and great, big guy and I love him so much, but he accepted a tennis date Monday with a colleague at work. He was the physics guy, not the sports guy. I think the tennis racquet he had in high school is somewhere in a trailer on the ranch. So tomorrow morning we’re going to get him a new one, shorts, shoes, shirt, proper socks and a tennis bag. And some balls, tennis variety. He already has others to have taken this challenge.

Wish my love the best. Luckily he’ll have a solid Sunday night dinner (the pork roast, as we had spaghetti last night) and I’ll make him a great breakfast to get through the day.

Hope your weekend is going well. Cheers, Dee